Inspired and Strong, Author at Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Salmon and Veggies

October 11, 2022 No Comments

I know it’s been a while since I did a post from our Friday Fixins, but we have been cleaning up our Fort Myers house and our neighborhood for the past two weeks due to Hurricane Ian. Therefore, today’s post is a delicious recipe. Even as we clean up, we try to stick to our nutrition plan. Tonight, we had wild salmon from Costco, roasted broccoli, and zucchini noodles with butter and parmesan cheese. We washed it down with one of our wedding wines, Amici. Tasty!

We preheat our oven to 400 degrees. We use cookie sheets for both the fish and veggies. We line the baking sheets with aluminum foil and parchment paper for easier cleanup. We use olive oil or avocado oil spray and Nature’s Seasons on everything!

Once the sheets are lined, we wash the broccoli and chop it up into a bowl. We spray with oil and season. We mix it up, spray it again and season it again. Do this a few times until you find the flavor you like. Then spread it on a lined baking sheet and put it in the oven. Set timer for 15 minutes.

Next, wash the fish. We use a paper towel to dry. Then put it on a baking sheet. Spray the top and season with a little bit of butter, a couple of pinches of garlic, salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese if you like.

When the timer goes off, stir up the broccoli and put the fish in the oven. Set timer for 15 minutes.

When there are about 7 minutes left on the time, microwave your frozen zucchini noodles in the bag. Once done, drain and season with salt and pepper. We added a bit of butter and parmesan cheese to ours.

Once the final timer goes off, scrape off the bottom skin of the salmon if you prefer. Pile up your veggies high and eat up!! Enjoy!

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Comprehension

October 5, 2022 No Comments

My therapist said to me once that you can communicate your feelings to someone but if their listening window isn’t open they aren’t going to hear you. Communication is the first step but making sure they understand your needs is the second.

I used to think communication was key until I realized comprehension is. You can communicate all you want to someone but if they don’t understand you, it won’t reach them the way you need it to.

~ unknown

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Beach Wedding

October 4, 2022 No Comments

Two weeks ago, I went to one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding at the beach. It’s hard to believe my friends’ children are now old enough to be getting married. But I guess the older they get the older we get. How can it be??

There are four of us from my home town who are very close. We have known each other since Kindergarten, and we have kept in touch throughout the years. Even though our paths have gone different ways when we get together it’s like nothing has changed. And honestly, even though it’s been 28 years since we graduated high school I still feel like we all look and act the same! So how any of us have young adult children is beyond me.

When I moved back to my hometown in 2016 I had the pleasure of coaching two of my best friends’ daughters in softball. It was a lot of fun to get to know my friends again and to get to know their mini me’s. I am so proud of them for raising such wonderful kids. Their children are happy, confident, and funny. I know they had hard times and probably thought they would lose it now and again, but I hope they feel a sense of accomplishment and hope for their little ones. I feel like their children are some of the sweetest, smartest, and most compassionate people I know. And hopefully, my friends know it’s because of the hard work they put in. And I like that the kids like to hang out with us! (Even if we embarrass them a time or two!)

It’s amazing how fast time goes! I remember when they were born! And now they are growing up and starting their adult lives. I am beyond happy for all of them.

The wedding was in Sandbridge, Virginia. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend. The sky was breathtaking and the pictures were amazing. The bridal party and families stayed in a huge house right on the beach. We stayed in another one called the “Stupa.” A few other family members stayed close by. It was such a nice relaxing weekend. (For us anyway:))

I also realized as old as we get, we will probably never grow up. We had so much fun at the reception around the pool that evening. We sang we danced, we laughed, we gasped when the “kids” played some songs with some very shocking lyrics, and we even shed some tears. One of my friends and I sang one of our favorites by the Jets called “Crush on You“. Everyone must have been a little tipsy because no one told us how awful we sounded! We knew every word by heart and decided we need to repeat the performance at the hometown reception later in October. We might even add some dance moves.

I can’t say enough how much I appreciate these friendships with these amazing women. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. We have suffered loss, had health scares, had weddings, and been through divorces. There is no one I would rather do it with than these three. Love you, ladies!

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Don’t Worry

September 28, 2022 No Comments

It’s hard not to have hurt feelings when someone doesn’t like you or someone has done hurtful things to you. But keep your head high and know that you don’t need hurtful people in your life. Get rid of the toxic relationships and cherish those that love you and lift you up.

Don’t worry about the people who hurt or hate you, worry about the people who love you, because that’s where your happiness is.

www.yourpositiveoasis.com

Photo by D Jonez on Unsplash

In Family

Drama

September 27, 2022 No Comments

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to thrive on drama? They want to be in the middle of it ALL THE TIME! Why? Drama, according to the Urban Dictionary means “creating unnecessary stress about unimportant things. Making a mountain of a mole hill to get attention.” So why do people do this?

It seems people create unnecessary drama to make their lives more exciting. People feel lonely, and they want to be involved, even when it’s none of their business. They feel they can share their experiences even if they have never experienced the situation before. They want to give their advice or have people feel sorry for them when things don’t quite go their way. I feel this quote sums it up pretty well.

It seems that people who love and create drama are never quite happy with things around them. And even when there are reasons to be happy, they sabotage and self-sabotage until the relationship, the workplace, the circumstance looks like the preferred environment of chaos they have in their head.

The biggest problem with drama kings and queens is they want to pull everyone, including you into their drama. They need others involved to feel the excitement. It’s like a drug. They need the rush. They also don’t want others to be happy. They want it to be about them. They have no interest in appreciating others or what they are going through.

So what can you do when you have friends or family members who LOVE drama? The first rule of advice is to stay calm. And at first, that family member may resent you. They may say you don’t care because you aren’t getting involved. But for your own physical and mental health, it’s better to be criticized and stay out of the situation. Eventually, they will not involve you in the drama anymore. Here are 8 Strategies to Avoid Other People’s Drama by Sharon Martin.

Accept that you cannot change that person. Remember the book called “Compete Every Day” by Jake Thompson. “We have control of only three things in life: our effort, our attitude, and our emotions.” Not others.
Anticipate difficult situations. If you know you are going to be around someone who is dramatic then prepare for your responses.
Stay calm. Don’t react to the situation and don’t get involved.
Remove yourself from the situation. If they get upset that you won’t react then go home.
Don’t make it about you. The drama they create has nothing to do with you.
Stay in your own lane. Worry about the things you can control.
Maintain clear boundaries. You only need to be involved in the situations you want to be involved in.
Get support. Talk to others and make sure you have support.

Although it is difficult to remain drama-free, there are steps you can take to minimize the drama in your life. Stay positive. Everyone is on a different journey. Embrace your journey and if you don’t like the path you are on, then change it. Isn’t it easier to support each other than to tear each other down?

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Grief

September 21, 2022 No Comments

Grief although lessens with time it never truly goes away. You just have to learn to continue to live. And live life to the fullest because you never know when the gift of life will be taken away.

Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of glitter into the air, but when you try to clean it up, you’ll never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked into corners, it will always be there – somewhere.

~ unknown

Photo by Ann on Unsplash

In Family

Sister’s Memorial

September 20, 2022 2 Comments

My sister has been gone a little over four years now. A few months ago, my mom ordered a headstone for her to lie next to that of my dad, uncle and grandparents . My mom still struggles as you can imagine. She wanted the headstone to be placed in the cemetary in our small town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She wanted a resting spot for her little girl near her when she is laid to rest. And she wanted to have a little memorial to honor her.

After a few design ideas, my mom ordered a headstone. She put my sister’s husband’s name on it as well since they were married when she passed. Whether their children will bury any of his ashes there beside my sister is up to them. But for now, there is a piece of her where people can go and say hello.

The headstone was placed this summer. My mom lives in Virginia so she decided to have a little memorial in August (my sister’s birthday month) to bury some of her ashes at the gravesite. That weekend she also decided to organize a golf outing for my dad’s side of the family.

The weekend ended up being absolutely wonderful. My mom came in Thursday, and we had some fun times together shopping and getting things ready for the weekend. On Friday, my hubby came home, and we went up to the gravesite to dig holes and clean the graves. I kept asking my mom if she was ready for the memorial and knew what she was going to say. She said, “I am just winging it!” I said, “Ok.” I am not good at speaking in front of people so I knew I needed to write some thoughts down.

Later that evening my mom’s best friend since first grade come to the house and spent the night. We also had some family friends over for a campfire. We shared many memories of my sister, my dad, my mom’s best friend’s cousin, and of course sweet Gram. It was a wonderful night of friendship, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.

The next morning, a lot of my dad’s side of the family and friends of my sister came to the house for brunch. We had eggs, bacon, and French toast casserole. Of course, since it was my dad’s side of the family we also had mimosas and Bloody Marys. I did a slideshow of my sister and had it playing on the TV. One of my sister’s best friends brought her yearbooks and some old pictures of her. It was wonderful to see her cute little face.

After brunch, we all headed to the cemetery. In front of family and the very best of friends, my mom gave her tribute. She talked about why she needed to do this and what it all meant for her. Along with burying some of my sister’s ashes, she also buried Kuma, the cat, near Gram, and our other family cat, Ciaty, near my dad. She thought she would lose it as she talked about her daughter and how much she misses her every day. But she held it together for the most part and gave a wonderful speech.

I spoke next, and I am not sure I kept it together very well. But I said what I wanted to. My sister’s godmother went next and then some other friends and family shared a few memories of my little sis. There were tears and there was laughter.

My sister had the biggest heart and the most heart-warming smile. Hearing the memories of others made my heart happy. Being surrounded by our wonderful family and friends made me realize how many people’s lives she touched. I also realized even though she isn’t here anymore she will never be forgotten.

Up on the hill that Saturday morning, although sad, it was peaceful. It left me with hope for our family. Just look at the pictures that were taken on that beautiful morning. It truly shows there are so many signs from heaven and that ALL of our heavenly family was there with us that beautiful Saturday morning.

Thank you, mom, for putting this wonderful memorial weekend together. Although you will never forget and some of the pain will never go away, I hope you find some peace and closure knowing your little girl is reunited with the family and will be there waiting for you when God decides he needs you, too.

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Sunshine

September 14, 2022 No Comments

I saw this post on Facebook and knew I had to repost it. Stay close to those people who make you feel good about yourself. Let the ones go who bring you down.

Stay Close to the People who Feel like Sunshine

-Unknown

Photo by Aurélien Lemasson-Théobald on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

Happy 98 Years Gram!

September 13, 2022 No Comments

Today would have been Gram’s 98th Birthday! She was only a year and a half short. What an amazing life she lived and what wonderful things she saw over those 96 years. Can you even imagine all the changes that occurred from 1924 to 2021???

Speaking of change, a few things have changed since Gram left us here on Earth. My Rock and I bought Gram’s House from my mom last year right before Gram’s birthday. When we got here this summer, we decided to update a few things around. We wanted to make the house a little bit more “ours” and a little less “grandparent-looking”. I started by painting some of Gram’s old furniture. I used an oil-based primer called Stix and Red Ochre Chalk paint. We didn’t want to spend money on furniture that wasn’t really needed, but we wanted a fresher look. Although I am not much of an artist, I think they turned out pretty good if I do say so myself! Changing paint color and hardware can make such a difference. We also got a new dining room table and chairs from Jeff’s mom as well as some new area rugs that have really made a difference. One of my very good friends helped me reupholster the chairs. I could have never done it without her! I think they are awesome!

We hired a contractor and had a beadboard ceiling installed in our three bedrooms and little bathroom. We had those rooms and the front room painted. Jeff also did some work on our front porch. We had a new carpet installed, and he updated the posts that were falling apart. We also changed the door handles from gold to bronze and updated the electrical outlets from cream to white. No one probably will ever notice except for us but we love the little changes!

Another project that we loved was restoring a picture I found in my grandparents’ basement. It had some mold and water damage to it but it was a beautiful picture of the Hotel Rider. The Hotel Rider was a huge hotel that sat on the hill in Cambridge Springs, PA. It was constructed around 1895 but burned to the ground in 1931. My grandparents were very involved with Alliance College and the Hotel Rider became the college in 1912. Not sure where the picture came from but it was in pretty bad shape. We took the picture to Eva Art Conservation in northern Virginia hoping she could save it. She spent hours upon hours and a couple of years on our picture but the end product is absolutely amazing! She was wonderful to work with, and I highly recommend her if you need any art restored. I think Gram would be so happy that we have this beautiful picture hanging in our fireplace room. She used to tell stories of how she saw the hotel burning from her farm when she was seven years old. We even have pictures of the fire that we need to get framed.

Another change that occurred was the selling of Gram’s Condo. I was very torn about selling the condo. My grandparents loved going to the condo. It was such a part of them and it was the place where Jeff picked me up for our very first date. My therapist reminded me that since my grandparents are gone, I will not be making any more memories with them in the condo. The memories I have are already made and will always be with me. Although we loved having an extra spot for people to stay when they came to town, we decided it was time for it to go. We had started renting it in 2021 and just didn’t want to have to deal with the nonsense anymore.

We aren’t sure that we really need another “house” but Jeff and I are hoping to find something small in Richmond so we can be closer to my mom and the kids. Although I know my grandpa would be a little disappointed that we don’t have the condo anymore, I think he would be very happy that we want to be closer to family, and that we sold it at the top of the market.

So, Gram, I hope you have the most wonderful birthday up in Heaven celebrating 98 years. I know you will all be together for a great birthday bash! I hope you enjoy the changes we are making down here, and we wish you were here to see them for yourself. Please tell everyone we love and miss them. Can’t wait until you visit again either in my dreams or as a beautiful cardinal.

In Family

Communication

September 6, 2022 No Comments

Why is communication so hard? Telling someone what’s on your mind shouldn’t be that difficult. But somehow it is. Finding the right words is hard. But why? Isn’t it better than assuming what’s on someone’s mind and then realizing that’s not what they were thinking at all? Yet, we do it time and time again.

We hold our feelings inside. We are afraid of other people’s reactions. We are afraid if we speak the truth then they will be upset with us. But don’t we find when we do speak the truth the outcome is usually much more pleasant?

A lot of miscommunication starts with text messages. We don’t talk on the phone like we used to so people cannot read the inflection in other’s voices. We don’t spend as much time face-to-face, therefore, words are misread and feelings tend to get hurt.

It’s hard because texting is much easier in this busy, busy world. But then we just assume something and feelings get hurt. People don’t ask each other what’s going on and then time passes away and friendships get lost.

I am guilty of doing it myself. Rarely does something upset me but when it does, then I tend to hold onto it for a long time. I think because it takes a lot to hurt or offend me that when someone does, especially on purpose, it makes my blood boil. And it makes it hard for me to get over especially if they don’t take the first step in admitting they were wrong.

Many times it’s easier to let relationships go instead of putting in the work. I think that depends on what kind of relationship it is. If it’s a healthy friendship then yes, take a deep breath, suck it up and make the phone call. If it’s a toxic relationship then maybe it’s better to go your separate ways. Either way, evaluate, think about it, and decide what that relationship is worth to you.

In the end, communication is key in all relationships whether it’s in marriage, friendships, family, or another type of relationship. Telling someone you like their outfit, their hair, that you love them, or even just please and thank you can mean so much. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Speak loud and speak strong.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash