Friendship. What does it mean to you? My Rock and I have amazing friends as I have stated time and time again. I am not sure why we are so lucky, but we are blessed with the best of friends from our childhood, college years, and adulthood. Even the new people we have met have become the best of friends. We are forever grateful for our amazing friendships.
I am not sure what friendship means to you or if you keep score in your friendships. I hope not. It doesn’t matter who called last or whose turn it is to visit. Just make it work. To me, it is a feeling I get as I meet and get to know people. Maybe I am different but when I make a bond with someone, I feel like it is forever. Even if I don’t talk, text, or communicate with that person on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, it is a bond that stands the test of time. I believe we all know that everyone’s lives are super busy. And as friendships grow we need to understand that circumstances change. We can’t expect that person to be there every minute of every day but what we can expect is that each person will make an effort to keep that friendship going in whatever way they can.
According to the Internet and Wikipedia, the following is the definition of friendship. Friendship is a hard concept to put into words and each relationship is like a snowflake…unique and different in its own special way.
“If you look in the dictionary it will tell you that the definition of friendship is a state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and goodwill; friendliness; amity; goodwill. That all sounds nice, but it doesn’t cover the fact that a true friendship is a relationship that can survive the test of time and remain unconditional.”
“Friendship for most people is a combination of affection, loyalty, love, respect, and trust. The general traits of a friendship include similar interests, mutual respect, and an attachment to each other, and in order to experience friendship, you need to have true friends. The emotional safety provided by friendship means not having to weigh your thoughts and measure words. True friendship is when someone knows you better than yourself and takes a position in your best interests in a crisis. Friendship goes beyond just sharing time together, and it is long-lasting.”
As we continue on this journey we call life, we need to realize how important friendships are. In my single days, my friends were there to help fill the void of a significant other. I had friends I could count on to go to church with, to play sports with, and to go shopping with. As a single person, you do have to learn to do a lot of life on your own, but with good friends, some tasks can be made easier by sharing them with another human being.
When I met My Pilot, I didn’t know what I was getting into. I knew that I had the best of friends. I didn’t realize that he also had the best of friends. We both keep in touch with friends we have known since elementary school. We keep in touch with friends from college. We keep in touch with friends we met at ski weeks. We keep in touch with people all over the country and the world.
Sometimes it is overwhelming. Sometimes I need a break from all these friendships. Sometimes our social life is too much. But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love that our friends understand that we may not remember all the life events or their kids’ life events or even names sometimes:) but we love them and will do our best. But when we get together, it will be like no time has passed. I love that we can call friends up at the last minute (and they can call us) and say hey we are coming to town. Are you around? And usually, we are welcome with open arms.
A little over a month ago, we had our Fifth Anniversary Party on New Year’s Eve. We had a weeklong party celebrating with friends from all walks of both of our lives. Sometimes people like to keep their friends separate, but My Love and I both don’t believe that at all. All of our friends are so awesome that they should meet each other and love each other like we love them.
What we found was true. Our friends truly had a wonderful time getting to know each other and spending time together. We even got a note from one of our single flight attendant friends and she said this:
“You attract amazing friends! That’s saying something as I don’t usually enjoy “all couple parties” but yours was absolutely AMAZING!”
We cannot be more appreciative of our beautiful friends. We love and cherish you and your friendships. Count your blessings if you have amazing friends and foster those relationships. If you don’t, then it’s time to let them go and make new amazing friends!
If you know me then you know I absolutely love an automobile made by Volkswagen from 2007-2016 called the EOS. EOS means Goddess of the Dawn, which is one of the many reasons I think the car is cool. The car is a hard-top convertible with a sunroof that also opens. Many people ask me why do you need a convertible AND a sunroof. Well, if you never had both, you wouldn’t understand. But I need both.
I remember back in 2007, I was at a teaching conference in northern Virginia. I was pulling out of the shopping center from the hotel, and I saw this cute little convertible. In my head, I was like what kind of car was that? It seemed fancy. I. thought maybe it was a Lexus or a Volvo, which would have been out of my price range. I looked closer and it was a VW. Hmm, I was intrigued. I knew it wasn’t a Cabriolet, so what WAS it?
I don’t quite remember the exact order of events, but I know I was home in Pennsylvania and my mom, dad, and I went to the mall which is about a 30-minute drive from our house. On the way back, I convinced them to stop at the Volkswagen dealership so we could check out this car.
We went into the showroom, and there it was. The top was down. It was so pretty. The salesman told me it was an EOS. They just started making them. He said would you like to see the sunroof? I said, “The sunroof???” Wait, what? Yes, please show me.
I couldn’t believe it! This was the car of my dreams! Every car I had owned since I was 16 had a sunroof. I loved having it open and the wind in my hair. At that time, I lived in Virginia, and I felt the weather was more conducive to a convertible, and this was the one I wanted.
This car, this EOS had BOTH options! A convertible and a sunroof! My dad just looked at me directing me with a roll of his eyes to calm down. He didn’t want the salesperson to think he had me already. There would be no negotiating. I needed that car.
For some reason, I wasn’t in a position to buy it at that time, but since I knew what the car was, I could make some moves. A few months later, I went back and signed the papers. Ellie Dawn EOS was mine all mine. She was black with black interior and a stick shift. I loved her.
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I had her for six or seven years and put about 140,000 miles on her. The roof leaked and there were some flaws, but it didn’t matter. Once I sold her I ended up with a white 2013 with black interior that I bought at CarMax with 5,000 miles on it in 2014. She also was very good to me and stayed parked at my mom’s place when I did my teaching stint in Thailand in 2015.
When I moved back to PA and started taking care of Gram, the car went with me. Sweet Gram and I had plenty of fun in Ellie EOS II. We put the top down and cruised the back woods of Pennsylvania exploring all the local ice cream stops. We took her up and down the coast from Fort Myers to Richmond and back. One unlucky 4th of July in 2017, we were on I-95 on our way back from RVA and traffic stopped but we didn’t and Ellie II was totaled. Thank God neither of us was hurt and the airbags didn’t deploy. I was so sad.
I was a realtor who was living in Pennsylvania taking care of Gram at the time. Therefore I decided it would be more practical to have more of an all-wheel drive vehicle with some room in it for the winter months and my job. I invested in a Honda CRV. It had a sunroof of course.
In 2018, Gram and I moved to Florida to be with my Prince. After being there a couple of years, I decided I needed another EOS. We had a Jeep, but I was done with the Honda. I wanted another EOS. It was 2020 and Covid was about the shut down the country. I found one in Naples and the salesman drove it to my house for me to test drive. My Valentine was out of town but a good friend from home was there to help me assess the flaws.
We decided it was right so My Rock bought it for me for my birthday. I was so excited to be back behind the wheel of the EOS. The top was down most of the time but it was always nice to have the option of the sunroof when there was a little chill in the air.
Then Hurricane Ian hit in September 2022. Four feet of water and muck took over the garage and my cute little car. Ellie III was white with tan interior and she was gone. I couldn’t believe it. But I was thankful that the garage and my car were the only things we lost. Many of our neighbors were not as lucky.
After 10 days of clean-up and dealing with insurance companies, we went back to Pennsylvania as we do in the summer. Our insurance company was good to us and the search was on for yet another EOS. If you don’t know, they quit making them in 2016 so at this point, any EOS was going to be at least six years old.
Before we returned in November, I found one. It was a beautiful blue 2014 with tan interior. We bought it sight kind of unseen as we had a friend in California who took it for a test drive for us. He said it was almost perfect except for the new radio and windshield wipers they needed to put on it. When we returned she was waiting in our garage. I was in awe of how perfect Ellie EOS IV really was. She only had 23,000 miles on her and seemed flawless.
I said I would not let her go. I said if a storm hit I would get a friend to come move her out of the garage if we weren’t here. I said I was going to have her forever. Well, in September 2024, Hurricane Helene went up the Gulf. It wasn’t even near Fort Myers. It didn’t even make landfall close to us. A friend came to the house that afternoon after the storm had passed. He reported that we had a few inches in the garage but nothing to worry about.
Well, in the middle of the night, that nothing to worry about turned into 28 inches of water in our garage. I am not sure if it was a storm surge or what but our street flooded again. After the water receded, our friend went over and became the bearer of the bad news. She was gone. Again. I couldn’t believe it. She was perfect.
We went to Florida for a few days to clean up the garage again, and I actually went to Naples to look at another EOS. Thank God I didn’t buy it because 10 days later Hurricane Milton hit and it would have been flooded as well.
I have spent the last four months searching. I wanted an EOS between the years 2010-2015 with a power passenger seat, navigation, Bluetooth, and a backup camera with less than 50,000 miles on it. They were few and far between. I was getting frustrated. Where was the perfect one? Therefore, I tried to convince myself to leave the EOS in the past. I test-drove a beautiful white hard-top BMW convertible but when we left I cried because it didn’t have a sunroof. I was hopeless. My sweet husband put up with my mixed emotions and let me struggle through this journey of finding a new car.
I knew if I wanted a nice car I needed to let EOS go. I also kind of wanted a standard but they quit making them in the EOS in 2012. I was torn. Do I go older and get a stick in the EOS or do I move on and try a different make? I literally test-drove every convertible I could think of…Porsche, BMW, Infiniti, Lexus, and Audi. I didn’t want a soft-top but they quit making the hard-top convertible a few years ago. I tried so hard to move on, but I wasn’t in love with any of them.
Then it happened. A few weeks ago, a black EOS with black interior was in Fort Myers. My Heart and I looked at it, but it still wasn’t right. We found a white one in Miami so we started heading over to check it out. Halfway across Alligator Alley, we stopped, and I said, “Let’s turn around. The headliner is messed up and it’s not worth the two-hour drive.” I said, “Let’s stop at Ford. Maybe I should try the Bronco. Let’s check it out.”
Therefore, we stopped at Ford. We looked at the Broncos but it wasn’t what I wanted. The top wasn’t automatic and it would be a pain in the butt to wash. Back in his truck, we went. As we were pulling out, I spotted her! A blue EOS parked right there. I couldn’t believe it. How did we miss it on the way in? We stopped, and I hopped out of the truck. I looked in the window and it was a stick! The interior was gray. I couldn’t believe it. I was ready to run into the dealership and ask whose car it was. But then I saw a piece of paper. There was a note on the windshield. The note said the clutch was stuck to the ground and that the owner’s dad had bought a truck there and to call if there was a problem.
I was so excited. I knew it was an older model because of the front. I wasn’t super thrilled with that but it was the right color, the exterior was in good condition, the tires were new, and it was a stick! I called and left a message. The next day I didn’t hear anything. I texted the number and asked if they would be interested in selling. He said, yes! A few days later, we went to get a closer look. It was a 2007 and had 93,000 miles on it. I was hoping for a small miracle that it was a 2010 with 50,000 miles on it, but the price was right, and I was tired of looking.
The next day I had the car towed to a mechanic. Clearly, the clutch needed fixed as well as a few other things. Two days later, I picked her up! Ellie EOS V was mine all mine! I was so excited! I drove her like a race car driver all the way home (because that’s what you do when you drive a stick:))
She is a bit more mature (I don’t want to say older) than the last three I have had. Honestly, it took me a minute to get used to going back in time to 2007, but I believe it was meant to be in the way we found her, and I have faith she is going to be good to me. And I love driving a stick! Thank you, Cousin Pat for teaching me way back when.
I imagine after reading this you think I am a little crazy and as my best friend said I do have some weird obsession with the Volkswagen EOS. I can’t help it, and I don’t know what I will do when I have to move on. Until then I am going to enjoy this little ride for as long as I can!
I saw this post and it made me laugh. I do this all the time to my husband when we are out to eat. I love trying a variety of things at a restaurant, and I want him to share with me. Most of the time he rolls his eyes, but gives in, when I ask him if he wants to get two dishes and share them.
Maturing in marriage is understanding that when she can’t decide between two meals at a restaurant, it’s your job to get the other one so she can try both…
Recently, I had a conversation with a girlfriend about marriage. She told me she wasn’t happy and that she and her husband were having trouble as many couples do. I always feel sad when people are not happy, and I want to figure out how to help them make it better. Life is too short, and I want everyone to enjoy this one shot that we have at it.
I know life is not all sunshine and roses. Life is hard. Things happen and times can suck. We must realize that we can make a difference in our lives. We have control of our careers, where we live, what we do, and who we do it with. If you haven’t already, sit down with your partner and look at your year in review. What did you enjoy doing and who did you enjoy doing those things with? This is also a perfect time to review your relationship. What went well and what can you make better? It’s not a time to point fingers, but a time to reflect and build.
Because you are unhappy, I don’t think you should give up on your partner. Relationships are hard. You fell in love at some point. You enjoyed each other’s company in the past. The question is, how do you get back into the “love bubble?”
I was unhappy in a previous marriage and decided to get divorced. I believe we both tried, but in the end, we were good people who weren’t good together. We didn’t know how to communicate, and we hurt each other with broken promises.
Although nothing is perfect, I do believe I found the perfect person for me. He stole my heart with his love for Sweet Gram. He makes our partnership amazing by doing the little things like making me coffee every morning. He also knows relationships take work, and we agree that we want ours to be 100 percent amazing. And we have fun together. We focus on the positive. We look out for each other.
I’ve written in the past about how people say opposites attract and many marriages work on that principle. My Rock and I are anything but opposite. And it works for us. Sometimes we both get overwhelmed with our Never Home lifestyle but usually, we just need a day or two of downtime or a “therapy session” (as I like to call it), and we are back at it. We also have had our issues, but we have been able to talk them out and make it better. I finally learned that I needed to quit bringing up old issues. We would talk about them then I would continue on my rant weeks or months later. It wasn’t fair to him or to me to keep bringing up the same old issue. Finally, we both realized the best way to handle it was to be honest about our feelings and to put the issue to rest.
I do believe there are things you can do to make your marriage better if you are struggling. I also believe it takes two people and 100 percent effort. It takes complete honesty to make a marriage better.
If you are struggling in your relationship, please have a sit-down, uninterrupted, no cell phones, no TV, eye-to-eye honest conversation. Decide if you want to move forward, make it better, and have fun in life. Decide what you have to do to get there. Decide what compromises you EACH have to make to bring your relationship back to a happy one. I think the best thing for our relationship was that we started with a long-distance courtship. We had to communicate our feelings through email, phone calls, and text messages. We used the love language of words of affirmation for the first year of our relationship and would email each other “why we liked each other”. We also would state whether or not we wanted to continue our relationship. We would write what we liked or didn’t like about our relationship at the time. It was a great foundation that we continue to use every new year to check in. We talk about what we like, what we don’t like, and how we can make our marriage better.
Again, I am no expert but I believe these are a few things you can try before you let the relationship go:
Fill Each Other’s Love Bucket. Read the book “The Five Love Languages.” Do the test and talk to your partner about how to fill each other’s love buckets. Be open and honest.
Therapy Session. You can schedule a session with a marriage counselor or you can schedule a time to get together, turn your phones off, and have a serious and deep conversation with each other. What caused conflict or hurt in the first place? How can you get past that hurt? What do you like and dislike about each other? Where did things fail? Once it is all out there then you need to decide if you can let the past go. Can you move forward? Can you let this be the last conversation about the topic and move on? Can you trust each other?
Communication. If you are not good at communicating and you let things build up, try working with your partner on a keyword or phrase to let them know something is bothering you but you don’t know how to bring it up. For me, I tell My Valentine I need a therapy session with him. We will do it then or at a time when we can both drop everything and focus. He then knows what I am going to say is important. I like this way of communicating because it gets us both in the frame of mind of being open, honest, and listening.
Activities. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing together. Do you both enjoy going to the gym? Then go together. Do you enjoy pickleball, tennis, golf, skiing, or some other sport? Then get a few dates on the calendar. Do you enjoy going out to dinner or cooking together at home? Then schedule a weekly date. It is important to find things you enjoy doing together.
Independence. Is there something you don’t enjoy doing together but one person does? A wise friend once told me if there is something you like and they don’t, it is okay to do it separately. I believe you need time away from each other to appreciate each other. My grandparents worked together for 30 years. Although in different offices, they ate lunch together every day. But my grandmother loved going to Bingo once or twice a week, and my grandpa loved going to sporting events. They enjoyed each other and would often go polka dancing each week. They had a great balance of doing things together and separately, which is probably why their marriage lasted almost 66 years.
Honesty. I am a person who would rather have my partner tell me they did something they know I wouldn’t like than try to hide it. I don’t like lying, and I can’t stand the disrespect of it. Some men would rather not know that their wives cheated on them. Some women would rather not know their husband watches porn. And that may work for them. I want to know. Then I have the decision to work it out or let it go. My Valentine and I have found that complete honesty works for us. Some of our closest friends are people that we’ve had relationships with in the past. But that’s it. It was in the past. We’ve all moved on, and we can appreciate the close friendships we now have with people who’ve known us forever.
Ex-partners. It is sad but many people are on their second or third marriages. On one hand, divorce is too easy and people don’t stay to work on the hard stuff and make it better. Needless to say, if you are with someone who has children from a previous relationship, then the parent of those children is going to be in your life forever. Hopefully, your partner and their ex are on good terms. Hopefully, they have found a way to parent together. Hopefully, they are on the same page with raising children. If not, things can be very difficult. I encourage you to have your partner sit down with their ex and try to compromise on how to split the holidays, the parenting, the birthdays, and the gatherings. I think it is wonderful when the two parents and their new partners and the children can all celebrate the occasion together. It’s not fair to the kids to have their parents in a competition. Put the child first. The child does not care who spends more money on them. They don’t care who buys them the most gifts. They want to be loved. They want to have quality time. They want their parents to be happy.
Respect. Relationships need to be based on respect. If you don’t have that it is very hard to move forward in a relationship. Respect your partner enough to tell them the truth. Respect them enough not to cheat on them. Respect them enough that you only want to see them without clothes on. Respect them enough to value their opinion. Respect them enough not keep score.
Keeping score. Many people start getting frustrated in relationships when one person feels they do more than the other. I think many stay-at-home moms or wives feel unappreciated and overwhelmed, especially if there are kids at home. The husband feels he has worked hard and just wants to come home and relax. Whereas the wife feels she has worked hard all day and would like some help. Try not to keep score. Think about the Golden Rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you start the laundry maybe your partner folds it. If you start the dishwasher maybe your partner puts it away. You are a team. Help each other out. If a lightbulb needs to be changed, change it. Don’t wait for the other person to do it. If the husband has to go off to work, pack him a lunch, some snacks, or a little note to let him know he is appreciated.
Let it Go. If you are absolutely miserable and there is no compromising to get back to happiness then maybe it’s time to let it go. Remember, you both are good people, just not good together. Hopefully, you can leave on good terms and if you have children together then hopefully you can find a way to peacefully and successfully co-parent. Life is too short not to be happy. If you can’t be happy together then maybe it is time to let go.
Relationships take work, commitment, honesty, and effort. Work on yourself first. Admit your faults. Then work on lifting up your partner. There are enough people in this world who will put you down. Work on making your relationship the best it can be. Work on making it a relationship that people look up to. Work on making it the happiest relationship you can have where both of your needs are being met. And don’t forget to check in with each from time to time and figure out how to make it better! And how to make it fun!
I saw this post on Facebook the other day and had to repost it on my blog. Sometimes I think we wait too long. We wait for someone to invite us to the party. We wait for someone to go with us to the concert. We wait for someone to make us happy. We need to stop waiting and make things happen for ourselves. Take the trip, go to the concert, explore the world alone, and create your own happiness.
Stop waiting. Travel solo, go to the concert alone, take yourself out to dinner, explore your own city. and stop waiting for other people to give you permission to do the things you want to do.
A few months ago, My Prince had a three-day layover in England. He asked if I wanted to come over. Of course, I am a Yes, Woman so I said yes and made my way from Cleveland to London. Then I had to make my way to Cambridge via the train which was harder than I thought. I was so glad people there spoke English but with their heavy British accents it was hard to understand!
My flight landed before he did, so I had a few hours to work out, relax, and freshen up. When he and his crew arrived, we headed out to see a bit of the town and have a drink at the Eagle Bar, an aviation bar for the Royal Air Force. We found a table even though it was pretty crowded with the college “kids.”
We found out soon enough that Cambridge (although a college town) was not a party town. The bars and restaurants closed early. We were kicked out around midnight and had to find a bite to eat as the guys were starving after their flight.
We found a delicious Mediterranean place called Gardenia and got a kabob. Along the way, we passed the Corpus Clock, which is a cricket that keeps time by clicking. So pretty. We went back to the hotel to eat and have another beverage. The hotel, called “Hotel Graduate” is one of the cutest hotels I have stayed in. It had a nice bar and a lounging area with a fireplace where guests could hang out. If you are in the Cambridge area you need to check it out.
The next day My Valentine and I took the train to London. We had tickets to Buckingham Palace and wanted to see all the touristy sights. We walked around without much direction but stumbled upon the places we were supposed to see including Big Ben, Parliament, Hyde Park, the Borough Market, and Dishoom, an amazing Indian place for dinner.
Outside our hotel was a boat that was turned into a bar called Tamesis Dock, which was really fun. They had live music so we had a drink and listened for a bit. That night Ohio State was playing so we had to get back to the hotel to watch the game. It was a late night game in the United States and even later in London. Needless to say, I fell asleep about halftime.
The next day, we walked and walked. Our goal was to find a good brunch place and the London Bridge. We did both. After a few pics of the bridge and the infamous telephone booths, we meandered back towards the hotel hitting a few stops on the way.
By the time we got back to Cambridge, it was dark. The English delicacy of fish and chips was not appealing to us so we decided on Thai for dinner. We then hit a few local pubs, including The Pickerel Inn (debated as one of the oldest pubs in Cambridge 1608), and called it a night.
The next day I was on the train back to London to catch my flight to the United States. I flew standby and there was a long list of standby passengers. Many of them had been bumped the day before. I didn’t think I was going to make it but somehow, they called my name and I was on! Thank God. I didn’t want to spend the night at the airport in London by myself.
I love exploring different countries and cultures. I love that we can go to other countries and not have to rent a car; we can take a train and get anywhere we need to be. I also love how clean the trains and cities are. We had a wonderful time in England. It is very pretty, and I love the old architecture. Walking by the river was amazing and all the bridges were beautiful. I definitely would like to go back and explore more.
I hope you are blessed with many gatherings of friends and family this holiday season. Any holiday is a good excuse to bring family together and be grateful for what we have. If you are celebrating today I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season and the happiest new year!
“Holidays–any holiday–are such a great opportunity to focus on bringing the family together.”
I saw this on social media the other day. I believe it is one hundred percent accurate. Many of us what for things to happen to be happy. We wait for the right time, the right place, or the right people. But what we need to learn is happiness depends on us. We are in control of our lives and our happiness. Let’s make it happen.
If you want to be happy, have zero expectations of others, take 100% responsibility for your life, and be grateful for what you have.
Today would have been my grandpa’s 99th birthday. It’s hard to believe he’s been gone eight years now. He lived a wonderful life of 90 years. He was a teacher, a coach, and a mentor. He coached golf, baseball, and basketball. He was the coach and athletic director for Alliance College, which was a small Polish college in Cambridge Springs, PA. He also coached many of my friends and me in middle school basketball and helped with our high school softball team.
Not only was my grandpa the patriarch of our family, he was a father figure to many of the players he coached. He had a coaching style similar to that of Bobby Knight of Indiana. He was all business. He had high expectations of all of his players. He expected us to perform well on and off the court. He pushed us to be the best players and students we could be. He. also expected us to follow the rules.
My Heart and I still keep in touch with some of his old players and since we live in the house where he and Sweet Gram lived for about 50 years, we get visitors from time to time. We love hearing stories of Grandpa. A lot of his players talk about how he was a huge influence on their lives. They talk about how Grandpa and Gram would invite them to dinner if they couldn’t go home for the holidays. They talk about how my grandparents encouraged them to stay in school and work hard on the court and in their academics. Some talk about how they saved their lives in one form or another.
I looked up to my grandparents as a child which turned into a deep respect as I grew into an adult. Maybe some of his techniques would be frowned upon today but he made a difference. I am lucky that I lived two blocks from my grandparents as a child and lived with Gram for five years as an adult. I believe everyone who knew them feels blessed to have been a part of their lives.
