family Archives - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

I saw this article about the secret to life through an email subscription I get for free called “1440” which is a daily newsletter. It is a great email with the day’s news with unbiased reporting which is rare to get these days. It takes five minutes to read and there are links if you’d like to continue reading further into some articles. Please check it out.

I didn’t know why it was called 1440 but after reading their introduction I found out they named it that because the printing press was invented around the year 1440, spreading knowledge to the masses and changing the course of history. Also, in every day, there are 1,440 minutes. Now we know.

Here is a snippet from the article. “Maria Branyas Morera, the world’s oldest known person, died at the age of 117 on August 19, 2024. Born on March 4, 1907, in San Francisco, she moved to Catalonia, Spain, at age 8. Morera witnessed major historical events, including two world wars and the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, and she became the oldest known survivor of COVID-19 at age 113. She was active on social media as “Super Àvia Catalana” (or Super Catalan Grandma), amassing nearly 19,000 followers.

There are approximately 722,000 centenarians—those aged 100 and older—globally, with 108,000 in the US. Supercentenarians—those aged 110 and older—are rare, with about 250-300 worldwide and roughly 60-70 known in the US. Morera credited her longevity to enjoying nature, good company, avoiding toxic people, luck, and genetics.

Some studies suggest the maximum human lifespan could be between 120 and 150 years. The oldest verified person to have ever lived died in 1997 at 122. The current oldest living person is now 116-year-old Tomiko Itooka from Japan.”

What an amazing life! To have lived through all of that is a beautiful accomplishment. Congratulations to Maria and her family!

Gram would have been 100 years old today! Unbelievable that we had someone in our family who was three and a half years away from making it to be a centenarian. I wish she would have been able to see the day. And I wish she would have told me her secret to life although after spending my entire life and five years living with her I have a pretty good guess at what her secret might have been.

Unlike many of us who are getting old, Gram seemed to be ageless. I feel like she looked the same at age 95 as she did when she was 62. Same white hair, same cute smile, same personality. She was ALWAYS smiling. She loved sitting outside with the sunshine on her face. She loved sitting in her recliner and looking out the window at the snow. She seemed to appreciate whatever it was that was thrown at her.

I remember Gram always dressing nice and doing her hair and putting rouge on her cheeks. She cared about what she looked like. But I don’t think she cared what other people thought of her if they had bad thoughts. She said what was on her mind (sometimes a little too loud!).

I do have to admit the last six months of her life we could see a decline. She was getting thinner and more frail. She was sleeping 16 hours a day. She was grumpier and the dementia seemed to have more of an impact on her. But all the same, she was my Gram and I loved her.

I love the advice Maria gives to us in the article. We need to enjoy nature and good company, avoid toxic people, have some luck, and hope for good genetics. I believe this is why Gram lived as long as he did. I believe Gram’s secret to life was her personality. She loved sitting outside, she didn’t put up with toxic people in her life, and she was happy and appreciative. She didn’t take much for granted. She was generous and concerned about the well-being of others. I admire her strength and her heart. She was my biggest inspiration. I mean who else would sit on a plant cart 🙂

Happy 100 years in Heaven, Gram! I hope you made a vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust (my favorite) and your delicious spaghetti and meatballs. Enjoy a beautiful family dinner with all of those up there filled with love, laughter, and memories. Until we meet again…

In Family

Power Songs

July 30, 2024 No Comments

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE music. My Rock and I rarely have the TV on but the first thing we do when we get home from the gym is turn on music. We both love it. I am unsure if he hears and feels the words as much as I do, but the lyrics mean so much to me. I’ve always had power songs for different stages of my life.

Maybe you don’t know what I mean by Power Song. To me, it’s any song that makes you feel good about yourself. A song that makes you happy! A song that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. One that makes you dream, one where you can quit your job, give that presentation, ask for that raise, or tell your significant other to hit the road.

When I was younger and dreaming of love, I listened to Janet Jackson and her albums Control and Janet. I felt like I could find a man where I could be a strong independent woman and he would love me for who I am and stand by my side. I remember my best friend and I waiting for the video to come out for her song “Again.” It was just as we pictured it.

How can I be strong?” I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again

In college, I listened to the double disk “Living in Clip” by Ani DiFranco. ALL of those songs are power songs. Her albums make me want to learn to play the guitar. Whenever I hear this album I immediately flash back to my college days. I made some of my best friends in college who are all powerful, independent, married women. These songs are more about being yourself and empowering you. Gravel is one of my absolute favorites!

And you’ve been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown, telling us both we are the one. And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you’re not going to stop me from having fun!

After college, I moved out to California. I had a 45-minute drive to work every morning. My power song on the drive was Hole’s Malibu. It takes me right back to my wonderful six months of living in California and all the exploring I did. The song and the place felt like summer to me and since I just left northwest PA in the snow in January, it was heaven.

Help me, pleaseBurn the sorrow from your eyesOh, come on be alive againDon’t lay down and die!

As most of you know I moved to Richmond, VA after that, and I was married in my twenties for three years. We separated then got back together. It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to leave. Divorce is a very difficult decision, especially for a Catholic girl, but once I made the decision a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much relief. During that time, I listened A LOT to Kelly Clarkson and her song “Since You Been Gone.” Sometimes in a marriage, it is hard to breathe. This song gave me the hope that I could leave and everything would be okay.

Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so movin’ on, yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone. You had your chance, you blew it.

Then I was single and dating, therefore, I spent a lot of time with my sister. We loved listening to “Cigarettes” by the Wreckers. While you shouldn’t smoke cigarettes 🙂 it’s about being a powerful woman and waiting for the perfect partner who knows your worth.

‘Cause someday maybe somebody will love me like I need and someday I won’t have to prove ’cause somebody will see all my worth. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.

If I was in a relationship that wasn’t going well or if I couldn’t see myself with that man forever, I would listen to Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry“. This song reminds me of my sister a lot. We would drive around in my convertible and sing it. It’s so good when you are ready to move on and get back to you and who you are.

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay, I hope you know, I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you, it’s personal, myself and I. We have some straightening out to do. And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I’ve got to get a move on with my life.

Sometimes you might just be having a bad day and sometimes you just need a power song. These are just a few examples of songs to turn on when you need to get out of a funk. As you know, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE song to sing and to perform is “Dreams” by Van Halen. This song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. Many of my friends are probably happy that it only makes me want to dance and sing about 95% of the time I hear it!

We’ll get higher and higherStraight up we’ll climbWe’ll get higher and higherLeave it all behind

Recently, Taylor Swift came out with a new album called The Tortured Poets Department. There are so many power songs on it. Some of you may not be T. Swift fans. (I know my niece is not.) But I think if you give the song , (Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me) a chance you may like it and you may feel empowered by it. To me, the song is about people putting you down and trying to stop you from achieving your goals. But you rise above it. You come out on top of everything. You take that doubt from those around you and you use it to empower you. You rise and show everyone what you are made of. It’s also just a fun song.

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your streetCrash the party like a record scratch as I scream“Who’s afraid of little old me?”You should be

If you don’t like any of my power songs, then please find a song of your own. P!nk has some great power songs as well. If you are getting divorced or recently divorced her song “So What” is amazing. Metallica’s One can also get you into an “I can do anything” kind of mood.

It doesn’t matter what genre you like. Whatever you are going through, just pick a song that picks you up. One that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Pick the perfect song for you! Life is too short, my friends, to stay in a funk or in a place that doesn’t bring you joy. Yes, it is hard as hell to take that “Leap of Faith” but it can be done!

Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

In Family

Blame Game

July 16, 2024 No Comments

Why do we find it so easy to blame others? We blame others for our unhappiness. We blame them for our broken hearts. We blame them for our empty bank accounts. We determine it must be someone else’s fault because it can’t be our own. It’s so easy to say they didn’t visit so I am sad. They didn’t call me to say I’m sorry, so now I am upset. They didn’t ask me to come to the party so they must not like me, so now I am disappointed.

Yes, it is very easy to blame others when things don’t go our way. But let’s stop and take responsibility for our actions. Let’s ask ourselves about our behavior. Why am I unhappy? Why is my bank account empty? Why don’t people want to be around me? Am I a person who brings light and happiness into the room? Or do I walk in with a dark cloud over me like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Let’s ask ourselves which type of person we are and if others want to be around that type of person. Everyone is dealing with their own personal demons. Let’s be a light for each other.

Depression is a very real disease, and I am not discounting those feelings. But steps can be taken. We can ask for help. We can try therapy. We can read uplifting books. We can search for helpful articles to change our Mindset. We can work hard to change our negative view into a positive one. I believe we can take steps to pull ourselves out of the darkness and into the light. I know it’s hard to see it when you are down but you have to push through.

When bad things happen we immediately want to find someone to blame. We are upset and mad and need someone to take it out on. When most of the time it is not anyone’s fault. It is a bad thing that happened and we cannot go back and undo that action. All we can do is control OUR reaction to it.

I understand how we react with our hearts and emotions instead of with a deep breath and logic. We fly off the handle and usually make the terrible situation worse. Life happens. And sometimes we need to try to remember that it really is no one’s fault. Accidents happen. I don’t believe that people mean for others to get hurt. But does blaming others help? The incident happened. The action has been done. There is no one to blame. Let’s try to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one. And let’s move on.

Many times we feel hurt because of what is going on inside of us. And many times we project things also because of what is going on inside of us. We need to fix ourselves first instead of blaming others.

When bad things happen let’s take a deep breath. Let’s think is this going to matter in five years? How much of an impact will it have on my life? Is it my situation to get involved in? If I were on the other side of the situation, how would I want that person to react? I think back to when I was single and dating, I would get so upset if a guy didn’t like me. I was crushed and thought I would never find someone. After an emotional breakdown, I had some amazing friends who would help me to think positively (Thank you LP, JW, and MA!). They would help me to see that we were two good people but not good together. They helped me see that God had a plan and that all these missteps would lead me to some bigger and better love. (And it took 10 years but it happened!) Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through bad situations. Sometimes we need some amazing friends who support us. And sometimes we need to let go of the hate and the blame.

Let’s ask ourselves if the hate we pour onto someone else is worth it. Do they deserve it? Is it really hurting them or are we just hurting ourselves with these pent-up negative emotions? If we let go of that person and the blame then can we feel better? Can we logically get past the situation? Can we learn to love this person or let them go? So many times a terrible situation can lead to something bigger and better. It is just very hard to see when we are in the middle of it. Let’s try to look forward and not backward.

It is hard. It is extremely hard not to react with emotion. But we need to try to take the situation and say the incident happened. Now what? How do I get through it? How do I make it better? Is there anything positive to see? Let’s stop the blame game and take responsibility for our actions and our situations. Let’s let go of the hate. I don’t believe it hurts anyone but ourselves.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

In Family

Disappointment

June 18, 2024 No Comments

Sometimes, life throws unexpected challenges our way which can lead to disappointment, and it is during those times that we truly discover who our real family and true friends are. It breaks my heart when I hear of or experience family members who have chosen to sever ties with their family over trivial matters especially when it is done with no explanation or communication.

Family is supposed to be the foundation of love, support, and understanding. We expect them to be there, through thick and thin, standing by our side no matter what. If we can’t depend on family who can we depend on? But when materialistic concerns take precedence over genuine connections, it leaves us feeling nothing but sad and empty.

We have all heard the stories of how families are torn apart especially after a family member dies and there is some type of disagreement over the will or the estate. I never thought that money could be the reason for such a loss, but I hear of more and more families being torn apart by materialistic things. It is unreal to me. My grandparents were so generous with the small amount of money they had. I remember my grandfather saying we can’t take it with us. Therefore, every birthday and holiday he gave monetary gifts to his children and grandchildren. And when my dad died, my mom gave my sister and me more money than she kept. What a generous gesture to give money when they didn’t have to.

I know misunderstandings can occur and that leads to frustration. If we would just pick up the phone and have a conversation I believe a lot of estrangements could be solved. But maybe I am naive. Maybe I believe there is good in every person. But maybe people don’t think like I do. Maybe people don’t see the good in others. Maybe they are only out for themselves and what they want. Maybe people don’t look out for one another. Maybe they don’t even realize how selfish they are being. And that makes me sad especially when it comes to family.

I believe that love and compassion are far more valuable than any material possession. It pains me to realize that some family members place a price tag on relationships, valuing their financial gain over the family bonds that were once cherished.

It’s disheartening to witness how easily relationships can crumble when faced with materialistic temptations, leaving us questioning the very essence of family. However, despite the pain and disappointment, we must remember that true family is not defined solely by blood ties. It extends beyond that, encompassing those who choose to be there for us, support us emotionally, and genuinely care about our well-being. That is why we have the best of friends.

In these moments, we must lean on the genuine bonds we have formed with those who have shown us unwavering support. Let us focus on the people who have proven their love and loyalty, rather than dwelling on the hurt caused by those who have chosen to prioritize superficial matters over family ties and who have decided not to have relationships with us.

Remember, disappointment may linger, but it does not define us. We are strong, resilient, and deserving of genuine connections. Let us surround ourselves with those who lift us up, appreciate us for who we are, and never let toxic relationships cloud our judgment.

Above all, let us learn from our experiences and those of others and strive to be the kind of family member who values love, compassion, communication, and empathy above all else. Together, we can break the cycle of disappointment and build a stronger, more supportive family network.

Photo by nrd on Unsplash

family

Secret to Life

Power Songs

Blame Game

Disappointment

Missing Gram

Letter to Gram