In May 2020, my husband and I were supposed to be in the British Virgin Islands on a weeklong sailing trip with friends.  We planned a wonderful vacation and it was to be a break from Gram and caregiving responsibilities. Of course, because of Covid-19, it was canceled. Therefore, we decided to take scuba diving lessons instead. Since the shop had limited hours, and the pool was closed to the public, the owner was willing to give us private lessons. We did a few class and pool sessions on our own, then, one morning we had no choice but to take Gram to the pool.

Although she did not scuba dive, she had a great time watching us go underwater. She told me that night she was going to learn to scuba dive 🙂  (I love her sense of adventure as I am not confident that she could even swim now!) She also said she saw something new, and she was excited about it. I love that at her age she is still learning and willing to experience everything life has to offer her. She is such an inspiration.

For our first open water dive, we made our way to Venice Beach, Florida with our instructor. We put our gear on at the truck and waded our way across the beach and into the warm Gulf.  It was a beautiful day, and we had a little break from Gram. We were excited and couldn’t wait to see what was underneath the surface!

As we descended, we realized the water was not very clear. We all held onto a line so we wouldn’t lose each other. That was our first lesson in realizing you never know what you will find underneath, so be prepared. We saw thousands of sand dollars, a lost anchor, snapper, various other fish, and conch shells. We did two 25-minute dives. Then we swam back to shore and helped each other out of the water. It was an amazing experience!! I was introduced to a whole new underwater world, which I had only seen on TV or while snorkeling.

For our second dive, we took our boat off the shore of Sanibel Island to Doc Kline reef. Our boat felt so small as we were 10 miles out in the Gulf. The waves seemed huge, and I was so nervous. I was very thankful we decided to take a break from Gram and not bring her with us on this trip. She would have been so scared.

We had to fall off the side of the boat to enter the water. I had practiced that part in the pool, but this was the first time doing it from the side of a boat. I was pretty nervous, but I did it. Check out this video. The visibility down below was much better than our first dive!! We dove down to about 36 feet. We did two 30-minute dives with a 30-minute break on the boat in between the dives. This time, we saw beautiful coral reefs, a lost fishing pole, a buried chest, schools of fish, and various sea creatures. I still need to work on relaxing and breathing calmly as my oxygen tank was almost empty after each dive. I also had trouble clearing my ears, which was pretty painful.  I came out of the water with a bloody nose, and later, I found out that my ear bled, too. I hope my scuba diving career is not over before it even begins.

When I first started taking care of Gram, someone told me in order to be a good caregiver, I had to take care of myself first. I know that in order to keep my marriage strong, I must learn to balance caregiving with being a wife and a partner to my husband. And I need to realize it is okay to take a break from Gram. It is okay for us to have time for ourselves. As you read in “Yes, WoMan“, I am a Yes girl, but as a caregiver saying yes isn’t as easy as it was before. Arrangements need to be made, details need to be considered, and decisions need to be weighed. Yes, it is worth it, but it is definitely more work.

As a caregiver (or a parent or a grandparent) just remember you need breaks. It is important to keep yourself happy and healthy as well as your relationship with your significant other. So don’t be afraid to give yourself a minute. Don’t be afraid to take a break.