life changes Archives - Page 15 of 17 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Gram’s House

August 31, 2021 4 Comments

As most of you know, I started taking care of Gram in 2016. Then she passed away on February 24, 2021, and life hasn’t been the same without her. Also, as most of you know, I met my husband, Jeff, along the way and became a snowbird. The three of us have been spending winters in Florida and summers at Gram’s House in Pennsylvania.

Over the past five years, we have done several updates to Gram’s House. When I first moved back in 2016, my mom reminded me that Grandma and Grandpa built their house in 1967. It’s a three-bedroom, two-bathroom ranch with a one-car garage. I have always loved Gram’s House and I love it, even more, knowing that they built it just the way they wanted it.

Once I moved in I thought some updates were definitely needed. The rug in Gram’s House was so old. I don’t know if I remembered it being any other color but blue. I told mom we should get a new carpet, and she said there were hardwood floors underneath. Not sure why my grandparents covered them up but I, along with my cousin, Pat, decided to uncover them! And wow, are they beautiful!

Over the past five years, we have done quite a few updates. The floors are all new, we updated the little bathroom, got a new roof, and finally took the wallpaper off the kitchen walls. We added a little backsplash and made it a little homier and less 1980’s. Gram enjoyed the changes although, at one point, I mentioned painting the kitchen cabinets gray and white, and she was not having it. Other than that, she was happy and she always said, this is your house. You and Jeff.

When she passed away we weren’t sure what to do with the house. The housing market in our area was booming, and the house was worth more than we could have ever imagined it would be worth. Even at her funeral, we had a few people interested in Gram’s House. One of our local churches wanted it for a pastoral home. My mom, Jeff, and I were excited about this offer. We knew if the family wasn’t going to be in the house that Gram and Gramps built then perhaps Gram and Gramps would want the church to have it. The church would maintain it and do all the upkeep on the place. Our biggest fear was that someone would move in and not appreciate Gram’s House. We believed the church would take care of it and it would continue to be a part of the community that meant so much to my grandparents.

Well, that deal didn’t happen, and we were at a loss. My mom recently moved to Virginia to be close with her grandchildren so she didn’t need another house. We didn’t need another house. We made the decision that we would clean out Gram’s House this summer and put a For Sale sign in the yard.

But then it happened. I drove across the back roads and down the hill and pulled into the driveway. I loved this house. Could I let it go? Did I want to let it go? Jeff and I loved coming to Pennsylvania for the summers. Where would we stay? My mom was coming up in a few days for my grandpa’s memorial golf tournament. We were going to clean things out and get Gram’s House ready to sell. But as we went through things it became more and more clear. I wasn’t ready.

After a few days of cleaning and reminiscing, I talked to my mom. I couldn’t let it go. Would she sell it to us? Would she want to keep it in the family? And much to my relief…she said Yes! I didn’t know if I was just being emotional or not. But I talked to my therapist (because I have one and believe everyone should talk to someone because mental health is just as important as physical health) and she said to consider the 4 Rs. Is the decision Reasonable, Rational, Realistic and what will you Regret less? So, in the end, I talked to my husband. Were we being emotional? Was it reasonable and rational? What would we regret less? Together, we decided we wanted to buy Gram’s House.

We love Gram’s house, the layout, the location, and the memories. We couldn’t let it go. My husband, mother, and I came up with a plan and everything was super easy. We went to First Choice Settlements and the closing took about 10 minutes. I am so proud and excited to say that the first BIG purchase Jeff and I made together was to buy Gram’s House. And even though it’s ours now, and we will probably make more changes, I don’t know if I will ever call it anything other than Gram’s House. And I hope that anyone who comes to our house feels the love, presence, and generosity that was instilled in Gram’s house by my grandparents.

In Family

Gramps

August 17, 2021 No Comments

I thought I would take a moment to celebrate my grandfather. We called him “Gramps”. So much of this blog has been about Gram and my adventures with her over the past five years that I feel bad that you haven’t gotten to know my Grandpa. He was the talker. He was the one with the huge personality. He was the generous and giving one. Gram and he were married just two weeks shy of 66 years! What a marriage and what a legacy they left on this world. Besides having two children, three grandchildren, and five great children, they left behind 30 years of college students who think of them as family.

Gramps was a member of the United States Navy for four years. My grandmother talked often of him being stationed in the Aleutian Islands and every time my husband would go to Alaska for work she would say that Grandpa was stationed there and asked if that’s where Jeff was going. Jeff does not go to the islands but maybe someday we can go. Gram said Gramps said it was beautiful, and she always wanted to go. Jeff often goes to Anchorage for work, but I have not had the chance to go yet. Hoping my day will come very soon.

Gramps was the social butterfly. Although they both knew all the college kids and took them in when they couldn’t go home for the holidays, he was the one who invited them over. Gram was the one who cooked and got the house ready. He was loud, and he was big compared to tiny, quiet Gram. He had a big old belly and always ate everyone’s leftovers. He always told the story of how they went to Eddie’s Footlongs one night. Usually, his children wouldn’t eat their whole dinner, and they would waste food and throw it away. So one night he decided not to order anything. And wouldn’t you know it, the kids ate every last bite!! Poor Gramps was left with nothing and clearly, he was upset about it because he told that story for years!

Gramps was the basketball coach at Alliance College for over 30 years. The athletes and other students at the college and in our town respected him and admired him. He demanded a lot of his players but many of them now say they would have not made it through college without my grandparents. They would have quit, given up, or flunked out. The pressure and support of my grandparents helped pull them through and now they are successful and many of them say they owe it all to my grandparents.

I loved having him as a Grandpa. We could go to the gym any time we wanted because he had the key. I loved it, but I loved being in the gym. It was so fun. We would play basketball, racquetball, jump on the trampoline, or work out in the weight room. As I got older, I would open the gym for my friends around town. Many of the local guys wanted to play basketball. My grandpa would let them in but only if they let me play with them. He always stressed the importance of free throws. I realized how important they were as I played with the guys from the town. I knew I had to make my free throws to be one of the first 10 players on the court. Then we had to win to keep playing. I feel like playing with the boys really helped me become a better player.

I remember Gramps wearing one of those plastic suits and running laps around the basketball court as we messed around in the gym. He was always trying to lose weight by doing activities but didn’t try too hard when it came to his diet. He loved his food. I tried several times to get him to try different nutrition plans to help him lose weight and help control his diabetes but nothing seemed to stick. He loved food way too much, and I didn’t know at that point how to explain that he needed to use food as fuel. The nutrition lifestyle that my husband and I follow now would have been very beneficial for him and his diabetes. But he ate what he wanted and did what he thought was right for him. As he got older and his body started to fall apart, he would say the same Polish phrase that Gram always did which is “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” according to them.

I miss Gramps so much. Like my husband, Gramps could hold a conversation with anyone about anything. He knew sports and everything about the teams and the players. Gramps was also one of the most giving and generous people I know. He was always trying to give things away, from food, to money, to Steelers tickets. I was young at the time so I may not remember it exactly but I swear one time Gramps gave a family his car because they needed it more than he did. He had season tickets to the Steelers games and most times he would just give the tickets away or sell them for less than face value. I think he believed in karma and that it would come back around.

All in all, I know I am biased but I believe I had the best Gram and Gramps there could ever be. They were a power couple. Everyone who knew them loved them, admired them, and respected them. I am so thankful that I got to spend over 40 years with them although I wish I could have known them when they were younger. I also wish my husband would have had the chance to meet Gramps, and Gramps Jeff. But whenever we get the chance to meet up with former Alliance College players and students, my husband gets to hear stories and gets a little glimpse of the amazing man that he was.

So Gramps, I miss you and love you. I know you and Gram are back to Polka dancing every Saturday night and I can’t wait to see you again. I will try to carry on your legacy here on Earth until that time comes.

In Family

All-Star

August 10, 2021 No Comments

In the spring, my husband and I decided to rent a house in Virginia for six weeks to spend time with my niece and nephew. A few weeks ago, I realized that we would be in town when my niece played in the all-star tournament. Last year, she tried out but didn’t make the team. This year, she worked really hard and was determined to make the all-star team. She went to camps to improve her skills and her hard work paid off. She made the team!

My husband and I went to the first all-star game. It was a beautiful day. A bit warm but that’s the way it is in Virginia in the summer. My brother-in-law was the coach and placed my niece at second base. I, for one, was super excited because I played second base throughout my softball career.

That first inning of the all-star game, I was so nervous. Even though he won’t admit it, I know my brother-in-law was nervous, too. I know he wanted the team and most importantly, my niece to do well. And boy, did she!

There she was my sweet, sweet girl. Her team was in the field first to play defense. The other team hit the ball pretty well and scored a run or two. Then my niece caught a ball at second base to make the first out and then she caught a line drive coming at her to make the third out. She made two of three outs that inning. I almost cried. I was so proud and so happy for her. She had told me the day before she was a little nervous and scared. I was hoping because she made those great plays, it gave her some confidence. I couldn’t have asked for more!

Then it was our turn to bat. My niece was the fifth batter. There were two outs, and I just kept praying for two-out lightning. And there she was! She hit a great line drive over the short stop’s head! Go MacAttack go!! She got a double and batted in a run. I was so proud of her. My little niece who can be a bit scared and shy was playing with such confidence and grace.

As the all-star game went on, I was more and more impressed with these little 8 and 9-year-old girls. They looked like they knew what they were doing. I was so so proud and impressed. Then I was a bit sad because it also means they are growing up! And growing up too fast!

When I got home it hit me. I started thinking how sad it was that my sister wasn’t there to see this little lady playing a sport that my sister loved as well. She would have been so proud of MacAttack, and she would have been the loudest one cheering for her. I know she was there in spirit and will be at all of my niece’s life events and future all-star games. And I know I can’t think of how awful and unfair it is that she isn’t here. It hurts my heart so much, but I know that I need to be present in the moment and not bring everyone down thinking how much I wish she was there.

I miss my sister so much, and I am beyond blessed to have two little pieces of her to hold onto and share. These little people give me so much joy and their kind hearts ring with my sister’s gentle spirit. So I need to thank God that he put me in the position to share these moments with them. I wish he could bring my sister back to all of us, but I guess that only happens in the movies and soap operas. Until then, little one, I love you and miss you so much, and I know you are so so proud of your little baby girl.

In Adventures with Gram

Celebration of Gram

June 15, 2021 No Comments

Many of our friends from Florida could not make it to Pennsylvania for Gram’s memorial service. Therefore, a few weeks ago, we held a poolside Celebration of Gram. Sitting by the pool became Gram’s favorite “activity”. As soon as she finished breakfast it was poolside where she wished to be. So what better place to honor Gram and her inspiring life.

We had a great turnout. All but one of our friends had met Gram before and had their picture taken with Gram either at our house, by the pool, on the boat, or at a restaurant. It made us realize how much of an impact she really had and how many people she met over the past five years.

As I was going through all the pictures trying to get ready for the celebration, it hit me how much we did with Gram. We took her everywhere. She met so many people and loved all of them. We laugh at thinking how most of her “friends” over her last 5 years of life were 40-50 years younger than her. It makes me happy that she had such adventures in her 90’s. She seemed to enjoy everything we did with her. At first, she didn’t really like flying but over the past five years, I think she came to enjoy it. My guess is that she flew more in her last 5 years than she did in her first 91 combined. Even with her dementia, she was happy. It makes me miss her so much.

Because I was always with her I didn’t notice how much she actually aged over the past year or two. Looking at the pictures and thinking back I remember her getting very sick in January and September of 2020. She fell three times last summer, one of which required 7 stitches on her forehead. She wasn’t doing much but sleeping on the couch, by the pool, and in her bed. Although she never complained, I am sure at 96 and a half, after all the running we made her do, her body was tired.

At the Celebration of Gram, our friends told stories of Gram. They remembered how sweet her smile was, how she loved sitting by the pool, how she loved Kuma the cat, and how she cheered for Jeff’s Ohio State Buckeyes. One friend remembered how Gram was really not happy one night when I made her stay at their house too long. It seemed Gram was always in the opposite room of where we were. She kept saying, “Stacy, let’s go. It’s time to go.” And she would give me that look. She never wanted to be a burden and this was her way of saying it. It was the one time our friends remember her being the least bit upset. Sweet Gram definitely could turn into a spitfire when she wanted to!

Anyway, the turnout was beautiful and Gram was sorely missed. She lived an amazing life. If you missed the Eulogy take a few minutes to watch it. It really celebrates Gram and her impact on this world. Love and miss you Gram!

In Family

Happy Birthday Babe

June 8, 2021 1 Comment

Today is my husband’s birthday. I think the words of the day really sum up his philosophy on life and birthdays. If you missed the quote it says,

“In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

We do our best to live life to the fullest. We understand life is short, and we know many opportunities don’t come around but once in a lifetime. We also know life is too short not to be happy.

We have been together for four birthdays. My husband always downplays his birthday but celebrates mine to the fullest. I did plan a wonderful celebration in Chicago for his big 5-0 but then, he did it again and pulled the spotlight away from himself by asking me to marry him at HIS party! This year, we will be celebrating him with many friends and family as we take a little road trip up and down the east coast. Today, we will be poolside with his favorite, margaritas and Key Lime Pie!

It’s still hard to believe that I found such an amazing guy. Together, we are a whirlwind of adventure, love, passion, and inspiration to each other. He just seems to enjoy himself. Being around him is comfortable and easy and his kindness is appreciated by all of those around him.

Today is a chance to say to him that I am proud to be your wife. I feel so fortunate and honored to have you not only as my husband but also as my best friend. You have brought joy, purpose, and laughter to my life. Being by your side has made me a better person. Thank you for all that you do and for always having my back. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Happy Happy Birthday my Prince.

In What We Eat

Asparagus

April 9, 2021 2 Comments

Ingredients

1 lb asparagus, ends trimmed
2 Tbsp olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 cup shredded Asiago cheese (or shredded cheese of your choice)
3 Tbsp dried bread crumbs or Panko
3 Tbsp minced fresh flat-leaf parsley
salt and pepper to taste

Stacy’s Suggestions and Preparation

I got this recipe from a recipe book we have called “Vegetable of the Day” by Kate McMillan. See link below. Her recipe calls for 1 cup of cheese and finely grated zest of 1 small lemon plus 1-2 Tbsp of fresh lemon juice. I did not use any lemon, and I only used 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese the first time I made it and 1/2 cup of an asiago cheese blend the second time I made it. Both were very good.

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Arrange the asparagus in a single layer in a baking dish (or baking sheet) and drizzle with 1 Tbsp of the oil. Toss the spears gently to coat.
In a bowl, whisk together the cheese, bread crumbs, and parsley. And lemon zest if you are adding it.
Season with salt and pepper.
Drizzle the remaining 1 Tbsp of oil and stir into the mixture.
Sprinkle the bread crumb mixture over the asparagus.
Bake, uncovered, until the asparagus is just tender and the topping is melted and golden brown. About 15 minutes.
Drizzle the asparagus with some lemon juice (if you want) and serve.
Enjoy!

In Travel Junkie

Ski Weeks

March 30, 2021 1 Comment

Skiing. You would think growing up in northwestern Pennsylvania, I would be a skier. But I played basketball and didn’t want to get hurt. Plus, I didn’t really care to be out in the cold for hours. Therefore, I skied a handful of times. Four years ago, my husband introduced me to his ski and snowboard club. Skiing is his passion. He’s been skiing since he was four years old, and he loves it. He also loves going to the snow and going back to warm, sunny Florida. (And now I do, too.)

Every month December through March there is an airline ski week. Most of the airlines race and earn points. I am not sure what the points get them because our ski and snowboard club does not race:) Many resorts give the airlines discounts on lodging and lift tickets. My husband started taking me three years ago. I wasn’t very good or comfortable on the mountain, but I wanted to learn. I wanted to see the beautiful views from mountaintops, and I wanted to be a part of the ski club.

Steamboat Springs

The first ski trip I went on was in Steamboat Springs, Colorado in December 2018. I didn’t have any confidence and really no ski skills. My husband’s friends insisted that he NOT teach me how to ski. So, one of the girls we were with took me to the bunny hill and started with the basics… how to stop, how to get on the lift, how to get out of my skies. She was an amazing instructor. We did some greens (beginner runs) and accidentally a blue (intermediate runs) or two, where I proceeded to yardsale down the mountain. For those of you who don’t ski, yardsale means my poles and skies went flying as I tumbled down the mountain. I enjoyed it though because I was warm, it was fun, and I didn’t get hurt. I especially liked apres ski (happy hour) and the theme party on Wednesday night.

Copper Mountain

The next year, the first airline ski week was at Copper Mountain in Colorado. My husband, against my will, persuaded me to take three ski lessons. This turned out to be very helpful and the instructor took us on greens and blues that we could handle. I started feeling a little better and more confident about skiing. On this trip, we couldn’t find anyone to stay with Gram so we could get a break from Gram therefore we took her with us. My husband and the two guys we stayed with would take turns checking on her while I was in my lesson. They would sit with her for a few minutes, hand her a banana or some Hershey Kisses, and then be back on the slopes. She was relatively steady and comfortable for a few hours on her own and the TV was on for her. She had a wonderful time. We took her into the village and to apres ski. She just laughed and smiled. I didn’t know that Copper was one of the highest mountains in Colorado and that many people get altitude sickness. Not Gram though, she hung right in there doing shot skis and all!

Park City

The next month, we did two days in Park City, Utah before heading to Steamboat Springs again. I love Park City. It is one of my favorite mountains. We skied Park City, the Canyons, and Deer Valley. I loved that the ski resorts were so close together. I absolutely loved Deer Valley. I felt pretty confident on the greens and blues there. After two days there, we went back to Steamboat. It was great to be back on the mountain where I originally learned. It was fun to do the blues and not yard sale down the mountain. I was starting to get the hang of it and really enjoy it.

Then Covid hit and I didn’t get to ski again that season.

In 2020, the ski weeks have been different. As you read in Missing Gram, we put her into senior living in November. Therefore, I was able to go to the first ski week. Usually, it is at Copper Mountain, but because of Covid, it got changed to Steamboat Springs. Since we were going there in January, our ski and snowboard team decided to do our own ski week and go to Park City, Utah. There were about 10 of us, and we have a friend that lives there so she hosted many of us. I was excited to go back to Deer Valley. I was also excited because my husband bought me the Ikon Pass. This is the only way to go if you are going to ski more than four or five times a year. We skied Snowbird, Solitude, and Deer Valley. Deer Valley is my all-time favorite thus far. The greens and blues are absolutely perfect for me. They even have double blues, which I love. Double blue means it’s a little more difficult than the blue but not as difficult as a Black Diamond. It was early in the season so a lot of the more difficult trails were closed so it was nice for all of us to ski together, and I didn’t feel like I was holding anyone back.

First Black Diamond

In January 2021, we decided to head out to Denver early before the airline ski week. We stayed with friends in Silverthorne, Colorado, and we were able to ski for a couple of hours at Copper Mountain. We parked the car at the bottom of a chair lift and got right on the mountain with our Ikon Passes. The hill to get back to the car was a Black Diamond (advanced runs). Our friend was confident I could make it down to the car but I was too nervous and didn’t chance it the first day. But on the second they sneakily took me down. I saw the sign but I told myself to relax and just go slow. I remember looking up at what I had just skied and couldn’t believe it. But once I was down, I was so excited to have skied a black diamond!! I really had no desire to do it, but it was fun and I didn’t fall! Thank you, friends, for pushing me.

Steamboat Springs Take II

We spent the next week in Steamboat Springs. I did a few more black diamonds, but by the end of the week, my legs were so tired. Therefore, I decided to play it safe and stay on the blues. It was a great week but very different. Usually, during ski weeks we have a meet and greet party on Mondays, team dinner on Tuesdays, a theme party on Wednesdays, and an awards dinner on Thursdays for anyone who races. This year, many teams stayed in their condos with the people they were comfortable with or did apres ski outside. There were no parties and only our team went to dinner. It was definitely a different experience, but fun all the same.

Deer Valley Take III

In March, the airlines usually hold an international ski and snowboard week. It bounces between North America and Europe. This year it got canceled because of Covid. Our team decided to have our own ski week in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Other airlines decided to join us so we had a group of about 24 people. My husband and I were going to meet in Denver and ride up with friends from Silverthorne. Well, we had to go to Plan B which entailed me flying to Denver, my girlfriend, Kelly, picking me up at the airport, and us driving eight hours to Park City, Utah. A huge snowstorm was coming and we didn’t want to take the chance of getting caught in it and not making our ski week. Plus, we didn’t really want to try driving in a snowstorm.

Kelly and I had the best time driving. We drove her husband’s truck which is a stick shift. I love driving sticks so I was super excited. We had great weather and Taylor Swift on the radio! It was a long day but we made it and stayed at a friend’s house, which was beautiful. It was extremely generous of them to let us stay, and we really appreciated it. The next day we did a little Workout and then went to Deer Valley to ski. She had never been there, and I had never skied without my husband so it was just the two of us and we had to pay extra attention to where we were and how to get back down the mountain. We had a great time!

The next day my husband flew into Salt Lake City and he and another pilot Ubered up to the house. We all got ready and met other friends on the mountain. We had another beautiful bluebird day at Deer Valley. One of our friends, Lisa, used to be a ski instructor so she gave me a few pointers on how to become a better, more confident skier, which I really appreciate.

Jackson Hole

The next day we drove 5 hours to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was so excited to see a new state and another beautiful mountain resort. The views you see on top of the mountain are breathtaking. Not everyone is willing to dress in cold gear, put on snow pants and skies, and go up the hill to see them. I, for one, am glad my husband pushed me to learn a new skill that enabled me to see such beautiful sights. I am beyond blessed.

Jackson Hole was a great little town. The four of us had lunch at the Million Dollar Cowboy Restaurant and then headed to the resort. We stayed on the mountain at the Alpenhof. Jackson Hole is a steeper mountain and up at the top, there are no greens. The first day our friend had us traversing across Black Diamonds. We were trying to find a blue but I was not ready for this and my whole body was shaking. I was deathly afraid I was going to slip and tumble all the way down the mountain. We eventually got to a spot where I took off my skies and turned around. I could not go any further. My beautiful husband turned around with me as well as another couple. We eventually found a blue and decided to ski there.

The week was wonderful. Great people, great skiers, great times. On St. Patrick’s Day, my husband and two friends, Sean and Lisa, surprised me with t-shirts that said “St. Gram’s Day”. Everyone in our group had the shirt on and unzipped to show bright green and Gram’s beautiful smiling face. It was the most amazing, thoughtful gift. Thank you wonderful friends for thinking of it and participating in it. Some of the skiers didn’t even know Gram but they heard such wonderful things about her that they were blessed to be a part of it. That night in town, several people asked who Gram was, and I shared my blog with them. I am hoping I now have followers in Wyoming!

So here I am on day 28 of skiing. I am learning to love the sport. I love the friends I have made and the people I have met by being a part of the ski club. I love being a woman in my 40’s and learning a new sport and being healthy and athletic enough to participate. So stay young, stay strong, be inspired, and just go for it!

In Adventures with Gram

Goodbye Gram

March 23, 2021 1 Comment

Tomorrow it will be one month since we lost Gram. Three weeks ago, we said goodbye Gram with a wonderful service. I am not sure you can say that funerals are beautiful or that dead bodies look good but it was a beautiful tribute to Gram and as always Gram looked stunning and so sweet in her casket. She was surrounded by blankets from friends, photos of her family, and of course, her rosary.

Although she didn’t have as many visitors as my grandfather did because of Covid and six added years, it was a wonderful turnout of support for our family. We were surrounded by many friends and family. One of her favorite couples, who called her mama, made the 10-hour drive from Tennessee to pay their respects. Gram would have been honored at the goodbye she received.

At the church service, a former student of Alliance College gave one of the most beautiful and amazing tributes I have ever heard. Click here to play the video. His words summed up Gram in a nutshell. Whoever met her felt the same way. Even the priest who never knew her did an amazing job. (Thank you Meghan D. for the videos and pictures). For the final hymn click here.

After the service, we went to the cemetery to lay her body to rest and to say goodbye Gram. It was a chilly day and the streets were ice-covered. We even had some snow flurries in the air, which she would have loved. Before we moved to Florida for the winters, one of Gram’s favorite pastimes was sitting in her chair and watching the snowfall.

Several people came to Venango Valley Inn and Golf Course for a memorial luncheon. The staff was fantastic and the food was amazing. The owners have known my grandparents for years, and we have all become very close. Every time I would take Gram to dinner at the restaurant she would say, “Where’s Kim?” and head straight for the kitchen. She would bust those doors open and sweet Kim would head over to give Gram a great big hug no matter what she was in the middle of doing. Her friendship and love for my grandparents are beyond words, and I cannot thank her enough for everything that Venango Valley has done for us.

We were surrounded by family, former students, colleagues, and friends. One of my oldest friends in life gave the perfect blessing for the food. I asked her to do this about three minutes before it was time. What an amazing friend to be able to come up with something so beautiful on the spot. I think Gram had that way about her to inspire beautiful words and actions in all of those around her.

It was hard to leave the luncheon because that meant it was over. There was nothing more to do but collect the flowers and picture frames from the funeral home. It was the final goodbye Gram. I didn’t want to do it.

Although I know in my head Gram had a long and absolutely wonderful life, it still hurts my heart that I won’t hear her laugh anymore, I won’t be able to put her in the car and take her to the nearest ice cream shop, I won’t get to hear her say “starość to nie radość” which she told means “it’s hell getting old”, which actually means “old age is not joy”, and I won’t hear her say “I look like death warmed over three times!”, her other famous words.

So I have to say goodbye gram to your earthly body, but I know you will visit by way of cardinals and in my dreams. I look forward to those signs from heaven. Please give everyone up there in heaven a great big hug for us. I know you are singing and dancing and having the most beautiful time. Keep an eye on your great-grandchildren for us. Hold them in your arms and make them feel your presence every day. Love and miss you. Goodbye Gram.

In Adventures with Gram

Losing Gram

March 2, 2021 No Comments

Last Wednesday we got the call that we had been anticipating, but never wanted to answer. Gram was unresponsive at 4:40 that morning. We had just made arrangements to bring her back to our home. She hadn’t been eating, drinking, or really talking for about a week. On Tuesday, we had decided to bring her home in Hospice care to live out her final days by the pool, her favorite spot. As you read in Missing Gram, we put her into Senior Living in November 2020.

The hospital bed was in place waiting for her, but I guess she didn’t want to be a burden. She always said that to us, which of course we never thought she was. I guess she didn’t want to put us through having to watch her go. When we left Tuesday, I hugged her so tight. I told her we were bringing her home. I told her she could come to sit by the pool and sleep with Kuma, her favorite feline. But I guess she wanted it another way.

It hurts my heart so much that she is gone. I knew the day would come, but over the past few years, she has defied death so many times that we thought she would live forever! This woman…so strong, so mighty, so inspiring. She is in heaven now dancing the polka with her hubby (and possibly giving him a piece of her mind ) It won’t be the same. We are sad about our loss, but we are excited for her reunion with her husband, son, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Gram, please tell them we love and miss them.

I am grateful that the road I took led me to caregiving for Gram. It led me to my husband, wonderful friends, and amazing adventures. I will never regret one moment with her. She told me once I was like the sister she never had, and she was my best friend, always there to listen (whether she wanted to or not).

Although she is gone and I won’t have any new adventures with her, I plan on continuing to write about our past outings. Even though she isn’t on this earth anymore she will forever be in my heart inspiring me and pushing me to do the right thing and live life to the fullest.

Viewing and the funeral will be in Pennsylvania on March 5 and 6. Click here for details. We will also do a celebration of life in Fort Myers, Florida in April.

In Adventures with Gram

Missing Gram

February 16, 2021 7 Comments

It’s been about three months since we decided to put Gram into Senior Living. We tried to get extra help for her in our home but the lady quit after four days 🙁 She said it was too hard physically. Hmm…not sure that walking a few steps from the bedroom to the kitchen to the pool at a snail’s pace is all that tough but….whatever… it didn’t work out. So here I am three months later missing Gram.

After lots of discussions, pros, cons, tears and a few falls we determined that senior living was the best place for Gram. Jeff and I loved taking care of Gram, and we loved having her in our home. I definitely got more frustrated at times than he did but he also got more breaks from Gram than I did. Needless to say, after caring for Gram for just about five years, I was burned out and exhausted. I couldn’t keep an eye on her every minute she was awake, and I felt like I wasn’t being a good caregiver or granddaughter. We couldn’t go to the store without taking her or getting someone to stay with her. She fell a few times over the past year and even once when I was right across the pool. We didn’t want to take the chance that she would fall, get hurt, or break her hip again.

We found a wonderful facility and together with my mom, we wrote Gram a note about why we felt she would be safer there. She read, smiled, and agreed. The next day she hopped right out of bed, ate breakfast, asked my mom if we would be ok without her money, and asked questions about her new “apartment”. We were in shock. I took her to get her nails and hair done, and we took her to her new place. When it was time for us to leave she was sitting with some ladies, drinking a milkshake, and smiling a big smile. It made my heart happy even though I knew I would be missing Gram.

We were sad that she didn’t seem to care that we were leaving, but we had hope in our hearts that she would adjust well and possibly fall in love with her new home and her new friends. The house felt differently without her, and we kept looking over our shoulders to see what she was doing. We were definitely missing Gram.

Three months later, she has adjusted pretty well, but she still asks to come home. She still asks where she is. Because of her dementia, she doesn’t realize this is her new permanent place. She still has hope that she is coming home. The beautiful thing about putting her in a facility in Fort Myers is that we can visit as often as we want. We can take her out to lunch if we want as well. We also were so blessed to be able to take her to Virginia for Christmas. Although she was very confused about where we were going the first day, she enjoyed being with the family for the holidays. She also enjoyed helping us make pierogies. It broke my heart to put her back in at the end of our trip but the next day she seemed ok.

Things seemed to be heading in a positive direction. She was walking better than she did in our home so we were very happy about that. She seemed to be maintaining her weight. She was socializing with the other ladies more often. I took her out for lunch once and out for ice cream another time. I was trying to show her that she could come and go. We started talking about places we could take her and getting excited about having more adventures with Gram, especially since she was soon going to be vaccinated against the Covid virus.

Then it happened. Last Wednesday, she got her second Covid vaccine shot. Personally, I think Gram is so strong that she would have fought off the Covid without it, but you never know. Well, that evening, she tried to stand up, got dizzy, and lost her balance. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the vaccine or not. But she fell, hit her head on a side table, tore her skin on her elbow, and landed on her right hip (the hip she broke in 2016). Thankfully, we were in town, and I was able to meet her at the Emergency Room. She was so scared and in so much pain. The emergency room nurses were wonderful. They got her head cleaned up and thankfully she didn’t need any stitches. They did the x-rays and yep, her right femur is broken again. Because she already had a replacement, the doctor said there was nothing they could do. He recommended lots of pain meds and to keep her moving as much as she can tolerate.

So here we are six days later, and I am missing Gram. I am missing the Gram I had who made me laugh, who made me a better person, who told me to take care of my husband, who in her nineties had so many adventures, and who was so cute you couldn’t stand it. I am missing Gram because right now she can’t walk (although she is able to sit in her wheelchair relatively comfortably). I am missing Gram because she isn’t talking to me, and she can’t move her right hand. I am missing Gram because she is not eating and not taking her medications consistently. She has been such an inspiration and positive influence on me. She has shown me how to be strong. How to love wholeheartedly. How to laugh. How to enjoy life. How to support your family. How to keep traditions alive. I am not sure what the next few weeks will bring for us. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. If you are in the Fort Myers area and would like to visit Gram or if you would like to send her a card, contact me for the information.