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Mindset by definition: is a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about mindset and how it can impact our lives. I feel like two people can look at the same situation and have two completely different thoughts about it. Some look up at a beautiful blue sky and only see the sun while the person standing right beside them sees the one cloud in the sky and can only worry about when it is going to rain. It is very intriguing. I believe it comes down to our state of mind and how we view the events in our lives.

Depending on the circumstances thrown at us and the lessons we’ve learned, we have different ways of viewing and reacting to life’s circumstances. I think many times, we as humans, tend to lean towards the negative. Our brains seem to remember the bad times more than the good times. Why do we do that? According to the article below, psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. It’s easier to see and remember the negative because it has more of an impact on us. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort to stay positive.

My husband says it all the time… life is about making choices (and living with the consequences of those choices). We are thrown into many circumstances in life. We have hundreds of choices to make every day. Are we washing our hair? Going to the gym? Drinking beer? Smoking cigarettes? Using sugar in our coffee or almond milk? Are we trying to eat healthy or stopping at the fast food restaurant? These are all choices, and they all have consequences that go with them. If you decide to eat out at a fast food restaurant every day for lunch and you get a double cheeseburger and fries then most likely you are going to gain weight and health problems may occur. On the flip side, if you have an important test coming up and you study and understand the material, the consequence is likely a good grade. This is your choice, and we are all free to make them. So what is your mindset? What are your goals? What do you want out of life? And are you happy with the choices you are making?

A positive mindset isn’t just for those day-to-day decisions. It also determines how we will react to those bigger life circumstances. Remember, we cannot control the circumstances around us (the event) but we can control our REACTIONS to the situations. We may lose a loved one. We may get laid off from a job. We may have our car broken into. The question is how do we react to these situations? What is our mindset?

If we have a negative mindset then we can get down, be depressed, blame others, and not take responsibility for our own lives. Yes, it’s ok to be sad sometimes. But we need to pick ourselves up. If we lose our job we can blame our employer, our family, or the economy. We can believe it is the worst thing that ever happened to us. We can sit at home and sulk about how terrible life is. OR we can take responsibility, change our mindset, and we can say wow this is a wonderful opportunity to go back to school, learn a new skill, or start our own business.

Having a positive mindset can be challenging. Sometimes it takes therapy. Maybe it takes good friends to help you realize life is not all bad. It definitely takes a conscious effort and hard work. The thing we need to realize is we cannot blame others for our situations, and we cannot compare our lives to others. Every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, death, disappointment, and sadness. And every single one of us has a different reaction to those experiences. Some of us have done the work and are striving for the silver lining. We cannot blame them. It does not mean they haven’t forgotten or that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It just means they are consciously reframing the negative thoughts in their head and striving for positive outcomes. We need to look within ourselves and see if we are stuck in a negative mindset. Then we need to decide what WE can do individually to help ourselves.

Just because “bad” things happen, doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. It just means there a different road is ahead and now we have a choice. Are we going to be strong and recover from the setback or are we going to continue letting circumstances control us? If we believe our life sucks then it will. If we see the world in a negative way we need to try to turn our thinking around as this helpful article suggests. Remember:

“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”

— Hal Elrod

Our mindset is the most critical piece of the puzzle. How we view our life and its’ circumstances is under our control. Believing in ourselves and trying to find the silver lining is well within us. We just need to do the work and change the way we see things.

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I learned as a caregiver that even though your loved one needs you, you need to take care of yourself, your needs, and your happiness first. Then you will be able to shine brightly for your loved one. We need to learn our internal selves are what we need to prioritize. Everything else after that will fall into place.

 “If you make your internal life a priority, then everything else you need on the outside will be given to you and it will be extremely clear what the next step is.”


— Gabrielle Bernstein

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I try to write inspiring and uplifting posts, but sometimes I need to write about the sad stuff. Life is too short to hold grudges, be mad, sad, or down on yourself. But sometimes you can get in a funk and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out of it. That’s why it’s important to have a sound support system. Sometimes you need some positive reinforcement from your friends or family.

family at the wedding

It’s hard to be positive especially when you’ve been hit with tragic events over and over. Losing a loved one, losing your job, losing your partner to divorce or separation, becoming distant from your family, or not hearing from your best friend can be huge downers. These are life circumstances. They are sad, and no one ever said it would be easy.

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Yes, we can get down on ourselves. We can feel left out. We can feel depressed or pissed off. And yes, sometimes you need to sit in your private space, be sad, and have a good cry. Let it all out. Scream. Shout. Tell the world it’s not fair. Tell God you are upset. But then you need to pull yourself together and search deep within your soul. What has got you down? What has caused the feelings inside of you? Remember, we can only control our reactions to the circumstances that are thrown at us.

Over the years, I have lost several of my family members. I could be down and mad at the world. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I wonder why our family? Why did my sister have to go? Why isn’t my dad here with us anymore? And that’s okay. I am allowed to be sad sometimes. But I have to realize I cannot control their death. I cannot bring them back. I can only control how I react to the situation. I can only learn from their death that life is so very short and that one day I will reconnect with them. Until then why shouldn’t I try to be positive and spread kindness in this world? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the days I have left on this Earth? Why shouldn’t I try to experience all this world has to offer?

dad and sis

And maybe my circumstances are different than others. I don’t have to work full-time or stay in one place for an extended period. And for me, that is what I enjoy. I love living the gypsy life! Even if you have a job or need to stay in one place you can make it an adventure. Treat your city as if you are a tourist. What can you explore on your days off? Can you rent a bike and take a ride? Can you take a Sunday drive and head out into the country or to a park to enjoy the peacefulness? There are ways to make the world around you a wonderful place. You just need to start with you. What do you enjoy?

Remember, you have to do what makes you happy and what you have control over. Waiting for your best friend to call isn’t something you can control. You need to reach out or you need to move on. You cannot control your best friend. Waiting for the man of your dreams to show up on your doorstep isn’t going to happen either. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. It’s scary and intimidating, but taking that first step is the hardest. But I promise it will be worth it!

It is also important to have friends that inspire you. It is important to have friends that are there for you through the good and bad times. It is important to have a friend you can call when you are down. Hopefully, your friends can pick you up when you are sad. Sometimes friends can be more understanding and supportive than your family. That’s why it’s important to choose friends who lift you up. My Prince and I are blessed with the best of friends.

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In the end, it is okay to be sad sometimes, but please don’t let that sadness ruin your life. Life is too short, my friends. Turn your circumstances around. Find a powerful, uplifting song! Find a better, happier place for you within you. Take control of your life and make it the best life it can be! Take the Leap of Faith and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do!

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Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Some people choose to live life muddled, scared, and defeated. Life does not have to be that way. Life is messy but YOU have a choice of how you want to live. Don’t let life beat you down. Stand up and live it your way.

“You make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You draw your own box.”

Duchess Meghan

Photo by Andrey Trush on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I believe the theme of this blog is that life is short. Choose to live a life full of adventure and fun! Have some great stories for your grandchildren when they are sitting in your lap in that rocking chair.

“Be courageous. Challenge orthodoxy. Stand up for what you believe in. When you are in your rocking chair talking to your grandchildren many years from now, be sure you have a good story to tell.”

Amal Clooney

Photo by Ian Noble on Unsplashandpma

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I love this quote. Life is short. Don’t live by someone else’s expectations. Live your life the way you want to. There are no limits except the time we have here on Earth. Start Living!

 “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.”

– Steve Jobs

Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

Today is my little sister’s birthday. She would have been 44 years old. Happy heavenly birthday, little one. It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years, and we haven’t been able to celebrate your birthday together. I know you are here with us everyday (and my session with Medium helped me realize that even more), but it still hurts that I can’t call you up on the phone and hear your voice.

little one with cake

This is a hard day for everyone that knew you, but I know we should celebrate the years we had with you. We need to look back on the memories and cherish all the laughs that we shared. You brightened up a room and our hearts every day.

I know this will be a hard day for my mom. I hope she has a good cry and then goes out doing something she loves to celebrate her giving birth day. She misses you so much. Maybe you can send her an extra sign from Heaven today to let her know how magical it is up there and that you are okay.

mom and sister at steelers game

Birthdays can be exciting, but they also can be hard. As a little kid you can’t wait to get older! Then as an adult you keep wishing you were younger. (Or at least feel younger!) I feel like sometimes people are reluctant to tell you how old they are especially as that number gets higher. Why? Why should we be embarrassed as to how old we are? Why should we be reluctant to say a number of how many times we’ve been around the sun? My message to you is be loud and be proud of that number because there are some people who never get to celebrate that day.

My dear sister, we love you more than you will know and miss you twice as much. Life on Earth is hard without you but as you know we can’t quit living because of you dying. We know you’d love to be here with us but your calling came early and you were needed in Heaven. I know the best way to honor you is to live our lives with happiness, with grace, and with kindness. The best way to honor you is to let our hearts shine as yours did.

Love and miss you, little one, happy birthday!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Happy Birthday, America! Today, we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain. Our forefathers fought for our freedoms and today we recognize our lucky we are to live in the United States of America.

Most of us will celebrate by having the day off of work. We will eat hamburgers and hot dogs because that’s the American way. We will probably have a beer or two to celebrate the day off and the freedom we have to have a beer anytime we want to.

For the past two years, my Prince and I celebrated July 4th with friends on Lake Anna in Virginia. They have a wonderful fireworks display every year, and we were blessed enough to be out on a boat looking up at these amazing lights.

independence day flag and fireworks

This year we also spent the holiday weekend on the water. Our friends took us out on their boat Saturday and out on jet skies on Sunday. This time we were in the great state of Wisconsin. We got to experience the water of Green Bay and saw the vastness of Lake Michigan. It is amazing how big the Great Lakes are.

independence day jet ski

The shoreline around Green Bay was amazing. It was full of rocks, limestone, cliffs and beautiful houses. My Rock and I had a great time on the water. I had not been on water skies in over 30 years, but I was able to pop right up! It makes me appreciate our lifestyle. We try to eat well and stay in shape (make sure you check out my recipes and workouts) so that we can do these activities even if we only get the opportunity once every few years!

Overall, our time in Green Bay was pretty amazing. We saw some great sunsets, had some good laughs, and spent some quality time with friends. We saw Egg Harbor, Door County, Fish Creek, as well as other stops along the way. Thank you friends for the wonderful weekend!

sunset in wisconsin

If you haven’t heard, last Thursday we started our trek out west where we will spend some time in Park City, Utah. We spent Thursday night in Chicago and then the weekend in Green Bay. Yesterday, we drove to Lincoln, Nebraska where we saw fireworks going off all along the water. The displays went on forever. Today, we will continue our drive and celebrate our independence somewhere in Wyoming. Hopefully we can find a wonderful fireworks display tonight.

Nebraska state sign

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday! Celebrate and appreciate the independence that we have.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

This week my niece will be graduating from fifth grade. It is so hard to believe. It seems like just last week she was born and yesterday she was starting kindergarten. But here we are six years of school already completed and the first graduation is upon us.

sister's graduationMy sister and I grew up in a town where we went to elementary school from Kindergarten through sixth grade. Then middle school and high school were in the same building. Therefore, you graduated from sixth grade and twelfth grade. That was it. Only two graduations.

It makes me sad that my sister isn’t here to watch her baby walk down her first aisle of many. It makes me sad that she won’t be there to hug her princess and tell her how proud she is of her. So I thought I would try to let my niece know how much she is loved. I was able to go to Virginia last week, and I spent some time with my niece having lunch and giving her a few graduation gifts.

If you know me, you know I enjoy taking pictures and then making books and calendars. I use Snapfish and have for years. I love the company and the products. I make the kids a book of memories every year for their birthdays. And every year for Christmas I make the members of our families a calendar to hang on their wall. Therefore, I thought it would be a fun idea to make my niece a book of her first 10 years of memories for her graduation.

In this book, I also included some younger pictures of my sister and myself. I wanted my niece to see how cute we were 🙂 when we were younger and how fun the clothing and hair styles were! It was fun yet sad to look back on all the pictures of my sis and me. Man, did it make me miss her.

us as kids

I do hope my niece cherishes the book. She may not understand all that it means. Right now she wants to be a kid who plays softball, who swims, who smiles, who dances and who doesn’t necessarily want to think about missing her mom. Maybe she just wants to be a kid who is normal. And I am proud of her for being that kid. But as she gets older I hope she realizes how special her mother was. And I hope she will look back on the memories that are shared with her, and she will smile and treasure all that there are.

Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy