We got to Florida about a month ago. Jeff only had a few hours but I was planning on staying for the week. We wanted to go down and do some yard work and get a head start on the “post summer” cleanup. And, of course I was planning on writing and laying by the pool. Well, as we have learned and as all we all know “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” (by Robert Burns).

…so instead of having a few hours to relax and enjoy our Florida home we ended up spending the next three days busting our ass cleaning.

Why you say? Well, A Dead Duck I say!!?? Yep. A Dead Freaking Duck. We have no idea how it got into our house or how long it had been there. Our best guess is it came through the chimney flu. Our friends say animals can only live 24-48 hours without food or water. So, it appears he was probably in the house a couple of days. He did some damage in the hours he was alive. He searched for a way out as we observed by the marks against the sliding glass doors. He definitely wasn’t happy that he was trapped. He knocked over a few things and relieved himself on our beautiful white couch.

It makes me sick to think about it. In 2022, we came home to a hurricane-flooded garage and entryway. Everyone helped each other in the neighborhood. We had the best of friends help us, and we were able to help our neighbors whose houses were flooded three times as much as ours was. I was so grateful that our damage was contained to the garage.

Even though this dead duck made a mess of the house, I was thankful that he didn’t ruin everything in our game room, knock over lamps, or break a window. It also made me appreciate My Rock even more. Even though he only had about six hours to help me, he was calm. He said let’s concentrate on the master bedroom and the kitchen. You need to eat and you need to sleep.

Therefore, we got to work. We called Terminix to see if they would get the dead duck but they said their next appointment was on Thursday! Thursday?? That was four days away!! Are you kidding me? What in the world is your service for? Anyway, My Valentine saved the day  by scooping up the duck and tossing him in to the trash. Thank goodness it was trash day. We started with spots on the floor and worked on mopping it together. Then disinfecting the counters and washing anything we could take off beds, couches, etc. We used bleach, vinegar, and the hottest of water. Even if there were not spots we scrubbed it anyway.

I searched for how to clean and disinfect the house. I didn’t want to ruin our couches so we called our homeowners insurance to see if there was anything they could do. We also had a warranty on one of our couches so we submitted paperwork.

After six hours of cleaning, I had to take Jeff to the airport. There was a huge storm so we sat in the car for a few minutes until it subsided. He hated leaving me with the mess of that dead duck but he knew I would handle it as best I could.

I continued cleaning a bit when I got home and then I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about was another animal somehow getting into our home. I felt disgusting and wondered how toxic having a duck in your house could be. I learned that people keep birds as pets and even let them run free all over the house. They gave great advice on cleaning up after them and it gave me some relief that maybe the house wasn’t completely ruined by this random bird. The next day I had our very good friends come over and close the chimney flu. A word to the wise, CLOSE THAT THING whenever you are not having a fire!!

Everyone was very efficient. Insurance adjusters and rug cleaners came the next day. I continued cleaning and disinfecting. I worked nonstop for the next three days. Once I had the inside in a good spot I worked on the outside. During Hurricane Debby in August of 2024, we had about two inches of flooding in our garage. So, I wanted to get it swept out and make sure things were dried out. It rained on my car so I wanted to get it washed as well. And lastly, the weeds and ivy were out of control so I needed to do some yardwork, too.

Needless to say, by Friday evening I was exhausted and sore. I went to a friends’ house to rehash the insanity of the week and to drink a few old fashions. The next day I boarded a flight to Denver. I couldn’t wait for a week of hanging out with friends and my husband. I was so ready to have all the fun and try to forget about that dead duck.

My takeaways after this experience are:

1. Close the chimney flu

2. Be grateful for what you have.

3. Nothing is as terrible as it seems.

4. Be calm.

5. Make a plan.

6. Help each other out.

Furthermore, I Googled what a dead duck means and it said it’s a sign to move on and let go of the past. I am taking this as just that. Be grateful for what I have and look forward to the future. I don’t need to live up to my ideals of the past or anyone else’s ideas about me. I need to have a purpose in life and my purpose is writing to you. I need to experience life and I experience life by traveling. I need meaningful opportunities and I do that by volunteering for Valerie’s House and playing in a ladies’ golf league. Remember, folks, when life throws you lemons make lemonade! (and maybe mix it with vodka).

Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash