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Power Songs

July 30, 2024 No Comments

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE music. My Rock and I rarely have the TV on but the first thing we do when we get home from the gym is turn on music. We both love it. I am unsure if he hears and feels the words as much as I do, but the lyrics mean so much to me. I’ve always had power songs for different stages of my life.

Maybe you don’t know what I mean by Power Song. To me, it’s any song that makes you feel good about yourself. A song that makes you happy! A song that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. One that makes you dream, one where you can quit your job, give that presentation, ask for that raise, or tell your significant other to hit the road.

When I was younger and dreaming of love, I listened to Janet Jackson and her albums Control and Janet. I felt like I could find a man where I could be a strong independent woman and he would love me for who I am and stand by my side. I remember my best friend and I waiting for the video to come out for her song “Again.” It was just as we pictured it.

How can I be strong?” I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again

In college, I listened to the double disk “Living in Clip” by Ani DiFranco. ALL of those songs are power songs. Her albums make me want to learn to play the guitar. Whenever I hear this album I immediately flash back to my college days. I made some of my best friends in college who are all powerful, independent, married women. These songs are more about being yourself and empowering you. Gravel is one of my absolute favorites!

And you’ve been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown, telling us both we are the one. And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you’re not going to stop me from having fun!

After college, I moved out to California. I had a 45-minute drive to work every morning. My power song on the drive was Hole’s Malibu. It takes me right back to my wonderful six months of living in California and all the exploring I did. The song and the place felt like summer to me and since I just left northwest PA in the snow in January, it was heaven.

Help me, pleaseBurn the sorrow from your eyesOh, come on be alive againDon’t lay down and die!

As most of you know I moved to Richmond, VA after that, and I was married in my twenties for three years. We separated then got back together. It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to leave. Divorce is a very difficult decision, especially for a Catholic girl, but once I made the decision a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much relief. During that time, I listened A LOT to Kelly Clarkson and her song “Since You Been Gone.” Sometimes in a marriage, it is hard to breathe. This song gave me the hope that I could leave and everything would be okay.

Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so movin’ on, yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone. You had your chance, you blew it.

Then I was single and dating, therefore, I spent a lot of time with my sister. We loved listening to “Cigarettes” by the Wreckers. While you shouldn’t smoke cigarettes 🙂 it’s about being a powerful woman and waiting for the perfect partner who knows your worth.

‘Cause someday maybe somebody will love me like I need and someday I won’t have to prove ’cause somebody will see all my worth. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.

If I was in a relationship that wasn’t going well or if I couldn’t see myself with that man forever, I would listen to Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry“. This song reminds me of my sister a lot. We would drive around in my convertible and sing it. It’s so good when you are ready to move on and get back to you and who you are.

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay, I hope you know, I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you, it’s personal, myself and I. We have some straightening out to do. And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I’ve got to get a move on with my life.

Sometimes you might just be having a bad day and sometimes you just need a power song. These are just a few examples of songs to turn on when you need to get out of a funk. As you know, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE song to sing and to perform is “Dreams” by Van Halen. This song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. Many of my friends are probably happy that it only makes me want to dance and sing about 95% of the time I hear it!

We’ll get higher and higherStraight up we’ll climbWe’ll get higher and higherLeave it all behind

Recently, Taylor Swift came out with a new album called The Tortured Poets Department. There are so many power songs on it. Some of you may not be T. Swift fans. (I know my niece is not.) But I think if you give the song , (Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me) a chance you may like it and you may feel empowered by it. To me, the song is about people putting you down and trying to stop you from achieving your goals. But you rise above it. You come out on top of everything. You take that doubt from those around you and you use it to empower you. You rise and show everyone what you are made of. It’s also just a fun song.

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your streetCrash the party like a record scratch as I scream“Who’s afraid of little old me?”You should be

If you don’t like any of my power songs, then please find a song of your own. P!nk has some great power songs as well. If you are getting divorced or recently divorced her song “So What” is amazing. Metallica’s One can also get you into an “I can do anything” kind of mood.

It doesn’t matter what genre you like. Whatever you are going through, just pick a song that picks you up. One that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Pick the perfect song for you! Life is too short, my friends, to stay in a funk or in a place that doesn’t bring you joy. Yes, it is hard as hell to take that “Leap of Faith” but it can be done!

Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

In Family

Blame Game

July 16, 2024 No Comments

Why do we find it so easy to blame others? We blame others for our unhappiness. We blame them for our broken hearts. We blame them for our empty bank accounts. We determine it must be someone else’s fault because it can’t be our own. It’s so easy to say they didn’t visit so I am sad. They didn’t call me to say I’m sorry, so now I am upset. They didn’t ask me to come to the party so they must not like me, so now I am disappointed.

Yes, it is very easy to blame others when things don’t go our way. But let’s stop and take responsibility for our actions. Let’s ask ourselves about our behavior. Why am I unhappy? Why is my bank account empty? Why don’t people want to be around me? Am I a person who brings light and happiness into the room? Or do I walk in with a dark cloud over me like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Let’s ask ourselves which type of person we are and if others want to be around that type of person. Everyone is dealing with their own personal demons. Let’s be a light for each other.

Depression is a very real disease, and I am not discounting those feelings. But steps can be taken. We can ask for help. We can try therapy. We can read uplifting books. We can search for helpful articles to change our Mindset. We can work hard to change our negative view into a positive one. I believe we can take steps to pull ourselves out of the darkness and into the light. I know it’s hard to see it when you are down but you have to push through.

When bad things happen we immediately want to find someone to blame. We are upset and mad and need someone to take it out on. When most of the time it is not anyone’s fault. It is a bad thing that happened and we cannot go back and undo that action. All we can do is control OUR reaction to it.

I understand how we react with our hearts and emotions instead of with a deep breath and logic. We fly off the handle and usually make the terrible situation worse. Life happens. And sometimes we need to try to remember that it really is no one’s fault. Accidents happen. I don’t believe that people mean for others to get hurt. But does blaming others help? The incident happened. The action has been done. There is no one to blame. Let’s try to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one. And let’s move on.

Many times we feel hurt because of what is going on inside of us. And many times we project things also because of what is going on inside of us. We need to fix ourselves first instead of blaming others.

When bad things happen let’s take a deep breath. Let’s think is this going to matter in five years? How much of an impact will it have on my life? Is it my situation to get involved in? If I were on the other side of the situation, how would I want that person to react? I think back to when I was single and dating, I would get so upset if a guy didn’t like me. I was crushed and thought I would never find someone. After an emotional breakdown, I had some amazing friends who would help me to think positively (Thank you LP, JW, and MA!). They would help me to see that we were two good people but not good together. They helped me see that God had a plan and that all these missteps would lead me to some bigger and better love. (And it took 10 years but it happened!) Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through bad situations. Sometimes we need some amazing friends who support us. And sometimes we need to let go of the hate and the blame.

Let’s ask ourselves if the hate we pour onto someone else is worth it. Do they deserve it? Is it really hurting them or are we just hurting ourselves with these pent-up negative emotions? If we let go of that person and the blame then can we feel better? Can we logically get past the situation? Can we learn to love this person or let them go? So many times a terrible situation can lead to something bigger and better. It is just very hard to see when we are in the middle of it. Let’s try to look forward and not backward.

It is hard. It is extremely hard not to react with emotion. But we need to try to take the situation and say the incident happened. Now what? How do I get through it? How do I make it better? Is there anything positive to see? Let’s stop the blame game and take responsibility for our actions and our situations. Let’s let go of the hate. I don’t believe it hurts anyone but ourselves.

Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Independence Day

July 4, 2023 No Comments

Happy Birthday, America! Today, we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain. Our forefathers fought for our freedoms and today we recognize our lucky we are to live in the United States of America.

Most of us will celebrate by having the day off of work. We will eat hamburgers and hot dogs because that’s the American way. We will probably have a beer or two to celebrate the day off and the freedom we have to have a beer anytime we want to.

For the past two years, my Prince and I celebrated July 4th with friends on Lake Anna in Virginia. They have a wonderful fireworks display every year, and we were blessed enough to be out on a boat looking up at these amazing lights.

This year we also spent the holiday weekend on the water. Our friends took us out on their boat Saturday and out on jet skies on Sunday. This time we were in the great state of Wisconsin. We got to experience the water of Green Bay and saw the vastness of Lake Michigan. It is amazing how big the Great Lakes are.

The shoreline around Green Bay was amazing. It was full of rocks, limestone, cliffs and beautiful houses. My Rock and I had a great time on the water. I had not been on water skies in over 30 years, but I was able to pop right up! It makes me appreciate our lifestyle. We try to eat well and stay in shape (make sure you check out my recipes and workouts) so that we can do these activities even if we only get the opportunity once every few years!

Overall, our time in Green Bay was pretty amazing. We saw some great sunsets, had some good laughs, and spent some quality time with friends. We saw Egg Harbor, Door County, Fish Creek, as well as other stops along the way. Thank you friends for the wonderful weekend!

If you haven’t heard, last Thursday we started our trek out west where we will spend some time in Park City, Utah. We spent Thursday night in Chicago and then the weekend in Green Bay. Yesterday, we drove to Lincoln, Nebraska where we saw fireworks going off all along the water. The displays went on forever. Today, we will continue our drive and celebrate our independence somewhere in Wyoming. Hopefully we can find a wonderful fireworks display tonight.

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday! Celebrate and appreciate the independence that we have.

In Adventures with Gram

Break From Gram

October 20, 2020 No Comments

In May 2020, my husband and I were supposed to be in the British Virgin Islands on a weeklong sailing trip with friends. We planned a wonderful vacation and it was to be a break from Gram and caregiving responsibilities. Of course, because of Covid-19, it was canceled. Therefore, we decided to take scuba diving lessons instead. Since the shop had limited hours, and the pool was closed to the public, the owner was willing to give us private lessons. We did a few class and pool sessions on our own, then, one morning we had no choice but to take Gram to the pool.

Although she did not scuba dive, she had a great time watching us go underwater. She told me that night she was going to learn to scuba dive 🙂 (I love her sense of adventure as I am not confident that she could even swim now!) She also said she saw something new, and she was excited about it. I love that at her age she is still learning and willing to experience everything life has to offer her. She is such an inspiration.

For our first open water dive, we made our way to Venice Beach, Florida with our instructor. We put our gear on at the truck and waded our way across the beach and into the warm Gulf. It was a beautiful day, and we had a little break from Gram. We were excited and couldn’t wait to see what was underneath the surface!

As we descended, we realized the water was not very clear. We all held onto a line so we wouldn’t lose each other. That was our first lesson in realizing you never know what you will find underneath, so be prepared. We saw thousands of sand dollars, a lost anchor, snapper, various other fish, and conch shells. We did two 25-minute dives. Then we swam back to shore and helped each other out of the water. It was an amazing experience!! I was introduced to a whole new underwater world, which I had only seen on TV or while snorkeling.

For our second dive, we took our boat off the shore of Sanibel Island to Doc Kline reef. Our boat felt so small as we were 10 miles out in the Gulf. The waves seemed huge, and I was so nervous. I was very thankful we decided to take a break from Gram and not bring her with us on this trip. She would have been so scared.

We had to fall off the side of the boat to enter the water. I had practiced that part in the pool, but this was the first time doing it from the side of a boat. I was pretty nervous, but I did it. Check out this video. The visibility down below was much better than our first dive!! We dove down to about 36 feet. We did two 30-minute dives with a 30-minute break on the boat in between the dives. This time, we saw beautiful coral reefs, a lost fishing pole, a buried chest, schools of fish, and various sea creatures. I still need to work on relaxing and breathing calmly as my oxygen tank was almost empty after each dive. I also had trouble clearing my ears, which was pretty painful. I came out of the water with a bloody nose, and later, I found out that my ear bled, too. I hope my scuba diving career is not over before it even begins.

When I first started taking care of Gram, someone told me in order to be a good caregiver, I had to take care of myself first. I know that in order to keep my marriage strong, I must learn to balance caregiving with being a wife and a partner to my husband. And I need to realize it is okay to take a break from Gram. It is okay for us to have time for ourselves. As you read in “Yes, WoMan“, I am a Yes girl, but as a caregiver saying yes isn’t as easy as it was before. Arrangements need to be made, details need to be considered, and decisions need to be weighed. Yes, it is worth it, but it is definitely more work.

As a caregiver (or a parent or a grandparent) just remember you need breaks. It is important to keep yourself happy and healthy as well as your relationship with your significant other. So don’t be afraid to give yourself a minute. Don’t be afraid to take a break.

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Power Songs

Blame Game

Independence Day

Break From Gram

Missing Gram

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Letter to Gram

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