When times get tough, just remember how strong you are. If you are fighting something in your life whether it be negativity, a disease, a hard project, or a student in your class, stand tall and adjust your outlook.
She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.
-Unknown
Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
Mitchell Tenpenny’s new song called Horseshoes and Hand Grenades is the inspiration for this post. The first time I heard the chorus it brought tears to my eyes. Jeff and I were driving, and I just wanted to burst into tears. Instead of letting my tears fall, I held back. I am not sure why. I guess I felt like Jeff wouldn’t understand. He would be confused as to why I just started crying for apparently no reason. He never met my dad so he wouldn’t know that one of my dad’s favorite sayings was “close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” Therefore, the song brought back memories of him and all the hurt I feel that he is gone.
I am not sure why my dad liked that saying so much. Maybe because we played sports, and we would say “that was close.” And he would say “close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” And it wouldn’t count. What he meant is it doesn’t matter if you are “close” to hitting your target or “close” to winning the game. In the end, you still missed or lost. Therefore, “close” doesn’t count except in the game of horseshoes, which I have never played so I am not sure I truly understand! But what my dad wanted from us was to work harder and be better.
I miss my dad so much. Next month it will be 10 years since he left this Earth. He was one of the most amazing people that I know. He was the baby of six children and from what I understand, he didn’t have the best childhood. I was told he was a great basketball player, but also a bit of a rebel. I think he got into drinking and smoking at a pretty young age. My mom fell for him, and they got married shortly after high school. She must have seen his true heart through his tough exterior. One of my dad’s best friends recruited him into the Army, and like many in that generation he went. I was born two years later. After serving four years and being stationed in various places, we returned to our small hometown. My parents made a wonderful life for my sister and me. We grew up in a small rural town where we still have the strongest ties to amazing family and friends, which is why Jeff and I decided to buy Gram’s House.
I guess every little girl thinks their dad can do no wrong, especially when they lose them at 36 years old. After surviving his childhood, building a life for his family, and working two careers after the plant in our town shut down, he got diagnosed with lung cancer at age 51. My dad was so strong and possibly so stubborn that he fought that damn cancer for nine years. He continued to work and drive for hours a day. He went to chemo and radiation and fought so hard that he was able to walk my sister down the aisle even after his lung collapsed. How he did it I will never know. He never seemed to get down, and he never showed us that he was scared. He was so strong. Some days it seems so unfair. It seems he fought his whole life and then his sweet life ended at 60.
So, when the Horseshoes and Hand Grenades song came on it took me back to my childhood. It took me back to all the amazing memories of my dad. Even though it brought tears to my eyes and made me sad that he isn’t here to share my life with now, I am grateful that that song made me think of him. I am thankful to have the memories and that those memories came back to me for a little while that day and almost every day.
As you know I love therapy and thinking back to that moment in the car, I do wish I would have let my emotions go. We are so accustomed to hiding our feelings, especially sadness from other people. We are taught by society that we need to be strong and not cry. Sometimes holding back can make your pain worse. We do need to give in to the tears and sometimes we just need to have a really good cry.
When something triggers an emotional memory for you, try to take the time to recognize the pain. Let the tears flow if you can. I have attached an article on how not crying can be harmful to your physical and mental health. Sometimes you need to postpone a cry. Pull yourself together for the moment but then let yourself go when you feel comfortable. We also need to recognize that even if triggers make us sad for a moment, don’t let them pull us down the emotional rabbit hole. We do need to pull ourselves back together. If we can’t then professional help may be needed.
In the end, thank God for the trigger and for the memories. Be thankful that for a moment in this fast-paced life of ours you took a few minutes to stop and remember your loved one. Then wipe the tears from your eyes and live your life to the fullest like your loved one would want you to.
Photo by Jeff Smith on Unsplash
I saw this quote on social media the other day and thought it was awesome. Portray in yourself what you want to see in other people. Be what you admire. Be all that you want to be. Have a wonderful Wednesday!!
Attract What you Expect
Reflect What you Desire
Become What you Respect
Mirror What you Admire
Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash
I hope you had an amazing Easter weekend. It seems to be a holiday that some people just pass over. It has become the time when schools, kids, and parents are looking forward to spring break instead of celebrating the true meaning of Easter.
Easter is the day that Jesus rose from the dead after his burial three days before. We celebrate in the Christian Church and growing up Catholic meant we spent a lot of time in Church. In our area, we only had three days off from school around Easter weekend. The days were Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Monday. Most schools now give a week around Easter for Spring Break. And I think it’s great that families can take the time to travel to visit other family members and celebrate together.
Photo by Paul Zoetemeijer on Unsplash
Easter is really a beautiful time of reflection and peace. It means that the weather is turning and Spring is coming (depending on where you live!). When I was younger, we colored Easter eggs with Gram and Gramps and had a wonderful Easter dinner on Sunday. My parents hid our Easter baskets so we had to search the house high and low to find the Pulakos chocolate bunny. I always started with the ears and then went to the tail. Of course, I had to dip my bunny in peanut butter. It was soooooo good! I would just eat a little piece every day so it would last as long as possible. It was the best treat! We also got little chocolate eggs that were the perfect size to pop in your mouth. As I got older and moved away from the Erie area I came to love Cadbury mini eggs with the hard shell, and my parents would get me a bag whenever we got together around the holiday.
Many of our adult Easters were spent in Virginia. My sister and I both lived there, therefore, my parents would come down from northwest Pennsylvania. Because we had a week off, I would go get the grandparents from the condo in Fort Myers, and we would all meet in Virginia to go to church and have Easter dinner. Once my sister had children, we would go to her house to watch the kids go on egg hunts in their backyard. They were so excited.
It’s hard to believe that five years ago was my last Easter with my sister. On one hand, it seems like so long ago. On the other, it seems like just yesterday. That Easter I would never have imagined it would be her last. She was strong. She was happy. I didn’t see it coming just a short month later. I was blindsided.
So now even though Easter is a wonderful time of year it’s also a sad one for our family. April was the last month we had with her. Easter was our last holiday together. Spring, a time of new beginnings, is a time when we lost so much. I miss her every day, but the holidays are the worst. Oh how much I wish she was still here.
Many times we are so disheartened and saddened by the passing of a loved one that it’s hard to move on. And I suppose I could let myself cry every day. But I need to realize life must go on. There was some reason she was needed in Heaven. I have to believe that we will see her again someday, and we will have an eternity together. Until then, I need to count the blessings that I do have on this Earth.
This year Jeff and I were together in Fort Myers. And as soon as we woke up and walked into the kitchen a cardinal flew in and sat on one of our lounge chairs across the pool. It was a beautiful red bird, and I felt so loved and blessed. I said, “Jeff, look someone came to say Happy Easter.” It made me feel amazing for the rest of the day. I am not sure which family member it was, but it made my heart so happy. You may not believe in signs from Heaven but I do. It gives me a sense that they are still here and watching over us.
Jeff’s friend from college and his wife were in town for the weekend. We took them boating on Saturday. Then we had brunch on Sunday and sat by the pool as we listened to mass on our Sonos sound system. It was a beautiful day in Fort Myers and such a nice relaxing day. We called and talked to the kids (our niece and nephew) as they were just getting back from church and eating breakfast. They were so excited for Easter Day. Our eldest son was working so he could not come home. For our Easter dinner, we had salmon, salad, and stuffed mushrooms with our youngest son, who was home from college for the last time before graduating. Then the three of us watched the Tampa Bay Rays baseball game and finished with a little treat of ice cream from Rita’s Ice. It was the perfect ending to a beautiful Easter day.
I hope you had a wonderful weekend with your families and/or friends. I hope you had a chance to give some praise to God for his only son. I hope you set aside some time to call your family and friends and tell them how much they mean to you. I hope even if you have lost loved ones you can see the beauty in all the blessings around you.
Featured Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Hello, my Wednesday Warriors! I have decided that there are enough Weekly Wednesday Workouts on the blog for you to get started on your fitness journey. If you need a workout or ideas, please email, call, text, Facebook message, or Instagram me for ideas. I would be happy to come up with a workout to fit your needs.
Therefore, Wednesday will now be devoted to Weekly Wednesday Words. It may be a quote for the week to inspire you in the work environment, as a parent, or in fitness. It may be a devotion giving you the strength to make it through the rest of the week. Anyway, instead of daily inspirations, there will be one per week.
Again, if you follow and love my blog, please make sure you are following me on social media. Also, please share it with your friends. I’d love to inspire more people with your help.
Today’s quote is one of my absolute favorites, and we need to remember this as we journey through our lives together. All in all, just be kind.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
―
Today’s post is a continuation of my Letter to Gram. If you are jumping in, head on back to that first post about how writing a letter to your loved one can be therapeutic. This letter is the second part of my letter to Gram and about how much changed that first year I had the opportunity to take care of her.
Dear Gram,
Our journey continues. After 16 years in Richmond, I needed a change. I was not happy with my job or the dating scene. I met a friend of a friend who was moving to Thailand to teach English. It sounded like something that I just needed to do. I had the same feeling in my stomach as when I moved to California. I just knew I had to go.
As I was considering moving to Thailand, Grandpa voiced his opinion and didn’t really want me to go. He was about to turn 90, and I think he was scared he wouldn’t make it until my return. Maybe he knew his health was failing. He had been in and out of the hospital the year prior with his congestive heart failure, but he always bounced back. I don’t remember you telling me not to go. I only remember your support and you probably told me Gary and Shar used to live there, too! I think you were excited for me to go on a crazy adventure, and I couldn’t wait to see the world.
Even though I was only gone three months, I did miss Grandpa’s 90th birthday bash, and I am really sorry that I did. He was so happy and many of his old players and students came back for the occasion. Mom did FaceTime me so I did get to see you dancing with the toy soldier and got to be a part of some of the celebration.
I also missed the beautiful birth of my nephew. I knew there would never be a time that I wouldn’t miss something so I will never regret going to Thailand and gaining all that I experienced. But I also wish I could have been in two places at the same time. (of course! I am a Yes, Woman!)
I ended up coming back from Thailand for Christmas to see the family and my new nephew who was only 19 days old. That Christmas of 2015, Gramps got sick. My sister asked him if he wanted to go to the emergency room and he said yes. So off we went. He had fluid built up around his lungs and ended up having a longer stay than any of us wanted. I remember you not wanting to leave his side, and I wish I would have talked the staff into letting us both stay to be with him. I didn’t realize how much you felt the need to be there until I was the one who wanted to stay with you in the hospital room. I am sorry that we didn’t let you stay. I know the staff said it was a liability, and we didn’t want you to fall and get hurt either, but I finally realized how much you truly wanted to be there. And how lonely the hospital room can be.
After a week of Gramps being in the hospital, we all decided I wasn’t going back to Thailand. I had some wonderful adventures and saw nine new countries including Germany, Finland, Sweden, and The Netherlands so I decided I would stay home and spend time with you and Gramps. My house in Richmond was rented until September, and I was unemployed. Gramps spent a month in rehab while you and I stayed with mom. Finally, we decided to take Grandpa back home to Pennsylvania with Hospice Care. It was going to be a big change, but I would move in and be there for you both.
We made it home and my cousin across the street helped me get Gramps in the house. It was not an easy task, and I am not sure how we did it. Grandpa was so upset that we weren’t in your condo in Florida and once he saw the hospital bed in the living room, he seemed deflated. I think maybe it was his last wish to be in sunny Florida before he passed on.
My mom came up a few days later but after a week, Grandpa’s body couldn’t fight anymore. We called the priest in for the anointing of the sick and all prayed together with my sister on the phone. The next morning, he faded out and was gone. I am sorry, Grandpa, that I was not there to hold your hand as you headed toward the light. And I am sorry, Gram, that you barely made it to tell him you loved him one more time. It seemed to happen so fast, and I hate that we were not all there for him in those final moments.
That week was full of preparations. We planned with the funeral home and family started arriving in town. Although it was great to see everyone, it was sad, sad circumstances. After the dust settled, it was just you and me. I wasn’t sure if you would last two days, two months, or two years, without him. You just lost your best friend, and I wasn’t sure you knew what to do next.
It was February 2016. We just lost Gramps. It was snowing. I didn’t have a job yet therefore, we made fires, watched the snowfall, and watched black and white movies all day. We didn’t go out in the cold if we didn’t have to. About a month later, my high school girlfriends talked me into volunteer coaching for the high school softball team. Then one of my college girlfriends offered me a job at a local dairy isle. What a change from the field of education! We had a wonderful summer once the weather turned. We zoomed around town in my little convertible EOS, watching softball games, eating ice cream, drinking wine, and going out to eat at our favorite restaurant, Venango Valley. I reconnected with high school and college friends and was enjoying being with you and being back in my hometown.
Then December came and you broke your hip (the first time). I couldn’t let what happened to Gramps happen to you so I vowed to be with you 24/7 and I broke you loose from the rehab center. Once you were back home, your spirits picked right up, your attitude changed and you were walking around the house with your walker in no time. You became more dependent on me, but I was just happy you were doing well.
That February, after your fall, we both were sad and depressed because of the weather, and we were tired of being cooped up in the house. We needed a change. Therefore, we took off for Florida. It was perfect timing because that is when I met my Prince. You seemed to like him right from the start and that was the beginning of more crazy adventures, but now there was three of us.
Making the change and being able to take care of you led me to so many wonderful things in life. I reconnected with amazing friends and got to spend more time with them. I also met new friends who grew to love you and your presence. And of course, I met my husband. We all miss you more than you know.
(to be continued…)
In today’s workout, you will do three rounds of 7 rounds of 7 reps of three chest exercises. Rest as needed in between each round.
Movements for each round:
For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!
Photo by James Barr on Unsplash
“People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.”
– Rogers Hornsby
Photo by Thomas Park on Unsplash