As I have said many times before, happiness is a choice. Choose happy. A happy life doesn’t find you when certain things happen or go your way. You make your own happiness by being present in the moment, being grateful for what you have, and enjoying the little things.
“You do not find the happy life. You make it.”
– Camilla Eyring Kimball
Why do we find it so easy to blame others? We blame others for our unhappiness. We blame them for our broken hearts. We blame them for our empty bank accounts. We determine it must be someone else’s fault because it can’t be our own. It’s so easy to say they didn’t visit so I am sad. They didn’t call me to say I’m sorry, so now I am upset. They didn’t ask me to come to the party so they must not like me, so now I am disappointed.
Yes, it is very easy to blame others when things don’t go our way. But let’s stop and take responsibility for our actions. Let’s ask ourselves about our behavior. Why am I unhappy? Why is my bank account empty? Why don’t people want to be around me? Am I a person who brings light and happiness into the room? Or do I walk in with a dark cloud over me like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Let’s ask ourselves which type of person we are and if others want to be around that type of person. Everyone is dealing with their own personal demons. Let’s be a light for each other.
Depression is a very real disease, and I am not discounting those feelings. But steps can be taken. We can ask for help. We can try therapy. We can read uplifting books. We can search for helpful articles to change our Mindset. We can work hard to change our negative view into a positive one. I believe we can take steps to pull ourselves out of the darkness and into the light. I know it’s hard to see it when you are down but you have to push through.
When bad things happen we immediately want to find someone to blame. We are upset and mad and need someone to take it out on. When most of the time it is not anyone’s fault. It is a bad thing that happened and we cannot go back and undo that action. All we can do is control OUR reaction to it.
I understand how we react with our hearts and emotions instead of with a deep breath and logic. We fly off the handle and usually make the terrible situation worse. Life happens. And sometimes we need to try to remember that it really is no one’s fault. Accidents happen. I don’t believe that people mean for others to get hurt. But does blaming others help? The incident happened. The action has been done. There is no one to blame. Let’s try to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one. And let’s move on.
Many times we feel hurt because of what is going on inside of us. And many times we project things also because of what is going on inside of us. We need to fix ourselves first instead of blaming others.
When bad things happen let’s take a deep breath. Let’s think is this going to matter in five years? How much of an impact will it have on my life? Is it my situation to get involved in? If I were on the other side of the situation, how would I want that person to react? I think back to when I was single and dating, I would get so upset if a guy didn’t like me. I was crushed and thought I would never find someone. After an emotional breakdown, I had some amazing friends who would help me to think positively (Thank you LP, JW, and MA!). They would help me to see that we were two good people but not good together. They helped me see that God had a plan and that all these missteps would lead me to some bigger and better love. (And it took 10 years but it happened!) Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through bad situations. Sometimes we need some amazing friends who support us. And sometimes we need to let go of the hate and the blame.
Let’s ask ourselves if the hate we pour onto someone else is worth it. Do they deserve it? Is it really hurting them or are we just hurting ourselves with these pent-up negative emotions? If we let go of that person and the blame then can we feel better? Can we logically get past the situation? Can we learn to love this person or let them go? So many times a terrible situation can lead to something bigger and better. It is just very hard to see when we are in the middle of it. Let’s try to look forward and not backward.
It is hard. It is extremely hard not to react with emotion. But we need to try to take the situation and say the incident happened. Now what? How do I get through it? How do I make it better? Is there anything positive to see? Let’s stop the blame game and take responsibility for our actions and our situations. Let’s let go of the hate. I don’t believe it hurts anyone but ourselves.
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
Too many times we are coerced into visiting family or friends. Sometimes people make you feel guilty that you don’t visit often enough. But let us remember they can visit you, too! Let’s live this life without guilt. Do what you feel is best for you and live a happy life.
Don’t let people guilt you for not visiting them. They’re not visiting you either.
-unknown
Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash
This is the week to celebrate America’s birthday and our independence! Sometimes I think we take for granted the freedoms we have been granted here in America. Let’s remember our forefathers who fought so hard for our Independence, who believed in this country, and who wanted all citizens to have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!
“I believe in America because we have great dreams, and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.”
– Wendell L. Wilkie
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
As you read in one of my recent posts, several people have said they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures, and they can’t wait to see where we will be going next. Most people wonder where we get the energy. And sometimes I wonder that myself!
At my #LEGS Christmas party a friend of mine said, “I love seeing all your pictures. You have the “perfect” life.” I was flattered, but I hope everyone knows our life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. And what is perfect anyway?
I do have to say that our life is “perfect” for us. We are lucky because we both love the crazy, gypsy, never-home lifestyle we lead. If one of us was a homebody, it wouldn’t work. If one of us was an introvert, it wouldn’t work. But we love being on the go. We love seeing new places and trying new things. We love our homes that we are blessed to have. We also have amazing friends and family that make the places we visit feel like “home.”
I am flattered that people have told me they love our lives, and they are happy for us. We work hard to be able to play hard. We work hard at our marriage to make it work. We communicate with each other to make sure we are on the same page. Of course, we have disagreements and sometimes we lose patience and get annoyed with one another. But we know that marriage is hard, and we want to make sure each other’s buckets are full (Read the post “The Five Love Languages” if you don’t know what I am talking about). Therefore, we need to check in and make sure both of us are enjoying where we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. Unpacking and repacking a few days later can strain a marriage. Being out of our workout and eating routine can also be frustrating. We realize our eating habits must be on point while we are running around.
My Valentine and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Every year we have been together, I have made an 8×8 photo book of our year in review from Snapfish. Usually, the books are about 50 pages long. This year we had so many adventures and so much fun it was almost 90 pages!! I guess I took a lot of pictures and didn’t want to leave anything out. Going through the photographs of the past year was eye-opening. Remembering all the good times and the special memories with the people we love was amazing. I enjoy making these books because they make me go back and review our year. What did we do? Who did we meet? Who did we spend time with? Where did we go? It’s wonderful to look at all the pictures and live it again vicariously.
Our life is not for everyone. Yes, it may look amazing on Facebook and other social media as do a lot of people’s lives. But remember social media isn’t always true. Most of the time, people are putting on a front. They want others to think their life is “perfect“. They want others to believe they are happy and have no problems. We don’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives so give people grace. And PLEASE DON’T COMPARE your life to theirs. Everyone is on their own journey.
As I said our life is “perfect” for us. It’s what we have chosen. Some people don’t want to unpack and repack in the same week. Some people hate packing altogether. Some people don’t want to race from gate to gate to try to catch a standby flight. Some people don’t want to be away from the gym or their home for an extended period. Some people don’t want to go out of their comfort zone or out of their hometown. And guess what? That is okay. Our life is not for everyone. Whatever you choose for your life, make it perfect for YOU!
It is hard not to react to words said or events without emotion. We can be hurt by things people say or do. We can be emotional about things that happen. And it’s ok to feel that way for a little bit but then we need to step back, take a deep breath and remember that we cannot control events or other people’s actions. All we can control is OUR reaction to it. React with your head not with your heart. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you.
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.
~ Warren Buffet
Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash
In life and in sports, we experience failure. The key is how we react to those failures. How do we respond? Do we get back up and stand tall? Do we shake it off and keep going? Do we fail with dignity and respect?
“A champion is defined not by their wins but by how they can recover when they fall.”
– Serena Williams
Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash
Sometimes, life throws unexpected challenges our way which can lead to disappointment, and it is during those times that we truly discover who our real family and true friends are. It breaks my heart when I hear of or experience family members who have chosen to sever ties with their family over trivial matters especially when it is done with no explanation or communication.
Family is supposed to be the foundation of love, support, and understanding. We expect them to be there, through thick and thin, standing by our side no matter what. If we can’t depend on family who can we depend on? But when materialistic concerns take precedence over genuine connections, it leaves us feeling nothing but sad and empty.
We have all heard the stories of how families are torn apart especially after a family member dies and there is some type of disagreement over the will or the estate. I never thought that money could be the reason for such a loss, but I hear of more and more families being torn apart by materialistic things. It is unreal to me. My grandparents were so generous with the small amount of money they had. I remember my grandfather saying we can’t take it with us. Therefore, every birthday and holiday he gave monetary gifts to his children and grandchildren. And when my dad died, my mom gave my sister and me more money than she kept. What a generous gesture to give money when they didn’t have to.
I know misunderstandings can occur and that leads to frustration. If we would just pick up the phone and have a conversation I believe a lot of estrangements could be solved. But maybe I am naive. Maybe I believe there is good in every person. But maybe people don’t think like I do. Maybe people don’t see the good in others. Maybe they are only out for themselves and what they want. Maybe people don’t look out for one another. Maybe they don’t even realize how selfish they are being. And that makes me sad especially when it comes to family.
I believe that love and compassion are far more valuable than any material possession. It pains me to realize that some family members place a price tag on relationships, valuing their financial gain over the family bonds that were once cherished.
It’s disheartening to witness how easily relationships can crumble when faced with materialistic temptations, leaving us questioning the very essence of family. However, despite the pain and disappointment, we must remember that true family is not defined solely by blood ties. It extends beyond that, encompassing those who choose to be there for us, support us emotionally, and genuinely care about our well-being. That is why we have the best of friends.
In these moments, we must lean on the genuine bonds we have formed with those who have shown us unwavering support. Let us focus on the people who have proven their love and loyalty, rather than dwelling on the hurt caused by those who have chosen to prioritize superficial matters over family ties and who have decided not to have relationships with us.
Remember, disappointment may linger, but it does not define us. We are strong, resilient, and deserving of genuine connections. Let us surround ourselves with those who lift us up, appreciate us for who we are, and never let toxic relationships cloud our judgment.
Above all, let us learn from our experiences and those of others and strive to be the kind of family member who values love, compassion, communication, and empathy above all else. Together, we can break the cycle of disappointment and build a stronger, more supportive family network.
“May the work you do be a reflection of the passion inside you.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sometimes you have to let go to move on.
You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– William Faulkner
Photo by David Boca on Unsplash