Sometimes you have to let go to move on.
You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
– William Faulkner
Photo by David Boca on Unsplash
If you’ve been following my blog, you know I quit my job as Coordinator of Special Education to teach English in Thailand in the fall of 2015. I have already written posts about my journeys through Germany, Finland, Sweden, and The Netherlands. (Reread those posts…it’s been a while). But my European adventure continued… in Italy.
My friend, Erin, and I left Susana and her family in Utrecht, Holland, and headed to the airport. There we got on a plane and headed to Rome. Erin had some hotel points so we stayed at the Boscolo Hotel. From there, we were able to walk to all of the touristy spots. They were doing construction at the Trevi Fountain so I didn’t get to see the real thing, which is very disappointing as it looked beautiful. We toured the Coliseum, Spanish Steps, and the Vatican. We went up in the tower at the Vatican which was pretty sureal. Then we ate pizza and drank Italian wine in a town square. We walked around and went to many little shops and restaurants. We enjoyed the nightlife and met random people along the way. Here is a great site if you want to visit Rome. I liked Rome a lot, but it was very busy.
After two days in Rome, we rented a car and drove up through the beautiful Tuscany hillside. We had so much fun navigating the countryside. We stopped at the Tenuta Toriciano Winery for wine tasting and amazing lasagna with homemade truffle oil. I still think about that lasagna and the delicious truffle oil. We met a wonderful family from Pennsylvania who was also enjoying the afternoon at the winery. Of course, they were Steelers fans! I would love to go back there.
It was a beautiful day so we carried on our way driving our little stick shift car and singing as loud as we could along the hillside. We found a little hotel in the middle of Tuscany and stopped for dinner. I believe we were in Sovicille. It was so cute we decided to stay the night. The food was wonderful and the views were breathtaking. Our room was huge, and I remember thinking what a beautiful place to stumble upon.
The next day we made our way to Venice. We got there late at night so we couldn’t see much. We walked around for a long time because we could not find our place. Finally, we found our AirBnB and got settled. The next day we did more sightseeing. We walked around the beautiful city and took a gondola ride through the canals. I remember thinking I wish I had a boyfriend or husband to bring here. What a romantic city. Maybe My Prince and I will go back someday.
That evening we left for Lake Como. It was a beautiful ride and Lake Como is an amazing place. By the time we got there, it was dark therefore I didn’t get to see much. We met some fun people at the hotel bar. We had a lot of laughs and went to bed. I took an early train the next morning to Lausanne, Switzerland to meet up with more friends. It was time for my next adventure!
Overall, Italy was a beautiful place to visit. I don’t know if I would go to Rome again but I would love to go back to Venice, Lake Como, Florence, and the Tuscany region.
Believe in yourself. Have faith in all you do. Be determined in your goals. Don’t let doubt stop you from achieving your dreams. Go for it.
May your faith be unwavering, your determination unyielding, and your dreams unstoppable.
-Rachel Hollis
Photo by Randy Tarampi on Unsplash
As you read in Sad Sometimes, I get sad sometimes. Today is one of those days. I am missing my sister, my gram, and my dad. And sometimes it just really sucks. As you know, I try to write uplifting, inspiring posts, and I try to be strong. But sometimes I need to let my guard down and be vulnerable.
May is a tough month for our family. In 2012, we lost my dad on the night of May 22 and in 2018 we lost my sister on May 7. Therefore, this month can be difficult, especially for my mother who misses a piece of herself on Mother’s Day.
Death is tough. You want to convince yourself that it is good because the person you love is no longer in pain, especially if they have been fighting a terminal illness. And yes, death is amazing for the person who has died because they have moved on to eternal life. They are enjoying all the glory of God and in the best and most peaceful place ever.
But here we are down here. Missing them. Suffering. Making ourselves miserable. Why? I think it is because we feel guilty for one reason or another. We are sad that we didn’t get a chance to tell our person one more thing. Or maybe we feel guilty because we feel we should have spent more time with them. Or maybe we feel guilty because we hadn’t talked to that person in a long time. Whatever it is we need to STOP. We cannot keep living with guilt. We made the best decisions for ourselves at the time with the information we had. We did not know our person would be gone. And even if we did, we did what we felt we needed to do with the time we had left.
I can almost guarantee that the person in Heaven is not holding a grudge against you. They are not worried one bit about how much time you did or didn’t spend with them because they know when your time comes you will be spending eternity together. And they are not upset about words that were spoken. So give yourself some grace. Let the guilt go. Your person does not want you down here being miserable or making others miserable. What they want for you is to live your life to the fullest. They want you to find someone to share life with. They want you to be happy and share happiness with others. They want you to honor them by sharing the amazing times you had and being happy.
Some days it is hard and some days it’s ok to be missing them. But let’s quit feeling sorry for ourselves and let’s be happy. Life is way too short to dwell on unhappy times. It’s also too short to try to control situations and people that we cannot.
So, Dad, please know I am missing you more than anything today. I wish you were here to call when my tire light comes on or when the pilot light goes out. I wish you were here to help us with projects and come relax by the pool. We’d love to take you out on the boat. I know you would love it. But you are gone. Therefore, the only thing I can do is try to live a life that I can be proud of and that I feel would make you proud. I know you are watching over us and smiling down in your quiet way. I can picture your face and it brings me peace. (Can you believe I started to like playing golf after all those years of bitching about it!!?? I am hoping to beat mom in the upcoming PNA Tourney…don’t tell her :))
Life is too short, my friends, for pettiness and jealousy. We need to remember death is inevitable for all of us. Therefore, if today were your last day on Earth, can you go with no regrets? If not, then take steps to complete your tasks so you can go with a clean conscience. Maybe write a letter to someone you need to make peace with (even if you just put it in an envelope for them to find later). Maybe write a thank you note to someone who made a difference in your life. Maybe give someone a call and tell them you love them. Whatever it is, get it done because we never know when it will be our time.
Remember, we are only here for a short time. Live a life full of adventure, kindness, and happiness. And let’s spread joy to one another. If you are missing someone take a moment to say hello and look for those Signs from Heaven. Hopefully, that will make you smile.
Let your actions speak louder than your words. Let your actions inspire others. Live a life that shows others they can do anything they want, be anything they want, and live a life that they want. Be positive and uplifting in all that you do.
May your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more.
-John Quincy Adams
Photo by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash
Let’s all try to listen to our hearts are little bit more. I feel like your heart and your gut will lead you. Somehow when you know you know. Take the time to listen.
“May your choices be guided by your heart, for it knows the way.”
– Aarti Khurana
Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash
As we transition from spring into summer let’s start by making decisions with high hopes and let’s not be afraid to take chances.
May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
-Nelson Mandela
Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
May 7. On this day six years ago I lost my best friend, my sister. How is it six years? I miss her so much and think about her every day. Sometimes I will make a face in the mirror and think wow I look like my sister. And it makes me sad that she is gone but it makes me smile that maybe that is her way of saying I am right here with you. And that gives me comfort. I still need to be more conscious of the Signs from Heaven.
It’s amazing how time goes by so fast. I started this blog on her birthday almost four years ago. It was to help me with my grief journey as well as talk about my amazing Adventures with Gram who I also miss more every day. I wanted to write in a way that would honor the memory of my sister. And I hoped that my posts would help others. I hoped my writings would inspire others and help them to become stronger on their journey.
If you knew my sister then you know how amazing she was. You know how big her heart was. You know she would do anything for her family, friends, or anyone who asked. She was the sweetest soul.
Growing up we would play school together. I would be the teacher and make her the student. I am not sure she liked playing school but it was fun for me. We loved music, and we made a tape of us singing some of our favorite songs. I wish we could find that thing. I think there is still an audiocassette player in the basement that I could play it on. Anyone who knows me knows I CANNOT sing. She may have been a little better than me but… needless to say, we sang and we loved it! We thought we were so good! We loved listening to music and would record songs off of the radio station. It made us so mad when they would talk over the music. I guess that is what we get for trying to get the songs without buying the actual tape or record. We did everything together.
I was the oldest so I paved the way for her when we became teenagers. I was the one who stayed out too late and tried to push the limits as far as I could. My mother hated liars, and I was terrible at it. Every time I tried to lie I would end up messing it up and getting myself caught. It ended up being better just to tell my mom the truth. It saved us both some heartache. My dad was pretty easygoing so when he was upset, I knew I was in trouble.
But I got in trouble and my sister could do no wrong. I guess the little ones just learn by watching and figuring out what NOT to do, and they stay out of trouble. Or they learn how to get away with things! Little sneaks. I mean look how cute she was. They couldn’t get upset with her. I suppose I never learned my lesson because sometimes I still feel like the little kid who pisses off my mom.
My sister was an amazing person, sister, friend, daughter, and mother. She was ALWAYS there for me. I could call her with the littlest problem and she would offer her advice and help me out. I have never been good at decisions. I always say yes then after thinking about it I want to change my mind. I think I know in my mind what the right decision is but I always need someone else to give me the green light and agree with me. She was the one who could help me see the pros and cons of each decision. She just knew what to say and knew what I needed to hear. God, I wish she was still here to help me.
If you knew my sister you know how great of a soul she was. You probably have been missing her for six years as well. Sometimes I wonder how different life would be if she were still here. But I realize these are the things I cannot change. These are the things we must live with and carry on with. We will never forget her; some days may be sadder than others, but we need to live our best life in her honor.
We need to realize that we can only control our reactions to events in our lives. I know as much as I miss her, I need to focus on the positives. I need to be happy that I am still alive and that I have a wonderful life to live. I realize this life is short, and I can’t waste time being upset with others because they didn’t behave in the way I wanted them to. I need to accept others for who they are. I need to surround myself with people who lift me up. I can’t let little things bother me. I cannot be the judge of others. Everyone is living their best life. Everyone is on their own journey reacting to their circumstances. Some may do it more beautifully than others. We can’t be jealous of others, and we can’t put others down. Maybe we want something others have and if we do then let’s work hard and achieve that goal. But let’s not be upset with that person for something they have that we don’t.
My sister lived her life as a wonderful example of how to live for her short 38 years. And she lived that life to the fullest. She focused on her goals and her family, and if negative people showed up, she let them go. I think we can all learn a little bit from her wonderful spirit. Missing you little one.
It’s the first day of May! That means summer is right around the corner. Spring is always a beautiful time of year filled with hope and beauty as the flowers start springing to life. May is the month of transition into summer.
“May is the month of promise and the sweet beginnings of summer.”
– Unknown
Photo by Kaizen Nguyễn on Unsplash
I have always loved reading and writing. I enjoyed reading books when I was younger, especially Sweet Valley Twins and Sweet Valley High by Francine Pascal. I also loved Choose Your Own Adventure books. I thought it was so cool to choose the path the main character would take. I always read in bed with the dim light from the hallway to guide my way.
Since I was a little girl I have kept a journal. I needed a place to write my thoughts about my family, my friends, and my life. In high school, I wrote poems for my boyfriend and my family. Looking back they were pretty cheesy, but I didn’t care, I enjoyed it. I believe there is a folder of them in PA. Maybe I will publish some or rewrite them now. Just wait for it 🙂
Looking back, reading and writing have always been a big part of my life. Since I can remember I have wanted to write a book. I don’t know why, but I want to be an author. As you know I had a session with Jake the Medium last year and he said I will have books published. I am glad he has faith in me because I just don’t know where to begin so I am putting it in the atmosphere. I have so many ideas and thoughts but I can’t figure out where to start. But I WILL get there one of these days!!
Sometimes people turn their noses up at self-help books, but I think they are wonderful. They give you a perspective. They inspire you. They let you know you are not alone in the struggles you are going through. Although many, many books have helped me along the way, there is one author that I believe is truly inspiring and uplifting. Her name is SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy), and I discovered her right after college through a friend’s recommendation.
Her books are colorful and fun. Just looking at the cover makes you smile. They are uplifting and inspiring. Two of my favorites are “Succulent Wild Woman” and “Make Your Creative Dreams Real“. If you need a little pick-me-up in your life then PLEASE order one of her books.
SARK also has a website. Her latest post is about her birthday month, which is April, just like mine. She celebrates all month just like me. She turned 70 this year and decided to call it Level 7. I love it! How exciting to reach the next level!! I cannot wait to reach Level 5 in two years. (P.S. I am kind of thinking Arkansas is where the party will be!)
Anyway, it is the last day of April and my birthday month is over. But I think the celebration should continue all year long. SARK proposes that we pick one or all of her 70 Miracle Missions of Love & Kindness and do them throughout the year. What a wonderful way to improve ourselves and spread cheer to others throughout the year. Cheers!
Photo by David Iskander on Unsplash