I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.
– Stephen Covey
Some days it just hits you. Some days it’s a picture that pops up in your memories. Some days it’s a funny story you want to share. Some days it’s a cardinal that sits outside your window. Some days it’s a vivid dream. When you are open to it, there are signs from Heaven everywhere.
My grandparents always told me that when a cardinal was around it was a sign from Heaven. After some research on Ecosia, I found an article that stated “many people believe when a cardinal lands in your yard, an angel is near. Cardinals can remind you of a departed loved one and are known as the most notable spiritual messenger”. At our home in Pennsylvania, we have a bird feeder outside of our kitchen window. Every few weeks, we have cardinals that stop by for a bite to eat. Gram and I truly believe our lost loved ones are nearby, and Gram gets so happy when she sees them. These signs from Heaven seem to appear especially when we are feeling down, and they make us feel better.
I was working on the blog this summer and was getting more and more nervous as the launch date was approaching. For some reason, I started going through my old emails. I was trying to clear away some digital clutter and another sign from Heaven appeared. I had stumbled upon some old emails from my sister. At that moment, I was kind of shocked and in disbelief to see her name as the sender. I was also very relieved I hadn’t deleted them!
The few I read brought tears to my eyes. I miss her so much. I would write to her when I was feeling down, when I needed advice, and when I had good news to share. She would do the same. As you read in “Why I Launched on August 8”, I lost my sister, my best friend, a little over two years ago, and there will always be a hole in my heart where she belongs.
When I decided to quit my job and move to Thailand, she was my biggest supporter. She wrote in an email, “I am very supportive of you leaving and pursuing your dream. You have to do what is right for you.” It reminded me that I do have to follow my heart and my dreams. Another one stated, “Confidence, confidence, confidence! You just have to believe! Just remember that you are an amazing woman!” Those words were exactly what I needed. I believe it was her way of sending me encouragement from Heaven. I realize I have lots of love and support from my AMAZING husband, friends, and family, but having my sister’s support was number one, and it hurts my heart that she isn’t here to give me her words of advice.
When you lose loved ones you can give up. You can cry every day. You can blame God. You can blame others. I can’t tell you why these terrible things happen to very wonderful people. All I can tell you is that they are still with you and watching over you, so look for those signs from Heaven. Which ones have you seen?
I believe I will see my family again someday and that gives me hope. I also realize I can’t go on not living because I have lost. All I can do is realize life is very, very short and it can be gone in a blink of an eye. So be happy. Take steps to make changes if you are not. Enjoy life. Smile a lot. Take time for the little things. Don’t wait until tomorrow. And don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
– Norman Vincent Peale
If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.
– Booker T. Washington
We like to have tuna fish, avocado, and tomatoes for lunch. We use a can of albacore tuna fish in water, 1/2 to a whole avocado (depending on if we have used avocados for breakfast that day), and then as many onions and tomatoes that will fit. We also like to add ground flaxseed to get some extra omega 3’s. You can use grape tomatoes, vine tomatoes, or homegrown. It’s that easy and you have your lean protein, healthy fat, and carb. Enjoy! If you feel you cannot have tuna fish without dressing/mayonnaise, then try Sir Kensington’s avocado mayo or Primal Kitchen’s Avocado Oil Dressings. They are both delicious and better for you, but be mindful of how much you are using.
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Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
– Dalai Lama
This workout (click on workout for video) may take you a little longer than the others. It is a great total body workout. I suggest timing yourself today to see how long it takes you, then in a month after you’ve continued on your fitness journey, repeat the workout, and see if you improved your time 🙂 Then in another six months, time yourself again.
- 100 step-ups (vary the height of the step)
- 90 sit-ups (your choice of ab exercise)
- 80 jumping jacks (step side to side or use a jump rope)
- 70 squats (use a chair or add weight)
- 60 kettlebell swings (vary the weight)
- 50 lunges (hold onto a chair or add weight)
- 40 shoulder to overhead (vary the weight)
- 30 burpees (step back or add in a push-up)
- 20 push-ups (knees or toes)
- 1:00 minute plank (knees or toes)
One way to modify this workout is to cut it in half. Go through it once, take a two-minute break, and go through it again. If you need other modifications or challenges, please email me or comment below.
When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
-Henry Ford
It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And that’s exactly what happened. As you read in “Life Changes“, Gram loved playing Bingo and would do so every other Monday. On December 5, 2016, I dropped gram off and then received one of the worst phone calls three hours later. She had fallen on her way out of the bingo hall. It was a rainy, chilly night, and they weren’t sure if she slipped or if her legs just gave out. I raced over to the church parking lot as fast as I could, and I couldn’t believe my eyes. There was sweet gram on the asphalt, covered with blankets, crying, and apologizing. I hoped and prayed she did not have a broken hip, but it did not look good.
After what seemed like an eternity, the ambulance arrived. Gram was so upset and sorry. I kept telling her it wasn’t her fault. We finally got to the hospital and yep, you know it, it was a broken hip. The doctors were great and wasted no time. Surgery was the next day. I didn’t feel comfortable letting Gram stay in the hospital by herself. She would have no idea about insurance or her medications and would have a hard time hearing the nurses and doctors. Plus, she would have no idea what was going on. Thankfully, I have amazing friends and cousins, and they brought me an overnight bag.
My mom arrived from Virginia and all three of us spent a couple of days at the hospital in a wonderful suite. Then, they sent Gram to rehab, and mom returned home to Virginia. After a week in rehab, she wasn’t really getting better and seemed to be losing hope. I decided I didn’t want her to deteriorate as my grandpa did, so I asked if I could take her home.
At first, they were hesitant, but the physical therapist came out to our house for a trial run, and Gram started zipping around the house with her walker. We decided it definitely would be better for her to be at home, but one of the stipulations was that I had to be with her 24/7. 24/7 is very overwhelming, especially since she was fairly independent up until that point. But I felt I needed to make the sacrifice.
Back at Home. It’s really hard to take care of someone who has dementia and a broken hip. There were certain movements she wasn’t supposed to do because the hip could pop out. I did my best to keep her on track. She couldn’t do a whole lot on her own so she became more and more dependent on me. I was making her breakfast, helping her get dressed, and helping her shower. I did sneak out to the gym in the morning, which was my alone time, my social time and my let my frustrations out time. Because I needed that hour a day, I woke up early so I would be back before she decided to get out of bed. I did what I had to do to make it happen, to keep myself sane and our relationship healthy.
Lonely Christmas. By Christmas🎄, she was walking around the house like a rock star with her walker, but I wasn’t sure if an eight-hour car ride to Virginia would be good for her. We decided not to travel and had a nice, quiet Polish Wigilia by ourselves. It was a very emotional Christmas because we weren’t able to spend it with our family, and it was our first Christmas without Gramps. It’s amazing the little things you come to appreciate as time goes by and how much you learn to appreciate your family and the time spent with them.
Although she was weak at times, I couldn’t believe how well she was recovering from the broken hip. She was walking around the house with her walker. She would take little rides with me when it was nice out. I talked her into going out to dinner a few times and a month later she was back at the bingo hall! Not too shabby for a 92-year-old.
But by February 2017, Gram and I were feeling pretty down. We were around each other constantly. She was getting stronger and able to do more, but she wasn’t fixing herself breakfast and didn’t seem motivated to do much. My life was changing as she became more and more dependent on me.
A Bright Idea. One morning, Gram mentioned going to her condo in Fort Myers, Florida. Needless to say, it sounded like a fabulous idea!! It was cold and snowy in Pennsylvania, and we were both ready for some sunshine! We also were in need of some family time. We packed our bags, loaded up the cat in the car, and headed south. Not knowing that soon again I would be experiencing more life changes.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.
– Mark Twain