If you haven’t seen it yet, I hope this Christmas you will watch Elf. It is a wonderful Christmas movie. It will put you right in the holiday spirit. I hope it makes you laugh, it may make you cry, and I hope it makes you sing loud and believe in the Christmas spirit.
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.
-Buddy the Elf
Photo by David Beale on Unsplash
As 2023 comes to its final month, let us remember that endings equal new beginnings. We have another chance to welcome this new year with open arms. The end of the year is usually filled with hustle and bustle. We are all too busy to just relax and take in the holiday season. We are celebrating with office and holiday parties. We are shopping for the next best gift. We are winding down the school year and our kids are getting excited to go on break.
Although I would like to say to pause to sit down and watch a few Christmas movies on Hallmark or Netflix, I know it’s hard. My Heart and I have three days where we will be at our home in Florida where we could sit down and watch a movie or two. I realize that our movie time will probably end because we have tasks to do and the movies will be pushed off. But I am going to commit to taking two hours this holiday season and watching a movie! I hope that you will join me.
The holidays can be difficult for some. Many people have expectations and when those expectations are not met they become disappointed. They become upset that the day or the event didn’t go as they had planned in their mind. Therefore, they get in a mood and nothing can snap them out of it. Let’s try not to have expectations. Let’s try to just be present in the moment. If the fruitcake burns then let it burn. It is not the end of the world. Laugh about it and throw it away. Get some chocolate out of the cabinet and enjoy your dessert. Let the little things go.
Let’s commit to enjoying each other and not trying to outdo each other by buying things. I believe we probably all have enough “stuff”. Maybe volunteer your time to shop for those who don’t have enough. Donate one of your gifts to Toys for Tots. Let’s spread good cheer this holiday season.
The holidays can also be hard for some who have experienced loss. Remember, there are many things out of our control. All we can control is our reactions to them. Even though we miss our lost loved ones, let’s remember that they would want us to live and enjoy the family and friends we have left. Let’s enjoy those people who want to share in the holidays and memory-making with us. Let the others go. This is not the end. It is the beginning.
My wish for you this holiday season is to slow down, be in the moment, and laugh when the little things go wrong. Enjoy this time with your family and friends. Make special memories and take lots of pictures!
Happy Holidays!
Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash
The saying goes “opposites attract” but my Heart and I are anything but the opposite! Sometimes I think we are so much the same that we don’t know how to balance each other out. Therefore, we just go, go, go!
“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.”
— John Lubbock
The problem is we don’t know how to rest. We just go from one event to another. We always have something to do or someone to see. We always talk about how we should stay in one place for a longer period of time but then somehow it never happens. We both seem to be Yes People so it’s hard for us to say no.
The past month has been a perfect example of how we are nonstop. As you know we had such a great time in Park City that we purchased a townhouse that we are now renting on Airbnb. After several weeks of discussion, we decided to drive our Jeep out to our new home. We thought it would be the perfect vehicle as it’s four-wheel drive for the winter, and we can take the roof off in the summer. Our new house has a huge garage so even when renters come they will have room to park.
After a very long drive, my Heart and I worked very hard to get the house painted and cleaned. We had help from some amazing friends who let us borrow ladders and picked up a paintbrush to help us out. We did the walls by ourselves and then had someone come in and do the ceilings. After a week of painting, I have decided it’s probably more beneficial to pay someone to do the whole thing! We had no furniture as it was still on order. We did buy a TV so that we could watch sports as we worked. We slept on an air mattress with a borrowed blanket and some old sheets. But we fell in love with our new house even more.
The new house is in the perfect location. We are minutes from the Jordanelle Express Gondola at the world-renowned Deer Valley Ski Resort and minutes from the Jordanelle Reservoir Marina where you can boat, fish, ski, or paddleboard. Many people don’t think of Park City as a summer retreat but the summer is actually why we fell in love with it. The weather is amazing. The sun is always out. The hiking is unbelievable and the trails are never-ending. It’s also an amazing place to ride your motorcycle if you have one.
We flew to Florida after that week for an amazing Halloween Party and scavenger hunt. We met some new fun friends. Then we took off Sunday and flew to Pennsylvania to pick up our truck, motorcycle, and trailer. We spent one Sunday Fun day then got on the road to head back to Florida. We stopped in Virginia for a quick dinner and softball game with the family. My niece hit a home run her first time up to bat! I am so proud of the amazing player she has become. Then my Heart and I continued on for a few more hours.
We spent the night in North Carolina then pushed on to St. Augustine where we stayed with lifelong friends. We had too much fun and then left the next day. We made it home in time to have dinner with our oldest son. The next day we worked on unpacking and reorganizing our Florida home. We needed to get it opened up for the winter. We worked long and hard powerwashing the pool deck and the dock. We washed cars and cleaned out the garage. We were motivated to get the house back in order because….. we were leaving in two days for a 60th birthday party in Michigan.
Our friend, Jodie, was turning 60 and invited us up for a Swanky Sixtieth. I found a beautiful black dress and some high, high heels. I was excited to dress up and my cute Heart was ready to put his wedding suit back on. We flew in and saw friends we don’t usually see until ski season. We really enjoyed our weekend and had so much fun with Jodie, her friends, and family.
We flew back to Florida and continued working on the house. We wanted to get the yard beautiful and landscaped as the next weekend we were hosting a 60th birthday party for our friend, Tom, and we wanted it to look nice. It’s always good to have a reason to get things done. The party was a little bit of a surprise as he didn’t know who was coming into town or what we really had planned for him. He had friends coming in from all over Florida and one even flew in from Washington state. Some of these guys hadn’t seen each other in over 25 years.
Tom was super surprised and all of his friends were extremely grateful for the gathering. It was a wonderful weekend and even though it was a lot of work it was well worth it. I think my Heart had just as much fun as Tom and it wasn’t even his birthday. We had a great venue at Rusty’s in Cape Coral for happy hour on Friday night, a party at our house on Saturday, and then we went boating on Sunday. A perfect weekend in Florida.
But the journey continues. Why stay in Florida when we have another house to get ready for ski season? Therefore, Monday morning we got on a flight out to Salt Lake City. Most of our furniture was delivered and we were so excited to go to our house and see it. We couldn’t wait to sleep in a real bed in our new home!
We spent another week in Park City getting our new house decorated and ready to rent. We were hoping to get a last-minute Thanksgiving rental, but that hasn’t happened yet. We still have a few things to put together but we are very proud of the way it turned out. After another long week of endless days and social nights, we flew back to Florida. We had a great workout in the morning then went to a beautiful wedding at Sanibel Harbor Yacht Club. On Sunday we had brunch with our son and continued working on our Florida home.
My Heart had a few weeks off but yesterday he left to go back to work. Even though I am sad he is gone for the holiday, I am looking forward to a week of writing, working on Christmas projects, and laying in the sun. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. Be safe, have fun, and eat lots of turkey!
Autumn is such a beautiful time of year. The vibrant colors on the trees show us how magical nature is. Then it reminds us that you have to let things go. Don’t hold on to grudges. Don’t fixate on the past. Each year show your beautiful colors then let the things go that are holding you back.
“Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.”
-unknown
Picture of Autumn in Park City downloaded from a Facebook post.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about mindset and how it can impact our lives. I feel like two people can look at the same situation and have two completely different thoughts about it. Some look up at a beautiful blue sky and only see the sun while the person standing right beside them sees the one cloud in the sky and can only worry about when it is going to rain. It is very intriguing. I believe it comes down to our state of mind and how we view the events in our lives.
Depending on the circumstances thrown at us and the lessons we’ve learned, we have different ways of viewing and reacting to life’s circumstances. I think many times, we as humans, tend to lean towards the negative. Our brains seem to remember the bad times more than the good times. Why do we do that? According to the article below, psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. It’s easier to see and remember the negative because it has more of an impact on us. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort to stay positive.
My husband says it all the time… life is about making choices (and living with the consequences of those choices). We are thrown into many circumstances in life. We have hundreds of choices to make every day. Are we washing our hair? Going to the gym? Drinking beer? Smoking cigarettes? Using sugar in our coffee or almond milk? Are we trying to eat healthy or stopping at the fast food restaurant? These are all choices, and they all have consequences that go with them. If you decide to eat out at a fast food restaurant every day for lunch and you get a double cheeseburger and fries then most likely you are going to gain weight and health problems may occur. On the flip side, if you have an important test coming up and you study and understand the material, the consequence is likely a good grade. This is your choice, and we are all free to make them. So what is your mindset? What are your goals? What do you want out of life? And are you happy with the choices you are making?
A positive mindset isn’t just for those day-to-day decisions. It also determines how we will react to those bigger life circumstances. Remember, we cannot control the circumstances around us (the event) but we can control our REACTIONS to the situations. We may lose a loved one. We may get laid off from a job. We may have our car broken into. The question is how do we react to these situations? What is our mindset?
If we have a negative mindset then we can get down, be depressed, blame others, and not take responsibility for our own lives. Yes, it’s ok to be sad sometimes. But we need to pick ourselves up. If we lose our job we can blame our employer, our family, or the economy. We can believe it is the worst thing that ever happened to us. We can sit at home and sulk about how terrible life is. OR we can take responsibility, change our mindset, and we can say wow this is a wonderful opportunity to go back to school, learn a new skill, or start our own business.
Having a positive mindset can be challenging. Sometimes it takes therapy. Maybe it takes good friends to help you realize life is not all bad. It definitely takes a conscious effort and hard work. The thing we need to realize is we cannot blame others for our situations, and we cannot compare our lives to others. Every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, death, disappointment, and sadness. And every single one of us has a different reaction to those experiences. Some of us have done the work and are striving for the silver lining. We cannot blame them. It does not mean they haven’t forgotten or that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It just means they are consciously reframing the negative thoughts in their head and striving for positive outcomes. We need to look within ourselves and see if we are stuck in a negative mindset. Then we need to decide what WE can do individually to help ourselves.
Just because “bad” things happen, doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. It just means there a different road is ahead and now we have a choice. Are we going to be strong and recover from the setback or are we going to continue letting circumstances control us? If we believe our life sucks then it will. If we see the world in a negative way we need to try to turn our thinking around as this helpful article suggests. Remember:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
Our mindset is the most critical piece of the puzzle. How we view our life and its’ circumstances is under our control. Believing in ourselves and trying to find the silver lining is well within us. We just need to do the work and change the way we see things.
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash
I learned as a caregiver that even though your loved one needs you, you need to take care of yourself, your needs, and your happiness first. Then you will be able to shine brightly for your loved one. We need to learn our internal selves are what we need to prioritize. Everything else after that will fall into place.
“If you make your internal life a priority, then everything else you need on the outside will be given to you and it will be extremely clear what the next step is.”
— Gabrielle Bernstein
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
I try to write inspiring and uplifting posts, but sometimes I need to write about the sad stuff. Life is too short to hold grudges, be mad, sad, or down on yourself. But sometimes you can get in a funk and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out of it. That’s why it’s important to have a sound support system. Sometimes you need some positive reinforcement from your friends or family.
It’s hard to be positive especially when you’ve been hit with tragic events over and over. Losing a loved one, losing your job, losing your partner to divorce or separation, becoming distant from your family, or not hearing from your best friend can be huge downers. These are life circumstances. They are sad, and no one ever said it would be easy.
Yes, we can get down on ourselves. We can feel left out. We can feel depressed or pissed off. And yes, sometimes you need to sit in your private space, be sad, and have a good cry. Let it all out. Scream. Shout. Tell the world it’s not fair. Tell God you are upset. But then you need to pull yourself together and search deep within your soul. What has got you down? What has caused the feelings inside of you? Remember, we can only control our reactions to the circumstances that are thrown at us.
Over the years, I have lost several of my family members. I could be down and mad at the world. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I wonder why our family? Why did my sister have to go? Why isn’t my dad here with us anymore? And that’s okay. I am allowed to be sad sometimes. But I have to realize I cannot control their death. I cannot bring them back. I can only control how I react to the situation. I can only learn from their death that life is so very short and that one day I will reconnect with them. Until then why shouldn’t I try to be positive and spread kindness in this world? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the days I have left on this Earth? Why shouldn’t I try to experience all this world has to offer?
And maybe my circumstances are different than others. I don’t have to work full-time or stay in one place for an extended period. And for me, that is what I enjoy. I love living the gypsy life! Even if you have a job or need to stay in one place you can make it an adventure. Treat your city as if you are a tourist. What can you explore on your days off? Can you rent a bike and take a ride? Can you take a Sunday drive and head out into the country or to a park to enjoy the peacefulness? There are ways to make the world around you a wonderful place. You just need to start with you. What do you enjoy?
Remember, you have to do what makes you happy and what you have control over. Waiting for your best friend to call isn’t something you can control. You need to reach out or you need to move on. You cannot control your best friend. Waiting for the man of your dreams to show up on your doorstep isn’t going to happen either. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. It’s scary and intimidating, but taking that first step is the hardest. But I promise it will be worth it!
It is also important to have friends that inspire you. It is important to have friends that are there for you through the good and bad times. It is important to have a friend you can call when you are down. Hopefully, your friends can pick you up when you are sad. Sometimes friends can be more understanding and supportive than your family. That’s why it’s important to choose friends who lift you up. My Prince and I are blessed with the best of friends.
In the end, it is okay to be sad sometimes, but please don’t let that sadness ruin your life. Life is too short, my friends. Turn your circumstances around. Find a powerful, uplifting song! Find a better, happier place for you within you. Take control of your life and make it the best life it can be! Take the Leap of Faith and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do!
Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
Some people choose to live life muddled, scared, and defeated. Life does not have to be that way. Life is messy but YOU have a choice of how you want to live. Don’t let life beat you down. Stand up and live it your way.
“You make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You draw your own box.”
— Duchess Meghan
Photo by Andrey Trush on Unsplash
Today would have been 99 years for Gram. Wow. What an amazing life. Even though she only made it to 96 1/2 she showed people what it meant to be alive. I miss her so much and wish I could kiss her sweet little face and help her celebrate her day.
99 years. Can you even imagine? I remember when I was a little kid looking up at my parents and thinking they were so old. I calculate the ages they were then and now I am older than they were! Oh, how times have changed because clearly, 47 is not so old anymore!
As I sit here and contemplate all the losses I’ve had over the past 11 years, I think what a difference in ages of all my people’s deaths. Dad was 60. My uncle was 61. My grandpa thrived until 90. My sister was just getting started at 38. And Gram was called up at 96. Why do the numbers make us feel that some people missed out while others lived a full life? Does it make it better that they are older when they go? And why? Is it true that my grandparents lived a full life while my sister and my dad missed out? Just because they only lived to be 38 and 60 does it mean they were incomplete? Or did they find love and happiness and did they pass onto the next adventure complete and full?
I don’t know the answers. I know how I feel and I know what the Medium told me when I connected with them. I feel like the older we are the more we get to see, the more we get to experience, and the more we get to do. But what if you find happiness at a young age? Or what if you never explore anything at all? Is your life still complete because that’s the way you wanted to live it? Why do we feel bad for those who had to leave this world at a young age? Why do we feel bad when anyone has to leave this world at all? If we believe there is something more then we truly should be celebrating that those souls are in the most peaceful and magical place. So why does it hurt so bad? And why does our grief overwhelm us at times? I think we are really sad for ourselves because we feel incomplete without our people, and we can’t get past the fact that they are okay without us.
All I know is that I miss my people and sometimes it hits harder than on other days. I need to do a better job of recognizing the signs from Heaven that they send me. I know when we meet again it will be amazing and even though sometimes I feel sorry for myself because they are not here, I know I need to celebrate that they are in a better place.
So here’s to you, Gram, we wish you a happy birthday and hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your 99 years up there with the family. We miss you all terribly and can’t wait until we can all celebrate together again. Until then we will toast you and look for those signs. Have the happiest of birthdays, sweet gram!
I believe the theme of this blog is that life is short. Choose to live a life full of adventure and fun! Have some great stories for your grandchildren when they are sitting in your lap in that rocking chair.
“Be courageous. Challenge orthodoxy. Stand up for what you believe in. When you are in your rocking chair talking to your grandchildren many years from now, be sure you have a good story to tell.”
— Amal Clooney
Photo by Ian Noble on Unsplashandpma