I don’t know how many times to say it but life is short. Why live a life you don’t enjoy? Make the time to make changes and make the life you want. Reinvent yourself to make your dreams a reality.
If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you are eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.
~ Kevin Ngo
Photo by Brooke Campbell on Unsplash
About two months ago, I had my very first session with a medium. I had never really thought about talking to one or trying to connect with my lost loved ones, but after two different people mentioned the word medium to me in a week, I figured it was time to try.
According to Wikipedia, Mediumship is “the practice of purportedly mediating communication between familiar spirits or spirits of the dead and living human beings.” I have heard of mediums before but I guess I wasn’t really sure if they could truly connect. Even though I believe in spirits and angels and that there are signs from Heaven, I thought many mediums were scammers who took advantage of others, especially those in deep grief.
But it all started the first week of January 2023. We stopped by a friend’s house, and she was telling me how she reconnected with an old friend who was a medium. I was intrigued and for the first time, I wondered if she would be able to connect with my family.
The next week, at my volunteer training at Valerie’s House, I met a wonderful woman. She told me she and her mother were having difficulty with the passing of her brother. They contacted a medium named Jake Samoyedny. My friend said he performed the session via Zoom and it was awesome. She said it was totally worth it and helped both of them so much on their grief journey.
After hearing of this experience, I decided I needed to give it a try. I wanted my mother and me to do it together because, like most mothers who have lost a child, she continues to struggle with the loss of my sister. I scheduled a session for the last week in January when my mom would be in Florida, and we could do it together.
A couple of days later I started thinking, and I decided I wanted a session by myself before ours together. We were out on a ski trip in Taos, NM so one morning I decided to skip skiing and have a Zoom call with this medium in New York.
Honestly, I was blown away. He was able to connect with most of my family. Gram came first. She said she was very grateful to Jeff and me for taking care of her. She said she never wanted to be a burden and that we didn’t make her feel like one. The interesting thing is burden is a word Gram used all the time. So it had to be her! The medium said Gram was in the spiritual world just bragging about me. That made me feel so happy. She also said that she was ready to go at the end, and that I didn’t need to feel any guilt. She and grandpa were happy and singing up in Heaven. My heart was relieved.
Next, my sister came into the call. She too had faced the fact that her time here on Earth was done. Her job in the spiritual world is meeting babies who have passed too early and don’t have anyone up there to “receive them”. She puts her arms around these young spirits and welcomes them into the spiritual world until their families are found. I expected nothing less from my gentle-hearted sister.
My dad was there too because he kept flashing the Steelers logo, but at the time I didn’t realize it. He was always quiet so I wasn’t surprised that he let my gram and sister do all the talking. Just his presence was enough for me.
Some of the things Jake, the medium, knew I couldn’t believe. I know much of my life is an open book and there is a lot of information on my blog. Now he had a week to Google me and learn all about me but does he do that for every person? And what if you don’t have an online presence? He didn’t ask me for any information, but he knew so many things. It seems the spirits portrayed information to him such as Gram and Gramp’s dates of death, my ex-husband’s name, a guy who passed in our 20s, my sister as Wonder Woman, my uncle’s Polish name which was Stasiu and that Jeff was right by my side supporting me in this life. I just can’t believe that he could have found some of that information.
Towards the end of the session, the medium gave me a bit of much-needed therapy. He told me that I need to be a Yes, Woman which is hard to believe that I should say yes to more! But it seems I am clearly on the right path. He also told me to keep writing. He says I may even be able to write a book! Therefore, one of these days look for me on the bookshelves.
After my session with the medium I felt like I was flying! I felt amazing and unstoppable. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. My family was happy and at peace. They had no regrets and didn’t feel I needed to regret any actions I took or didn’t take. I needed to believe that I did the absolute best I could for them. Now I need to believe that I need to do the best for myself and my family. Jeff and I try to live our lives to the fullest and it gave me encouragement to continue our path. It also made me feel like I really could write a book that people might buy. Honestly, I have always wanted to be an author. It must have been my Honors English teacher, Mrs. Erdos, who put the love of writing into my brain. I couldn’t wait to start.
Whether you all believe there is something out there or not, I have to believe I will see my family again. I have to believe they are happy and content and having the best time wherever they are. I have to believe that even though the process of dying may be devasting, death itself is instant and the soul is lifted up into a state of unconditional love and peace in the blink of an eye.
If you have a lost loved one and would like to see if you can connect, I highly suggest using Jake. He records the session for you so you can listen to it over and over. He seems to understand the spiritual world and can help if you are struggling with the loss of your loved one. He says there are signs that they send us. Make sure you look for signs of your lost loved one. They truly are all around us.
Photo by Omkar Jadhav on Unsplash
It’s your choice. How do you want to live? There is beauty all around us. It’s up to you to find it and appreciate it.
If you want to, you can find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world. Or, if you want to, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy. Choose wisely.
~ Cari Welsh
Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
In February, I shared my Letter from Gram. She has been gone just over two years. I still miss her like crazy, and I wish that the people who did not have the chance to meet her could know her somehow. Therefore, I will continue to try to keep her spirit alive by sharing wonderful memories of her and our adventures together. St. Patty’s Day is especially memorable for me as a wonderful group of people renamed it St. Gram’s Day.
Two years ago, My Hubby and I skipped the International ski week (which was canceled anyway due to Covid), and we planned a trip to Jackson Hole, WY. It was a beautiful little town and the view from the top of the mountain was the fantastic. However, the most memorable experience for me was with my amazing ski friends during an apes ski get together. We all had gathered on the deck of our hotel for a post ski day St. Patty’s celebration. Little did I know, this group of about 20 people (led by two fantastic people) had shirts made with Gram’s picture in the Instagram logo with the phrase “Do It For The Gram” (which is apparently a slang for taking photos for Instagram). My husband gave a little speech, and they all unzipped their jackets simultaneously. And there she was! Gram, our Matriarch, and her sweet little smile.
This week of St. Patty’s Day, we are out in Colorado skiing Copper Mountain and Aspen Snowmass. We have a smaller group than usual because many of the airlines went to Norway for the international ski week and competition. Our team decided not to go. Therefore, several of us decided to ski together at these two mountains.
Even though not everyone will remember Gram or what this group of people did, I will never forget the meaningful gesture these folks put together for me. Many of them had the pleasure of knowing sweet gram while some did not. But they all were more than willing to put on her sweet face.
These are the kinds of friends that will forever remain in my heart. I may only see them on ski weeks and may only get to have a beer or two with them throughout the week but their kindheartedness will forever live in my memory. Their love for us and for Gram is beyond comparison.
This St. Patrick’s week along with all the ones in the future will forever hold a special place in my heart. I can’t thank you enough sweet husband of mine and amazing friends for making that trip so special and for keeping Gram’s memory alive.
I know sometimes it’s hard to just be happy, but being mad, holding grudges, and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t the way to live. Life is so short. Do your best to live this life as happily as you can.
It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.
~ Power of Positivity
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
As you read a few weeks ago, I went to a #LEGS event in December and learned more about the game of golf and met some wonderful women. At that event, one of the group leaders spoke of the local nonprofit that #LEGS supports called Valerie’s House. The organization is for children who have lost a parent or sibling. It is to help them through their grief journey.
I couldn’t help but think the loss of my sister, my niece and nephew, and I immediately knew I had to get involved. I went to training the next month to become a volunteer. Although I couldn’t commit to running a grief support group, I am going to become a mentor and help serve dinner a few nights a month while we are in Fort Myers.
Valerie’s House was started by Angela Melvin who lost her mother in a car accident when she was 10 years old. Check out this video. She started the organization in memory of her mother, Valerie. She wanted to help children who have suffered a loss in their grief journey. She knew how hard it was as a child to go through such a devastating loss, and she felt that creating a safe place for families would be of great value to the community.
She wanted families to know they are not alone in their grief journey. She wanted children to know that other children have suffered loss as well. She also knew that every child is different and every grief journey is unique. She developed a place for these families to get together, have support, and share stories in their extreme times of need. The statistics are just staggering. One in 12 children in Florida will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Children need to know they are not alone.
My time at Valerie’s House has been absolutely amazing. Everyone in our training group had a special person in their life who had died. All different stories, all different ages, all different grief journeys, but every one of us wanted to help and support others who have also suffered a great loss. It is hard but death is inevitable. How we deal with the death of others is unique. No matter how it appears on the outside, we all carry grief with us on the inside. Many times we can be happy and enjoy life but other days grief can hit you like a truck and you can’t stop crying. I am thankful there are organizations out there like Valerie’s House to help people who have suffered loss, especially at a young age.
Even though I have been involved in volunteer activities throughout my life such as Special Olympics and Virginia Organizing Project, I believe this one may become one of the most meaningful. Since Gram passed I have been looking for a volunteer opportunity, and I am so thankful I was in the right place at the right time to find this one. I hope that even if you don’t have time to volunteer on a regular basis maybe you will be inspired to volunteer once or twice a year for a cause in which you believe!
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Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.
For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.
Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash
I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.
Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.
It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.
So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?
What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.
It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.
I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.
It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!
Photo by Millo Lin on Unsplash
For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.
Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash
I have written a few posts about my husband, My Prince, My Rock, and My Valentine. As you know relationships, especially marriages are not perfect. They take work and communication, and sometimes therapy. But relationships are what make the world go round. They are what makes this life worth living. They are how we learn about love, compromise, and decision-making. Relationships are how we grow and learn throughout our lives. Even though our marriage is not perfect, Jeff and I are dedicated to making it the most adventurous, beautiful ride we can. We believe we need to grow and learn together. We need to support each other on whatever adventures come our way!
This Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to tell someone you love how much they mean to you. Whether it’s a spouse, a significant other, a best friend, or just someone who once meant something to you. Take a few moments to send them a message about how much you care.
Valentine’s Day can be lonely for many people. It can make people who are single feel sad because they are alone and don’t have a Valentine. It can make couples feel pressure to go to dinner or spend too much money on roses that are overpriced. It can make people in relationships disappointed if their loved one doesn’t remember the holiday. Whatever this Day means to you, try to remember you don’t need to be sad, lonely, or disappointed. Love is all around you. And the first person you should love is yourself.
Maybe today you take some time to pamper yourself. Maybe you take a nice, hot bubble bath. Maybe you get dressed up and treat yourself to a nice dinner out. Maybe you go to your garden and pick yourself a bouquet of flowers. Maybe you draw or paint a picture. Whatever your passion, do something for yourself.
If you are in a relationship, spend some quality time with your loved one. Turn off the TV. Turn off the phone. Spend some time focusing on each other with no distractions. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or do anything fancy. Maybe play cards or play a game. Maybe read to each other or take a walk in a park. Whatever you do make time for one another.
Maybe today you get together with your friends. Maybe you go see a movie or watch a movie on Netlflix. Maybe you and a friend go for a walk or make dinner together. Maybe you aren’t in the same town so take a moment to FaceTime each other or talk on the phone.
Today, I will be at the top of a mountain in Steamboat Springs with my love and my ski friends. We will enjoy the beauty of this world from high on the hilltop. Even though it will be cold and snowy, we will appreciate the view, and we will thank God that we are physically able to ski down a mountain.
Whatever you decide to do today, let your heart be filled with love. Love yourself, love your partner, and love this life. We are only here for a little while so enjoy yourself!
I write a lot about my sister’s children because I feel so close to them and they are such an important part of my life. Sometimes I forget that we have five more nieces and nephews on my husband’s side of the family. Three of them are beginning adulthood and making lives for themselves, as are our sons. They are starting their careers and continuing their education. Some have significant others in their lives and some don’t. They are talented young people, and although they don’t call me Aunt Stacy, I am proud to be just that.
We also have two younger nieces. They are the most beautiful little girls inside and out. They are talented, smart, funny, and full of curiosity. We love spending time with them just as much as we love spending time with my sister’s children. I love hearing them call me Aunt Stacy, and I love watching their eyes light up when they tell a joke, and we laugh out loud. I also love braiding their hair and getting their gifts of love such as drawings and notes.
These two are seven and nine. They love spending time with their grandparents in the summer, and they do a week-long stay called “Camp Mo Mo”. During this “camp”, they spend time at the beach, do art projects, go to the pier, and eat too much ice cream (which was one of my favorite things to do with Sweet Gram!). Their parents get a little break and the girls get to spend some valuable time with their grandparents. I am thinking I need to start a “Camp Aunt Stacy.”
Because I never had children of my own, I get attached to these little people. I love their energy and their amazing spirit. I love how all of my younger nieces and nephews laugh with such innocence. They have no cares or worries. They are just happy being happy. They don’t need anything material. Just love.
Over the summer, we spent some time with our nieces at the beach. We walked through a cute little beach town and did some shopping. Their mom teaches them how to stay healthy by eating well. We showed them how to stay active by participating in a little workout on their grandparents’ deck. They were full of energy and loved doing burpees (I mean what child wouldn’t lol). They called me Aunt Stacy the whole time. They rode on my shoulders as well as my husband’s. They couldn’t get enough of us, and we couldn’t get enough of them.
I assume my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law as well as their significant others would really enjoy some time off from parenting and responsibility. I hope I can get these four little people together this year and host a “Camp Aunt Stacy” at our home in Florida. We will do crafts, play card games like “kings on the corner”, swim in the pool, and hopefully get Uncle Jeff to take us out on the boat.
Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy can become a yearly tradition. Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy will be a traveling camp of different experiences for these little people in different places. Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy will be as memorable for them as I know it will be for me. So, keep your fingers crossed, and let’s get Camp Aunt Stacy started!
It’s a new year. What do you want yours to look like? Are you happy where you are? Would you like to try something new? Then take the chance, make the changes, and change your story.
“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”
—Alex Morritt
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash