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My Prince

January 26, 2021 4 Comments

My Prince… Finally! After All Those Frogs

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Stacy. Her mom read her princess stories like Cinderella and Snow White. She watched movies like 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club. She believed in love and believed one day she would find her Prince.

The High School Years

Stacy “liked” boys in grade school, but it was grade school so it wasn’t anything serious. In 7^thgrade, she was swept away by an older guy, and they were together for three years. While she had a great experience with him, she missed out on dances and a lot of girly things during those middle school years. During high school, she dated on and off but was more interested in hanging with her friends, especially her best friend, Missy, than anything else. She wanted to be free to discover and experience all high school had to offer.

The College Years

In college, Stacy thought for sure she would find “her prince”. She dated a guy for about a year, but it just didn’t work out. After that, she continued to enjoy her friends and all the experiences college had to offer.

After college, she moved to California and then to Virginia. Stacy dated here and there, but she was one of those girls who would rather do what she wanted to do rather than be in a relationship and have to compromise. She just couldn’t be with someone who annoyed her within the first month. So she stayed single and enjoyed life.

The Richmond Years

When she was 23, she met a guy and thought maybe this was her prince. They spent a couple of years together, got married, then got divorced. Nope, just another frog. After that, Stacy started reading a blog called “The Spinsterlicious Life” because that clearly seemed to be the path she was on. In one of the posts, Eleonore Wells wrote about how there are relationship people and there are single people. She said you are either better at being annoyed (in relationships) or you are better at being lonely (single).

That post rang true to Stacy. She discovered she definitely was a single person. She realized all this time of dating that she was just better at being lonely than being annoyed. It made so much sense! Therefore, she played sports, she traveled, and she spent time with friends and family. She was still on her journey to find her prince, but she wasn’t sure he was going to find her.

The Best Years

Once she started caregiving for Gram, she really wondered if there was anyone out there. Who would take on her, let alone her, her grandmother, and a cat? She decided there probably wasn’t a lot of hope so she made a commitment to enjoy herself, the opportunities that presented themselves, and her time with Gram.

Then it happened. She met him. Instead of pushing things too hard or worrying too much, she tried to have the motto “if it’s meant to be it will be”. She hoped it would be, but she also knew her life circumstances may prevent that.

Funny how just the opposite happened. Her life circumstances led her to him. And enabled her to spend more time with him than her previous life circumstances would have allowed. She found a guy who was willing AND able to make the distance between them short. She found a guy who was willing to love her, her grandmother, and the cat(mostly)! She found a guy who somehow loved her for her. She didn’t pretend to be anyone else. She found a guy who was willing to listen. She found someone who loved many of the same things she did…traveling, working out, eating right, being outside, boating, trying new things, and striving to be better every day. She found her Prince!

Stacy is so blessed to be where she is today. To be with a man who loves her with his whole heart and who tries every day to make her life a little easier. To be able to care for her Grandmother who makes her day brighter by making some funny comments in the bathroom. To be able to live in two different states and have amazing friends and family in both. To be able to pursue her dream and write this blog. To be able to tell you, you might have to kiss a lot of frogs but someday you WILL find your Prince.

In Pilot's Wife

Our Anniversary

January 5, 2021 No Comments

I know I said I wasn’t going to post this week, but I thought I would share a few thoughts about our day. We spent our actual anniversary with a few of our closest friends at our annual New Year’s Eve party (which we may still be recovering from). But this weekend, we were able to actually spend some quality time together. It is very important to spend quality time together as you read in “The 5 Love Languages“.

After the wedding, we put a bottle of wine, our vows, the shower cards, and the wedding cards into a wooden box we received from my uncle. We determined we would open it on our first anniversary and drink the bottle of wine.

After our friends left, and we got the house back into some kind of order, we decided to have a nice anniversary dinner and open our box. It was a wonderful evening. We had stone crabs and a bottle of our wedding wine which was Witching Hour. We read the cards all over again, which were so pretty and sweet. In the end, we read our vows to each other again. Saying and hearing them again made us both a bit tearful.

Although it was a nice, simple evening, it was very meaningful. We took the time to just sit with each other and remember what a wonderful day our wedding was and how we are so blessed by amazing friends and family members. We can’t thank you enough for being a part of our day. Here’s to a fresh start and a brand new year. Let’s make some more memories!

Now, what to put in the box for next year?!!

In Pilot's Wife

New Year’s Eve!

December 29, 2020 2 Comments

Since we met in 2017, Jeff and I have had an annual New Year’s Eve Party. The first one we had, we had only been dating for a few months but it was about the time we fell in love. I didn’t know many people at the party, but I was excited to meet his friends. The second year, Gram and I had moved to Florida for the winter so I was getting to know more people. We had a few of our mutual friends then one of mine came over with one of his from Lauderdale. It ended up being a small party but still lasted into the morning hours. The next day, we took our house guests out on a boat ride. It was so much fun, and I was so happy to be living in Florida for the winter. And I loved being on the boat on New Year’s Day.

The third New Year’s Eve party (2019) ended up being our wedding. We decided to get married at 8:30 am because the sun rises behind our house, and we wanted to get married on our new dock. We were surrounded by family, friends, and the most amazing weather. I could not have asked for a more perfect day or a more perfect man for me.

After the ceremony, we had a brunch reception around our pool catered by Lena and Chris from Global Event Marketplace. By noon, most of the guests had left, but a few out-of-towners stayed and relaxed by the pool for the afternoon. That evening we had our annual New Year’s Eve party/evening reception. There was plenty of singing, dancing, and laughing.

I can’t believe it’s been almost one year. Even though 2020 has been a bit challenging, we have had a great time being married. We continue to incorporate The 5 Love Languages into our relationship, and we had an awesome time celebrating our monthaversary in a different state every month until Covid-19 hit and traveling came to a brief halt. We went skiing in Park City and Steamboat Springs in January. Then in February, we went to Las Vegas to celebrate our cousin’s 50^th birthday. In March, we were in Virginia to see the family. In April and May, we stayed in Florida but got dive certified as you read in “Break from Gram” and experienced another world underwater.

In June, we made our annual trek from Florida through Virginia to Pennsylvania to Gram’s house, aka our summer home. We did a lot of outdoor activities such as kayaking, bonfires, and go-cart racing with our friends, and maybe a few craft beers from some of our amazing local breweries.

Over the summer, Jeff’s boys, sister, and niece came to visit us for a few days. We showed them our country lifestyle but also drove them to Cleveland to tour the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Even though a few displays were shut down because of Covid, it was still a really awesome experience.

In the fall, we traveled back down to Florida via Virginia. Florida welcomed us with open arms as we fell right back into boating and our Florida way of life. Throughout the year, we had a few scary moments with Gram, but together we pushed through.

All in all, I must say it’s been a wonderful first year of marriage. Although we haven’t gone on an official honeymoon yet, we went to several new places and went on some amazing adventures together. This man has been my rock and my support. He always knows what I need and checks on me when he knows I am getting frustrated or overwhelmed.

I know they say opposites attract and there are definitely things we disagree on, but for the most part, I think he is the male version of myself. And I couldn’t have asked for anything better. We both are willing to help each other out. We don’t keep score of who did what or who made dinner or did the dishes. We both see things that need done and do them. We also are both up for any adventure, and although it is has been slightly limited in 2020, we made the best of it. I can’t wait to celebrate with him on New Year’s Eve and to see what the future has in store for us.

So as New Year Eve approaches and our anniversary nears, I want to say thank you for your loyalty and support as my blog is four months old! Don’t forget to comment and share on social media. Also, as you reflect on the past year, try this exercise below to put things in perspective as Tim Ferris suggests in his “5 Bullet Fridays“. Cherish your family and friends and don’t wait until the time is right. Live life to the fullest always.

Well, friends, it’s time to focus on my hubby and get ready for our annual New Year Eve gathering. Therefore, Tuesday and Friday posts may be missing in the next week or two. Weekly Wednesday Workouts will continue as scheduled. Happy New Year!

Last year, around this time, many of you found the text below helpful. I am including it again, as this what I do every year. Have a wonderful NYE!

I’m often asked about how I approach New Year’s resolutions. The truth is that I no longer approach them at all, even though I did for decades. Why the change? I have found “past year reviews” (PYR) more informed, valuable, and actionable than half-blindly looking forward with broad resolutions. I did my first PYR after a mentor’s young daughter died of cancer on December 31st, roughly eight years ago, and I’ve done it every year since. It takes 30-60 minutes and looks like this:

Grab a notepad and create two columns: POSITIVE and NEGATIVE.
Go through your calendar from the last year, looking at every week.
For each week, jot down on the pad any people or activities or commitments that triggered peak positive or negative emotions for that month. Put them in their respective columns.
Once you’ve gone through the past year, look at your notepad list and ask, “What 20% of each column produced the most reliable or powerful peaks?”
Based on the answers, take your “positive” leaders and schedule more of them in the new year. Get them on the calendar now! Book things with friends and prepay for activities/events/commitments that you know work. It’s not real until it’s in the calendar. That’s step one. Step two is to take your “negative” leaders, put “NOT-TO-DO LIST” at the top, and put them somewhere you can see them each morning for the first few weeks of 2021. These are the people and things you *know* make you miserable, so don’t put them on your calendar out of obligation, guilt, FOMO, or other nonsense.

That’s it! If you try it, let me know how it goes.

And just remember: it’s not enough to remove the negative. That simply creates a void. Get the positive things on the calendar ASAP, lest they get crowded out by the bullshit and noise that will otherwise fill your days. Good luck and godspeed!

In Family

Signs from Heaven

September 8, 2020 1 Comment

Some days it just hits you. Some days it’s a picture that pops up in your memories. Some days it’s a funny story you want to share. Some days it’s a cardinal that sits outside your window. Some days it’s a vivid dream. When you are open to it, there are signs from Heaven everywhere.

My grandparents always told me that when a cardinal was around it was a sign from Heaven. After some research on Ecosia, I found an article that stated “many people believe when a cardinal lands in your yard, an angel is near. Cardinals can remind you of a departed loved one and are known as the most notable spiritual messenger”. At our home in Pennsylvania, we have a bird feeder outside of our kitchen window. Every few weeks, we have cardinals that stop by for a bite to eat. Gram and I truly believe our lost loved ones are nearby, and Gram gets so happy when she sees them. These signs from Heaven seem to appear especially when we are feeling down, and they make us feel better.

I was working on the blog this summer and was getting more and more nervous as the launch date was approaching. For some reason, I started going through my old emails. I was trying to clear away some digital clutter and another sign from Heaven appeared. I had stumbled upon some old emails from my sister. At that moment, I was kind of shocked and in disbelief to see her name as the sender. I was also very relieved I hadn’t deleted them!

The few I read brought tears to my eyes. I miss her so much. I would write to her when I was feeling down, when I needed advice, and when I had good news to share. She would do the same. As you read in “Why I Launched on August 8”, I lost my sister, my best friend, a little over two years ago, and there will always be a hole in my heart where she belongs.

When I decided to quit my job and move to Thailand, she was my biggest supporter. She wrote in an email, “I am very supportive of you leaving and pursuing your dream. You have to do what is right for you.” It reminded me that I do have to follow my heart and my dreams. Another one stated, “Confidence, confidence, confidence! You just have to believe! Just remember that you are an amazing woman!” Those words were exactly what I needed. I believe it was her way of sending me encouragement from Heaven. I realize I have lots of love and support from my AMAZING husband, friends, and family, but having my sister’s support was number one, and it hurts my heart that she isn’t here to give me her words of advice.

When you lose loved ones you can give up. You can cry every day. You can blame God. You can blame others. I can’t tell you why these terrible things happen to very wonderful people. All I can tell you is that they are still with you and watching over you, so look for those signs from Heaven. Which ones have you seen?

I believe I will see my family again someday and that gives me hope. I also realize I can’t go on not living because I have lost. All I can do is realize life is very, very short and it can be gone in a blink of an eye. So be happy. Take steps to make changes if you are not. Enjoy life. Smile a lot. Take time for the little things. Don’t wait until tomorrow. And don’t wait for someone else to do it for you.