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Just because you don’t keep going back to a certain situation doesn’t mean you are upset or unloving. It just means you have decided that situation does not make your heart happy. It means you do not feel good about yourself in that situation. And if this is the case then it is okay to leave that situation and choose a different path.

Refusal to return to a situation doesn’t mean you harbor animosity or are incapable of forgiving. It merely means you see the situation for what it is and have chosen a different path.

~ Naomi Carr

Photo by Jens Lelie on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

A few weeks ago, I wrote about all the wonderful girlfriends in my life. I have known most of these women for a long time. Therefore, we have been through several stages of life together. We have gone through elementary school, the awkward middle school years, the fun high school years, and then into adulthood. Some of us got married, some had children, and some of us went to college. Sometimes we went our separate ways, but eventually, we found our way back into each other’s lives.

These women are some of the toughest women I know. They aren’t afraid to take chances. They aren’t afraid to go somewhere by themselves. They aren’t afraid to try new things. I have found that almost all of my closest friends pride themselves on being independent and being able to take care of themselves and their families.

As we go through life we learn lessons whether by choice or by circumstance. Even my girlfriends who are married still have a sense of independence. One of my best friends tells her husband, “I don’t NEED you, I WANT you by my side.” Isn’t that how it should be?  Many of us don’t NEED each other. We like having people by our side. We like having companionship. We like having someone to talk to in the morning. But if someone wasn’t there somehow we would survive. Maybe we would have to work a little harder to get where we want to go, but we’d figure it out.

Sometimes it’s hard to compromise and allow yourself to be taken care of, especially if you have been single for a long time or if you have had to do a lot of things on your own. You learned how to make your own money, you learned how to unclog your own toilet, and you learned how to smash that big bug on your floor. So once you take that step and say “I do” you have to learn the art of compromise and communication to make that marriage work. I have known many people who are married yet very lonely.

As you know it took me a while to find My Prince. What I was afraid of was giving up my independence or losing myself. The best thing about being a Pilot’s Wife is when he goes to work for long periods of time I need to make decisions about household items, I need to fix things that may break, and I need to kill little creatures who try to invade our home. But when he is home, he gets to squash the bugs, handle the decisions, and fix the things that have gone wrong.

What I see in all of us women is sometimes a dilemma. Many of us were independent women for a period of time. We developed our routine, we became set in our ways, and we learned how to be alone and not lonely.

Eventually what we need to learn is how to let others take care of us. Sometimes it’s so hard and because we were so independent we see this as weak. We know we can do all of it on our own. Why would we need help? We don’t need anyone to put gas in our car. We don’t need anyone to help us run the power tools. We don’t need anyone to get the glass on the top shelf for us.

But what we need to learn is that it is okay to let another person treat us right. It is okay for your husband to wash your car for you. It is okay for your friend to take your car and fill it with gas. It is okay for your partner to get that glass down that you couldn’t reach without a step stool.

princess wedding dressEven though it’s hard we need to learn grace. We also need to realize that we all are getting older. We all may face a point in time when we are not physically able to take care of ourselves. We need to learn that is okay to ask for help and it is okay to let someone else do things for us. We need to let these generous humans take care of us. It’s what they truly want to do. Sometimes we need to let our significant others treat us like the princesses we dreamed we were destined to become when we were little.

So the next time your partner offers to make you a cup of coffee in the morning say, “Wow babe, that would be awesome, thank you” instead of channeling your independent self and saying, “No, that’s okay I can do it.”  Allowing yourself to be spoiled from time to time doesn’t make you less of an independent woman. Let’s learn to find that balance because someday even if we don’t want to, we may need to rely on others for help.

Photo by Doug Tunison on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As you have read, My Rock and I go skiing once a month from December through April. On these ski weeks, most of the airlines compete by racing down the mountain on skis or a snowboard. Although our team does not race, we enjoy the spirit of friendship and fun that occurs throughout the week. We like to ski together and relax on the mountain.

Each week NAASF gives awards to the racers in different levels and spirit trophy events. At the end of every season, they give the most important and prestigious award called the “Spirit of NAASF Award”. This award goes to someone who exemplifies the passion for skiing as well as the spirit of friendship and camaraderie. The winner gets a plague as well as a HUGE trophy to display for the year. My Valentine received over 13 nominations for the award and was given the award at Palisades in March 2022. Here are just a few excerpts from those nominations.

  1. In 2013, Jeff, our team president, took over the reins of this club and made it his personal goal to expand the club’s presence at the NAASF events. Although we may not take the racing events too seriously, we all love the snow, camaraderie, happy hour, and costume parties at these events. It takes an extreme amount of his personal time to coordinate events, members, lodging, dues, etc. He has grown the group from 1 participant to a huge mailing list, and many active participants (142 on the mailing list!!!).  We even now have a logo, team flag, team uniforms, and patches.
  2. team uniforms
  3. I nominate Jeff for having grown his club from one person in 2013 to now 120 members on the email roster and usually 20 to 30 showing up at each event. They are now rocking their second club gear and look awesome all thanks to Jeff. Jeff promotes friendship across the airline clubs like no other. Always invites, never excludes. Jeff has shown time and again how to act like a gentleman and sets a great example for all of us to follow.
  4. I would like to nominate Jeff, President of the Ski and Snowboard Team, for the Spirit of NAASF Award. Jeff has put an incredible amount of time into building the team and is always trying to increase our presence at NAASF events. He also has put out quite a lot of his personal cash to put together a team uniform recently, and now we finally have a team “look”. For our newer members, Jeff puts a lot of time into increasing awareness of all the NAASF events and is always working increase participation. He also shows a lot of energy and team spirit toward trying to be very creative and involved in the costume parties, which I believe is one of the best events at NAASF events. He truly embodies the Spirit of NAASF with his dedication to the team, love of snow, and the joy he takes in our events, friendship, and memories.
  5. costume parties
  6. I would like to Nominate Jeff for the Spirit Award. Jeff has been an amazing leader and friend to the ski club.  He has made our club a family.  He works tirelessly to plan the logistics of our wonderful experiences. Please accept my highest recommendation for Captain Jeff for this award.
  7. I’d like to take a minute to nominate Jeff for the Spirit of NAASF award.  This is my first year with the Ski/Ride Team, however, I spent several years riding with another airline. In the short time I’ve known Jeff, I’ve been beyond impressed with the time and energy he puts into his position as the President of the team. From coordinating our new gear, coordinating lodging, promoting the theme parties, supporting us newcomers in our first races, etc. The list goes on and on. Starting out basically by himself to growing our club to where it is now is very admirable. He loves NAASF, his teammates, and all of our other airline colleagues.  I couldn’t think of somebody more deserving of this award.
  8. Jeff is always looking for ways to bring people together, planning enthusiastically with United and Delta club captains for coaching and team-building at Copper before the season begins, and bringing his club with full force and high style once NAASF starts (remember the Dallas Cowboys and the Jamaican bobsledders?) Jeff’s love of camaraderie and fellowship at the apres-ski is legendary – he’s quick to include a newcomer in a circle of seasoned friends at a table, or bridge the gap of years away by recounting a great story about a returning member.  A true sportsman, Jeff often roots for the underdog, and under his leadership, the racing squad is starting to grow, in turn enriching the racing experience for everyone.  His work to develop new uniforms has raised our club’s visibility on the mountain and fostered team spirit.  Maybe the easiest way to see how Jeff exemplifies the Spirit of NAASF is to ask who’s ever had a terrific time skiing, sharing some laughs, or hitting a dance floor with him, and watch the whole room’s hands shoot up.

blankAs you can see, this guy is one of a kind. If you don’t know him well, I hope that you would open your hearts to his spirit of fun and friendship. He will support you in everything you do. This award means so much to him. Last year was the first time he was nominated, and he won! He has taken such pride in growing his ski and snowboard club from one member to over 142 on the email list. Each month there are new members as well as members who decide to come who haven’t been in years as well as the regulars who come every season. It is such a great mix of people.

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I have only been a member of the ski club for five years, but I have met some amazing people and made some lasting friendships. I also look to see who my flight crew is when we travel, hoping to see one of them in the air instead of on the mountain, but that hasn’t happened yet.

This group of people is amazing. Yes, they all talk a lot and you have to interrupt to get your turn, but they are some of the most fun, laid-back, and generous people I know. Everyone gets along and there is no judgment on how you ski or board. Everyone just wants to enjoy the beauty around them and appreciate that they have the skill and physical ability to make it down the mountain.

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This week my sweet love will have to give up his trophy to the next Spirit of NAASF award winner. Although we won’t be able to make the ski week, we wish the best of luck to all nominees, and we hope everyone has so much fun!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

I don’t know how many times to say it but life is short. Why live a life you don’t enjoy? Make the time to make changes and make the life you want. Reinvent yourself to make your dreams a reality.

If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you are eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.

~ Kevin Ngo

Photo by Brooke Campbell on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

About two months ago, I had my very first session with a medium. I had never really thought about talking to one or trying to connect with my lost loved ones, but after two different people mentioned the word medium to me in a week, I figured it was time to try.

According to Wikipedia, Mediumship is “the practice of purportedly mediating communication between familiar spirits or spirits of the dead and living human beings.” I have heard of mediums before but I guess I wasn’t really sure if they could truly connect. Even though I believe in spirits and angels and that there are signs from Heaven, I thought many mediums were scammers who took advantage of others, especially those in deep grief.

But it all started the first week of January 2023. We stopped by a friend’s house, and she was telling me how she reconnected with an old friend who was a medium. I was intrigued and for the first time, I wondered if she would be able to connect with my family.

my family

The next week, at my volunteer training at Valerie’s House, I met a wonderful woman. She told me she and her mother were having difficulty with the passing of her brother. They contacted a medium named Jake Samoyedny. My friend said he performed the session via Zoom and it was awesome. She said it was totally worth it and helped both of them so much on their grief journey.

After hearing of this experience, I decided I needed to give it a try. I wanted my mother and me to do it together because, like most mothers who have lost a child, she continues to struggle with the loss of my sister. I scheduled a session for the last week in January when my mom would be in Florida, and we could do it together.

A couple of days later I started thinking, and I decided I wanted a session by myself before ours together. We were out on a ski trip in Taos, NM so one morning I decided to skip skiing and have a Zoom call with this medium in New York.

Honestly, I was blown away. He was able to connect with most of my family. Gram came first. She said she was very grateful to Jeff and me for taking care of her. She said she never wanted to be a burden and that we didn’t make her feel like one. The interesting thing is burden is a word Gram used all the time. So it had to be her! The medium said Gram was in the spiritual world just bragging about me. That made me feel so happy. She also said that she was ready to go at the end, and that I didn’t need to feel any guilt. She and grandpa were happy and singing up in Heaven. My heart was relieved.

jeff and gram

Next, my sister came into the call. She too had faced the fact that her time here on Earth was done. Her job in the spiritual world is meeting babies who have passed too early and don’t have anyone up there to “receive them”. She puts her arms around these young spirits and welcomes them into the spiritual world until their families are found. I expected nothing less from my gentle-hearted sister.

sis and baby

My dad was there too because he kept flashing the Steelers logo, but at the time I didn’t realize it. He was always quiet so I wasn’t surprised that he let my gram and sister do all the talking. Just his presence was enough for me.

dad and sis

Some of the things Jake, the medium, knew I couldn’t believe. I know much of my life is an open book and there is a lot of information on my blog. Now he had a week to Google me and learn all about me but does he do that for every person? And what if you don’t have an online presence? He didn’t ask me for any information, but he knew so many things. It seems the spirits portrayed information to him such as Gram and Gramp’s dates of death, my ex-husband’s name, a guy who passed in our 20s, my sister as Wonder Woman, my uncle’s Polish name which was Stasiu and that Jeff was right by my side supporting me in this life. I just can’t believe that he could have found some of that information.

gram jeff and stacy

Towards the end of the session, the medium gave me a bit of much-needed therapy. He told me that I need to be a Yes, Woman which is hard to believe that I should say yes to more! But it seems I am clearly on the right path. He also told me to keep writing. He says I may even be able to write a book! Therefore, one of these days look for me on the bookshelves.

After my session with the medium I felt like I was flying! I felt amazing and unstoppable. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. My family was happy and at peace. They had no regrets and didn’t feel I needed to regret any actions I took or didn’t take. I needed to believe that I did the absolute best I could for them. Now I need to believe that I need to do the best for myself and my family. Jeff and I try to live our lives to the fullest and it gave me encouragement to continue our path. It also made me feel like I really could write a book that people might buy. Honestly, I have always wanted to be an author. It must have been my Honors English teacher, Mrs. Erdos, who put the love of writing into my brain. I couldn’t wait to start.

Whether you all believe there is something out there or not, I have to believe I will see my family again. I have to believe they are happy and content and having the best time wherever they are. I have to believe that even though the process of dying may be devasting, death itself is instant and the soul is lifted up into a state of unconditional love and peace in the blink of an eye.

If you have a lost loved one and would like to see if you can connect, I highly suggest using Jake. He records the session for you so you can listen to it over and over. He seems to understand the spiritual world and can help if you are struggling with the loss of your loved one. He says there are signs that they send us. Make sure you look for signs of your lost loved one. They truly are all around us.

Photo by Omkar Jadhav on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

A few weeks ago I wrote a post called “People“. Even though it was not intended to offend anyone, I have heard that some feelings may have been hurt, and I would like to extend an apology. If you have been reading my posts then you know that many of my posts are personal, but they are not always directly related to me or my husband.

As you all know (if you know us), we know a ton of people. We hear stories from people going through all kinds of situations. We go skiing, and we hear stories. My husband flies his plane, and he hears stories. We talk to people we’ve known since high school, and we hear stories. So please know these posts aren’t directed toward anyone. These posts are examples of stories that may be going on in people’s lives. These posts are positive ways to deal with some of the negativity that may be occurring in your life.

I also try to write posts that inspire people to live their life. To live happily. To live with intent. To live without an apology. To be strong and inspire others!

In my “People” post I did make reference to taking responsibility for your actions. I mentioned making choices and how choices lead you to consequences. I used the example of a DUI. I think now that was probably not the best example. I know several people who have driven under the influence. Some have received a ticket, some have been in accidents, some have had to go to jail, and others made it home without any incident. I believe I chose a bad example. There are many people, including myself, who have driven and should not have. My point was to do your best with the knowledge you have. Make the best decision for you and your family. Try to make a decision that does not lead to having to make an apology.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy