Too often we let yesterday’s regrets interfere with today’s beauty. Let go of the past and concentrate on the beauty in front of us.
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”
—Will Rogers
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There are many pressures from our friends, family, and society that make us want to live up to someone else’s standards. But let’s take a look inside and figure out who we are first. Then stay true to yourself in all situations and circumstances.
“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.”
―Virginia Woolf
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I saw this article about the secret to life through an email subscription I get for free called “1440” which is a daily newsletter. It is a great email with the day’s news with unbiased reporting which is rare to get these days. It takes five minutes to read and there are links if you’d like to continue reading further into some articles. Please check it out.
I didn’t know why it was called 1440 but after reading their introduction I found out they named it that because the printing press was invented around the year 1440, spreading knowledge to the masses and changing the course of history. Also, in every day, there are 1,440 minutes. Now we know.
Here is a snippet from the article. “Maria Branyas Morera, the world’s oldest known person, died at the age of 117 on August 19, 2024. Born on March 4, 1907, in San Francisco, she moved to Catalonia, Spain, at age 8. Morera witnessed major historical events, including two world wars and the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, and she became the oldest known survivor of COVID-19 at age 113. She was active on social media as “Super Àvia Catalana” (or Super Catalan Grandma), amassing nearly 19,000 followers.
There are approximately 722,000 centenarians—those aged 100 and older—globally, with 108,000 in the US. Supercentenarians—those aged 110 and older—are rare, with about 250-300 worldwide and roughly 60-70 known in the US. Morera credited her longevity to enjoying nature, good company, avoiding toxic people, luck, and genetics.
Some studies suggest the maximum human lifespan could be between 120 and 150 years. The oldest verified person to have ever lived died in 1997 at 122. The current oldest living person is now 116-year-old Tomiko Itooka from Japan.”
What an amazing life! To have lived through all of that is a beautiful accomplishment. Congratulations to Maria and her family!
Gram would have been 100 years old today! Unbelievable that we had someone in our family who was three and a half years away from making it to be a centenarian. I wish she would have been able to see the day. And I wish she would have told me her secret to life although after spending my entire life and five years living with her I have a pretty good guess at what her secret might have been.
Unlike many of us who are getting old, Gram seemed to be ageless. I feel like she looked the same at age 95 as she did when she was 62. Same white hair, same cute smile, same personality. She was ALWAYS smiling. She loved sitting outside with the sunshine on her face. She loved sitting in her recliner and looking out the window at the snow. She seemed to appreciate whatever it was that was thrown at her.
I remember Gram always dressing nice and doing her hair and putting rouge on her cheeks. She cared about what she looked like. But I don’t think she cared what other people thought of her if they had bad thoughts. She said what was on her mind (sometimes a little too loud!).
I do have to admit the last six months of her life we could see a decline. She was getting thinner and more frail. She was sleeping 16 hours a day. She was grumpier and the dementia seemed to have more of an impact on her. But all the same, she was my Gram and I loved her.
I love the advice Maria gives to us in the article. We need to enjoy nature and good company, avoid toxic people, have some luck, and hope for good genetics. I believe this is why Gram lived as long as he did. I believe Gram’s secret to life was her personality. She loved sitting outside, she didn’t put up with toxic people in her life, and she was happy and appreciative. She didn’t take much for granted. She was generous and concerned about the well-being of others. I admire her strength and her heart. She was my biggest inspiration. I mean who else would sit on a plant cart 🙂
Happy 100 years in Heaven, Gram! I hope you made a vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust (my favorite) and your delicious spaghetti and meatballs. Enjoy a beautiful family dinner with all of those up there filled with love, laughter, and memories. Until we meet again…
We often go through life meeting different people at airports, on trains, at parties, or work. No matter how brief our meeting may be, that person may open a world in us we never knew existed. They may open our eyes to a new way of thinking, a different outlook on life or inspiration to be more.
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
~ Anaïs Nin
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Whether it be in sports, your career, or your life, we seem to want to brag when we are good at something. But let’s stay humble and remember when we are great at something, people will tell us!
When you’re good at something, you’ll tell people. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you.
~ Walter Payton
My Rock and I were on a standby flight from Aruba to the United States. We were the last people on but the flight attendant gave us the perk of sitting in the front row with her as she had it saved because her seat belt was broken in the flight attendant jump seat. Across the way was an elderly man with what appeared to be his daughter and granddaughter. It made me think of getting old.
He walked with a cane and was slow moving. I can’t tell age but he seemed older or at least his body did. He went to use the restroom and when he returned you could tell he went. I felt terrible for him and for those of us around him.
But it reminded me of Gram who always said “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” in Polish. And wow isn’t it? Our bodies slow down, we don’t remember as much, we are sore and tired all the time, we get grumpy, and we lose control of some of our bodily functions. The little things we took for granted when we were younger are missed so much as we get older.
When we are kids we wish the time away and we can’t wait to be adults. Then at some point in adulthood, we wish time would slow down, and we wish we could go back to those youthful days when there was no fear, no anxiety, and no cracking when we got out of bed.
Even though I still have almost two years, the big 5-0 is coming soon! It’s crazy to think how old I thought 50 was as a kid. Now it’s so young. I feel like our friends are the same as they always have been. We are still going non-stop and in my mind, I feel like I can do anything now that I did 25 years ago. However, my body and the bulging disks in my neck tell me otherwise.
Anyway, back to the plane and getting old. My mind wandered to my father and others who didn’t have the chance to get old. His body was ravaged by cancer and the treatments but at 60 he was still so very young. I am glad that he didn’t have to go through the stages of old age but he barely got to go through the good old days of retirement because he was fighting cancer for nine years.
So then I have to ask myself, which way is better? Growing old and losing control of your body or dying young and not knowing what you’ve missed? Is it better to know a loved one is going to die as sometimes we do with disease or is it better to lose your loved one in a freak accident that you never saw coming?
I have decided it doesn’t matter. They both suck. Losing a loved one to cancer, disease, or an accident can be unbearable. There is always something you wanted to say. There is always something left undone. There is always a hole in your heart. It can’t be replaced, and you can do nothing to not feel the hurt.
Therefore, my friends, all we can do is support one another. No one’s grief is more or less than another’s. We all grieve in different ways and it all hurts no matter what. Let’s not compare our lives or our grief to others. Let’s help each other by lifting each other up as best we can. Let’s support each other and bring each other out of the dark places we can sometimes get ourselves into.
I saw this quote and had to laugh out loud. How true it is! This quote is appropriate in many aspects of our lives, too. We judge other people by their actions not meeting our expectations. If we could just relax and be present in the moment then maybe we would experience less disappointment in our lives. Let’s enjoy the slow ride down the highway and the times with our friends and family. Instead of putting each other down let’s lift each other up.
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
— George Carlin
Photo by Zhu Hongzhi on Unsplash
I love this quote and have been saying it over and over to myself. All we can do is react with the knowledge that we have at the time and move forward with what we know. We can’t regret the decisions we’ve made in the past.
You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Don’t let new wisdom lead you to condemn yourself over old struggles. Forgive yourself and move forward.
~ Morgan Richard Olivier
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Why is it that people keep going back to toxic relationships? If a significant other, family member, or friend treats you with disrespect and/or rage, then why stay in that relationship? Why keep interacting with that person when the same thing keeps happening? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?
My Valentine and I try to live our lives with the least amount of stress and the most amount of fun. Yes, sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. We stay up too late when we know we have important things to do in the morning, travel too much, and therefore sometimes don’t foster the relationships we have in one area, and are too much alike to stop each other from making some not-so-good decisions. But we usually do these things because we are having so much fun at the moment. In the end, we rarely regret the late nights and the fun we have with our amazing friends and family. And maybe some people would call that toxic, while we call it life.
But I guess I am talking about how when other people are not happy in their own lives, or within themselves, they take it out on you. Because they are in a sad state because of a situation and their negative reaction to it, they find you an easy target. They know they can disrespect you and you will keep on taking it. You will call them back. You will forgive and forget. You will move on like nothing happened. And half the time they don’t even admit they were wrong. And why? Because you understand that they were in a bad space and that it truly wasn’t personal against you. You know they didn’t mean what they said or did. So you are able to move on because you have learned through your own self-help articles and therapy that many people lash out because of what is going on inside of them. You know it rarely has anything to do with you. And even though you know all of this in your head it still can make you sad sometimes.
Toxic people are tough. They are your family or very good friends. They have been with you through thick and thin. You have good times with them. You laugh with them. You find hope that finally the situation will turn around. But somehow something happens that triggers the negative response. And because you are a healthy person inside you understand their toxic ways. But because you understand them and try not to take their rudeness to heart, does that mean you need to continue to put up with it? Because they are in a bad place does not give them the right to take it out on you when you have done nothing wrong.
It’s hard because many times these toxic relationships start with jealousy and envy. Their lives didn’t turn out the way they had planned or were hoping and because you have some of what they don’t, they feel like they can be angry with you. Instead of taking responsibility, helping themselves, and figuring out how to improve their lives, they want everyone around them to feel worse. Toxic people have a way of seeing the world negatively and they believe their life sucks. (Please read this article.) They can’t seem to figure out that:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
I know it’s tough, and I give credit to those of you who have cut the toxic relationships out of your life. You are very strong people! To those of you living with toxic relationships, I hope you know it isn’t about you. I hope you can see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful person your loved one is (if only they could see it in themselves). I hope you can lift yourself up, and I hope you don’t pass the toxicity on to other happy people in your life.
Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash
Many times in relationships we are this is me, take it or leave it. Although I believe that is true to an extent, I also believe that we can change for each other if we are willing to let go of our toxic traits, hear each other out, and change together to make the relationship stronger.
My current relationship has taught me that there’s no such thing as “this is who I am, take it or leave it”. When you truly love a person, you work on your toxic traits, you learn to communicate, you LISTEN when your partner expresses their feelings.
~unknown
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