I love this quote because I quit my job, moved to Thailand, came back, started caring for my Gram and the journey led me to My Prince. Today is his birthday, and I can’t wait to celebrate him and the amazing man he is. So thankful for my journey.
You don’t always need to understand your journey in life, you just need to trust that you’re going in the right direction.
-Steven Aitchis
Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash
Family. What can you say? Family can be fun. Family can be frustrating. Family can be crazy. I have spent the last four weeks helping my husband and my sister-in-law move their mom from Texas to West Virginia and then to Florida. We’ve flown to different states and driven through a few more. We found a couple of apartments, waited on moving trucks, unpacked boxes, repacked boxes, moved furniture, hung pictures, opened and closed accounts, and needless to say had a few drinks at the end of the day. But for now, all is well. Fingers crossed 🙂
Family is a crazy thing. Some days are good. Some are bad. Some family members are there for you whenever you call upon them. And some are not. Sometimes family is supportive and sometimes they are exhausting. And sometimes they may talk behind your back yet will have no problem asking you for help.
Whatever your family is, whether you were born into it, adopted, or whether you chose to make others your family, just remember you don’t have to be taken advantage of. Family is there to love you, support you, to offer advice and encouragement. Family is not there to put you down, to make you feel bad, or to make you feel like you are doing something wrong.
Sometimes family members may not mean to make you feel bad but maybe they have other issues such as mental health conditions, depression, or dementia. And this can cause stress on your relationships with them and others. Gram, who never wanted to be a burden, caused us stress in a different way as we were constantly worried about her health and well-being. If this happens, try to open the lines of communication (if the family member is mentally capable). It is usually better to talk it out. Ignoring the problem really isn’t going to fix it. If something is bothering you then try to get clarification as oftentimes there might just be a misunderstanding or confusion within the situation. Hopefully, you can discuss the problem and come to a solution instead of holding a grudge for some misunderstanding. If mental health is in the way then you can help your family member with finding resources so they can get the help they need.
So, in the end, choose the “family” that makes you shine. Choose the family that is there for you. Choose the family that calls just say hi. Choose the family that makes you laugh. Choose the family that makes you feel good about being you. And that family can be whomever you want them to be!
When our family took a vacation, we drove. As a child, I only flew on a plane once. Most of the time, we traveled to South Carolina or Florida to visit other family members and driving was the most economical way to go for our family of 6. We had a conversion van so there was plenty of room for my sister and me and even Gram and Gramps.
When I was five years old, we flew to Texas to see my mom’s best friend. I remember that it was smoky and my ears kept popping. I can’t believe they used to let people smoke cigarettes on the plane. Woah.
I didn’t fly again until my sophomore year in college. I was part of Mercyhurst College’s Women’s Basketball team, and we made it to the Division II Elite Eight finals in Fargo, North Dakota. The team got to fly but all of the parents took a bus. What a long ride! I remember thinking how much more efficient flying was than driving. I loved the view from the plane and looking down at the world from 30,000 feet up in the air. I flew a few more times after that out to California before I moved there but after moving to Virginia, I didn’t fly much. It was just easier to drive home to PA. Driving was never a big deal for me. I enjoyed it for the most part. I had a convertible after 2007 so I loved driving from Virginia to Pennsylvania with the top down and the music up.
Since I met Jeff, my flight time has increased tenfold. I am on a plane every month if not twice a month or more! It’s crazy, but I do love it. I always wanted to be a gypsy, and I definitely am getting my wish.
I love flying now. We have Global Entry for traveling internationally. It makes it super easy to go through customs to come back into the United States. It also includes TSA Precheck which is the most convenient way to travel. No more taking off shoes or taking toiletries or my computer out. It’s easy and usually, the lines are shorter. I couldn’t fly without it. We also invested in the American Express Platinum card. Although the annual fee is high, the benefits make it worthwhile. You get paid back for Clear, Global Entry, TSA precheck, $200 of baggage fees on an airline of your choice, entry into priority pass clubs for you and a guest plus Delta clubs when you fly Delta, as well as an array of other benefits. The lounges make layovers well worth it with free food and beverages in the lounge. We also get Uber credit each month.
Anyway, the view from the plane is one of my favorite. I love watching the sunrise or the sunset from up in the sky. Jeff gets to see the sunrise and sunset from the front window of the plane and he’s talked about how beautiful it is. I love looking down at the houses, and the landscapes of different states. It is absolutely breathtaking. I love the views at night, especially over big cities with the sparkling lights and all of the cars racing through the streets.
Although flying can make many people nervous, I just love it. May has been an extremely busy month of flying. I was in Fort Lauderdale, St. Thomas, Dallas, Knoxville, and Pittsburgh just in the first two weeks! Now I can read, nap, listen to music, or write blog posts instead of paying attention to the road.
I saw this quote and felt it really hit home for me. Love the life you have. Find the positives wherever you can.
I have found that if you love life, life will love you back
-Arthur Rubinstein
Photo by Katarzyna Grabowska on Unsplash
On May 23, ten years ago we lost my dear old dad. As you have read, he was a fighter. He battled lung cancer for nine years. He rarely complained, and he rarely let it slow him down. He kept smiling through any of the pain he was in.
The other night the whole family must have been on my mind because I had a crazy dream that included my mom, my dad, my sister, and Gram. It was so nice to see them all. Gramps rarely visits me in my dreams, which does make me sad because I would love to see him. I don’t know why he doesn’t show up.
My dreams usually jump from one setting to another. Almost like being on a movie set. It was like I was in an airport meeting the family. And then we were all in a few rooms in a hotel. Of course, in my dreams, I was in one of those moods and was ready to sing DREAMS! I think my prince said “noooooo” but everyone else was ready. It really was a great dream. It didn’t make any sense but all of the family was there. And everyone was happy. What I liked most was that it was a kind of a long dream so I got to spend a lot of time with the family. And what I really loved was when I woke up I remembered it because it was so vivid.
I can’t believe it has been 10 years since my father died. I wish he was here to see his amazing grandchildren. He would love watching his granddaughter hit the game-winning RBI. I wish he was here to enjoy retirement with my mom. I imagine they would be traveling all over. I wish he was here to spend the holidays with the family. I wish he was here to meet my husband. He would enjoy relaxing by our pool and seeing his stepgrandson graduate from college. I wish for so many things.
It’s amazing to think that 10 years ago I was only 36 years old when my dad went to heaven. I can’t believe it. I was in such a different phase of life. I am glad my dad got to see me as a successful teacher and coordinator of special education, a house owner, and a woman who wanted to see the world. I believe he was proud of me then, and I believe he would be proud of me now in my role as a former caretaker of Gram as well as my new role as a temporary teacher, blogger, travel agent, fitness enthusiast, slumlord, and pilot’s wife. I miss him so much.
So, dad, I hope you are having a blast up there in heaven. As much as I wish you were here, I hated to see you in pain. I am relieved of that but of course, I wish things were different. I hope you keep coming to us in our dreams. Put your arms around mom every now and again. She could use a great big hug from you. Watch over us and keep us safe. You always did. Love and miss you dad. See you when my time comes.
I believe listening is a hard task for most of us. What we need to try to do is listen without judgment, without thinking about what we are going to say next.
The kindest thing you can do for someone else is listen without forming an opinion.
– Lori Deschene
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
These are words to live by. I love this quote and I try to remember it every day. I wish the same for you.
A good life is when you smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have.
– Life Quotes Corner
Photo by René Porter on Unsplash
Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. They come in all shapes and sizes. Biological mothers, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, fur baby mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers. Some people have wonderful relationships with their mothers and some have no relationship at all.
The definition of a mother starts with one who gives birth, adopts, or raises a child. But being a mother is more than just giving birth or raising a child. It is teaching your children right from wrong. It is giving them opportunities to explore their own wants and needs. It is letting them experience a little bit of life on their own while they are young so that when they grow up they have the tools needed to succeed.
Now the definition of success may mean different things to different people. And sometimes what you want your child to succeed in doesn’t meet your expectations. Maybe you wanted your child to have babies so you could be a grandma but that didn’t happen. Maybe you wanted your child to go to college and they didn’t. Maybe you wanted them to build a house on the same farm you grew up on and they moved away. When expectations are not met, it can be very hard on relationships. And disappointment can set in.
Most mothers want more for their children than they do for themselves. They want to see their children happy. They want to see their children reaching for and achieving their dreams. They are the cheerleaders behind their children. They are there to pick them up and brush them off when they fall. They are there to tell them everything is going to be alright. And sometimes the mothers need to tell themselves that from time to time. And most importantly, mothers need to take care of themselves first so they can be the best caretakers to others.
In any situation, we need to embrace the positive. Check out these 21 Characteristics of a Good Mother. Take a moment to click on the link. Not only can it help you in motherhood but just overall in being a good human being.
“If we are not happy, then we can’t expect them to be either. A good mom is one who is always positive and looks on the bright side of things. This doesn’t mean that she is always happy, but she can find something good in every situation.”
Find your positives and embrace them in every situation. Happy Tuesday and Happy Mother’s Day Week!
Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash
“I’ve influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I’ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head
‘Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I’m medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You’ll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol”
The lyrics above are from Brad Paisley’s song “Alcohol“. Alcohol can definitely make you do some crazy things. It also can do some destruction to your body. Eight weeks ago I decided to quit drinking alcohol. My body needed a break. I felt bloated. My eyes looked tired. I didn’t feel good. My body hurt. I felt lazy. I felt like I had been on a drinking binge for over three months. Most people enjoy having a few drinks with their friends. Our problem is our friends and social life never end. Therefore, neither does the alcohol. We go skiing, so we drink. We have friends in town, so we drink. We go out on the boat, so we drink. Most people take breaks between big events but most times we have a new set of friends in town so the fun (and alcohol) keeps flowing.
This year it started in December. Jeff took some vacation time so we went on a ski week to Copper Mountain. Then we had Christmas and friends in town for New Year’s Eve. Then we had another ski week in Taos and when we returned to town more friends were here. February was filled with friends visiting from out of town throughout the whole month with the last week spent with four friends in the Keys with the Harley. As I look back on the year, I realize that between vacations, Jeff’s work schedule, and friends in town Jeff and I only had about eight days alone in our home.
It was March 2 which happened to be Ash Wednesday. I figured it was the old Catholic in me and a sign from Heaven that told me, “Stacy, it’s the perfect time to give something up”. And.Just.Like.That. I decided I needed to take a break from drinking. I also realized there were eight more weeks of Dream Team left. If you have been following my blog then you know that when I was living in Pennsylvania I became involved in the Dream Team contest which happens every year. It’s 16 weeks of dialing in your eating and becoming a little more strict with your lifestyle. Since 2017, I have been following the nutrition plan that I learned from Bill Lawrence’s Personal Fitness. Personally, I follow the program year-round. There are times I just become a little more strict than others. I decided to do my own eight-week dream team which would take me right at the May 1 weekend when we would be leaving for vacation to the British Virgin Islands.
The first week wasn’t too bad of a challenge. We had two concerts. I decided to just take it one day at a time. On the fourth day, I made it through the Sammy Hagar concert that we attended with one of Jeff’s high school buddies and his fiance. That night my husband told me he was so proud of me for not drinking. It really hit me and gave me increased motivation to keep going.
I was pretty nervous about the upcoming ski week. I have been attending ski weeks for over four years and not one of them has been sober. Everyone ended up being really supportive. It definitely was a different experience with no alcohol, but it was really fun all the same! I skied well, went to the gym a few times, felt great at night, and even sneaked in a dessert for dinner 🙂 I ended up having a few non-alcoholic beers on the mountain and felt just as much a part of the group as if I had a regular beer in my hand.
Once I made it through ski week, I knew I could make it through anything! I realized I didn’t NEED alcohol to have a good time or to be out and about. I realized drinking is a social thing for us. The problem is we are SOOOO social that drinking becomes an almost everyday thing.
My husband was the most supportive being. It meant the world to me to have his support and encouragement. Halfway through my experiment, he could see the changes in my face, my energy, and my body. Therefore, he decided to quit too, and even though he only gave up drinking for 30 days, he felt better about his workouts, body, and energy level. We did this together and it means the world to me. We both can see a few abs, and we love it!
Over the last eight weeks, I realized I can do things without alcohol. I went on a ski week and had a great time. I even tried a few non-alcoholic beers. I never understood why people drank those until I quit drinking. During social events, everyone has a drink in their hand. And most times water just isn’t going to cut it. When you have that can or bottle in your hand you feel a part of the group. It’s definitely a mental thing but just having a “beer” in my hand made me feel ok.
Everyone was so supportive over my eight-week journey. I found that no one really cares whether or not I drank alcohol. I found that I still laugh, I still enjoy my friends, and I am more aware of what is going on around me! My workouts were better and I felt great overall. I lost 5.4 pounds and .8% body fat.
Over the eight weeks, I ate as we normally eat in our lifestyle. I did sneak in a few desserts and ice cream the first few weeks. But then I decided to get a little more strict because I knew I wanted to look good in that bikini in the British Virgin Islands in May.
So if you are struggling with alcohol and feel like you need a break, just take it one day at a time. It actually became really fun for me. Some people didn’t think I could do it so I had to prove them wrong! And I am so glad I did. I had to prove to myself I didn’t need the alcohol. So now the challenge becomes pacing myself!
Featured photo by Adam Wilson on Unsplash