caregiver for grandparents Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Inspired & Strong

How Did I Get Here?

August 8, 2020 No Comments

So who am I? How did I get here? And why am I writing a blog?

WHO AM I?

I am from a tiny town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. I went to a small college and graduated with an education degree. Then, I moved to California to teach first grade. Six months later, I moved to Richmond, Virginia. There, I taught special education for eight years, earned my Master’s degree, and became a special education coordinator for another eight years.

Something happened in 2015, and I just wanted out. I needed a change of pace. A friend recommended the Greenheart Travel program, and I decided to go to Thailand to teach English as a second language. I was super excited. I had a friend to travel with and tons of opportunities to meet others.

After months of debate and discussion, I left a 16-year career in education where I was making $70,000 a year and had 14 weeks of sick time built up. I wasn’t sure how things would turn out, and many people thought I was making the wrong decision, but I decided to take a leap of faith and jump. Looking back now, I can’t be more thankful that I did.

In the fall of 2015, I left for what would end up being an amazing adventure. Because I am a Travel Junkie, I contacted friends I had around Europe and visited eight countries along the way (Germany, Switzerland, Finland, Sweden, Italy, The Netherlands, France, and Spain).

Then, my friend Katherine and I headed to Thailand where we would end up spending two months working with children and exploring the Thai culture. I remember when we arrived in Bangkok, we met about 30 people who were also there for training. We had a couple of days in Bangkok where we visited Thai markets, ate some interesting foods, and went to a Thai cooking class. Then, we headed to Hua Hin where we had classroom activities. We learned a bit of the Thai language and that was my first introduction to Sabai Sabai [pron. suh-BYE suh-BYE] which means “no worries, no problem, just relax”. After three weeks of training, Katherine and I were placed at an international school. We were only there for three weeks and then it was Christmas break and we had a month off, so we traveled around Thailand a bit and then I decided to go home to Virginia for Christmas.

HOW DID I GET HERE?

It was Christmas 2015. Our whole family was together including Grandma and Grandpa. We had a great time making pierogies as per our (Polish) Christmas tradition but, I also made mango sticky rice, which was my new favorite dessert from Thailand. We had a wonderful time until Christmas evening when my 90-year-old grandfather ended up in the hospital. He had fluid built up around his lungs and was having trouble breathing. He was in the hospital for several days. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I felt I needed to stay in the United States and be with him and my family. Therefore, I canceled my trip back to Thailand. After a week in the hospital, they sent him to rehab.

About a month later, in February 2016, our family was at a loss. He wasn’t getting better, he seemed to have lost all hope and wasn’t trying. After several discussions about different options, it was decided I would drive my grandparents home to Pennsylvania. We arranged for Hospice care so that I would have some help. Even though physically he had deteriorated, mentally, he had every desire in the world to go to Fort Myers, Florida to their winter condo like they did every year, but Gram won out, and we headed north.

He was a large, stubborn man and he was very upset that we went north instead of south, but we made it. He was very weak and couldn’t even walk to the door. His heart failure won out because we weren’t even home a week and the good Lord called him to heaven. My grandparents were together just two weeks shy of 66 years. What an inspiring marriage!

Since I didn’t have a job and my house in Virginia was rented for the year, I decided to stay and take care of my grandmother. She needed company, and I needed a place to live. I didn’t know if my grandmother would live for two days, two weeks, or two months without my grandfather, but I decided to stay.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS BLOG?

This blog is a collection of stories from September 2015 to the present day. It is meant to make you want to live life to the fullest, laugh often, love with your whole heart, and constantly learn to be better. It is to share the stories of my Adventures with Gram and my family. It is to show you to never give up on your dreams by sharing my travel adventures, my fitness journey, and my journey in finding love. Hopefully, some of my stories will inspire you to take chances that you’re too scared to take right now. Hopefully, it will inspire you to start a fitness journey of your own. It may inspire you to go see your grandparents or parents. Whatever it is, I hope this blog at least warms your heart and makes you smile.

In Adventures with Gram

Life Changes

August 8, 2020 No Comments

When I quit my job in the fall of 2015, I wasn’t sure where life would lead. I just knew I wasn’t happy, and I wanted to see the world. I also wanted to find love, and I wasn’t having any success in Virginia. As you read in the post “How Did I Get Here?“, I left a wonderful career in education to go to Thailand to teach English. I came back. I didn’t have a job and my house was rented.

Those life changes led me back to my hometown. It was winter. It was snowing. It was cold, but I decided to make the best of it. Gram and I made fires in the fireplace, and we didn’t really have anywhere to go so winter wasn’t too bad 🙂

As time went on, I hung out with old friends from high school. Many of their children were in high school so, I went to local sporting events to watch them. Every time I went to a game, it was like a high school reunion! It was great to see everyone and their mini me’s.

Finally, spring arrived and my high school friends talked me into helping coach my old high school softball team. Also, to fill some time because Gram was fairly self-sufficient, I started working at J’s Ice Cream and Hot Dog Shop where I learned to make ice cream cones. It is definitely a lot harder than it looks! I felt comfortable leaving her for half the day because she would get herself up and dressed, read the paper, and make breakfast. I would work and then pick her up for the softball games. She loved seeing me coach and watching the girls play.

Spring was long, cold, and muddy but, we made it. Finally, summertime. Long, warm summer days and cool summer nights came upon us which was great for sleeping with no air conditioning. That summer, I hung out with one of my high school friend’s daughter. I couldn’t believe she was 21. We had the best time. I introduced her to some amazing 80’s music, and she taught me the names of some of the back roads in town that I didn’t know.

That fall, I worked with her at a chiropractor’s office. When we weren’t working, we were out drinking a lot together, and I was drinking a lot on my own. I decided I needed a detox. I set the goal to quit drinking for a month. With the support of family and friends, I made it 34 days without one drink!!

That fall, someone suggested that I try CrossFit Meadville. I was doing workouts at home, but I really missed going to a gym. After the first week, I was hooked! I was sore, tired, and exhausted, but the workouts were awesome and always different. I had a great trainer and the support of other CrossFitters was motivating. I was easy to coach and eager to learn. Bill, the owner of the gym, talked a lot about nutrition and eating right, and I was interested in making those changes. He definitely inspired me to challenge myself.

That year was full of life changes. I went from being a professional educator to becoming a caregiver with minimum wage part-time jobs. I moved from a big city back to my small rural home town. My social life went from hanging out with a variety of friends to hanging out with Gram, but we had some great adventures. We went to Pirates games. We traveled a lot to Virginia to see family. We ate a lot of ice cream. We took a lot of Sunday drives.

She went to bingo every other Monday, which gave me a night free of responsibility. At first, she could get herself ready and would proudly pack her “bingo bag” with her markers and lucky charms. As time went on, she needed a little extra help but, she still was determined to go. Those Mondays off were very important to me as a caregiver, and I cherished the time off. Even though I felt a little lost, I knew I was on the right journey. Then one rainy, chilly night in December 2016 as she was leaving bingo, she fell and broke her hip. And once again, new life changes were upon me.

In Adventures with Gram

In the Bathroom with Gram

August 8, 2020 5 Comments

I have had over four years of Adventures with Gram. When I started taking care of her in February 2016 after my grandfather passed, I didn’t know how long she would last. I also didn’t know that 90% of our conversations would take place in the bathroom! But here I am. Another Friday night …in the bathroom with Gram.

My husband and our friends are outside sitting by the pool enjoying a beautiful night, good friendship, and some adult beverages. And here I am …in the bathroom with Gram. And it’s fine. But then I ask myself “is it?” Is this where I am supposed to be? Is there where I pictured myself being …in the bathroom with Gram? Of course not, but this is where I am and this is my journey. Sabai Sabai

In the bathroom with Gram is where I am more often than I imagined. Sometimes I get down about missing certain things because I am in the bathroom with Gram, but then I try to remind myself it’s kind of like being a mom and having to put the kiddos to bed. You may miss out on what’s going on in your living room, but sometimes you have amazing, special experiences on your own when you are tucking them in tight.

Some of my favorite conversations are in the bathroom with Gram. A lot of times she repeats the same phrases. Most of the time I hear “take me behind the barn and shoot me” or “I look like death warmed over… two times” or “starość nie jest radością” which is Polish and she tells me it means “it’s hell getting old”. The formal translation means “old age is not joy”. She will talk about how she misses my grandpa. She talks about how she’s a burden and to just put her away. She tells me not to let her sit around and eat candy all day. She is really funny sometimes especially when she cracks herself up. She talks about how I am spending too much time with her and how I need to get back out to my husband. I am thankful that she is considerate of me. Of course, it’s not like she is setting any speed records but she tries. So, I spend my time in the bathroom with Gram, enjoying our conversations and hoping my ice doesn’t melt by the time I get back to my drink.