caregiver journey Archives - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

I saw this article about the secret to life through an email subscription I get for free called “1440” which is a daily newsletter. It is a great email with the day’s news with unbiased reporting which is rare to get these days. It takes five minutes to read and there are links if you’d like to continue reading further into some articles. Please check it out.

I didn’t know why it was called 1440 but after reading their introduction I found out they named it that because the printing press was invented around the year 1440, spreading knowledge to the masses and changing the course of history. Also, in every day, there are 1,440 minutes. Now we know.

Here is a snippet from the article. “Maria Branyas Morera, the world’s oldest known person, died at the age of 117 on August 19, 2024. Born on March 4, 1907, in San Francisco, she moved to Catalonia, Spain, at age 8. Morera witnessed major historical events, including two world wars and the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, and she became the oldest known survivor of COVID-19 at age 113. She was active on social media as “Super Àvia Catalana” (or Super Catalan Grandma), amassing nearly 19,000 followers.

There are approximately 722,000 centenarians—those aged 100 and older—globally, with 108,000 in the US. Supercentenarians—those aged 110 and older—are rare, with about 250-300 worldwide and roughly 60-70 known in the US. Morera credited her longevity to enjoying nature, good company, avoiding toxic people, luck, and genetics.

Some studies suggest the maximum human lifespan could be between 120 and 150 years. The oldest verified person to have ever lived died in 1997 at 122. The current oldest living person is now 116-year-old Tomiko Itooka from Japan.”

What an amazing life! To have lived through all of that is a beautiful accomplishment. Congratulations to Maria and her family!

Gram would have been 100 years old today! Unbelievable that we had someone in our family who was three and a half years away from making it to be a centenarian. I wish she would have been able to see the day. And I wish she would have told me her secret to life although after spending my entire life and five years living with her I have a pretty good guess at what her secret might have been.

Unlike many of us who are getting old, Gram seemed to be ageless. I feel like she looked the same at age 95 as she did when she was 62. Same white hair, same cute smile, same personality. She was ALWAYS smiling. She loved sitting outside with the sunshine on her face. She loved sitting in her recliner and looking out the window at the snow. She seemed to appreciate whatever it was that was thrown at her.

I remember Gram always dressing nice and doing her hair and putting rouge on her cheeks. She cared about what she looked like. But I don’t think she cared what other people thought of her if they had bad thoughts. She said what was on her mind (sometimes a little too loud!).

I do have to admit the last six months of her life we could see a decline. She was getting thinner and more frail. She was sleeping 16 hours a day. She was grumpier and the dementia seemed to have more of an impact on her. But all the same, she was my Gram and I loved her.

I love the advice Maria gives to us in the article. We need to enjoy nature and good company, avoid toxic people, have some luck, and hope for good genetics. I believe this is why Gram lived as long as he did. I believe Gram’s secret to life was her personality. She loved sitting outside, she didn’t put up with toxic people in her life, and she was happy and appreciative. She didn’t take much for granted. She was generous and concerned about the well-being of others. I admire her strength and her heart. She was my biggest inspiration. I mean who else would sit on a plant cart 🙂

Happy 100 years in Heaven, Gram! I hope you made a vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust (my favorite) and your delicious spaghetti and meatballs. Enjoy a beautiful family dinner with all of those up there filled with love, laughter, and memories. Until we meet again…

In Family

Getting Old

September 3, 2024 No Comments

My Rock and I were on a standby flight from Aruba to the United States. We were the last people on but the flight attendant gave us the perk of sitting in the front row with her as she had it saved because her seat belt was broken in the flight attendant jump seat. Across the way was an elderly man with what appeared to be his daughter and granddaughter. It made me think of getting old.

He walked with a cane and was slow moving. I can’t tell age but he seemed older or at least his body did. He went to use the restroom and when he returned you could tell he went. I felt terrible for him and for those of us around him.

But it reminded me of Gram who always said “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” in Polish. And wow isn’t it? Our bodies slow down, we don’t remember as much, we are sore and tired all the time, we get grumpy, and we lose control of some of our bodily functions. The little things we took for granted when we were younger are missed so much as we get older.

When we are kids we wish the time away and we can’t wait to be adults. Then at some point in adulthood, we wish time would slow down, and we wish we could go back to those youthful days when there was no fear, no anxiety, and no cracking when we got out of bed.

Even though I still have almost two years, the big 5-0 is coming soon! It’s crazy to think how old I thought 50 was as a kid. Now it’s so young. I feel like our friends are the same as they always have been. We are still going non-stop and in my mind, I feel like I can do anything now that I did 25 years ago. However, my body and the bulging disks in my neck tell me otherwise.

Anyway, back to the plane and getting old. My mind wandered to my father and others who didn’t have the chance to get old. His body was ravaged by cancer and the treatments but at 60 he was still so very young. I am glad that he didn’t have to go through the stages of old age but he barely got to go through the good old days of retirement because he was fighting cancer for nine years.

So then I have to ask myself, which way is better? Growing old and losing control of your body or dying young and not knowing what you’ve missed? Is it better to know a loved one is going to die as sometimes we do with disease or is it better to lose your loved one in a freak accident that you never saw coming?

I have decided it doesn’t matter. They both suck. Losing a loved one to cancer, disease, or an accident can be unbearable. There is always something you wanted to say. There is always something left undone. There is always a hole in your heart. It can’t be replaced, and you can do nothing to not feel the hurt.

Therefore, my friends, all we can do is support one another. No one’s grief is more or less than another’s. We all grieve in different ways and it all hurts no matter what. Let’s not compare our lives or our grief to others. Let’s help each other by lifting each other up as best we can. Let’s support each other and bring each other out of the dark places we can sometimes get ourselves into.

In Travel Junkie

Vicariously

March 26, 2024 No Comments

As you all know My Prince and I travel A LOT! It seems we are Never Home, and if we are home, we have company. Some people think it’s amazing while others are exhausted just looking at our pictures and reading my posts. Other people don’t understand why we can’t stay in one place for any length of time. Sometimes we feel like we are being pulled in so many different directions. It seems that everything seems to happen on the same day. Having the FOMO (fear of missing out) that I have, I wish there was a way to be in about three places at one time!

We have had several people say they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures. They are always looking forward to see where we are going next. Some say they don’t have to travel because we do it for them. Many are excited that they get to see different places without going anywhere.

My Rock and I love traveling. We love our experiences, the people we meet, and the sites we get to see. We travel at least once a month if not more. Sometimes to Virginia to visit family and sometimes to different destinations to go skiing. Even though my hubby flies for work he still enjoys the personal adventure of the places we get to go. We are blessed to have flight benefits through his work, therefore, we can travel for less money. The problem is sometimes we have to run from one gate to another to try to catch that flight home. Or we have to stay an extra day because the flights are full. These are the frustrating things people don’t see. And sometimes it can make for a very long day. I just try to see it as an added adventure. It’s always fun to see where we will end up 🙂

Over the Christmas holiday, My Valentine and I were talking with his brother. We were talking about the new virtual reality glasses and how real they make everything look and feel. I am not sure how I feel about this new phenomenon. Yes, you can travel vicariously to the Eiffel Tower without ever leaving your couch, but is it the same as actually climbing those steps to the top? I guess I like the idea of the glasses for those who are limited by physical or mental impairments and cannot travel. To see them would probably be very cool. But I am nervous about the impact it will have on our society. Will people quit traveling? Will people quit interacting with others? Will people lose their desire to see the world? If you wear these glasses you don’t have to go anywhere, walk anywhere, or do anything. You just feel like you are wherever you want to be. I would rather see things with my own eyes, be there in my own spirit, and feel the real world around me, but maybe I am different.

My husband and I just spent 18 days in Europe. We went skiing in Chamonix, France, Zermatt, and Lenzerheide, Switzerland, and then ended with three days in Zurich, Switzerland. We were amazed by the wondrous mountains and the amazing views. We skied for 10 days with beautiful scenic drives in between ski towns. What a beautiful countryside. Once in Zurich, we walked thousands of steps, trying different shops, and going to different restaurants. I couldn’t imagine doing this vicariously through some virtual reality glasses and not being there in person.

I know living vicariously through other people or glasses can be fun. I love seeing pictures from other people’s travels. But I grew up with a desire to see the world. I want to BE in as many places as I can and EXPERIENCE as many different worlds and cultures as possible. I hope if you have a place you would like to go to you find a way to take that trip. Don’t wait for the right time or wait to have the right amount of money. Where there is a will there is a way. Make it happen and turn the vicarious into reality!

In Adventures with Gram

Ups And Downs

February 24, 2024 No Comments

Hi Gram,

Three years ago today, we said goodbye. So many ups and downs since then. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday I was driving you and Gramps home from Virginia after his month-long stay in the hospital. We lost him just a week later on February 4th. I can’t believe that was eight years ago. I miss his big belly laugh so much. He was so full of life. I wish there was a way to know him as I did as my Grandpa but also if I could go back in time and know him as a young adult. I think he would have been a very interesting young man to know as My Prince and I hear many, many stories of “Coach” from his former players and friends.

After Gramps passed away, we had a lot of fun didn’t we, Sweet Gram? I miss our times together. Even though we had many ups and downs, overall I had the best time living with you and taking care of you. I can’t believe it has been three years since we lost you. I think about all of our adventures often, and we talk about them all the time with others who remember you and others who never had the chance to meet you.

My first summer back in my hometown we did a few updates to your house including a new roof, new floors, new carpet, and some outside landscaping. We made several fires as we always needed to take the chill off. We napped during the day anytime we wanted to. We drove to softball games so you could see me help coach my alma mater’s team. We also found as many ice cream joints as we could. We zipped around in my little EOS convertible without a care in the world. (I am sure you know I am now on my fourth EOS 🙂 It’s blue and beautiful.)

We had so much fun driving up and down the East Coast visiting the family in Virginia and your condo in Fort Myers. Those first two years we were together were full of so many ups and downs. We learned that my sister had the dreaded C word. Then a few months later, while we were in Fort Myers, we met the man who would become my forever Valentine. You liked him so much and he must have liked us, too. As you can see lots of ups and downs.

The next year we lost the sweetest, kindest soul, my sister. It was a shock that her battle with cancer only lasted 18 months. I couldn’t believe she was gone. It was one of the hardest times in my life. I was blessed to have you, my friends, and My Prince to support me through the grief.

Later that year, we moved to Florida to be with My Rock. We continued driving up and down the East Coast but now we were a trio. The next year your health declined a bit but My Heart and I got engaged and married. More ups and downs for sure.

We continued our adventures together. We watched Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. We sat by the pool and took you on the boat. We visited friends and family. We even took you hiking and out to the mountains of Colorado. Sometimes you didn’t want to go but after some arm twisting you were all smiles and at the end of the night you thanked us for such a good time.

Gram, life is so full of ups and downs. I guess we need the downs to appreciate the ups. I don’t know. I loved all of our ups and downs together and miss you like crazy. I know when the rest of us get to Heaven it will seem like no time has passed. Until then those of us down here will keep having our ups and downs on this journey we call life.

In Family

Letter from Above Again

December 19, 2023 No Comments

A friend told me I should publish this letter every year so I thought I would share it again for those who missed it the first time or for those who may need to read it again at this time of year. Even though many of us have family or friends who are no longer in our lives for a variety of reasons, I hope we can rejoice and celebrate those who are. Celebrate each other and your relationships whether it’s someone you talk to once a day, once a month or once a year. If they bring joy and light to your world, tell them how much you appreciate them. For those who shed a shadow of darkness on your light, let them go. Live this life that’s meant to be lived this holiday season and the upcoming new year.

Prior Post

The Holidays. We all seem to love them. We have many expectations for them. Some of us have a lot of anxiety for them. Some of us have lost loved ones through the years, and we seem to miss them the most during the holidays. Let us try to rejoice and be happy this holiday season. Let’s honor our lost loved ones by keeping their spirit alive with love and laughter. To try to deal with loss and anxiety I decided to write a letter from above. Imagine this letter being sent to you by your lost loved one.

Dear loved one on Earth,

I know this is a difficult time for you. You want me to be there in person and not just in spirit. You want to hear me laugh and give me a big squeeze. I, too, want that more than anything. But I also want you to understand how much I want you to be happy even though I am gone.

I feel like you are holding yourself back. Maybe you are afraid that you will disappoint me if you are too happy without me down there. Maybe you feel I will be disappointed if you have too much fun. Maybe you are scared that my memory will fade if you enjoy yourself and other people around you. Please know that is the furthest thing from the truth.

The way you can honor me the most is by living your best life!! As you know time on Earth is limited and you never know when your time will be up. I am at peace. I am happy. I am having the best time reuniting with all of our lost loved ones. I am no longer in pain. I am free. I am young. I am waiting for you. You, too, will see when your time comes how wonderful it is here in Heaven.

Please know I have not forgotten about you, and I still hold you tight whenever I get the chance. I am by your side every day. I hold your hand when you are lonely, and I pick you up when you have fallen. I send you signs from Heaven. But I see your struggles, and I know it is my fault you are so sad, and I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to live! I need you to search your soul and find yourself. Who are you now? Who can you become? How can you honor me and my spirit?

Even though it may be hard, please know that I am ok. And now I want you to be ok. I want you to find a companion or partner to make you happy. I want you to find friends where you can laugh and giggle until all hours of the night. I want you to take chances and travel. Go on a wild adventure. And when you think of me, think of me and smile. Don’t feel guilty. Life is meant to be lived and you need to start living again.

So for the upcoming holidays, give yourself grace. You are not alone. I am by your side and I love you. Talk about me, smile about the amazing memories we shared, and start this new year by living your best life… without me.

Love,

Your Loved One in Heaven

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

In Family

Sad Sometimes

September 26, 2023 No Comments

I try to write inspiring and uplifting posts, but sometimes I need to write about the sad stuff. Life is too short to hold grudges, be mad, sad, or down on yourself. But sometimes you can get in a funk and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out of it. That’s why it’s important to have a sound support system. Sometimes you need some positive reinforcement from your friends or family.

It’s hard to be positive especially when you’ve been hit with tragic events over and over. Losing a loved one, losing your job, losing your partner to divorce or separation, becoming distant from your family, or not hearing from your best friend can be huge downers. These are life circumstances. They are sad, and no one ever said it would be easy.

Yes, we can get down on ourselves. We can feel left out. We can feel depressed or pissed off. And yes, sometimes you need to sit in your private space, be sad, and have a good cry. Let it all out. Scream. Shout. Tell the world it’s not fair. Tell God you are upset. But then you need to pull yourself together and search deep within your soul. What has got you down? What has caused the feelings inside of you? Remember, we can only control our reactions to the circumstances that are thrown at us.

Over the years, I have lost several of my family members. I could be down and mad at the world. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I wonder why our family? Why did my sister have to go? Why isn’t my dad here with us anymore? And that’s okay. I am allowed to be sad sometimes. But I have to realize I cannot control their death. I cannot bring them back. I can only control how I react to the situation. I can only learn from their death that life is so very short and that one day I will reconnect with them. Until then why shouldn’t I try to be positive and spread kindness in this world? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the days I have left on this Earth? Why shouldn’t I try to experience all this world has to offer?

And maybe my circumstances are different than others. I don’t have to work full-time or stay in one place for an extended period. And for me, that is what I enjoy. I love living the gypsy life! Even if you have a job or need to stay in one place you can make it an adventure. Treat your city as if you are a tourist. What can you explore on your days off? Can you rent a bike and take a ride? Can you take a Sunday drive and head out into the country or to a park to enjoy the peacefulness? There are ways to make the world around you a wonderful place. You just need to start with you. What do you enjoy?

Remember, you have to do what makes you happy and what you have control over. Waiting for your best friend to call isn’t something you can control. You need to reach out or you need to move on. You cannot control your best friend. Waiting for the man of your dreams to show up on your doorstep isn’t going to happen either. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. It’s scary and intimidating, but taking that first step is the hardest. But I promise it will be worth it!

It is also important to have friends that inspire you. It is important to have friends that are there for you through the good and bad times. It is important to have a friend you can call when you are down. Hopefully, your friends can pick you up when you are sad. Sometimes friends can be more understanding and supportive than your family. That’s why it’s important to choose friends who lift you up. My Prince and I are blessed with the best of friends.

In the end, it is okay to be sad sometimes, but please don’t let that sadness ruin your life. Life is too short, my friends. Turn your circumstances around. Find a powerful, uplifting song! Find a better, happier place for you within you. Take control of your life and make it the best life it can be! Take the Leap of Faith and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do!

Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Muddled

September 20, 2023 No Comments

Some people choose to live life muddled, scared, and defeated. Life does not have to be that way. Life is messy but YOU have a choice of how you want to live. Don’t let life beat you down. Stand up and live it your way.

“You make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You draw your own box.”

— Duchess Meghan

Photo by Andrey Trush on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

99 Years

September 13, 2023 1 Comment

Today would have been 99 years for Gram. Wow. What an amazing life. Even though she only made it to 96 1/2 she showed people what it meant to be alive. I miss her so much and wish I could kiss her sweet little face and help her celebrate her day.

99 years. Can you even imagine? I remember when I was a little kid looking up at my parents and thinking they were so old. I calculate the ages they were then and now I am older than they were! Oh, how times have changed because clearly, 47 is not so old anymore!

As I sit here and contemplate all the losses I’ve had over the past 11 years, I think what a difference in ages of all my people’s deaths. Dad was 60. My uncle was 61. My grandpa thrived until 90. My sister was just getting started at 38. And Gram was called up at 96. Why do the numbers make us feel that some people missed out while others lived a full life? Does it make it better that they are older when they go? And why? Is it true that my grandparents lived a full life while my sister and my dad missed out? Just because they only lived to be 38 and 60 does it mean they were incomplete? Or did they find love and happiness and did they pass onto the next adventure complete and full?

I don’t know the answers. I know how I feel and I know what the Medium told me when I connected with them. I feel like the older we are the more we get to see, the more we get to experience, and the more we get to do. But what if you find happiness at a young age? Or what if you never explore anything at all? Is your life still complete because that’s the way you wanted to live it? Why do we feel bad for those who had to leave this world at a young age? Why do we feel bad when anyone has to leave this world at all? If we believe there is something more then we truly should be celebrating that those souls are in the most peaceful and magical place. So why does it hurt so bad? And why does our grief overwhelm us at times? I think we are really sad for ourselves because we feel incomplete without our people, and we can’t get past the fact that they are okay without us.

All I know is that I miss my people and sometimes it hits harder than on other days. I need to do a better job of recognizing the signs from Heaven that they send me. I know when we meet again it will be amazing and even though sometimes I feel sorry for myself because they are not here, I know I need to celebrate that they are in a better place.

So here’s to you, Gram, we wish you a happy birthday and hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your 99 years up there with the family. We miss you all terribly and can’t wait until we can all celebrate together again. Until then we will toast you and look for those signs. Have the happiest of birthdays, sweet gram!

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Rocking Chair

September 12, 2023 No Comments

I believe the theme of this blog is that life is short. Choose to live a life full of adventure and fun! Have some great stories for your grandchildren when they are sitting in your lap in that rocking chair.

“Be courageous. Challenge orthodoxy. Stand up for what you believe in. When you are in your rocking chair talking to your grandchildren many years from now, be sure you have a good story to tell.”

— Amal Clooney

Photo by Ian Noble on Unsplashandpma

In Family

Three Years

August 17, 2023 No Comments

Last week I wrote a post wishing my sister a Happy Heavenly Birthday which also was Why I Launched on August 8 three years ago. Therefore, my blog is now three years old! Happy Birthday to me! We have made some changes over the years as I started with Daily Inspirations five times a week, Weekly Wednesday Workouts, and Friday Fixins. Those posts are still there and there are plenty of workouts to get you started on your fitness journey as well as recipes to help you eat better and feel better!

After about a year of blogging and after Gram passed away, our lives got a little busier. I wasn’t home taking care of her, and I was going on more adventures with my Prince. I continued to try to get posts out every week. I started doing posts on Tuesdays about Family, my Adventures with Gram, our Travels, and being a Pilot’s Wife. I also started doing Weekly Wednesday Words just once a week instead of daily.

This third year has been filled with even more adventures and the blog has been less consistent. I know I should be capturing our adventures but sometimes it’s so hard to find the time to write! Thank you for continuing to follow me.

As you know I had a meeting with the Medium. He told me I needed to start writing and working on a book. I hate to not do my blog because I love writing these posts for you. But I also would like to write a book, too. Therefore, the posts may be even more inconsistent. Thank you to those who already have but, I suggest subscribing to the blog by going to the main page here and scrolling down about halfway. Look at the right side and you will see where you can put in your name and email and Subscribe! That way you won’t miss the posts whenever they come out!

I wish you the best of the rest of your summer and those who have started school already, I wish you a happy, healthy school year!

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash