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In Adventures with Gram

Identity Crisis

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As you read in Secret to Life, Sweet Gram would have been 100 years old on September 13. Since her passing in 2021, I have been on the path of trying to find my “new” identity. I spent my life being an independent woman educator who made her own money, bought her own cars, owned her house, and paid her bills on time. I wanted to be an independent woman.

I studied hard and graduated college with an elementary and special education degree. Then I received my Masters Degree in 2007 and became a Coordinator of Special Education. I was in the education field for 16 years. In 2015, I quit to go to Thailand (to teach English) and then became Gram’s caregiver until 2021 when she passed. I even did some remote work from 2020 until 2022. All of my jobs were rewarding and satisfying especially, caregiving for Gram. I enjoyed them and all the people I worked with.

stacy and gram

Since Gram passed, I have been searching for something, my “new identity”. Although I don’t need to make money I felt like I needed a career or a job. Everyone always asks “what do you do?” I am stuck with no answer. I have tried to find something that I love to do. Something to stick. But it appears the only thing I am good at is running meetings and being organized. Since leaving the field of education, I have become a realtor, a travel agent, a NuSkin consultant, and a Blogger. Nothing seems to come easy or natural, and nothing seems to make me any money. I feel like the only thing I am good at is being a retired educator and a professional gypsy. And of course I do love writing.

I don’t know how to be a travel agent or a salesperson. I haven’t had real training in these fields therefore, it is frustrating and makes me feel inept. I feel like I owe it to my old self to have a job. But I am trying to let go of the past and open my eyes and my heart to my new self.

stacy and husband

I love my new self and the life that My Heart and I lead. We are Never Home, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to do and see so many things that I always dreamed of seeing. If I had a job I would miss out on these opportunities. So, I finally have decided that I don’t need a “job” that makes money. I need a “job” where I feel I have a purpose. I feel that purpose in my Blog. I enjoy writing my posts and hopefully passing on inspiring messages and posts to people who may need some encouragement. I also enjoy volunteering at Valerie’s House in Fort Myers.

stacy and hubby skiing

As you have read, life is about making changes. And this is another season of change in my life. I think we need to always be willing to change and be present in our lives. I have been reading a lot about being in the moment like three-year-olds are. They are not worried about the past. They bring no baggage with them. They aren’t worried about the future, and they have no fear. They are just wiggling around, smiling, exploring, and discovering the world around them. Maybe we shouldn’t act like three-year-olds as far as maturity but maybe we take a life lesson and be free in our lives like they are. Let’s live in the moment and enjoy each moment.

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

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In Travel Junkie

Ireland

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It appears we like to travel on my husband’s birthday. My Prince and I celebrated his 50th birthday chicago engagementin the Windy City five years ago. We had an amazing time exploring Chicago and enjoying a Cubs baseball game from a rooftop across from the stadium. We had a delicious steak dinner at The Chophouse, where My Heart proposed to me in front of about 40 of our closest friends and family. It was unforgettable. This year, we celebrated double nickels in Ireland with close friends and their Irish family. It was an Irish vacation unlike any other.

We flew into Dublin and discovered they have Ubers which are taxis you can get right from the airport. They speak English with a hefty Irish accent, but being surrounded by other English-speaking folks was nice. One major difference is they drive on the left-hand side of the road, which can take some getting used to, especially as a pedestrian. You definitely need to go back to your years of youth where your mom told you to look both ways before crossing the street.

My Valentine started an “old man” push-up challenge on March 1 with a goal of doing 100 push-ups on his 55th birthday. March first started with one push-up. Then two the next day. Then three and so on. We landed on June 6th therefore he had 98 pushups to do, and I had 98 lunges to do (issues with my neck and shoulder). We did them right there in the lobby of the Dublin Skylon because our room was not available yet. We washed up as best we could after our all-nighter and changed clothes before heading out and getting accustomed to the new time zone.

We walked around and got a bite to eat. Then headed to the Guinness Brewery for our tour. We made a few stops along the way, including the iconic Temple Bar to sightsee and have a beer. I never really wanted to try Guinness beer in the United States but I had to in Ireland. I think the dark color scared me but after the tour and some tastings, I decided I liked it. They also had an apple cider I liked a lot as well.

guinness brewery

Dublin was great. It was a Thursday afternoon and everyone was in the bar singing along and happy. Live music was everywhere. It was a bit chilly and a little drizzly but still a great day.

irish music

Our friends picked us up at the Guinness brewery later that afternoon, and we went back to the hotel to check in and freshen up. We met across the street at a bar called the Ivy House for a beer and then walked to Fagan’s Pub. It was really cute and we had some great food. Little did we know, most beef in Ireland is raised there on the island and is of high quality, unlike “pub food” in the US. I expected to have a delicious reuben but they weren’t even on the menu. Crazy. But they had other Irish food to try. Afterward, we ended up at The Cobblestone. We randomly ran into another friend from ski weeks who happened to be in Dublin for the weekend. After a few shots and beers (as sweet Gram always wanted), we decided to call it a night.

hubby with a shot and a beer

The next day we had breakfast at Restaurant 104 and headed up to Drumkeeran which is about a two-hour drive. We went there because our friend’s grandfather was a famous flutist, and they have a music festival every year in his honor. We met a cousin of our dear friend Ellen and a few other distant relatives. Everyone in the town knew her grandfather’s story and was excited to have his American family in town to celebrate.

flutist

We spent two days in Drumkeeran in a beautiful lodge resort called the Drumhiery Woodland Hideaway. If you need a relaxing, peaceful getaway this is the place to go. It was beautiful. I wish we would have had more time there. It would have been the perfect place to sit out by the fire, listen to nature, and enjoy each other’s company.

drumkeeran lodge

We hit all four of the pubs that are in Drumkeeran (a couple of times) and the one restaurant called Laura’s Cafe. We celebrated Jeff’s birthday with baby Guinness shots at midnight on Friday and then with a cake the next day at the family home. We had breakfast at the Drumshambo Gin Distillery which was beautiful and delicious. The festival was great. We listened to a lot of fun Irish music. Instead of having a stage, musicians sit in the corner of the bar and have what they call “a session”. Anyone can join the band, and they play songs everyone knows. The talent of the young children and families was astonishing. It made me wish my family had a few more Polish traditions especially those that involved music or playing instruments.

family home

We then returned to Dublin where my hubby and I continued our tour around Dublin. We stayed at the Wren Urban Nest, which was a cute boutique hotel. The room was pretty tiny but it was really nice and the staff was friendly. Even though it was raining, we explored some more of Dublin. We had to see more of the pubs including The Brazen Head (Ireland’s oldest pub est 1198), The Norseman, and the Temple Bar again. We also picked up a few souvenirs.

dublin bar

Overall, we had an amazing time in Ireland. It was so green because of all the rain. We will most likely go back to check out some castles and the Irish coastline. I believe there is much more to do and see in Ireland and I don’t want to miss it!  And yes, Jeff did finish his “challenge” and completed 99 pushups on the 7th and 100 pushups on his 55th birthday (for a total of 5050 for the 100 previous days).

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Family

Transformation

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As you know I am a Yes Woman. Therefore, I get myself into all kinds of jobs and I have yet to figure out how to make any supplemental income doing them. So here we go again. Another transformation. I decided to work with a friend, Taylor Beckett, as a travel agent. I have had my travel agent number for a while, but I am hoping, under his leadership, I can figure out how to earn trips for my hubby and me and discover some great deals for my family and friends. So follow me on Instagram and email me if you need help planning your next trip!

(Here is a link to his new book about becoming a travel advisor if you are interested.)

Because of this new opportunity, I started updating my LinkedIn profile, which has not been updated in about six years. I started following a page that gives daily inspiration. I read a post the other day, and I had to share parts of it with you. If you’d like to read the whole article click here.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Your journey, your story, is uniquely yours. When you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you are the author of your own narrative. The words of others are like the wind – they can push you back or propel you forward, but only if you raise your sails. Choose to raise them towards positivity, towards growth and self-belief. Let the winds of opinions swirl around you, but never let them steer your course. You are stronger than you realize, capable of weathering any storm with resilience and courage. Stand tall, dear reader, and know that in the vast landscape of life, your voice, your choices, and your actions are what truly define you. Embrace this truth, and watch as you transform not just your own life, but also become a beacon of inspiration for those around you. Let’s embark on this journey together, with hearts full of hope and minds brimming with the power of choice. (Taken from the Leadership-Daily Inspiration post).”

I thought this article was amazing. We are so filled with self-doubt, and we let the words of others impact our self-perception. But we need to remember we do not need to listen to those opinions. There is a difference between constructive criticism and making yourself better, and hurtful words and opinions that can tear you down. Choose what you listen to and choose your transformation.

I’ve said it over and over: we cannot control the words or actions of others. All we can control is our reaction to those words or actions. We can hear them and tuck them away or we can let it destroy us. We can move on from the person’s actions, or we can let it pull us down a deep dark tunnel.

Let’s learn to make that transformation from seeing the negative to believing the positive. We have a choice each morning. Are we going to wake up and thank God for what we have: a roof over our heads, a loving family, great friends, a working automobile, and our ability to walk, to talk, to move? Or are we going to wake up pissed off because there are clouds outside our window, the dog needs to be taken out, and our friend didn’t call us back?

Seriously, my friends, life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. We all could list the negative things we’ve been through every day. We can rehash the past events of loss, death, cruel words, insecurities, and self-doubt. Or we can dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening (which is how I sing Dreams!) and count our blessings. Let’s remember we only have one life (that we know of). And it is short. How do we want to live it?

What we need to do is stop comparing our lives to others.  Life is too short to be upset that your friend has a nicer car or a bigger house or more money. Does it really matter? None of this materialistic stuff is going with us at the end. So live within your means, take the trips, make the memories, and live your best life for YOU!

Photo by SOULSANA on Unsplash

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In Family

Power Songs

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I don’t know about you, but I LOVE music. My Rock and I rarely have the TV on but the first thing we do when we get home from the gym is turn on music. We both love it. I am unsure if he hears and feels the words as much as I do, but the lyrics mean so much to me. I’ve always had power songs for different stages of my life.

Maybe you don’t know what I mean by Power Song. To me, it’s any song that makes you feel good about yourself. A song that makes you happy! A song that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. One that makes you dream, one where you can quit your job, give that presentation, ask for that raise, or tell your significant other to hit the road.

When I was younger and dreaming of love, I listened to Janet Jackson and her albums Control and Janet. I felt like I could find a man where I could be a strong independent woman and he would love me for who I am and stand by my side. I remember my best friend and I waiting for the video to come out for her song “Again.” It was just as we pictured it.

How can I be strong?” I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again

In college, I listened to the double disk “Living in Clip” by Ani DiFranco. ALL of those songs are power songs. Her albums make me want to learn to play the guitar. Whenever I hear this album I immediately flash back to my college days. I made some of my best friends in college who are all powerful, independent, married women. These songs are more about being yourself and empowering you. Gravel is one of my absolute favorites!

And you’ve been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown, telling us both we are the one. And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you’re not going to stop me from having fun!

After college, I moved out to California. I had a 45-minute drive to work every morning. My power song on the drive was Hole’s Malibu. It takes me right back to my wonderful six months of living in California and all the exploring I did. The song and the place felt like summer to me and since I just left northwest PA in the snow in January, it was heaven.

Help me, pleaseBurn the sorrow from your eyesOh, come on be alive againDon’t lay down and die!

As most of you know I moved to Richmond, VA after that, and  I was married in my twenties for three years. We separated then got back together. It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to leave. Divorce is a very difficult decision, especially for a Catholic girl, but once I made the decision a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much relief. During that time, I listened A LOT to Kelly Clarkson and her song “Since You Been Gone.” Sometimes in a marriage, it is hard to breathe. This song gave me the hope that I could leave and everything would be okay.

Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so movin’ on, yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone. You had your chance, you blew it.

Then I was single and dating, therefore, I spent a lot of time with my sister. We loved listening to “Cigarettes” by the Wreckers. While you shouldn’t smoke cigarettes 🙂 it’s about being a powerful woman and waiting for the perfect partner who knows your worth.

‘Cause someday maybe somebody will love me like I need and someday I won’t have to prove ’cause somebody will see all my worth. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.

If I was in a relationship that wasn’t going well or if I couldn’t see myself with that man forever, I would listen to Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry“. This song reminds me of my sister a lot. We would drive around in my convertible and sing it. It’s so good when you are ready to move on and get back to you and who you are.

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay, I hope you know, I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you, it’s personal, myself and I. We have some straightening out to do. And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I’ve got to get a move on with my life.

Sometimes you might just be having a bad day and sometimes you just need a power song. These are just a few examples of songs to turn on when you need to get out of a funk. As you know, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE song to sing and to perform is “Dreams” by Van Halen. This song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. Many of my friends are probably happy that it only makes me want to dance and sing about 95% of the time I hear it!

We’ll get higher and higherStraight up we’ll climbWe’ll get higher and higherLeave it all behind

Recently, Taylor Swift came out with a new album called The Tortured Poets Department. There are so many power songs on it. Some of you may not be T. Swift fans. (I know my niece is not.)  But I think if you give the song , (Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me) a chance you may like it and you may feel empowered by it. To me, the song is about people putting you down and trying to stop you from achieving your goals. But you rise above it. You come out on top of everything. You take that doubt from those around you and you use it to empower you. You rise and show everyone what you are made of. It’s also just a fun song.

So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your streetCrash the party like a record scratch as I scream“Who’s afraid of little old me?”You should be

If you don’t like any of my power songs, then please find a song of your own. P!nk has some great power songs as well. If you are getting divorced or recently divorced her song “So What” is amazing. Metallica’s One can also get you into an “I can do anything” kind of mood.

It doesn’t matter what genre you like. Whatever you are going through, just pick a song that picks you up. One that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Pick the perfect song for you! Life is too short, my friends, to stay in a funk or in a place that doesn’t bring you joy. Yes, it is hard as hell to take that “Leap of Faith” but it can be done!

Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

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In Weekly Wednesday Words

Traveling

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Traveling is a passion of mine. I have wanted to see the world for as long as I can remember. My sister and I traveled to Poland together in 2008. My goals are to get to all 50 states by age 50, get to all seven continents, and see as many countries as possible. I am on my way having been to 44 states, 20 countries, and three continents. If you have questions about traveling please let me know! I would be happy to help as I am a licensed travel advisor, and I’d love to send you on your next journey! Follow me on Instagram!

Traveling is not a luxury, but an investment in yourself. Every journey is a deposit into the bank of personal growth, so invest in your soul, and the world will pay dividends in wonder and joy.

~ unknown

Photo by Luca Bravo on Unsplash

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In Weekly Wednesday Words

HBD America!

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Happy Birthday, America! Celebrate the red, white, and blue!

This is the week to celebrate America’s birthday and our independence! Sometimes I think we take for granted the freedoms we have been granted here in America. Let’s remember our forefathers who fought so hard for our Independence, who believed in this country, and who wanted all citizens to have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

“I believe in America because we have great dreams, and because we have the opportunity to make those dreams come true.”

– Wendell L. Wilkie

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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