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Pilot’s Wife

March 29, 2022 No Comments

As you know I am a Pilot’s Wife. Many of you may think that being a Pilot’s Wife is a glamourous lifestyle full of travel and adventure. And yes, I must admit that is true most of the time. But if you marry a pilot like mine you are never home! And you have to be independent, flexible, and confident.

When we travel, many times we travel on standby. And some of you think that means we fly for free. That is not the case. Even with standby, there are costs involved. And it varies depending on the airline and how long of a flight we are trying to get on. Yes, it is less expensive but you are not guaranteed a seat. Many times that means hours in the airport or running from one terminal to another to try to catch another flight to get you where you want to go.

I have learned that if you fly standby and you are offered a seat you take it. This also means that sometimes I get a seat and Jeff doesn’t. Or Jeff gets a seat and I don’t. Then you have to resort to backup plans and running from one gate to another. The other thing it means is that we don’t usually get to sit together on a flight. Sometimes I am in the back, and he is in the cockpit. Or he is on one side of the plane, and I am on the other. When you fly standby, you take any seat you can get! And you have to be okay flying next to strangers and not your partner. If possible, the gate agents will try to seat us together but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

Since becoming a Pilot’s Wife, I have become better at reading departure screens and using travel apps. Our favorite travel app is FlightView. You can see nonstop flights between cities. You can also track flights to see their arrival and departure times. It really is a great app. Another app I like is Kayak. It searches for low fares between destinations. I like to look on Kayak first then book on the specific airline website.

Another thing you need to get used to becoming a Pilot’s Wife is being alone. As you read before there are single people and there are relationship people. You are better at being lonely or better at being annoyed. Jeff and I make a great team because I am better at being lonely and he is better at being annoyed! I was a single, independent woman for 10 years before I met Jeff and became a Pilot’s Wife. I think those years prepared me for my role as a Pilot’s Wife. Jeff will go on trips for work. He may be gone two days. He may be gone for two weeks. And I am home… alone… since Sweet Gram is gone. I am responsible for the many possible mini disasters that usually occur the second he walks out the door. Sometimes the A/C goes out. Sometimes a cockroach scurries across the floor. Sometimes a big ass spider or a little black snake invades my space. And in these instances, I am the one responsible for getting that little creature out.

Being a Pilot’s Wife is a great adventure. I am grateful for the 11 different ski resorts, 20 states, and 6 different countries we have been able to go to over the past five years. I am grateful for the new friends and family members I have met along the way who have become some of my very best friends.

I wouldn’t give up being a Pilot’s Wife for anything. But if being a gypsy, being a big bad bug killer, a game-time decision-maker, a traveler of the world, and a woman of no routine is not your thing, then being a Pilot’s Wife is not for you.

In Family

Therapy

February 15, 2022 2 Comments

Therapy “is the treatment of a physical, cognitive, or behavioral disorder or illness.” People go to physical therapy all of the time to help with functional mobility. Many people participate in some form of physical fitness to keep their bodies healthy. Yet, people are afraid or feel there is a stigma around going to a psychologist, social worker, or counselor to get help with their mental health.

I am so blessed that I grew up in a generation and had friends who are open to therapy. Many people I know want to be the best person they can be both physically and mentally. And sometimes therapy is needed to become that person.

Seeing a professional isn’t the only way to stay healthy mentally. If you do decide to seek extra help you don’t have to stay forever. You can join a church group or participate in an online forum. You can have ladies’ night once a month, you can meditate, or write in a journal. There are many ways to keep your mind healthy. And these things may work for you most of the time, but there may be a time or two when you need a little extra support.

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Although I have many wonderful friends that I can talk to and who help me work through things I struggle with, there is nothing like a good therapist. That person is there to listen only to you. She or he may give advice and help you work through the issues by asking leading questions, but they are there for YOU and to support YOU. Therapy for me is my time to be me. To cry if I want to. To laugh. To be mad at someone. It gives me the opportunity to evaluate my feelings by actually saying them aloud. Then I can determine if my feelings are really fair or if I need to change my perspective.

It is hard sometimes to go to therapy, and it may be scary. Sometimes you realize you are projecting your feelings and insecurities onto others. Sometimes you over-evaluate a situation that another person hasn’t thought about since it happened. Sometimes in your head, it may sound rationale but as soon as you say it aloud to someone else, it sounds completely different. Personally, I love having someone to talk through situations with and evaluate how I should be reacting to them. Because honestly although it hurts your heart sometimes you just gotta shake it off!

Whether you believe in therapy or not, I hope you take a little time each day, week, or month to give yourself a little grace and to take a moment to work on yourself and your mental health. Read a motivating passage, write in a journal, or take a walk and feel some sunshine on your face. Do something for yourself and just be.

Photo by Marcel Strauß on Unsplash

In Pilot's Wife

My Music

September 21, 2021 1 Comment

Many people, whether they are single or in a relationship love watching movies, television series, and Netflix. And maybe it’s because Jeff and I barely sit still for one minute let alone for an hour or two to watch TV, but the first thing we do when we walk in the house is turn on the music. In Florida, we use our phones to turn on our Sonos system. In Pennsylvania, we either turn on the Sonos Move that we bring with us or Gramps‘ Bose radio. Either way, music is on ALL THE TIME.

I was trying to think of something to blog about, and I thought why not talk about music. I can learn about your favorite songs and maybe you can listen to a few of mine. I love discovering new music so I hope to hear from many of you about some new (or old) artists that I may not know about and may soon love, too.

My Favorite Music as a Child

I was born in 1976. My parents loved music as well and had it on throughout the weekends. We had a stereo and a record player. In my dad’s Bronco, we also had an 8 track player! Some of you youngsters may have to Google all of that 🙂 but we had a good collection of music. We joined BMG records and would get 12 records or audiocassettes and later CD’s for the price of one. It was the best way to get new music delivered right to your doorstep.

My childhood was filled with the sweet sounds of bands like the Eagles, Michael Jackson, Prince, Kenny Rogers, and Credence Clearwater Revival to name a few. My mom loved Air Supply and REO Speedwagon, and I flash right back to my childhood when I hear any of the above artists. One evening at Gram’s House, we were listening to Brown Eyed Girl on the tape player. My sister and I must have hit play and rewind 100 times trying to learn all the words as my parents would sign along and tell us what was coming up.

My First CD

As I got a little older, the music industry came out with CDs. My first CD was the Boomerang Soundtrack. I had a collection of over 100 CDs by the time I went to college (which got stolen from my car BTW). I had everything from Garth Brooks to Shai to Sophie B. Hawkins to Janet Jackson.

My Favorite Song to Sing with my Best Friend

I have had the same best friend since 7th grade. We played softball and basketball together and developed an everlasting friendship to this day. She was a year younger than me and she won’t let me forget it now! But we would ride around the country roads of our town and learn the words to various songs. Our most favorite that we still send pictures of when it’s playing on Sirius XM is Stay by Lisa Loeb. We still know every word because we kept hitting rewind and signing each line until we KNEW every word. We also love Sophie B. Hawkins and the song Did We Not Choose Each Other. Of course, we also rode all over Edinboro with my portable CD player blasting Janet Jackson’s Janet CD. Other high school memories include our softball team being on the bus with the baseball team and every few weeks after a good win we would all sing Friends in Low Places on the way home. I also loved The Jets Got a Crush on You. And my high school girlfriends will still play it for me when we go out together.

My Favorite Song to Sing

If you know me or have been reading this blog for a while then you know my favorite song to sing after a few beers is Dreams by Van Halen. Jeff’s mom had the pleasure of listening to me sing a few weeks ago. Although she laughed and laughed, I am afraid I may have scared her away. Hopefully she comes back for another performance very soon.

My Favorite Artist to Sing that Sounds a Liiiiiitttttttllle Better than Sammy But Not Much

My roommate from college brought a double-disc live CD back from a concert she went to one summer. The artist was Ani Difranco and it was her Living In Clip CD. Ani opened for Bob Dylan that summer of 97 in Boston. Once D brought her into our lives, we couldn’t stop listening to her. We listened to those two CDs over and over again. I can still turn on almost any Ani song and know the words. I love Gravel, Little Plastic Castles, Angry Anymore. Shameless and Buildings and Bridges. My husband says I sound much better singing any Ani song rather than any Van Halen song. So I am going with it.

Other CDs that I wore out in college were TLC’s CrazySexyCool, Sheryl Crow’s Tuesday Night Music Club, and Dave Matthews Band Before These Crowded Streets. Our favorite concert to go to in college was DMB. So much fun!

Music When You are in Love

I believe these songs change over time as you and your partner grow into different stages of your relationship and one song may work for one relationship but if that relationship ends another song fills the void when a new partner is found. Jeff and I love making playlists on Spotify and some of our favorite songs from the beginning of our relationship until now are Written in the Sand, Happens Like That, What Ifs, Unforgettable, Meant to Be, Whole Lot in Love, The Bones, More, and Made For You. We started a playlist when we started dating and made it collaborative so we could add to it as time went on. It’s still one of my favorites. If you don’t have Spotify, you should check it out. For $10-15 a month you can listen to almost any full album by any artist new or old. You can also make and share playlists.

When You Need a Good Cry

This song Show Me Around brings tears to my eyes. It really hit me after Gram passed but it makes me think of my dad, sister, and grandpa as well. If you have lost someone this song can bring you some hope even though it will make you a bit sad, too. Drink a Beer, Watch Over You, and I Will Not Say Goodbye are a few more to put on when you are missing your person.

When You Hang out with Your Girlfriends

My sister and I loved listening to music, too. So many songs and CDs make me think of her. A few of our favorites were The Wreckers, Dixie Chicks, Taylor Swift, Luke Bryan, and Indigo Girls. Whenever I hear an older song from one of these artists, I instantly go back to the moment with my sister. One of our favorite songs, when we were tired of a relationship and needed to be strong and move on, was Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry. We used to love driving around to this song with the top-down on my VW EOS signing at the top of our lungs.

So whatever mood you are in, check out a few of these songs. Also, please comment or email me a few of your favorites! I love listening to all kinds of music, especially new artists. Oh btw, three more artists to check out on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music, or ApplePlay are O.A.R, Diamond Dixie, and Amber Patino. Enjoy!!

Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash