Marja’s Perspective

Would you let a stranger from the other side of the globe move into your house and promise to treat them as family? Put that way it sounds crazy! Maybe you’d be more likely to answer “yes” if asked, could you see having an exchange student living with you as a possibility?

However, that’s what it was. At 17 years old, I hopped on a plane and after four flights landed in Northwestern Pennsylvania, as now a new member of Stacy’s family. From her family’s perspective, they drove to the airport as a family and drove back home with a new addition whom they knew very little about.

When Stacy asked me to write for her blog, I immediately had an idea of what I wanted to share. I wanted to tell the world how much we can all gain by opening our hearts and lives to other people. This is also a story of how being real and present in a moment means a billion times more than big gestures.

Stepping into Stacy’s family’s home over twenty years ago for the first time, I was nervous. Everything was new and many things were different from home. However, I soon discovered many things that were the same as in my home in Finland. They were a family who all cared deeply for each other, helped, hugged, laughed, and, like myself,  loved basketball.

The latter helped to get me a good start. I recall being anxious about meeting Grandpa and Grandma (Gram) for the first time. During one of the first visits to their home, everyone else was in the kitchen, and I was left in the living room with Grandpa. As a teenager, I wasn’t sure how to start a conversation with him, but in a few seconds, all my insecurity faded because I realized he loved basketball as much as I did! During that year, in Northwestern Pennsylvania, I spent quite a few Sundays at Stacy’s grandparents’ place. Besides Gram’s delicious meatball sauce, moments with grandpa were the highlight of those Sundays. I loved hearing the passion in his voice when he talked about basketball.

During the year, I was treated with many amazing experiences: a visit to Los Angeles to see Stacy, a trip to Niagara Falls, and many others. I’m grateful for all those possibilities! However, the memories that I still remember the best aren’t those. By far, the most precious memories are little glimpses of daily life. Coming home from practice, having Stacy’s dad at home, watching him make dinner, and telling him how the day had gone. Sitting in the back seat on our way to the grocery store and listening to Stacy’s parents talk about all the “ordinary things”. Riding in the red truck with Stacy’s sister. Other memories of my year included Stacy’s family cheering for me at the games, going to football games together, getting ice cream together, and playing Trivial Pursuit.

2020 is actually a great year to talk about this. I love traveling and going to events, but not being able to do that right now isn’t the end of the world. After 20 years, I do remember going to a concert in Pittsburgh with Stacy’s family and going to Six Flags. But when I think back to the afternoons with Stacy’s parents taking me shopping or grandpa telling me about coaching, those are the memories that even now bring back strong emotions and touch me.

Stacy’s family is different from my own family in many ways, but that year taught me that being different doesn’t matter if you’re able to keep an open mind and are willing to listen and show kindness to each other.

Having an ocean between us means we don’t see each other very often, but every time we do, I’m humbled by being welcomed back as a family member.

I try to remember these lessons in my daily life and pass them onto my child. I try to cherish the little things and be present in the moment. I do my best to set an example by keeping an open mind and open heart, and by showing kindness and caring for people who are not close to me.

The Other Side by Stacy’s Mom

Have you ever thought about having a stranger come live with you for a year? Well, that is exactly what my husband and I did in 1998. One of our friends worked at our local high school and asked us if we would want to host a foreign exchange student. We weren’t sure because both of our girls had already graduated, but the exchange student was from Finland, a good student, and a basketball player.  My daughters thought it would be fun since they played basketball and their grandfather used to coach basketball. After a couple of months of paperwork and planning, the four of us drove to the airport to pick up our new family member.

Marja was blonde, just like our girls, so she fit right in. She spoke English relatively well though there were a few phrases she didn’t quite understand. She was tall and looked athletic. We were excited to see how the school year would go and couldn’t wait to see her play. My father was pretty excited as well because he now had someone else to watch play basketball since my girls had graduated.

My daughters welcomed her with open arms. Stacy lived with my parents (Gram and Gramps) just down the street while she was doing her student teaching. My younger daughter lived at home for a few weeks and then got an apartment off-campus. Marja was excited to hear about the college experience from both girls.

It was a very eventful year. The girls took a beautiful picture and framed it for my husband and me for our 25th Wedding anniversary. Our local school basketball team did very well and even made the playoffs that year. Marja was a big part of that team and its success. She was tall and had a great three-point shot. We all really enjoyed watching her play.

In January, Stacy moved to California. We loaded up a U-haul in a snowstorm and Stacy, her dad, and her sister drove cross country and unloaded in the sunshine. Marja and I stayed home and bonded while the others were gone.  We talked about the similarities and differences between the United States and Finland. We had many nights to get to know each other and each other’s families.

Marja had the chance to go to California that spring with my parents to visit Stacy. She showed them all the sites of Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and San Bernardino. I am glad Marja had the opportunity to see more of the United States than just Northwestern Pennsylvania. Because we live within a couple of hours of Pittsburgh and Niagara Falls, we took her on a few day trips. We also went on the Canadian side of the Falls because Americans did not need passports to enter Canada at that time and, of course, Marja had hers so she was good to go.

Although we were a little apprehensive of getting a foreign exchange student in the beginning, it turned out to be a wonderful experience! We grew to love Marja like our own. To this day, we keep in touch and she, her fiance, and son come to visit as often as they can. They are truly fantastic people, and we are thankful that we got to know and love Marja. And although I have no desire to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, like Stacy did as you read in “Visiting Helsinki and Stockholm”, I wish I could see Marja’s hometown, meet her parents, and thank them for raising a wonderful young lady.

About the Guest Authors

Marja is a wonderful mother, daughter, educator, and friend. She become a part of Stacy’s family in 1998 when she became an exchange student from Finland into Stacy’s family in Northwest Pennsylvania. She is an athletic, free spirit who is a role model to the students she teaches, her own son, and those around her.

Stacy’s mom has got it going on 🙂 She raised two crazy girls and then took on the responsibility of a third. She was always supportive of all three women and is to this day. Although she isn’t as adventurous as they are, she enjoys hearing their stories and seeing their pictures. She also enjoys taking care of her grandchildren, going golfing, and always looks forward to her annual trip to Las Vegas with her cousins.