As the years go on we realize we can’t go back. We’ve made choices. We now have to live with those choices. We may not be able to change the outcome of the choice we made but we can choose to make the next choice one we won’t regret.
“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.”
—Bonnie Prudden
Photo by Dmitry Mashkin on Unsplash
I am blessed with an array of wonderful girlfriends in my life. Many of them I have known since elementary school. We keep in touch regularly and see each other often. Even though our lives took very different paths after high school graduation, we managed to keep in touch over the years. After I moved back home to take care of Gram, my friendship with them have become stronger. Yes, there are periods of time when we talk or text every day, but then there are weeks and even months when we don’t. Yet we pick right up where we left off every time. Over the past seven years, we have made every effort to spend time together over the summer and now we are planning trips with and without our husbands. Our girls’ weekends are some of the best!
When I went to college, I found another group of amazing women. There were about 14 of us who connected right away during our freshmen year. There are about six to eight of us that still keep in touch and try to see each other as often as possible. I have been able to connect with four of them on a regular basis who are still around my hometown and one who I reconnected with just last summer! I am hoping one of these days we can take the trip that we always talked about and more of us can get together. I know it will instantly be like the good ole days of college when we do.
When I moved back home to take care of Gram and started CrossFit, I met more amazing women at the gym. Most of these women are badasses. They lift heavy but have the kindest hearts. Although this girlfriend group is newer, I feel very close to all of them but especially about six to eight of them. We see each other every summer and many of them come to visit us in Florida. Some of us have children and some do not but we all manage to make time for each other.
I also have many friends whom I met in Virginia. Many I still get to see when I go to visit my family while others have moved away, and I get to connect with them in other states. These women were with me through thick and thin during the 16 years I was in RVA. Even though I don’t always get to see these girlfriends when I am in town, they know they are always on my mind and will always be in my heart.
I also have been very lucky to meet amazing women through my husband and his friends. I get to see these girls a few times a year on our ski trips. We ski, we dance, we laugh, we vent on the ski lift, and share our stories and our doubts. We are from all over the United States yet we share many things in common. So many of us in this group share our self-doubt of just learning how to ski and not being comfortable on the mountain. Many of us share our desire to travel and see other ski resorts and other places in the world. Many of us share our stories of being involved in the airline industry. Even though I met these women in my forties, I feel we have a bond and have connected in a way that will last a very long time even when our ski trips are over.
I have also been blessed in meeting women through my marriage. Even though I lost my sister almost five years ago, I have gained three sisters and two cousins (who I consider sisters:)) on Jeff’s side of the family. Although we don’t live in the same states and don’t always get together for holidays we get together as often as possible, usually when Jeff and I are traveling up and down the east coast. When we do get together, we laugh until all hours of the night. I know that I can call any of them if something is on my mind, and they will offer their best advice. It’s also nice to vent to these girlfriends about my Prince because they know his quirks sometimes better than I do.
These groups of girlfriends are just the tip of the iceberg. Somehow Jeff and I have wonderful friend groups and through those groups, I have been blessed to develop amazing friendships with the ladies. These few groups are just portions of the amazing girlfriends I have met over the years. Through my closest friends, I have met their girlfriends and through them other girlfriends. And even if you are not in these pictures you are in my heart.
I tell you these things because these women are like family to me, especially my best friend who has been with me through it all. These girlfriends have been there for me when my dad died, when my sister passed, and when sweet gram left us. They helped take care of Gram so that I could have time off. They send me messages of encouragement when they know I might be having a hard day. They lift me up when I am down.
These women are my heart and soul. They always say you can pick your friends although you can’t pick your family. I am beyond blessed with having picked these women in my life and them choosing me back. I hope that if you don’t have supportive family members or if you have lost your support system, you have friends who you consider family. I hope you have amazing girlfriends in your life you can rely on. And I hope you know it’s never too late to develop a meaningful bond with a great friend.
This Easter season I hope you spend time with your family and friends. I hope you find love and peace all around you. I hope you realize Easter is the time of new beginnings and whatever has been done in the past is done. Time to break out of that shell and spring ahead in the direction you want your life to go.
“The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we’ve surrounded ourselves with.”
– Siobhan Shaw
HAPPY EASTER!
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
I don’t know how many times to say it but life is short. Why live a life you don’t enjoy? Make the time to make changes and make the life you want. Reinvent yourself to make your dreams a reality.
If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you are eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.
~ Kevin Ngo
Photo by Brooke Campbell on Unsplash
It’s your choice. How do you want to live? There is beauty all around us. It’s up to you to find it and appreciate it.
If you want to, you can find a million reasons to hate life and be angry at the world. Or, if you want to, you could find a million reasons to love life and be happy. Choose wisely.
~ Cari Welsh
Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash
A few weeks ago I wrote a post called “People“. Even though it was not intended to offend anyone, I have heard that some feelings may have been hurt, and I would like to extend an apology. If you have been reading my posts then you know that many of my posts are personal, but they are not always directly related to me or my husband.
As you all know (if you know us), we know a ton of people. We hear stories from people going through all kinds of situations. We go skiing, and we hear stories. My husband flies his plane, and he hears stories. We talk to people we’ve known since high school, and we hear stories. So please know these posts aren’t directed toward anyone. These posts are examples of stories that may be going on in people’s lives. These posts are positive ways to deal with some of the negativity that may be occurring in your life.
I also try to write posts that inspire people to live their life. To live happily. To live with intent. To live without an apology. To be strong and inspire others!
In my “People” post I did make reference to taking responsibility for your actions. I mentioned making choices and how choices lead you to consequences. I used the example of a DUI. I think now that was probably not the best example. I know several people who have driven under the influence. Some have received a ticket, some have been in accidents, some have had to go to jail, and others made it home without any incident. I believe I chose a bad example. There are many people, including myself, who have driven and should not have. My point was to do your best with the knowledge you have. Make the best decision for you and your family. Try to make a decision that does not lead to having to make an apology.
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
In February, I shared my Letter from Gram. She has been gone just over two years. I still miss her like crazy, and I wish that the people who did not have the chance to meet her could know her somehow. Therefore, I will continue to try to keep her spirit alive by sharing wonderful memories of her and our adventures together. St. Patty’s Day is especially memorable for me as a wonderful group of people renamed it St. Gram’s Day.
Two years ago, My Hubby and I skipped the International ski week (which was canceled anyway due to Covid), and we planned a trip to Jackson Hole, WY. It was a beautiful little town and the view from the top of the mountain was the fantastic. However, the most memorable experience for me was with my amazing ski friends during an apes ski get together. We all had gathered on the deck of our hotel for a post ski day St. Patty’s celebration. Little did I know, this group of about 20 people (led by two fantastic people) had shirts made with Gram’s picture in the Instagram logo with the phrase “Do It For The Gram” (which is apparently a slang for taking photos for Instagram). My husband gave a little speech, and they all unzipped their jackets simultaneously. And there she was! Gram, our Matriarch, and her sweet little smile.
This week of St. Patty’s Day, we are out in Colorado skiing Copper Mountain and Aspen Snowmass. We have a smaller group than usual because many of the airlines went to Norway for the international ski week and competition. Our team decided not to go. Therefore, several of us decided to ski together at these two mountains.
Even though not everyone will remember Gram or what this group of people did, I will never forget the meaningful gesture these folks put together for me. Many of them had the pleasure of knowing sweet gram while some did not. But they all were more than willing to put on her sweet face.
These are the kinds of friends that will forever remain in my heart. I may only see them on ski weeks and may only get to have a beer or two with them throughout the week but their kindheartedness will forever live in my memory. Their love for us and for Gram is beyond comparison.
This St. Patrick’s week along with all the ones in the future will forever hold a special place in my heart. I can’t thank you enough sweet husband of mine and amazing friends for making that trip so special and for keeping Gram’s memory alive.
I know sometimes it’s hard to just be happy, but being mad, holding grudges, and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t the way to live. Life is so short. Do your best to live this life as happily as you can.
It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.
~ Power of Positivity
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
As you read a few weeks ago, I went to a #LEGS event in December and learned more about the game of golf and met some wonderful women. At that event, one of the group leaders spoke of the local nonprofit that #LEGS supports called Valerie’s House. The organization is for children who have lost a parent or sibling. It is to help them through their grief journey.
I couldn’t help but think the loss of my sister, my niece and nephew, and I immediately knew I had to get involved. I went to training the next month to become a volunteer. Although I couldn’t commit to running a grief support group, I am going to become a mentor and help serve dinner a few nights a month while we are in Fort Myers.
Valerie’s House was started by Angela Melvin who lost her mother in a car accident when she was 10 years old. Check out this video. She started the organization in memory of her mother, Valerie. She wanted to help children who have suffered a loss in their grief journey. She knew how hard it was as a child to go through such a devastating loss, and she felt that creating a safe place for families would be of great value to the community.
She wanted families to know they are not alone in their grief journey. She wanted children to know that other children have suffered loss as well. She also knew that every child is different and every grief journey is unique. She developed a place for these families to get together, have support, and share stories in their extreme times of need. The statistics are just staggering. One in 12 children in Florida will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18. Children need to know they are not alone.
My time at Valerie’s House has been absolutely amazing. Everyone in our training group had a special person in their life who had died. All different stories, all different ages, all different grief journeys, but every one of us wanted to help and support others who have also suffered a great loss. It is hard but death is inevitable. How we deal with the death of others is unique. No matter how it appears on the outside, we all carry grief with us on the inside. Many times we can be happy and enjoy life but other days grief can hit you like a truck and you can’t stop crying. I am thankful there are organizations out there like Valerie’s House to help people who have suffered loss, especially at a young age.
Even though I have been involved in volunteer activities throughout my life such as Special Olympics and Virginia Organizing Project, I believe this one may become one of the most meaningful. Since Gram passed I have been looking for a volunteer opportunity, and I am so thankful I was in the right place at the right time to find this one. I hope that even if you don’t have time to volunteer on a regular basis maybe you will be inspired to volunteer once or twice a year for a cause in which you believe!
Photo by ray sangga kusuma on Unsplash
Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.
For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.
Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash
I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.
Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.
It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.
So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?
What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.
It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.
I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.
It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!
Photo by Millo Lin on Unsplash
For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.
Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash