My therapist said to me once that you can communicate your feelings to someone but if their listening window isn’t open they aren’t going to hear you. Communication is the first step but making sure they understand your needs is the second.
I used to think communication was key until I realized comprehension is. You can communicate all you want to someone but if they don’t understand you, it won’t reach them the way you need it to.
~ unknown
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It’s hard not to have hurt feelings when someone doesn’t like you or someone has done hurtful things to you. But keep your head high and know that you don’t need hurtful people in your life. Get rid of the toxic relationships and cherish those that love you and lift you up.
Don’t worry about the people who hurt or hate you, worry about the people who love you, because that’s where your happiness is.
www.yourpositiveoasis.com
Do you ever wonder why some people seem to thrive on drama? They want to be in the middle of it ALL THE TIME! Why? Drama, according to the Urban Dictionary means “creating unnecessary stress about unimportant things. Making a mountain of a mole hill to get attention.” So why do people do this?
It seems people create unnecessary drama to make their lives more exciting. People feel lonely, and they want to be involved, even when it’s none of their business. They feel they can share their experiences even if they have never experienced the situation before. They want to give their advice or have people feel sorry for them when things don’t quite go their way. I feel this quote sums it up pretty well.
It seems that people who love and create drama are never quite happy with things around them. And even when there are reasons to be happy, they sabotage and self-sabotage until the relationship, the workplace, the circumstance looks like the preferred environment of chaos they have in their head.
The biggest problem with drama kings and queens is they want to pull everyone, including you into their drama. They need others involved to feel the excitement. It’s like a drug. They need the rush. They also don’t want others to be happy. They want it to be about them. They have no interest in appreciating others or what they are going through.
So what can you do when you have friends or family members who LOVE drama? The first rule of advice is to stay calm. And at first, that family member may resent you. They may say you don’t care because you aren’t getting involved. But for your own physical and mental health, it’s better to be criticized and stay out of the situation. Eventually, they will not involve you in the drama anymore. Here are 8 Strategies to Avoid Other People’s Drama by Sharon Martin.
Although it is difficult to remain drama-free, there are steps you can take to minimize the drama in your life. Stay positive. Everyone is on a different journey. Embrace your journey and if you don’t like the path you are on, then change it. Isn’t it easier to support each other than to tear each other down?
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Grief although lessens with time it never truly goes away. You just have to learn to continue to live. And live life to the fullest because you never know when the gift of life will be taken away.
Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of glitter into the air, but when you try to clean it up, you’ll never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked into corners, it will always be there – somewhere.
~ unknown
I saw this post on Facebook and knew I had to repost it. Stay close to those people who make you feel good about yourself. Let the ones go who bring you down.
Stay Close to the People who Feel like Sunshine
-Unknown
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Why is communication so hard? Telling someone what’s on your mind shouldn’t be that difficult. But somehow it is. Finding the right words is hard. But why? Isn’t it better than assuming what’s on someone’s mind and then realizing that’s not what they were thinking at all? Yet, we do it time and time again.
We hold our feelings inside. We are afraid of other people’s reactions. We are afraid if we speak the truth then they will be upset with us. But don’t we find when we do speak the truth the outcome is usually much more pleasant?
A lot of miscommunication starts with text messages. We don’t talk on the phone like we used to so people cannot read the inflection in other’s voices. We don’t spend as much time face-to-face, therefore, words are misread and feelings tend to get hurt.
It’s hard because texting is much easier in this busy, busy world. But then we just assume something and feelings get hurt. People don’t ask each other what’s going on and then time passes away and friendships get lost.
I am guilty of doing it myself. Rarely does something upset me but when it does, then I tend to hold onto it for a long time. I think because it takes a lot to hurt or offend me that when someone does, especially on purpose, it makes my blood boil. And it makes it hard for me to get over especially if they don’t take the first step in admitting they were wrong.
Many times it’s easier to let relationships go instead of putting in the work. I think that depends on what kind of relationship it is. If it’s a healthy friendship then yes, take a deep breath, suck it up and make the phone call. If it’s a toxic relationship then maybe it’s better to go your separate ways. Either way, evaluate, think about it, and decide what that relationship is worth to you.
In the end, communication is key in all relationships whether it’s in marriage, friendships, family, or another type of relationship. Telling someone you like their outfit, their hair, that you love them, or even just please and thank you can mean so much. So don’t be afraid to say what’s on your mind. Speak loud and speak strong.
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Yes, life can be hard but we need to push past those defeats and look forward to the positive outcomes that are yet to come.
I admire people who choose to smile and shine even after all the storms they’ve been through.
– Positiveoutlooks.com
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Life is all about making choices. Don’t sit around and wait for things to happen to you. Take charge of your life and make things happen for you.
Don’t wait for things to get easier, simpler, better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy right now. Otherwise, you’ll run out of time.
– unknown
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I know I have written about my Prince a few times, but these past few months have been extremely hard for us, and Jeff has been my rock. I don’t know what I would do without him. He is always there to listen, to love me, to tell me I am being too sensitive, and to support me when I need to scream. He picks me up when I am down. He squeezes me when all I need is a huge bear hug. I honestly don’t think I could have found a better match for myself. And I thank Sweet Gram every day for breaking her hip (the first time) which led us to Fort Myers so our path would cross with Jeff’s path.
Since March we have been dealing with a few different family situations. Some with his and some with mine. We have had to make some difficult decisions. We have had to make excessive travel plans. We have had to move things more than we have wanted to. And in doing this Jeff has been my rock. It has been a challenge to our relationship because we are dealing with so many outside factors. We know that all we can control is our attitude, our effort, and our actions. We know within all the chaos, we need to make time for ourselves. We need to put each other first (which at times we both forget) and work on solving problems together. Sometimes we need to consciously stop and check in with each other, which we do.
I think the hardest thing for us is that we both care a lot about our family. I think we both want that family like Blue Bloods where they sit down for their Sunday dinner and have difficult conversations but always support each other. We want everyone there. His family. My family. Even our family-in-law. We always want to be in two places at one time. (Probably more me than him because I have FOMO but….)
Jeff and I are finally realizing that if people want to spend time with us, they will make time for us. They will look for a way to get there to see us whether it’s to drive, fly, or meet us somewhere. Those that care will find a way and will make plans with us. And those that don’t, well we have learned it is their loss, not ours. And we realize that sometimes travel plans are hard to make but we also know where there is a will, there is a way.
Jeff and I are social beings. We love spending time with family and friends. We love being a part of a group and having a bond with others. When others welcome us with open arms, it makes us feel like we are on top of the world. We love spending time with people who love to laugh, who love to give, and who are interested in us and what we are doing or have done in our lives. We love those who love to live life to the fullest.
Although we have had some rough times we also have been very blessed to have some really amazing times with some really wonderful and amazing people. It’s sometimes hard to believe we have such wonderful friends and family we have in our lives. And it seems we just keep meeting more and more wonderful human beings. I cannot thank everyone enough who have welcomed us with open arms. You make our hearts happy!
As you read in Jealousy, according to the book “Compete Every Day” by Jake Thompson we are in control of three things in life…our attitude, our effort, and our emotion. If you want to change your life, it needs to start with you. Commit to the change.
If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.
-unknown
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