We need to always do our best. Whatever our task is give it your best effort. Why go through tasks halfway? Put your best effort into everything you do. When you know what to expect than you can always do 1% better every day.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”
— Maya Angelou
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. As you have read, my husband and I are truly blessed with amazing friends and family. We love all of you, but today, I want to talk about one special couple who inspired me to take chances.
“True friendship resists time, distance and silence”
A few weeks ago My Rock and I made our annual road trip from Pennsylvania back to Florida. We stayed with a couple that we usually stay with up and down the coast. I have known him since I was five years old and her since I was in sixth grade. My Prince just met them in 2017 and luckily everyone gets along very well, probably too well (lol). Even though we live 5 hours away from each other, and only get together a few times a year, when we get together it is so easy. I leave every weekend with them with my cheeks hurting from the smiling, laughter, and shenanigans we end up getting into. These weekends are absolutely some of my favorite times.
I reconnected with the couple after a pretty long hiatus because we both moved away from our small town. The story is one of randomness and chance happenings. My mom was driving my grandparents home from their condo in Fort Myers to Pennsylvania when their car broke down in northern Florida. They decided to rent a car in Florida and drive to my sister and me in Virginia. Once the repairs were done, someone had to go back to Florida to get the car.
Even though I hadn’t talked to my childhood friends in a long time, we were from the same small town. We had been good friends back then because our parents were friends, too. To me, we had a bond and it didn’t matter how long it had been since we had talked. I asked if we could stay with them for a night to break up the trip while my mom and I headed back to Florida to get this car. They kindly opened their house to us.
We reconnected as if no time had passed. We learned about each other as adults and reminisced about our childhoods. It was one of my favorite nights.
I learned they were selling their house and most of their possessions and buying an RV. They were huge mountain biking enthusiasts and in their mid 30’s they felt they needed to go. They had saved money and made a plan. They were leaving from Florida, traveling up the east coast then heading out west. I thought it sounded amazing even if I wasn’t into camping or mountain biking. I was so proud of them for taking the Leap of Faith and going on their adventure. Most people wait for retirement to do all the things they’ve ever wanted to do. And sometimes, like my Dad, retirement is too late.
On their way up the coast, they stopped to see us in Richmond. We had a fire and had a great time catching up. They visited our houses, and we spent some time at their campground. I have to say they were part of the inspiration that lead me to quit my job that fall and go to Thailand to teach English. If my grandparents’ car hadn’t broken down and my mom wouldn’t have left it in Florida or if I didn’t have the guts to give them a call, I wonder where I would be and where our friendship would be today. What opportunities would I have missed out on? Things happen for a reason, my friends.
Since that phone call in the spring of 2015, we have stayed in touch and seen each other two to three times per year. They have welcomed us into their house each time we drive up and down the east coast. They were even generous enough to open their home to Sweet Gram and the cat! We don’t need to call each other every day or check in every weekend. We send texts when we miss each other, and we make plans when we want to get together.
I am truly blessed to have this couple in my life, along with so many others that make friendships and life easy. I believe our small-town childhood created deep bonds within us. I believe that friendships should bring you joy. Friendships should make you laugh. We need to remember that we are all busy. We may not hear from our friends as much as we want to at any given moment but we need to not take it personally. We can’t make assumptions unless we are assuming our friend loves us and just can’t get back to us right now.
Anyway, I hope you are blessed with a few easy friendships where you can catch up and laugh your face off until all hours in the morning. I hope you have people in your life that make it easy, that support you, and that love you. So Happy Halloween, my friends! Although we aren’t dressing up, we are off to Las Vegas to spend another weekend with these amazing friends.
We’ve talked a lot about accepting change and being ready to let go of things in the past. It is hard, but not impossible. Embrace change. Let go of the past. Begin again as often as you have to. It is time. Let your new story, your new adventure, your new life begin!
She looked at her old life, one last time, inhaled deeply, and whispered to herself, “It is time. I am ready for my new story to begin.”
~ unknown
Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash
As you read in Secret to Life, Sweet Gram would have been 100 years old on September 13. Since her passing in 2021, I have been on the path of trying to find my “new” identity. I spent my life being an independent woman educator who made her own money, bought her own cars, owned her house, and paid her bills on time. I wanted to be an independent woman.
I studied hard and graduated college with an elementary and special education degree. Then I received my Masters Degree in 2007 and became a Coordinator of Special Education. I was in the education field for 16 years. In 2015, I quit to go to Thailand (to teach English) and then became Gram’s caregiver until 2021 when she passed. I even did some remote work from 2020 until 2022. All of my jobs were rewarding and satisfying especially, caregiving for Gram. I enjoyed them and all the people I worked with.
Since Gram passed, I have been searching for something, my “new identity”. Although I don’t need to make money I felt like I needed a career or a job. Everyone always asks “what do you do?” I am stuck with no answer. I have tried to find something that I love to do. Something to stick. But it appears the only thing I am good at is running meetings and being organized. Since leaving the field of education, I have become a realtor, a travel agent, a NuSkin consultant, and a Blogger. Nothing seems to come easy or natural, and nothing seems to make me any money. I feel like the only thing I am good at is being a retired educator and a professional gypsy. And of course I do love writing.
I don’t know how to be a travel agent or a salesperson. I haven’t had real training in these fields therefore, it is frustrating and makes me feel inept. I feel like I owe it to my old self to have a job. But I am trying to let go of the past and open my eyes and my heart to my new self.
I love my new self and the life that My Heart and I lead. We are Never Home, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to do and see so many things that I always dreamed of seeing. If I had a job I would miss out on these opportunities. So, I finally have decided that I don’t need a “job” that makes money. I need a “job” where I feel I have a purpose. I feel that purpose in my Blog. I enjoy writing my posts and hopefully passing on inspiring messages and posts to people who may need some encouragement. I also enjoy volunteering at Valerie’s House in Fort Myers.
As you have read, life is about making changes. And this is another season of change in my life. I think we need to always be willing to change and be present in our lives. I have been reading a lot about being in the moment like three-year-olds are. They are not worried about the past. They bring no baggage with them. They aren’t worried about the future, and they have no fear. They are just wiggling around, smiling, exploring, and discovering the world around them. Maybe we shouldn’t act like three-year-olds as far as maturity but maybe we take a life lesson and be free in our lives like they are. Let’s live in the moment and enjoy each moment.
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash
Airport pickups are the best! Seeing your friends or family right outside that door after a flight is absolutely amazing! Sometimes you have been traveling for hours and had a long flight. Sometimes it’s a short and sweet flight. Sometimes flights have been delayed and you have been up all night. But when someone is right outside that door with a big smile and a bigger hug, all the worries seem to disappear.
Airport pickups are such a show of love. Doesn’t matter if it is romantic or platonic. Anyone who picks you up from the airport that you are aren’t paying to do so, actually loves you.
We got to Florida about a month ago. Jeff only had a few hours but I was planning on staying for the week. We wanted to go down and do some yard work and get a head start on the “post summer” cleanup. And, of course I was planning on writing and laying by the pool. Well, as we have learned and as all we all know “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” (by Robert Burns).
…so instead of having a few hours to relax and enjoy our Florida home we ended up spending the next three days busting our ass cleaning.
Why you say? Well, A Dead Duck I say!!?? Yep. A Dead Freaking Duck. We have no idea how it got into our house or how long it had been there. Our best guess is it came through the chimney flu. Our friends say animals can only live 24-48 hours without food or water. So, it appears he was probably in the house a couple of days. He did some damage in the hours he was alive. He searched for a way out as we observed by the marks against the sliding glass doors. He definitely wasn’t happy that he was trapped. He knocked over a few things and relieved himself on our beautiful white couch.
It makes me sick to think about it. In 2022, we came home to a hurricane-flooded garage and entryway. Everyone helped each other in the neighborhood. We had the best of friends help us, and we were able to help our neighbors whose houses were flooded three times as much as ours was. I was so grateful that our damage was contained to the garage.
Even though this dead duck made a mess of the house, I was thankful that he didn’t ruin everything in our game room, knock over lamps, or break a window. It also made me appreciate My Rock even more. Even though he only had about six hours to help me, he was calm. He said let’s concentrate on the master bedroom and the kitchen. You need to eat and you need to sleep.
Therefore, we got to work. We called Terminix to see if they would get the dead duck but they said their next appointment was on Thursday! Thursday?? That was four days away!! Are you kidding me? What in the world is your service for? Anyway, My Valentine saved the day by scooping up the duck and tossing him in to the trash. Thank goodness it was trash day. We started with spots on the floor and worked on mopping it together. Then disinfecting the counters and washing anything we could take off beds, couches, etc. We used bleach, vinegar, and the hottest of water. Even if there were not spots we scrubbed it anyway.
I searched for how to clean and disinfect the house. I didn’t want to ruin our couches so we called our homeowners insurance to see if there was anything they could do. We also had a warranty on one of our couches so we submitted paperwork.
After six hours of cleaning, I had to take Jeff to the airport. There was a huge storm so we sat in the car for a few minutes until it subsided. He hated leaving me with the mess of that dead duck but he knew I would handle it as best I could.
I continued cleaning a bit when I got home and then I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about was another animal somehow getting into our home. I felt disgusting and wondered how toxic having a duck in your house could be. I learned that people keep birds as pets and even let them run free all over the house. They gave great advice on cleaning up after them and it gave me some relief that maybe the house wasn’t completely ruined by this random bird. The next day I had our very good friends come over and close the chimney flu. A word to the wise, CLOSE THAT THING whenever you are not having a fire!!
Everyone was very efficient. Insurance adjusters and rug cleaners came the next day. I continued cleaning and disinfecting. I worked nonstop for the next three days. Once I had the inside in a good spot I worked on the outside. During Hurricane Debby in August of 2024, we had about two inches of flooding in our garage. So, I wanted to get it swept out and make sure things were dried out. It rained on my car so I wanted to get it washed as well. And lastly, the weeds and ivy were out of control so I needed to do some yardwork, too.
Needless to say, by Friday evening I was exhausted and sore. I went to a friends’ house to rehash the insanity of the week and to drink a few old fashions. The next day I boarded a flight to Denver. I couldn’t wait for a week of hanging out with friends and my husband. I was so ready to have all the fun and try to forget about that dead duck.
My takeaways after this experience are:
1. Close the chimney flu
2. Be grateful for what you have.
3. Nothing is as terrible as it seems.
4. Be calm.
5. Make a plan.
6. Help each other out.
Furthermore, I Googled what a dead duck means and it said it’s a sign to move on and let go of the past. I am taking this as just that. Be grateful for what I have and look forward to the future. I don’t need to live up to my ideals of the past or anyone else’s ideas about me. I need to have a purpose in life and my purpose is writing to you. I need to experience life and I experience life by traveling. I need meaningful opportunities and I do that by volunteering for Valerie’s House and playing in a ladies’ golf league. Remember, folks, when life throws you lemons make lemonade! (and maybe mix it with vodka).
Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash
It appears we like to travel on my husband’s birthday. My Prince and I celebrated his 50th birthday in the Windy City five years ago. We had an amazing time exploring Chicago and enjoying a Cubs baseball game from a rooftop across from the stadium. We had a delicious steak dinner at The Chophouse, where My Heart proposed to me in front of about 40 of our closest friends and family. It was unforgettable. This year, we celebrated double nickels in Ireland with close friends and their Irish family. It was an Irish vacation unlike any other.
We flew into Dublin and discovered they have Ubers which are taxis you can get right from the airport. They speak English with a hefty Irish accent, but being surrounded by other English-speaking folks was nice. One major difference is they drive on the left-hand side of the road, which can take some getting used to, especially as a pedestrian. You definitely need to go back to your years of youth where your mom told you to look both ways before crossing the street.
My Valentine started an “old man” push-up challenge on March 1 with a goal of doing 100 push-ups on his 55th birthday. March first started with one push-up. Then two the next day. Then three and so on. We landed on June 6th therefore he had 98 pushups to do, and I had 98 lunges to do (issues with my neck and shoulder). We did them right there in the lobby of the Dublin Skylon because our room was not available yet. We washed up as best we could after our all-nighter and changed clothes before heading out and getting accustomed to the new time zone.
We walked around and got a bite to eat. Then headed to the Guinness Brewery for our tour. We made a few stops along the way, including the iconic Temple Bar to sightsee and have a beer. I never really wanted to try Guinness beer in the United States but I had to in Ireland. I think the dark color scared me but after the tour and some tastings, I decided I liked it. They also had an apple cider I liked a lot as well.
Dublin was great. It was a Thursday afternoon and everyone was in the bar singing along and happy. Live music was everywhere. It was a bit chilly and a little drizzly but still a great day.
Our friends picked us up at the Guinness brewery later that afternoon, and we went back to the hotel to check in and freshen up. We met across the street at a bar called the Ivy House for a beer and then walked to Fagan’s Pub. It was really cute and we had some great food. Little did we know, most beef in Ireland is raised there on the island and is of high quality, unlike “pub food” in the US. I expected to have a delicious reuben but they weren’t even on the menu. Crazy. But they had other Irish food to try. Afterward, we ended up at The Cobblestone. We randomly ran into another friend from ski weeks who happened to be in Dublin for the weekend. After a few shots and beers (as sweet Gram always wanted), we decided to call it a night.
The next day we had breakfast at Restaurant 104 and headed up to Drumkeeran which is about a two-hour drive. We went there because our friend’s grandfather was a famous flutist, and they have a music festival every year in his honor. We met a cousin of our dear friend Ellen and a few other distant relatives. Everyone in the town knew her grandfather’s story and was excited to have his American family in town to celebrate.
We spent two days in Drumkeeran in a beautiful lodge resort called the Drumhiery Woodland Hideaway. If you need a relaxing, peaceful getaway this is the place to go. It was beautiful. I wish we would have had more time there. It would have been the perfect place to sit out by the fire, listen to nature, and enjoy each other’s company.
We hit all four of the pubs that are in Drumkeeran (a couple of times) and the one restaurant called Laura’s Cafe. We celebrated Jeff’s birthday with baby Guinness shots at midnight on Friday and then with a cake the next day at the family home. We had breakfast at the Drumshambo Gin Distillery which was beautiful and delicious. The festival was great. We listened to a lot of fun Irish music. Instead of having a stage, musicians sit in the corner of the bar and have what they call “a session”. Anyone can join the band, and they play songs everyone knows. The talent of the young children and families was astonishing. It made me wish my family had a few more Polish traditions especially those that involved music or playing instruments.
We then returned to Dublin where my hubby and I continued our tour around Dublin. We stayed at the Wren Urban Nest, which was a cute boutique hotel. The room was pretty tiny but it was really nice and the staff was friendly. Even though it was raining, we explored some more of Dublin. We had to see more of the pubs including The Brazen Head (Ireland’s oldest pub est 1198), The Norseman, and the Temple Bar again. We also picked up a few souvenirs.
Overall, we had an amazing time in Ireland. It was so green because of all the rain. We will most likely go back to check out some castles and the Irish coastline. I believe there is much more to do and see in Ireland and I don’t want to miss it! And yes, Jeff did finish his “challenge” and completed 99 pushups on the 7th and 100 pushups on his 55th birthday (for a total of 5050 for the 100 previous days).
We often go through life meeting different people at airports, on trains, at parties, or work. No matter how brief our meeting may be, that person may open a world in us we never knew existed. They may open our eyes to a new way of thinking, a different outlook on life or inspiration to be more.
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
~ Anaïs Nin
Photo by Christine Roy on Unsplash
My Rock and I were on a standby flight from Aruba to the United States. We were the last people on but the flight attendant gave us the perk of sitting in the front row with her as she had it saved because her seat belt was broken in the flight attendant jump seat. Across the way was an elderly man with what appeared to be his daughter and granddaughter. It made me think of getting old.
He walked with a cane and was slow moving. I can’t tell age but he seemed older or at least his body did. He went to use the restroom and when he returned you could tell he went. I felt terrible for him and for those of us around him.
But it reminded me of Gram who always said “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” in Polish. And wow isn’t it? Our bodies slow down, we don’t remember as much, we are sore and tired all the time, we get grumpy, and we lose control of some of our bodily functions. The little things we took for granted when we were younger are missed so much as we get older.
When we are kids we wish the time away and we can’t wait to be adults. Then at some point in adulthood, we wish time would slow down, and we wish we could go back to those youthful days when there was no fear, no anxiety, and no cracking when we got out of bed.
Even though I still have almost two years, the big 5-0 is coming soon! It’s crazy to think how old I thought 50 was as a kid. Now it’s so young. I feel like our friends are the same as they always have been. We are still going non-stop and in my mind, I feel like I can do anything now that I did 25 years ago. However, my body and the bulging disks in my neck tell me otherwise.
Anyway, back to the plane and getting old. My mind wandered to my father and others who didn’t have the chance to get old. His body was ravaged by cancer and the treatments but at 60 he was still so very young. I am glad that he didn’t have to go through the stages of old age but he barely got to go through the good old days of retirement because he was fighting cancer for nine years.
So then I have to ask myself, which way is better? Growing old and losing control of your body or dying young and not knowing what you’ve missed? Is it better to know a loved one is going to die as sometimes we do with disease or is it better to lose your loved one in a freak accident that you never saw coming?
I have decided it doesn’t matter. They both suck. Losing a loved one to cancer, disease, or an accident can be unbearable. There is always something you wanted to say. There is always something left undone. There is always a hole in your heart. It can’t be replaced, and you can do nothing to not feel the hurt.
Therefore, my friends, all we can do is support one another. No one’s grief is more or less than another’s. We all grieve in different ways and it all hurts no matter what. Let’s not compare our lives or our grief to others. Let’s help each other by lifting each other up as best we can. Let’s support each other and bring each other out of the dark places we can sometimes get ourselves into.
I love this quote and have been saying it over and over to myself. All we can do is react with the knowledge that we have at the time and move forward with what we know. We can’t regret the decisions we’ve made in the past.
You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Don’t let new wisdom lead you to condemn yourself over old struggles. Forgive yourself and move forward.
~ Morgan Richard Olivier
Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash