life changes Archives - Page 9 of 14 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Home Sweet Home

November 29, 2022 No Comments

After leaving our summer home on October 22 and traveling to Richmond and staying in Wilmington, NC for a month then going back to Richmond for the Thanksgiving holiday and then back to Wilmington and then to South Carolina I am FINALLY HOME! And it feels so good.

Our home in Florida is amazing. It’s paradise. There is nothing like our backyard. The morning sunrises are absolutely breathtaking, hence why my Prince and I got married at 8:30 in the morning! Lately, we have been wondering why we are never here when we have such an amazing place to be.

Driving in yesterday was a different feel. We usually acknowledge things that are different after we’ve been gone for the summer. Usually, new buildings have gone up or new stoplights have been installed. Yesterday, I noticed how the downtown marina is still not there. How the boats are piled upon the shore. How there are still sticks, palm fronds, and household contents along the curb all the way home. It seems they are working so hard but there is so much “stuff” to clean up after Hurrican Ian. It gives me a sense of hope but also a sense of how much damage was done, and it makes me sad.

It makes me wonder how long it will take to clean up and rebuild Fort Myers. When we came down for 11 days for Hurricane Ian cleanup, we mostly stayed around our neighborhood. It was great to see such community and to get to know our neighbors better as we were all out helping each other. We have not been down to the beach area yet, and although I have seen pictures, I know it’s going to be devastating to see it in person.

Well, Fort Myers, we are strong, and we will be back bigger and better than ever! For now, I count my blessings that we have a beautiful home to enjoy. I am beyond blessed that I have a bed to sleep in and a beautiful view to wake up to.

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Empty Cup

October 19, 2022 No Comments

I saw this quote and felt it needed to be reposted. Many people try to take care of others first…their children, their parents, their spouses, but you truly have to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of others.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.

~ Unknown

Photo by Peter Schulz on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Beach Wedding

October 4, 2022 No Comments

Two weeks ago, I went to one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding at the beach. It’s hard to believe my friends’ children are now old enough to be getting married. But I guess the older they get the older we get. How can it be??

There are four of us from my home town who are very close. We have known each other since Kindergarten, and we have kept in touch throughout the years. Even though our paths have gone different ways when we get together it’s like nothing has changed. And honestly, even though it’s been 28 years since we graduated high school I still feel like we all look and act the same! So how any of us have young adult children is beyond me.

When I moved back to my hometown in 2016 I had the pleasure of coaching two of my best friends’ daughters in softball. It was a lot of fun to get to know my friends again and to get to know their mini me’s. I am so proud of them for raising such wonderful kids. Their children are happy, confident, and funny. I know they had hard times and probably thought they would lose it now and again, but I hope they feel a sense of accomplishment and hope for their little ones. I feel like their children are some of the sweetest, smartest, and most compassionate people I know. And hopefully, my friends know it’s because of the hard work they put in. And I like that the kids like to hang out with us! (Even if we embarrass them a time or two!)

It’s amazing how fast time goes! I remember when they were born! And now they are growing up and starting their adult lives. I am beyond happy for all of them.

The wedding was in Sandbridge, Virginia. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend. The sky was breathtaking and the pictures were amazing. The bridal party and families stayed in a huge house right on the beach. We stayed in another one called the “Stupa.” A few other family members stayed close by. It was such a nice relaxing weekend. (For us anyway:))

I also realized as old as we get, we will probably never grow up. We had so much fun at the reception around the pool that evening. We sang we danced, we laughed, we gasped when the “kids” played some songs with some very shocking lyrics, and we even shed some tears. One of my friends and I sang one of our favorites by the Jets called “Crush on You“. Everyone must have been a little tipsy because no one told us how awful we sounded! We knew every word by heart and decided we need to repeat the performance at the hometown reception later in October. We might even add some dance moves.

I can’t say enough how much I appreciate these friendships with these amazing women. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. We have suffered loss, had health scares, had weddings, and been through divorces. There is no one I would rather do it with than these three. Love you, ladies!

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Grief

September 21, 2022 No Comments

Grief although lessens with time it never truly goes away. You just have to learn to continue to live. And live life to the fullest because you never know when the gift of life will be taken away.

Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of glitter into the air, but when you try to clean it up, you’ll never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked into corners, it will always be there – somewhere.

~ unknown

Photo by Ann on Unsplash

In Family

Sister’s Memorial

September 20, 2022 2 Comments

My sister has been gone a little over four years now. A few months ago, my mom ordered a headstone for her to lie next to that of my dad, uncle and grandparents . My mom still struggles as you can imagine. She wanted the headstone to be placed in the cemetary in our small town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She wanted a resting spot for her little girl near her when she is laid to rest. And she wanted to have a little memorial to honor her.

After a few design ideas, my mom ordered a headstone. She put my sister’s husband’s name on it as well since they were married when she passed. Whether their children will bury any of his ashes there beside my sister is up to them. But for now, there is a piece of her where people can go and say hello.

The headstone was placed this summer. My mom lives in Virginia so she decided to have a little memorial in August (my sister’s birthday month) to bury some of her ashes at the gravesite. That weekend she also decided to organize a golf outing for my dad’s side of the family.

The weekend ended up being absolutely wonderful. My mom came in Thursday, and we had some fun times together shopping and getting things ready for the weekend. On Friday, my hubby came home, and we went up to the gravesite to dig holes and clean the graves. I kept asking my mom if she was ready for the memorial and knew what she was going to say. She said, “I am just winging it!” I said, “Ok.” I am not good at speaking in front of people so I knew I needed to write some thoughts down.

Later that evening my mom’s best friend since first grade come to the house and spent the night. We also had some family friends over for a campfire. We shared many memories of my sister, my dad, my mom’s best friend’s cousin, and of course sweet Gram. It was a wonderful night of friendship, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.

The next morning, a lot of my dad’s side of the family and friends of my sister came to the house for brunch. We had eggs, bacon, and French toast casserole. Of course, since it was my dad’s side of the family we also had mimosas and Bloody Marys. I did a slideshow of my sister and had it playing on the TV. One of my sister’s best friends brought her yearbooks and some old pictures of her. It was wonderful to see her cute little face.

After brunch, we all headed to the cemetery. In front of family and the very best of friends, my mom gave her tribute. She talked about why she needed to do this and what it all meant for her. Along with burying some of my sister’s ashes, she also buried Kuma, the cat, near Gram, and our other family cat, Ciaty, near my dad. She thought she would lose it as she talked about her daughter and how much she misses her every day. But she held it together for the most part and gave a wonderful speech.

I spoke next, and I am not sure I kept it together very well. But I said what I wanted to. My sister’s godmother went next and then some other friends and family shared a few memories of my little sis. There were tears and there was laughter.

My sister had the biggest heart and the most heart-warming smile. Hearing the memories of others made my heart happy. Being surrounded by our wonderful family and friends made me realize how many people’s lives she touched. I also realized even though she isn’t here anymore she will never be forgotten.

Up on the hill that Saturday morning, although sad, it was peaceful. It left me with hope for our family. Just look at the pictures that were taken on that beautiful morning. It truly shows there are so many signs from heaven and that ALL of our heavenly family was there with us that beautiful Saturday morning.

Thank you, mom, for putting this wonderful memorial weekend together. Although you will never forget and some of the pain will never go away, I hope you find some peace and closure knowing your little girl is reunited with the family and will be there waiting for you when God decides he needs you, too.

In Adventures with Gram

Happy 98 Years Gram!

September 13, 2022 No Comments

Today would have been Gram’s 98th Birthday! She was only a year and a half short. What an amazing life she lived and what wonderful things she saw over those 96 years. Can you even imagine all the changes that occurred from 1924 to 2021???

Speaking of change, a few things have changed since Gram left us here on Earth. My Rock and I bought Gram’s House from my mom last year right before Gram’s birthday. When we got here this summer, we decided to update a few things around. We wanted to make the house a little bit more “ours” and a little less “grandparent-looking”. I started by painting some of Gram’s old furniture. I used an oil-based primer called Stix and Red Ochre Chalk paint. We didn’t want to spend money on furniture that wasn’t really needed, but we wanted a fresher look. Although I am not much of an artist, I think they turned out pretty good if I do say so myself! Changing paint color and hardware can make such a difference. We also got a new dining room table and chairs from Jeff’s mom as well as some new area rugs that have really made a difference. One of my very good friends helped me reupholster the chairs. I could have never done it without her! I think they are awesome!

We hired a contractor and had a beadboard ceiling installed in our three bedrooms and little bathroom. We had those rooms and the front room painted. Jeff also did some work on our front porch. We had a new carpet installed, and he updated the posts that were falling apart. We also changed the door handles from gold to bronze and updated the electrical outlets from cream to white. No one probably will ever notice except for us but we love the little changes!

Another project that we loved was restoring a picture I found in my grandparents’ basement. It had some mold and water damage to it but it was a beautiful picture of the Hotel Rider. The Hotel Rider was a huge hotel that sat on the hill in Cambridge Springs, PA. It was constructed around 1895 but burned to the ground in 1931. My grandparents were very involved with Alliance College and the Hotel Rider became the college in 1912. Not sure where the picture came from but it was in pretty bad shape. We took the picture to Eva Art Conservation in northern Virginia hoping she could save it. She spent hours upon hours and a couple of years on our picture but the end product is absolutely amazing! She was wonderful to work with, and I highly recommend her if you need any art restored. I think Gram would be so happy that we have this beautiful picture hanging in our fireplace room. She used to tell stories of how she saw the hotel burning from her farm when she was seven years old. We even have pictures of the fire that we need to get framed.

Another change that occurred was the selling of Gram’s Condo. I was very torn about selling the condo. My grandparents loved going to the condo. It was such a part of them and it was the place where Jeff picked me up for our very first date. My therapist reminded me that since my grandparents are gone, I will not be making any more memories with them in the condo. The memories I have are already made and will always be with me. Although we loved having an extra spot for people to stay when they came to town, we decided it was time for it to go. We had started renting it in 2021 and just didn’t want to have to deal with the nonsense anymore.

We aren’t sure that we really need another “house” but Jeff and I are hoping to find something small in Richmond so we can be closer to my mom and the kids. Although I know my grandpa would be a little disappointed that we don’t have the condo anymore, I think he would be very happy that we want to be closer to family, and that we sold it at the top of the market.

So, Gram, I hope you have the most wonderful birthday up in Heaven celebrating 98 years. I know you will all be together for a great birthday bash! I hope you enjoy the changes we are making down here, and we wish you were here to see them for yourself. Please tell everyone we love and miss them. Can’t wait until you visit again either in my dreams or as a beautiful cardinal.

In Adventures with Gram

Letter to Gram IV (The End)

August 30, 2022 No Comments

Here is the End of my letter to Gram. If you missed it, start from the beginning with Letter to Gram then Part II Change, and Part III Frustration. We felt we couldn’t take good care of Gram anymore so we made the difficult decision of putting her in a memory care unit.

Dear Gram,

They told us not to come back for two weeks. I am not sure that was the best thing for you but we followed directions. When I came back you were very upset with me for putting you into the home. It was the only time in my life where I have seen you that upset and that mean. You were so upset. It was a sight I never wanted to see again. Of course, it made me doubt everything we were doing.

I didn’t want to put you into a home. I wanted to keep you with us. I wanted to keep taking you on new adventures, and I wanted you to live to be 100 years old! I thought if anyone could make it, you could.

You were in the home for about three months. Sometimes you seemed really happy there and others you were sad and wanted to come home. They told us they usually had a lot of activities with music and socializing but because of Covid-19 they couldn’t do it. I don’t know if these activities would have helped you. I don’t know if you would have participated or not. You only told us that everyone in there was old and all they did was sleep! Pretty funny coming from a 96-year-old who enjoyed napping as well. But you were used to being with people half your age so I understood where you were coming from.

In January, Jeff and I went skiing. Within our travels, we ended up getting Covid. We didn’t want to spread it through the senior living center so it was another 10 days before I could see you. I came back the day you got your second Covid vaccine. You took it like a champ, and we spent a few hours enjoying the sunshine on the back patio. I shared pictures of our ski trip and you told me how much you missed the snow. Then you told me to go home.

That evening we were out to eat when we got another dreaded phone call. You had fallen and hit your head. We raced to the hospital to be with you. Because of Covid, I was the only one allowed to go back into the room with you. I was seriously disappointed in the senior living center. They called me and said they were taking you to the ER. When I got there no one was with you. They just handed the ER nurse some paperwork and let you go. You had dementia. Yes, you would know your name and your date of birth but you couldn’t tell them what happened. You didn’t know. You barely remembered that you fell when I got there. I am so grateful that I was in town so that I could come to be with you. It astonishes me the way these facilities treat people and just send them to the hospital alone.

You were so scared and blood was all in your hair. After several x-rays and scans, the doctor told me your head was alright but you broke your right hip again. And since you already had it replaced once there was nothing they could do but give you pain meds and send you back home.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to take you home so bad and I think that is part of my regret and guilt. I think that is why I am having such a hard time letting you go. I knew the only chance of you getting better was if I took you home and nursed you back to health. And I was so torn. Did you want to stay on Earth with us? Or were you tired of getting drug around from place to place? I was scared also that I would be back to 24-hour care. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to help you. How much could I take on? How much could you take of trying to rehab your hip again? Would you survive it? We decided to take you back to the senior living center.

We met you back at the senior living place. We told all of the staff that your hip was broken and to please tell the next shift. We gave them the order for pain meds. It was the middle of the night so I was not hopeful that any of this would happen.

I came the next morning and again told the staff about your hip. The meds hadn’t been ordered yet. We did get you up and in your wheelchair. Your leg was swollen you were in a lot of pain. I am sorry if we did too much too soon. The doctor did not give us any instructions. He just said it would be painful but to try to make you move. I didn’t want you to just lay there but I don’t know how much we should have moved you either. I was at a loss.

The new head nurse at the facility was not a nice person, and she was not happy that you were back in their care. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I was afraid you were going to get kicked out. And maybe that would have been the best thing to happen. The next two weeks were awful. You were in so much pain. The staff was mishandling you, and I felt helpless. Hope Hospice was wonderful. They came and took care of you and tried the best they could to keep you comfortable. You just wanted to go home. And I am truly sorry that I didn’t bust you out and bring you home sooner. Two weeks later, you were gone.

The day before you passed I made arrangements to bring you home. I couldn’t take you being in that home anymore. And I felt so guilty for not taking you home right away. You weren’t eating, you were fading away. You were barely talking. You said they were mishandling you. You were pissed at me. I knew I had to do something. Hospice again was wonderful and made arrangements for a hospital bed in the home. You would be there the next day. I had it set up so you could look outside and see the pool. I was so glad you were coming home. We came back and visited you again that evening.

But we were too late. At 4:30 am on February 24, 2021, I got the phone call. You were gone. My heart was broken. I know they say people go when they want to go. Maybe you didn’t want to burden me to care for you 24/7 again. Maybe you didn’t want to put me through the pain of watching another family member enter Heaven from home. Maybe you would have made it if I would have done it a day, two days, or a week earlier. I don’t know the answers to these questions. I just know from my own guilt that I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be there to hold your hand when you took your last breath. I wanted you to be in your favorite spot right by the pool one more time. I wanted Kuma, the crazy cat, to be snuggled beside you, too. But these are my wants and my guilts and honestly, I don’t know how to get over them. I am so so sorry that I wasn’t there for you in those final moments like you were always there for me. Please forgive me.

So, there you have it, my letter to Gram. All of my guilts and thoughts and failures. And there are so many who have told me that I gave her five wonderful years that she wouldn’t have had without me and in my head, I know she was tired of fighting and being dragged around by us and just wanted to be with her “daddy” (as she called Gramps) in Heaven, but my heart hurts so bad sometimes I can’t take it. I just miss her so much. I miss her cute smile, her laugh, and her positive attitude.

And in my head, I know that bringing her home earlier may not have made any difference. Not putting her into Senior Care may not have made a difference or may have had a more terrible outcome. I guess all I can say is that I am sorry that I disappointed you, Gram. I love you with all my heart and miss you terribly. Please forgive me.

In Pilot's Wife

My Rock

August 23, 2022 No Comments

I know I have written about my Prince a few times, but these past few months have been extremely hard for us, and Jeff has been my rock. I don’t know what I would do without him. He is always there to listen, to love me, to tell me I am being too sensitive, and to support me when I need to scream. He picks me up when I am down. He squeezes me when all I need is a huge bear hug. I honestly don’t think I could have found a better match for myself. And I thank Sweet Gram every day for breaking her hip (the first time) which led us to Fort Myers so our path would cross with Jeff’s path.

Since March we have been dealing with a few different family situations. Some with his and some with mine. We have had to make some difficult decisions. We have had to make excessive travel plans. We have had to move things more than we have wanted to. And in doing this Jeff has been my rock. It has been a challenge to our relationship because we are dealing with so many outside factors. We know that all we can control is our attitude, our effort, and our actions. We know within all the chaos, we need to make time for ourselves. We need to put each other first (which at times we both forget) and work on solving problems together. Sometimes we need to consciously stop and check in with each other, which we do.

I think the hardest thing for us is that we both care a lot about our family. I think we both want that family like Blue Bloods where they sit down for their Sunday dinner and have difficult conversations but always support each other. We want everyone there. His family. My family. Even our family-in-law. We always want to be in two places at one time. (Probably more me than him because I have FOMO but….)

Jeff and I are finally realizing that if people want to spend time with us, they will make time for us. They will look for a way to get there to see us whether it’s to drive, fly, or meet us somewhere. Those that care will find a way and will make plans with us. And those that don’t, well we have learned it is their loss, not ours. And we realize that sometimes travel plans are hard to make but we also know where there is a will, there is a way.

Jeff and I are social beings. We love spending time with family and friends. We love being a part of a group and having a bond with others. When others welcome us with open arms, it makes us feel like we are on top of the world. We love spending time with people who love to laugh, who love to give, and who are interested in us and what we are doing or have done in our lives. We love those who love to live life to the fullest.

Although we have had some rough times we also have been very blessed to have some really amazing times with some really wonderful and amazing people. It’s sometimes hard to believe we have such wonderful friends and family we have in our lives. And it seems we just keep meeting more and more wonderful human beings. I cannot thank everyone enough who have welcomed us with open arms. You make our hearts happy!

In Family

Hometown Heroes

August 16, 2022 No Comments

About four months ago, our small town decided to honor our hometown heroes with military banners that would be hung all around our town. My mom and I decided to donate to the cause. My dad was in the Army and my grandfather was in the Navy. In our travels up and down the east coast, Jeff and I had seen banners in other small towns. His uncle Larry was honored in his hometown of Follansbee, WV. I was so excited our town decided to become a part of this wonderful experience.

The banners started being hung around town in June. We weren’t back in town yet but one of our friends sent us a picture and told us where they were. They looked amazing! Once we got home we drove downtown, and there they were! Gramps and Dad hanging high. Our community leader spent hours on these banners. She was hoping for 50 flags and our town ended up with 217, one even representing the Civil War. How amazing!

Our community leader strategically hung the flags near the family or near the route the families were most likely to take. Ours is located at the bottom of our road. Every time we head into town, we get to see them. I know it’s weird but I usually say, “there they are,” or “hi guys” every time. Eventually, it will probably get old but for now, it makes me extremely happy and proud to see them up there high above the town.

This program seems to be spreading through many towns throughout the United States. The banners honor past and present military members. Families usually donate towards the cost of the banner and the brackets to hold the banner. I think it’s wonderful, and if your town hasn’t started this program I hope they do soon.

Although we don’t know all of the 217 people who are honored in our community, we feel such a sense of pride every time we drive around town. I just love that so many families decided to donate and get their banners hung. It means so much. I think Gramps and Dad would be honored to see their faces flying high above our town.

In Family

My Sister

August 8, 2022 2 Comments

Happy Birthday in Heaven Little One

I have written a few posts (The Dreaded C Word) about my amazing little sister and how we lost her at the young age of 38 after an 18-month battle with an aggressive cancer. I started this blog two years ago on her birthday with one of my favorite posts In the Bathroom with Gram. My blog has changed over the past two years, and I want to thank you for continuing to follow me on my journey as this blog and I evolve.

When you first started following me there were daily inspirations, my Adventures with Gram, Weekly Wednesday Workouts, and Friday Fixins. Then I would write a post or two about Family and Travel.

Last year, on my sister’s birthday, I changed it up a bit and started Weekly Wednesday Words along with Tuesday posts about anything from Gram to Travel to being a Pilot’s Wife. My posts became more sporadic because without having sweet Gram to take care of Jeff and I are Never Home. Last year, I started traveling as much as my husband who flies for a living. Therefore, it has been hard to keep up with my writing. It seems there is very little downtime! I hope you still enjoy my posts as much as I still enjoy writing them when I get the time to write. Please share my blog with your friends and family on your social media, especially those posts you find uplifting or motivational.

So here we are again on August 8^th, and today my sister would have been 43. It’s still so hard to believe she’s gone. A lot has changed over the past four and a half years. The kids are now almost 10 and seven. How did that happen?? They are the cutest and most amazing little humans. I am so blessed to be their aunt. We continue to travel to Virginia about every other month to see their sweet faces. They are happy, social, and involved in activities. It is really wonderful to see.

My brother-in-law stays busy as well and also is very happy. I believe my sister is smiling down from Heaven. I know she wants to be here in person to squeeze those little ones and to raise them beside her husband’s side. But since she cannot be here I know more than anything she wants all of us to be happy. She would want her husband to find someone to love and share his life with, she would want me to pursue my dreams of seeing the world with the amazing husband I found, she would want her mother to be happy doing activities she loves and find friendships she enjoys (and maybe even a significant other to share her life with), and she would want her children to run around, be active, explore their passions, and express gratitude and kindness towards all. She would want wonderful women in their lives to love them, to teach them, and to show them how important it is for life to be lived.

We all still miss my sister every day. We miss her smile and her sweet demeanor. She was one of a kind. My husband and I started a scholarship for her at our hometown high school. The young woman that we picked this year wrote a wonderful essay on why she should receive it. Then she wrote us a lovely thank you card with these words.

I am so honored to have received the Scholarship. I am so thankful for the generosity of you both and the support to pursue my dreams. I am beyond proud to resemble her character even in the slightest; I’ve heard amazing things about her. My gratitude is endless, thank you.

It meant the world to me that she took the time to apply for the essay and then write us such a sweet note. It brings tears to my eyes. This is what I want the community of Cambridge Springs to remember about my sister. Since she is not here I feel it is up to me to tell stories of how amazing of a person she was. I want everyone who didn’t have a chance to meet her to know her and love her as much as we all do. I want her memory to live on. I want everyone to remember her name. And when they see it, I want them to think of her and smile.

life changes

Home Sweet Home

Empty Cup

Beach Wedding

Grief

Sister’s Memorial

Happy 98 Years Gram!

Letter to Gram IV (The End)

My Rock

Hometown Heroes

My Sister

Happy Birthday in Heaven Little One

Missing Gram

Like this:

Letter to Gram

Like this: