nevertoooldtotry Archives - Page 6 of 8 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

My Grandfather

February 7, 2023 No Comments

This past Saturday marked seven years since my grandfather took his last breath. My mom, gram, and I were there by his side. He had been on the decline for a while but it really showed the last month of his life and that last week. He couldn’t eat or drink. He quit talking, and anyone who knows him knows that he was a talker! We asked the priest from our hometown to come to deliver the anointing of the sick per our Catholic traditions. Even though she couldn’t be there in person, my sister was able to participate by phone. It seemed the end was near.

I couldn’t believe we were going to lose him. He had just turned 90 and seemed so full of life. He loved spending Christmas with all of us in Virginia, and he loved going to Fort Myers afterward. Many of my favorite memories with them are driving them to and from Florida. Gram would be in the passenger seat with the Atlas on her lap and my grandfather in the backseat snoring.

He loved going to the condo in Fort Myers. He loved sitting out on the lanai eating breakfast and reading his newspaper. Their best friends lived in the condo across the street. Both couples were getting older and traveling was getting harder. My grandfather also loved calling people on his cell phone. He was always so loud. He would usually start every conversation with some kind of joke and then just start laughing hysterically. He loved to laugh. He also loved to eat which is why he had congestive heart failure and diabetes which ultimately led to his end.

I came home from Thailand on December 18, 2015. I wanted to see my newborn nephew as well as spend time with my grandparents that Christmas. We had a great few weeks together, making pierogies and getting ready for Christmas. The day after Christmas I was supposed to drive my grandparents to Fort Myers for the winter. But Christmas evening my grandfather didn’t look well, and my sister suggested he go to the emergency room. This was not good. I was supposed to leave on New Year’s Eve to head back to my teaching position. Those first few days I was so torn and it didn’t appear that Gramps was getting out of the hospital any time soon. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but after some discussion, I decided I had done enough traveling for the time being and would stay home and see where the journey led.

After a month in the hospital, visits from family, and time in rehab, Gram and I took my grandfather home to Pennsylvania in Hospice care. He wanted more than anything to go to Fort Myers, but I just couldn’t fathom driving with him for 16 hours by myself. He couldn’t even hold himself up let alone walk into rest areas or restaurants. How could I get him there and then get him into the condo? Against his wishes, we decided to take him seven hours home to PA. My cousin had to help me get him into the house. Boy, was that a fiasco! Thanks, cuz! But we got him in. Hospice came that afternoon, and they told us he would be ok. But a few days later, it seemed the end was inevitable.

I can’t believe it’s been seven years. How has so much time passed already? My grandfather was right there by my side for the first 40 years of my life. I am beyond blessed that during my childhood he and Gram lived two blocks from us. My grandfather would take my sister and me everywhere. My parents both worked as did Gramps but he was the one who had the flexibility in his schedule to pick us up from school. Once he scooped us, he would take us up to the gym, and we would mess around in the weight room or watch as his players practiced as he was the basketball coach at Alliance College. When it was nice out we would go on the field and throw the softball around. He was all about sports, and he didn’t care that we were girls. He was going to turn us into the best athletes possible.

He wasn’t always the gentle teddy bear, especially when it came to athletics. He would push us and demand we do better. He would even swear under his breath when we got it wrong or messed around. And as much pressure, as you may think that put on us, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. He was the guy you didn’t want to disappoint. He was the guy you wanted to prove yourself to. He was the guy who would eventually tell you how proud he was of you.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t think about my grandfather a lot. I am not sure why. Maybe because I feel guilty for not taking him to Fort Myers. Maybe because I remember so many good times with him that it hurts to think about them. Maybe because I started caregiving for Sweet Gram right away and need to be strong for her. I don’t know. Or maybe he is just always right there that I don’t have to consciously think about him.

But always, I will cherish the memories of you, Gramps. I will look for all the signs from heaven that you are here and around me every day. I will celebrate the wonderful life you lived, and I will thank God this life had you for 90 wonderful years. Miss you much!

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Never Underestimate

January 25, 2023 No Comments

Life is a crazy ride and you are driving. Where do you want to go? How do you want to live? You have the power to decide and make the necessary changes to get you there.

“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”

―Germany Kent

Photo by Brendan Church on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

New Year New Story

January 11, 2023 No Comments

It’s a new year. What do you want yours to look like? Are you happy where you are? Would you like to try something new? Then take the chance, make the changes, and change your story.

“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”

—Alex Morritt

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

In Family

Women and Golf

January 10, 2023 No Comments

Even though I grew up around the game of golf, I was never much interested in playing the sport. My whole family golfed including the women. I felt like the day was too long, it was too hard, and there wasn’t enough action for me. My grandfather ran a golf tournament all of my life. I got involved in selling candy bars at the tournament when I was in second grade. Then my sister and I became the beer girls and eventually, I ran the thing when he passed away.

Last month, I had a wonderful experience. I went to a networking group in Florida called #LEGS (Ladies Executive Golf Society). It’s all about women meeting women and learning a new skill, golf! My friend, Karen, introduced me to this group, and I felt like I was exactly in the right place at the right time. Tonight, we meet again, and we are learning how to putt before we socialize and learn more about each other. I can’t wait! The last time I went I left feeling excited and hopeful. I hope this organization continues to grow in the Fort Myers area. And I hope I can attend many more of these events!

#LEGS was started for women by women. Its vision is to empower women to try new things, build relationships, foster growth in communities, and have fun! If you think about it, many men develop business relationships and networking connections on the golf course whether they are any good at the sport or not. As women, we don’t always take that step to try something new, especially something as challenging and overwhelming as golf. #LEGS is trying to change that by giving us the confidence to step on the golf course and support other women in the community. Let’s get more women out on the golf course!

Whether you are into golf and whether you work or not, I highly suggest coming to at least one event. The events are posted on the website and occur once a month. Golf is just a tiny piece of what the group is all about and part of the event registration fee goes to a local charity. The one in Fort Myers is called Valerie’s House which is a nonprofit dedicated to helping children on their journey of grief after losing a parent or sibling.

There are #LEGS chapters in six cities in Florida, but the founder is always looking to expand. If you are willing to start a chapter in your area contact Jillian Foss at ladiesexecutivegolfsociety@gmail.com. If you are in the Fort Myers area, please sign up and take a chance at this event. Come meet other women and learn a new skill. There is still time to sign up for tonight’s event at Eastwood Country Club. See you there!

Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Start Living

January 3, 2023 2 Comments

Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! My message to you is to get out there, start living, and make things happen! Jeff and I celebrated our three-year anniversary New Year’s Eve. As we take a few moments to look back on our years together, we realize that we have had a lot of fun, we have supported each other through good and bad times, we have lost some family members, and we have gained new ones. We realize that each new year is it healthy to get rid of toxic relationships and even though it’s hard, sometimes it has to be done.

This year we are concentrating on our physical and mental health. As healthy decisions as we make there are always ways to make better, healthier choices. We need to realize that no matter what we do we are not going to make everyone happy. Someone is always going to have something negative to say about us. And as much as we want people to be happy, we realize that people have to create their own happiness and it is not up to us.

“Stop doing things that don’t fulfill you, stop blaming others for your problems and stop thinking life owes you something because it doesn’t. If you want your life to get better than start living like it.”

This past weekend my husband left for a two-week trip. When he’s gone I have a bit more time to work on my blog. Before he left I realized my computer was getting full. I don’t know what I do with electronics like my phone and computer but somehow they get full, and I don’t know what to delete to create some space.

After he left the first thing on my agenda was to try to create some room on my computer. I started with my Gmail account. I had over 800 emails in my inbox. Most of them read but still sat there. About 400 of them had my sister’s name attached so I felt like I needed to keep them.

As I went through I found a few quotes for my Weekly Wednesday Words. I also deleted many of them and then put hundreds more into a folder. At least I would still have my sister’s words when I wanted them. I got down to about 80 in my inbox. What an accomplishment! I found this article by Becca Martin that I sent to myself in March 2017.

This article is so inspiring. I love everything that she says. Our lives are meant to be lived to the fullest. If you want to sit there and make excuses then you will never meet any of your goals. You need to work hard and you need to take chances. Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your own actions.

If you think the world is out to get you it’s because you have a shit attitude towards life – you’re looking at everything the wrong way. You’re using the negatives to fuel you instead of the positives. You’re letting the negatives control your mind and in turn you’re allowing them control of your life. You’re letting the bad things win.

She says so many things that I feel my blog is all about. If you aren’t happy with your life, take the chance and change it. If you want to travel, buy the ticket and go. Quit making excuses and quit blaming others.

Life doesn’t owe you or anyone else anything, so don’t expect it to. Don’t expect a million dollars to show up at your door, don’t expect to wake up with a rocking body, don’t expect to get your dream job if you don’t ever put work into it.

Read this article over and over again. It’s a new year and can be a new you! Don’t ever give up on your hopes and dreams but you are the one who needs to make them happen.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Do Your Best

November 9, 2022 No Comments

Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t worry if you are doing it right. Do what you feel is right for you and do the best you can. That’s all we can do.

I spend an insane amount of time wondering if I’m doing it right. At some point, I just remind myself that I’m doing my best. That is enough.

~ Unknown

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

In Family

My Dad

October 18, 2022 No Comments

Yesterday my dad would have turned 71. He has been gone 10 years meaning he was only 60 years old when cancer took him from us. It is hard to believe he’s been gone that long. We miss him every day and wish he was here to spend time with us and his grandchildren. He would have such a blast watching them play softball and baseball.

My dad fought lung cancer for 9 years. Again, it’s hard to believe that he was only 51 years old when his battle began. I was in my twenties when it started. He wasn’t old but it seemed he had lived a lot of life. Now that I am four years away from being 50 I realize how young he was and how much of life there was still to live.

I have said it before but the lesson learned from him passing away so young was that I promised myself I would live life to the fullest. I was going to be a Yes Girl! I was going to be responsible with my money but also spend what was needed to travel and see the world as much as I could. I was going to enjoy myself and be as happy as possible. Back in my twenties and thirties, I was probably also a little more daring about how risky I was going to live this life! Oh, how times have changed.

Now in my forties, I have much more freedom from a work schedule to live life to the fullest, but my mind and fear also get in the way of doing things that 10 years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing. I also met my Rock who enjoys life as much as I do. Sometimes I think we have too much fun but I think that’s better than not enjoying life at all.

So today I just wanted to give a shout-out to my dad up there in Heaven. I hope you all celebrated with a nice big campfire. I hope you had a shot and beer. And I hope you keep looking down on all of us and know we are living our lives to the fullest because of you. Love and miss you, Dad.

In Travel Junkie

Beach Wedding

October 4, 2022 No Comments

Two weeks ago, I went to one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding at the beach. It’s hard to believe my friends’ children are now old enough to be getting married. But I guess the older they get the older we get. How can it be??

There are four of us from my home town who are very close. We have known each other since Kindergarten, and we have kept in touch throughout the years. Even though our paths have gone different ways when we get together it’s like nothing has changed. And honestly, even though it’s been 28 years since we graduated high school I still feel like we all look and act the same! So how any of us have young adult children is beyond me.

When I moved back to my hometown in 2016 I had the pleasure of coaching two of my best friends’ daughters in softball. It was a lot of fun to get to know my friends again and to get to know their mini me’s. I am so proud of them for raising such wonderful kids. Their children are happy, confident, and funny. I know they had hard times and probably thought they would lose it now and again, but I hope they feel a sense of accomplishment and hope for their little ones. I feel like their children are some of the sweetest, smartest, and most compassionate people I know. And hopefully, my friends know it’s because of the hard work they put in. And I like that the kids like to hang out with us! (Even if we embarrass them a time or two!)

It’s amazing how fast time goes! I remember when they were born! And now they are growing up and starting their adult lives. I am beyond happy for all of them.

The wedding was in Sandbridge, Virginia. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend. The sky was breathtaking and the pictures were amazing. The bridal party and families stayed in a huge house right on the beach. We stayed in another one called the “Stupa.” A few other family members stayed close by. It was such a nice relaxing weekend. (For us anyway:))

I also realized as old as we get, we will probably never grow up. We had so much fun at the reception around the pool that evening. We sang we danced, we laughed, we gasped when the “kids” played some songs with some very shocking lyrics, and we even shed some tears. One of my friends and I sang one of our favorites by the Jets called “Crush on You“. Everyone must have been a little tipsy because no one told us how awful we sounded! We knew every word by heart and decided we need to repeat the performance at the hometown reception later in October. We might even add some dance moves.

I can’t say enough how much I appreciate these friendships with these amazing women. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. We have suffered loss, had health scares, had weddings, and been through divorces. There is no one I would rather do it with than these three. Love you, ladies!

In Family

Sister’s Memorial

September 20, 2022 2 Comments

My sister has been gone a little over four years now. A few months ago, my mom ordered a headstone for her to lie next to that of my dad, uncle and grandparents . My mom still struggles as you can imagine. She wanted the headstone to be placed in the cemetary in our small town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She wanted a resting spot for her little girl near her when she is laid to rest. And she wanted to have a little memorial to honor her.

After a few design ideas, my mom ordered a headstone. She put my sister’s husband’s name on it as well since they were married when she passed. Whether their children will bury any of his ashes there beside my sister is up to them. But for now, there is a piece of her where people can go and say hello.

The headstone was placed this summer. My mom lives in Virginia so she decided to have a little memorial in August (my sister’s birthday month) to bury some of her ashes at the gravesite. That weekend she also decided to organize a golf outing for my dad’s side of the family.

The weekend ended up being absolutely wonderful. My mom came in Thursday, and we had some fun times together shopping and getting things ready for the weekend. On Friday, my hubby came home, and we went up to the gravesite to dig holes and clean the graves. I kept asking my mom if she was ready for the memorial and knew what she was going to say. She said, “I am just winging it!” I said, “Ok.” I am not good at speaking in front of people so I knew I needed to write some thoughts down.

Later that evening my mom’s best friend since first grade come to the house and spent the night. We also had some family friends over for a campfire. We shared many memories of my sister, my dad, my mom’s best friend’s cousin, and of course sweet Gram. It was a wonderful night of friendship, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.

The next morning, a lot of my dad’s side of the family and friends of my sister came to the house for brunch. We had eggs, bacon, and French toast casserole. Of course, since it was my dad’s side of the family we also had mimosas and Bloody Marys. I did a slideshow of my sister and had it playing on the TV. One of my sister’s best friends brought her yearbooks and some old pictures of her. It was wonderful to see her cute little face.

After brunch, we all headed to the cemetery. In front of family and the very best of friends, my mom gave her tribute. She talked about why she needed to do this and what it all meant for her. Along with burying some of my sister’s ashes, she also buried Kuma, the cat, near Gram, and our other family cat, Ciaty, near my dad. She thought she would lose it as she talked about her daughter and how much she misses her every day. But she held it together for the most part and gave a wonderful speech.

I spoke next, and I am not sure I kept it together very well. But I said what I wanted to. My sister’s godmother went next and then some other friends and family shared a few memories of my little sis. There were tears and there was laughter.

My sister had the biggest heart and the most heart-warming smile. Hearing the memories of others made my heart happy. Being surrounded by our wonderful family and friends made me realize how many people’s lives she touched. I also realized even though she isn’t here anymore she will never be forgotten.

Up on the hill that Saturday morning, although sad, it was peaceful. It left me with hope for our family. Just look at the pictures that were taken on that beautiful morning. It truly shows there are so many signs from heaven and that ALL of our heavenly family was there with us that beautiful Saturday morning.

Thank you, mom, for putting this wonderful memorial weekend together. Although you will never forget and some of the pain will never go away, I hope you find some peace and closure knowing your little girl is reunited with the family and will be there waiting for you when God decides he needs you, too.

In Family

Jealousy

July 12, 2022 No Comments

Jealousy is a dangerous trait. According to Wikipedia, jealousy is resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself. Why are we jealous of others instead of being happy for that person’s success and happiness? Although I think we all feel a little jealousy at times, that jealousy needs to be in check. When you were younger maybe somebody got an A on the test and you didn’t. Maybe somebody got a car when they were 16 and you didn’t. Maybe someone got to take a fabulous vacation and you didn’t. Yes, we all experience a little bit of jealousy but usually, it passes or we use it to better ourselves through competition. We study harder to get an A. We work harder to get the car or take a vacation. The problem occurs when that jealousy takes a hold of your life and you can’t be happy with anything that you have and you feel hatred towards people who have worked hard to get what they have.

Jealousy though can destroy relationships. Jealousy can destroy someone’s own self-worth. It can lead to self-doubt and negative talk. None of this is healthy.

It is so hard. I think we are taught at a young age to compare ourselves to others. And if we don’t have what others have then we feel bad about ourselves. Why do we do this?? Does anyone really care what kind of car I drive? And if so, why? It’s a car.

I started reading a book called “Compete Every Day” by Jake Thompson. He states, “We have control of only three things in life: our effort, our attitude, and our emotions.” He goes on to say that it is unsustainable to constantly compare yourself to others. You cannot control them. Comparison is a never-ending rat race. This type of mindset is exhausting.

We need to learn to compete with ourselves. We need to be better today than we were yesterday. Your greatest competition should be with yourself.

When you compare yourself to others you are measuring your worth against what you perceive others to be. Quit sitting around waiting for things to happen to you and choose to take action. Decide what you want to do and who you want to be.

On page 17 he breaks it down by saying that “the problem with comparison is that there’s always someone doing better than we are and that there’s always someone doing it worse than we are. Instead of celebrating the progress we’ve made, we’re miserable, because we still aren’t to the level of someone else. We blame our lack of success on “big risks, lack of experience, bad bosses, snooze alarms, and crazy exes” when if you really look on the inside we need to work on “our fears, our doubts, our self-limiting beliefs, our bad habits, and our toxic relationships.”

Instead of competing with others (who you can’t control) compete with yourself. What do you want to do better than you did before? What goals do you want to accomplish? What steps do you need to take to get there?

At the end of each chapter, he has takeaways. I love this one and need to remember it every day.

“No matter what, you always control your attitude, your effort, and your actions. Blaming someone else when you falter with these three is simply an excuse and a lack of personal responsibility. Own what you control, and do your best every day.”

It’s so simple, yet so complicated. We as humans are full of excuses. We want to blame everyone but ourselves. We need to take responsibility for the careers we chose, the choices we’ve made, and the vacations we’ve decided to take.

In another chapter, he talks about forming your team. You want to surround yourself with people who want to grow and succeed and who want YOU to grow and succeed. We need to rid our lives of those toxic people who are filled with negativity. We want relationships that encourage us, challenge us, and remind us of who we say we want to be. We need to set a high standard for ourselves and live up to that standard. Life is hard enough. We don’t need to be in a circle of friends who pull us down. We need to surround ourselves with people who are happy for the successes we have, happy for the vacations we get to take, and happy for the love we’ve found in life. We don’t need people in our circle who are upset that we smile, upset that we get to go somewhere they have never been, or upset because we are happy and successful.

So, try to move past the jealousy. Take responsibility for your actions and your choices. Praise and be happy for those who are successful and compete with yourself to get 1% better every day!

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash