Here on Earth, we learn about all different kinds of love. Brotherly love, maternal love, romantic love, and love for pets and nature. If you let your heart burst with love, the ride may be more meaningful.
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
—Franklin P. Jones
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As you have read, My Rock and I go skiing once a month from December through April. On these ski weeks, most of the airlines compete by racing down the mountain on skis or a snowboard. Although our team does not race, we enjoy the spirit of friendship and fun that occurs throughout the week. We like to ski together and relax on the mountain.
Each week NAASF gives awards to the racers in different levels and 
events. At the end of every season, they give the most important and prestigious award called the “Spirit of NAASF Award”. This award goes to someone who exemplifies the passion for skiing as well as the spirit of friendship and camaraderie. The winner gets a plague as well as a HUGE trophy to display for the year. My Valentine received over 13 nominations for the award and was given the award at Palisades in March 2022. Here are just a few excerpts from those nominations.
As you can see, this guy is one of a kind. If you don’t know him well, I hope that you would open your hearts to his spirit of fun and friendship. He will support you in everything you do. This award means so much to him. Last year was the first time he was nominated, and he won! He has taken such pride in growing his ski and snowboard club from one member to over 142 on the email list. Each month there are new members as well as members who decide to come who haven’t been in years as well as the regulars who come every season. It is such a great mix of people.
I have only been a member of the ski club for five years, but I have met some amazing people and made some lasting friendships. I also look to see who my flight crew is when we travel, hoping to see one of them in the air instead of on the mountain, but that hasn’t happened yet.
This group of people is amazing. Yes, they all talk a lot and you have to interrupt to get your turn, but they are some of the most fun, laid-back, and generous people I know. Everyone gets along and there is no judgment on how you ski or board. Everyone just wants to enjoy the beauty around them and appreciate that they have the skill and physical ability to make it down the mountain.
This week my sweet love will have to give up his trophy to the next Spirit of NAASF award winner. Although we won’t be able to make the ski week, we wish the best of luck to all nominees, and we hope everyone has so much fun!
This Easter season I hope you spend time with your family and friends. I hope you find love and peace all around you. I hope you realize Easter is the time of new beginnings and whatever has been done in the past is done. Time to break out of that shell and spring ahead in the direction you want your life to go.
“The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we’ve surrounded ourselves with.”
– Siobhan Shaw
HAPPY EASTER!
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I don’t know how many times to say it but life is short. Why live a life you don’t enjoy? Make the time to make changes and make the life you want. Reinvent yourself to make your dreams a reality.
If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you are eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.
~ Kevin Ngo
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I know sometimes it’s hard to just be happy, but being mad, holding grudges, and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t the way to live. Life is so short. Do your best to live this life as happily as you can.
It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.
~ Power of Positivity
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Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.
For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.
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I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.
Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.
It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.
So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?
What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.
It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.
I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.
It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!
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For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.
Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Yes, change can be scary but put your fears away and take that chance. Learn to embrace change and evolve into a new you.
“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.”
—Mandy Hale
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
This past Saturday marked seven years since my grandfather took his last breath. My mom, gram, and I were there by his side. He had been on the decline for a while but it really showed the last month of his life and that last week. He couldn’t eat or drink. He quit talking, and anyone who knows him knows that he was a talker! We asked the priest from our hometown to come to deliver the anointing of the sick per our Catholic traditions. Even though she couldn’t be there in person, my sister was able to participate by phone. It seemed the end was near.
I couldn’t believe we were going to lose him. He had just turned 90 and seemed so full of life. He loved spending Christmas with all of us in Virginia, and he loved going to Fort Myers afterward. Many of my favorite memories with them are driving them to and from Florida. Gram would be in the passenger seat with the Atlas on her lap and my grandfather in the backseat snoring.
He loved going to the condo in Fort Myers. He loved sitting out on the lanai eating breakfast and reading his newspaper. Their best friends lived in the condo across the street. Both couples were getting older and traveling was getting harder. My grandfather also loved calling people on his cell phone. He was always so loud. He would usually start every conversation with some kind of joke and then just start laughing hysterically. He loved to laugh. He also loved to eat which is why he had congestive heart failure and diabetes which ultimately led to his end.
I came home from Thailand on December 18, 2015. I wanted to see my newborn nephew as well as spend time with my grandparents that Christmas. We had a great few weeks together, making pierogies and getting ready for Christmas. The day after Christmas I was supposed to drive my grandparents to Fort Myers for the winter. But Christmas evening my grandfather didn’t look well, and my sister suggested he go to the emergency room. This was not good. I was supposed to leave on New Year’s Eve to head back to my teaching position. Those first few days I was so torn and it didn’t appear that Gramps was getting out of the hospital any time soon. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but after some discussion, I decided I had done enough traveling for the time being and would stay home and see where the journey led.
After a month in the hospital, visits from family, and time in rehab, Gram and I took my grandfather home to Pennsylvania in Hospice care. He wanted more than anything to go to Fort Myers, but I just couldn’t fathom driving with him for 16 hours by myself. He couldn’t even hold himself up let alone walk into rest areas or restaurants. How could I get him there and then get him into the condo? Against his wishes, we decided to take him seven hours home to PA. My cousin had to help me get him into the house. Boy, was that a fiasco! Thanks, cuz! But we got him in. Hospice came that afternoon, and they told us he would be ok. But a few days later, it seemed the end was inevitable.
I can’t believe it’s been seven years. How has so much time passed already? My grandfather was right there by my side for the first 40 years of my life. I am beyond blessed that during my childhood he and Gram lived two blocks from us. My grandfather would take my sister and me everywhere. My parents both worked as did Gramps but he was the one who had the flexibility in his schedule to pick us up from school. Once he scooped us, he would take us up to the gym, and we would mess around in the weight room or watch as his players practiced as he was the basketball coach at Alliance College. When it was nice out we would go on the field and throw the softball around. He was all about sports, and he didn’t care that we were girls. He was going to turn us into the best athletes possible.
He wasn’t always the gentle teddy bear, especially when it came to athletics. He would push us and demand we do better. He would even swear under his breath when we got it wrong or messed around. And as much pressure, as you may think that put on us, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. He was the guy you didn’t want to disappoint. He was the guy you wanted to prove yourself to. He was the guy who would eventually tell you how proud he was of you.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t think about my grandfather a lot. I am not sure why. Maybe because I feel guilty for not taking him to Fort Myers. Maybe because I remember so many good times with him that it hurts to think about them. Maybe because I started caregiving for Sweet Gram right away and need to be strong for her. I don’t know. Or maybe he is just always right there that I don’t have to consciously think about him.
But always, I will cherish the memories of you, Gramps. I will look for all the signs from heaven that you are here and around me every day. I will celebrate the wonderful life you lived, and I will thank God this life had you for 90 wonderful years. Miss you much!
Life is a crazy ride and you are driving. Where do you want to go? How do you want to live? You have the power to decide and make the necessary changes to get you there.
“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”
―Germany Kent
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It’s a new year. What do you want yours to look like? Are you happy where you are? Would you like to try something new? Then take the chance, make the changes, and change your story.
“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”
—Alex Morritt
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash