“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
―
On one of our summer road trips, we stopped at my sister-in-law’s house in West Virginia. They have four dogs, three of which probably weigh more than Gram. Although Gram loves dogs, she gets a little anxious around them, especially if they jump, bark, or lick. When we walked up to the house, the dogs came running 🙂 Wide-eyed Gram said, “I don’t need your kisses. No no no.” Then she asked my sister-in-law, “how many dogs do you have?” She seemed to be in disbelief at the number of dogs around her. Gram doesn’t usually say too much, but when she does talk, she is pretty funny and delightful. Usually…
For the next three hours, all we heard over and over was, “How many dogs do you have?” We would say four. Then, she would count them. Then, five minutes later she would ask again, “How many dogs do you have?” She would count them again. It was funny but also sad and slightly frustrating that she just couldn’t remember how many dogs were around. Then every third time, she would say, “They have four dogs and you won’t even let me have one” with a sad look on her face. I see how parents get roped into buying things and getting pets. I mean, how can you say no to such a sweet face?
The next morning as she was sitting eating her egg and toast, she counted three dogs and she said, “Hmm, one is missing.” We were the ones now in disbelief that she finally knew how many dogs they had!
We have learned to accept the fact that her dementia brain isn’t going to remember the short term. She’s going to ask the same questions again and again and again. Yes, we could and sometimes do get very frustrated, and we could make her feel bad by saying, “Can’t you remember, you just asked that question.” But we try to roll our eyes, laugh, and just answer the question again hoping it will sink in eventually. Sometimes, we try to make her laugh as well by giving her some off the wall answer to her repetitive question. Then, she is the one rolling her eyes at us.
I have tried to rely on the strategies I used as a special education teacher for being a good caregiver. Gram has definitely tried my patience and those around us. I mean how many times can you answer the question “How many dogs do you have?” But she’s so cute 🙂 and I have also learned I need to find and celebrate what she can do. It really doesn’t do any good to dwell on what she can’t do anymore.
If you are a caregiver or know someone with Dementia or Alzheimer’s, Teepa Snow is a fabulous resource. She is a psychologist, and she has several helpful videos about being a good caretaker. She explains how to handle stressful situations, how to understand the person with dementia, and how to diffuse aggressive situations.
I am just thankful we have amazing family and friends who understand her and just keep answering the question “how many dogs do you have?”
What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales to what lies inside of you.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Best and Most Beautiful Things in the World Cannot Be Seen or Even Touched, They Must Be Felt with the Heart.
– Helen Keller
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried but you’ve actually been planted.”
– Christine Caine
Welcome to Friday Fixins! As you read in Eat Better and Move Better, every Friday we will post a meal we enjoy making and eating. The pictures are real and probably aren’t going to win any presentation awards, but the meals are delicious! My husband and I enjoy cooking and eating healthy. Because he eats out when he is working, we usually try to cook at the house when he is home. We follow the meal plan of a lean protein, the right carb, and healthy fat at each meal. We learned this lifestyle plan from Bill Lawrence who owns Bill Lawrence’s Personal Fitness and CrossFit Meadville.
One of the benefits of being a Pilot’s Wife is that when he has a layover in Alaska, he will bring home fresh fish and seafood. Recently, he brought home wild Halibut. He seasoned it with a touch of olive oil, Nature Seasons, and a pinch of parmesan cheese and bread crumbs. Then he placed it on a baking sheet(covered with parchment paper) and baked it in the oven on 400 for 20 minutes. The cooking time may vary depending on the thickness of the fish. We make our broccoli and cauliflower the same way every time 🙂 We usually use a head of cauliflower and three heads of broccoli. We cut it up, mix it in a bowl with olive oil and Nature Seasons, then spread it out on a baking sheet and bake it for 30 minutes at 400 degrees in the oven. We usually stir it up halfway through. The key is to eat a variety of foods and to make that food taste amazing!
“The big secret in life is that there is no secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.”
– Oprah Winfrey
Before starting any workout, you should do a 5-8 minute warm-up to get your body warmed up. You will not need any equipment (unless you would like to make this workout more challenging) for this leg day.
For Leg Day, you will do these 4 exercises for 1 minute each. Work for 45 seconds, then take a 15-second rest. You will repeat each exercise for 4 minutes before moving on to the next one. For example, do skaters for 45 seconds, rest for 15, do skaters again for another 45 seconds and rest, repeat two more times. Then move on to the next movement. The total workout will take 16 minutes. With any workout, challenge yourself to go as fast as you can and are able to keep good form. This is your workout so modify it as you see needed. Put in as much effort as you can to get 1% better.
- skater
- single-leg glute bridges
- curtsy lunge
- sumo squat
Modifications: Besides modifying the movements as directed below, you can also modify the time as well as the number of rounds you do for each exercise. For example, instead of doing each exercise four times, you can do it twice. Or if you need more, you can go through the workout again for a 32-minute workout.
For the Beginner:
- skater=step side to side, work on your balance, hold the position for a second or two
- glute bridges=both legs together for all four rounds
- curtsy lunge=regular lunge forward holding onto a chair if you need help with balance
- sumo squat=air squat with legs shoulder width apart
To make it more Challenging:
- skater=touch the ground each time side to side
- glute bridges=use a light weight
- curtsy lunge=use a light weight and do a bicep curl with each lunge
- sumo squat=use a light weight
Click here for a warm-up and here for leg day movements or click on the links above.
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
– Roy T. Bennett
On August 8th, when I was three years old, I got the gift of a little sister. I am sure I only picked on her a few times throughout our childhood. Needless to say, although we were a few years apart, we got along very well and became best friends. She went with me wherever I went. Maybe I was made to take her, but I enjoyed every minute with her.
We grew up in a town where many of the kids in my grade had younger siblings in her grade. We grew up in a town where most of the parents were in the same social class and made about the same amount of money. We grew up in a town where there wasn’t a lot of diversity, but no one was cultural bias either. We grew up in a town where kindergarten students rode the bus with seniors in high school and it wasn’t a big deal because everyone had an older cousin to keep an eye on them. We grew up in a town where we walked home safely from school. We grew up in a town where we played outside until dark. We grew up in a town where most parents knew each other and a lot of them even went to school together.
As you read in “How Did I Get Here“, my sister and I grew up close to our grandparents. We took family trips together. We took Catholic school classes together. She was my best friend. I went off to college and even though I was only 30 minutes away, I think she felt left behind.
After college, I moved away. After a few months in California, I ended up in Virginia. I begged her to follow me after she graduated, and three years later, she did. I told her you can always go back but if you don’t take the plunge and move away after college, you may never go.
We played sports together through River City Sports and Social Club and Richmond Volleyball Club. She eventually got a job teaching in the same county where I was working. She coached volleyball, I coached basketball, and we coached JV softball together. She was an inspiration to the girls, and we both had a “work hard, be respectful, make good grades” coaching style. We enjoyed the girls, and I think they enjoyed us.
Our dad was fighting lung cancer at the time and after five years of teaching, she decided she wanted to go back to our hometown in Northwestern Pennsylvania to get her nursing degree. She moved back home and helped with Dad for almost two years. After she finished her nursing degree, she decided to come back to Virginia.
She got a job at one of the local hospitals. It was there where she met her husband, who was a frequent visitor because his mother was there battling Crohn’s Disease. After three years of dating, they got married. My dad made it to her wedding day and had enough strength to walk her down the aisle without his cumbersome oxygen tank. In May 2012, he took his last breath. My mom, sister, and I were there to hold his hand as he rose into the afterlife. Although he didn’t get to see his first grandchild, he knew my sister was pregnant. A few months later, she gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. Three years later, my nephew was born.
In December 2016, we got the most horrifying news. My sister had a cyst. When they removed it, they found out it was malignant. We couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to go through another battle with cancer.
I was so sure she would beat it. Our father fought lung cancer for eight years and even lived another year with a collapsed lung. I had no doubt she would have at least nine more years here on Earth.
But I was wrong. In May 2018, we (my mom, brother-in-law, and myself) surrounded her as she took her last breath at the young age of 38. I am not sure why God took her. It makes me so sad, mad, and upset. I don’t understand his plan. Her body was ravaged by a cancer that could never be pinpointed. It spread like wildfire. It was devastating. I am thankful she is no longer suffering, but I miss my best friend every day. I miss her advice. I miss her kind heart. I miss her smile. I miss her for the children, her husband, and our mother.
I launched on August 8th, my sister’s birthday, in her honor and memory. She will forever live in my heart, giving me strength and inspiring me every time I look at her pictures and those two little children of hers.