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Today is my little sister’s birthday. She would have been 44 years old. Happy heavenly birthday, little one. It’s hard to believe that it’s been five years, and we haven’t been able to celebrate your birthday together. I know you are here with us everyday (and my session with Medium helped me realize that even more), but it still hurts that I can’t call you up on the phone and hear your voice.

little one with cake

This is a hard day for everyone that knew you, but I know we should celebrate the years we had with you. We need to look back on the memories and cherish all the laughs that we shared. You brightened up a room and our hearts every day.

I know this will be a hard day for my mom. I hope she has a good cry and then goes out doing something she loves to celebrate her giving birth day. She misses you so much. Maybe you can send her an extra sign from Heaven today to let her know how magical it is up there and that you are okay.

mom and sister at steelers game

Birthdays can be exciting, but they also can be hard. As a little kid you can’t wait to get older! Then as an adult you keep wishing you were younger. (Or at least feel younger!) I feel like sometimes people are reluctant to tell you how old they are especially as that number gets higher. Why? Why should we be embarrassed as to how old we are? Why should we be reluctant to say a number of how many times we’ve been around the sun? My message to you is be loud and be proud of that number because there are some people who never get to celebrate that day.

My dear sister, we love you more than you will know and miss you twice as much. Life on Earth is hard without you but as you know we can’t quit living because of you dying. We know you’d love to be here with us but your calling came early and you were needed in Heaven. I know the best way to honor you is to live our lives with happiness, with grace, and with kindness. The best way to honor you is to let our hearts shine as yours did.

Love and miss you, little one, happy birthday!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

April 2023 will forever hold a special place in my heart. We had the pleasure of hosting my brother-in-law, his girlfriend, our niece, and nephew at our home in Fort Myers. I was so excited they were coming for spring break. I hadn’t seen the kids since Christmas, and I couldn’t wait.

spring break fam

We had so much fun with them. They got here on my Birthday, which is the best present that I could have wished for. They were tired of being in the car and ready to swim. They immediately jumped in the pool wasting no time sitting in the house. After a while, we decided to open my presents by the pool. We Facetimed with my mom who was enjoying a mini vacation of her own with her cousin out in Las Vegas. I got a new driver and two new hybrids for golfing and a bottle of tequila. Perfect presents and a wonderful start to Spring Break.

That evening we went to a country concert at an outdoor venue called “Alliance for the Arts“. It’s a great place for concerts and any outdoor event. Plus, it was right down the road so we took the golf cart and two bicycles. It was a fun ride there and home! The bands were really good. They had Hayden Coffman, Cody Cozz, Drew Parker, and Kayley Bishop. Great up-and-coming artists. We danced and laughed and talked.

When we got home the kids decided it was time for a night swim. We could hardly keep them out of the pool. Once they got out we had some birthday ice cream and a Bailey’s and chocolate vodka nightcap. Jeff’s specialty (next to his famous margaritas). The kids were exhausted and went to bed. The adults decided it was time to sing on the two karaoke microphones my friend Dani sent me for my birthday. We stayed up way too late but had so much fun!

spring break singing

I don’t think my niece was very happy with us (for keeping her up with our singing) but it was a great beginning to our week. The next day we loaded up the bicycles in the truck and went down to Fort Myers beach. We rode around and showed them some of the devastation of Hurricane Ian. We played at the beach and swam in the Gulf. The kids had a great time as did we. We rode the bikes back over the bridge and then of course had to stop at the Love Boat for ice cream!

The kids got back in the pool when we got home. It was an early night because we wanted to get up and get on the boat the next day. We packed sandwiches and snacks and got out on the boat. We went to Sanibel Island and anchored off shore. My brother-in-law found some sand dollars which are all over the Gulf floor. We tried to go to Lover’s Key but the tide was too strong and it was still closed from the Hurricane.

spring break boat

We rode around the backside of Fort Myers beach and saw a huge stingray jump straight up and out of the water! We saw dolphins and they even played in our wake for a few minutes. It was another beautiful day on the boat.

Overall, it was a great spring break. We played card games and Rumikub. The kids swam all hours in the pool. We had so much fun giggling, laughing and getting to know each other better. I hope to make this spring break an annual event. (just hoping my brother-in-law feels the same way!) Maybe one day we can have the kids down for Camp Aunt Stacy!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

I am sure you have heard about Hurricane Ian and the devastation the storm caused all over the state of Florida on September 28, 2022. The eye went right over Cape Coral and Fort Myers was right in the path of destruction. I remember being in Richmond, Virginia when Hurricane Gaston came through. It was windy, and we lost power for 10 days. Of course, we bought a generator but never used it!

Gaston gave Richmond so much rain that our historic downtown was flooded. Downtown Richmond is called Shockhoe Bottom because it is at the bottom of two hills. The area had over six feet of water in restaurants, businesses, and houses. Cars were floating all over the place and then landed on top of each other. People needed to be rescued from their cars, apartments, and bridges. It was one of the saddest things I had seen.

gaston

Hurricane Ian started unfolding September 24th. I was in Virginia Beach for a wedding and I was going to fly to Florida on Monday. Jeff was going to meet me there Wednesday to check on the house and clean the boat. My mom had been watching the weather and suggested we not go because of the potential storm. We agreed, and I headed back to Pennsylvania after the wedding weekend.

At first, we were concerned about our friends and family in the Tampa area, but then the storm turned south, and we became very concerned about our friends, family, and our home in Fort Myers. My Valentine and I were in our summer home watching Hurricane Ian unfold on our TV.

My husband was pretty relaxed at first. He has been through a few hurricanes and said the news always talks about storm surges and wind. He said storm surge never happens. Even though we thought things would be okay we had our son take a few things inside and asked our friends to go over and help tie up the boat. Our son was going to Cape Coral with his buddies and our other son came to North Fort Myers to stay with his mom.

As we watched on the screen we were horrified at how huge this storm was building up to be. It was strong and slow and was heading right for us. I was nervous and wasn’t sure what was going to happen. We were able to talk with a few friends and family members until the power went out but then all we could do was watch. We still have a few cameras set up around the house from our caregiving days, and we watched as our new pool door kept swinging open and then slamming closed. Around 3 pm, our power went out. We stayed in touch with the neighbors for another couple of hours, but we didn’t want to drain their phone batteries. We just wanted to know what was going on but all we had was the storm coverage.

We received this picture of the street straight out from our house. The neighbors said the whole neighborhood was flooded with about four feet of water which meant our house house was surrounded by water. Then we lost touch with everyone and just had to start praying that everyone was going to be ok.

ian down our street

The next morning we were able to get in touch with our son and Jeff’s dad. They said the storm was crazy and the scariest thing they had been through. Our son went back to our house and called us. Water was still halfway up our driveway and in our backyard, our garage doors were pushed open, and the garage was in disarray. He said, “You guys need to get here NOW!” I was scared of what we were going to come home to.

ian in garage

We booked a flight out of Cleveland into Fort Myers but it was canceled. So we got one out of Pittsburgh into Fort Lauderdale. Our friend’s daughter picked us up along with her mom who was able to get a flight out of Cleveland.  The normal two-hour ride from Lauderdale to Fort Myers seemed like it took forever. Traffic was heavy and everyone was stopping for gas and other supplies.

We got to our house and opened the garage door. Wow. We just kind of stood there in disbelief. My car and our son’s friend’s car were trashed. Paddle boards were lifted and landed in awkward positions. Trash cans were full of water. Trash was spilled from the bags. There was half an inch of soot and dirt and muck covering everything. There were still two inches of water in my car.

ian in our garage

We didn’t know where to start. We couldn’t even clear a path to get into the house. So we just got straight to work. Thank goodness our friends and their daughter were with us. They had clear minds and weren’t emotionally attached to our stuff so they just started pulling things out of our garage one by one. We made piles of things to be saved and things to go in the trash. The things to save had to be power-washed and sanitized. But it was a start.  We only did one-half of the garage that day. But what a long day it was.

Even though we were exhausted we felt blessed. Our neighbors down each of our side streets had 46 inches of water throughout their whole house. We had 46 inches of water in our garage and about 18 inches in our entryway. Our house and our pool happened to be on a 48-inch cement block. We were two inches away from destruction. I couldn’t even imagine where we would have started if our whole house looked like our garage did.

ian entryway

At the end of the day, we were covered in mud. We were exhausted physically and emotionally. Even though we considered ourselves blessed and lucky to only have the mess in the garage and our front entryway, we still couldn’t believe it.

On day two we continued cleaning. We finished up the garage and got the entryway clean. We felt we were in a decent spot. We worked on our yard then we started helping our neighbors. We power-washed driveways, pool decks, and inside of people’s homes. We cut and dragged out wet heavy carpet. We pulled people’s washers, dryers, refrigerators, bedroom sets, TVs, tables, chairs, and clothes to the curb. There was no saving of anything. it all needed to be removed and need to be taken to the curb.

ian along the street

The crazy thing was that people would come around and ask or just take it from the garbage pile. More power to them is they can fix it but these tools had been covered in water for at least 48 hours. It helped us get rid of the pile in our house so we said take it!

As we talked with more and more neighbors we realized how devastating this storm was. Three of our neighbors stayed. One was in a one-story, and he was wading in water for over 12 hours. He slept on top of his truck because he didn’t know where else to go. How horrifying. We heard of other stories of people swimming from one house to another. Or rescuing people who were floating by. It made me thankful that we were not in Fort Myers at the time of the storm.

ian side yard

What I did notice was how the whole neighborhood came together. Everyone got done what they could in their homes then they were all out on the street helping each other. Helping each other move or lift furniture, helping each other power wash the garage floor, pool deck, or driveway, and helping each other return items to their rightful owner after digging it out from the rubbish pile left behind. Then at the end of the day we all came together to sit on the back deck and have a beer. I guess in every storm there is a silver lining. People helping people was an inspiring sight to see.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

Happy Birthday, America! Today, we celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence from Great Britain. Our forefathers fought for our freedoms and today we recognize our lucky we are to live in the United States of America.

Most of us will celebrate by having the day off of work. We will eat hamburgers and hot dogs because that’s the American way. We will probably have a beer or two to celebrate the day off and the freedom we have to have a beer anytime we want to.

For the past two years, my Prince and I celebrated July 4th with friends on Lake Anna in Virginia. They have a wonderful fireworks display every year, and we were blessed enough to be out on a boat looking up at these amazing lights.

independence day flag and fireworks

This year we also spent the holiday weekend on the water. Our friends took us out on their boat Saturday and out on jet skies on Sunday. This time we were in the great state of Wisconsin. We got to experience the water of Green Bay and saw the vastness of Lake Michigan. It is amazing how big the Great Lakes are.

independence day jet ski

The shoreline around Green Bay was amazing. It was full of rocks, limestone, cliffs and beautiful houses. My Rock and I had a great time on the water. I had not been on water skies in over 30 years, but I was able to pop right up! It makes me appreciate our lifestyle. We try to eat well and stay in shape (make sure you check out my recipes and workouts) so that we can do these activities even if we only get the opportunity once every few years!

Overall, our time in Green Bay was pretty amazing. We saw some great sunsets, had some good laughs, and spent some quality time with friends. We saw Egg Harbor, Door County, Fish Creek, as well as other stops along the way. Thank you friends for the wonderful weekend!

sunset in wisconsin

If you haven’t heard, last Thursday we started our trek out west where we will spend some time in Park City, Utah. We spent Thursday night in Chicago and then the weekend in Green Bay. Yesterday, we drove to Lincoln, Nebraska where we saw fireworks going off all along the water. The displays went on forever. Today, we will continue our drive and celebrate our independence somewhere in Wyoming. Hopefully we can find a wonderful fireworks display tonight.

Nebraska state sign

I wish you all a safe and happy holiday! Celebrate and appreciate the independence that we have.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Life is short but we have the ability to change our story and to choose our own adventures. Take control of your life. Write the story you want to live. Choose the adventure you want to go on.

“Our lives are stories in which we write, direct and star in the leading role. Some chapters are happy while others bring lessons to learn, but we always have the power to be the heroes of our own adventures.”

– Joelle Speranza

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

This week my niece will be graduating from fifth grade. It is so hard to believe. It seems like just last week she was born and yesterday she was starting kindergarten. But here we are six years of school already completed and the first graduation is upon us.

sister's graduationMy sister and I grew up in a town where we went to elementary school from Kindergarten through sixth grade. Then middle school and high school were in the same building. Therefore, you graduated from sixth grade and twelfth grade. That was it. Only two graduations.

It makes me sad that my sister isn’t here to watch her baby walk down her first aisle of many. It makes me sad that she won’t be there to hug her princess and tell her how proud she is of her. So I thought I would try to let my niece know how much she is loved. I was able to go to Virginia last week, and I spent some time with my niece having lunch and giving her a few graduation gifts.

If you know me, you know I enjoy taking pictures and then making books and calendars. I use Snapfish and have for years. I love the company and the products. I make the kids a book of memories every year for their birthdays. And every year for Christmas I make the members of our families a calendar to hang on their wall. Therefore, I thought it would be a fun idea to make my niece a book of her first 10 years of memories for her graduation.

In this book, I also included some younger pictures of my sister and myself. I wanted my niece to see how cute we were 🙂 when we were younger and how fun the clothing and hair styles were! It was fun yet sad to look back on all the pictures of my sis and me. Man, did it make me miss her.

us as kids

I do hope my niece cherishes the book. She may not understand all that it means. Right now she wants to be a kid who plays softball, who swims, who smiles, who dances and who doesn’t necessarily want to think about missing her mom. Maybe she just wants to be a kid who is normal. And I am proud of her for being that kid. But as she gets older I hope she realizes how special her mother was. And I hope she will look back on the memories that are shared with her, and she will smile and treasure all that there are.

Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Tuesday, May 23rd, marked 11 years since we lost my dad. He had been battling stage III lung cancer for nine years. He had a tumor wrapped around his pulmonary artery. They could not operate but he wouldn’t have let them anyway. It’s hard to believe he started fighting cancer when he was just 52 years old.

He went through chemotherapy and radiation like a champ. He lost his hair and eyebrows for a brief period of time but that was it. He continued working and drove several hours a day to work and to chemo.

In his nine-year battle with cancer, he seemed to be in remission while other times he seemed tired and in pain. I am not sure how cancer works, I just know it sucks. My sister and I were living in Virginia at the time. We went home as often as we could, but we both worked full time and had made our lives in Virginia. My sister taught five years and was getting discouraged with it. She decided to go home and finish her nursing degree in 2007. In 2008, she moved back to Virginia because dad was doing really well. As he went up and down so did we. We talked to other doctors, and we got second opinions. I was really hoping that the John Kanzius radio frequency transmitter trial would takeoff and that dad could be a part of it. The researcher passed away in 2009, and I haven’t heard any more about  it. The radio waves seemed promising to say the least. It would use radio waves to destroy the cancer cells without destroying the human body.

In May 2011, the tumor grew bigger and my dad’s lung collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital, and we rushed home from Virginia. He hung on and a few days later he came home in Hospice Care. He was on oxygen full time, and we were not sure how long he would make it. All we knew was that he didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore. He wanted to be home with his family, on his couch.

My sister and I had to get back to Virginia so we could only stay so long. My dad continued to amaze us. In less than a month he was turning the liters of oxygen down. He looked like a normal person again instead of a shell of the man he was. At this time my sister was engaged. She was getting married in September, and I think my dad was determined to be there to walk her down the aisle.

That summer we were in amazement. Hospice was wonderful and got him portable oxygen tanks so he could travel. He went to Florida and to Virginia several times. We had no doubts he would make it to the wedding.

September 10th came and there was my dad all dressed up in his tuxedo. We were so proud of him. He didn’t want to pull his portable tank down the aisle so he had it in the back until it was time to walk my beautiful sister to her groom. Then someone took it to the front pew for him. He walked her down with no oxygen. It was amazing. He was such a strong man. What an inspiration!

dad and sis

As time moved on, the cancer continued to beat him up. He was up and down and my sister and I were home and not home. We knew “the call” would be coming soon we just weren’t sure when.

I came home for spring break that next year. Dad seemed pretty good. We did errands but he got weak and very tired easily. I went home but about a month later we got the call. Mom was very concerned. She wasn’t sure how long he would last. I was able to take some time off so I headed home.  He still seemed okay the first few days I was there. I told my sister to stay home and come up on the weekend. He tricked me for sure. She got there late that Friday. They all laughed and talked in the kitchen. But then about 5am dad woke up and couldn’t breathe. We had the priest come and do the anointing of the sick. The next day he was quit talking and went mute.

His brothers came to see him but he seemed to be a shell of himself. I guess the cancer had spread into his brain at this point. I am not sure. It was so sad, and we didn’t know what to do. We waited and waited. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, into Tuesday. My brother-in-law had to go home to work. The rest of us stayed with him in the living room, sleeping on the floor, praying, waiting for him to be released from the pain.

Then it happened at about 11:45pm on May 22 he took his last breath. The Hospice team did not arrive until after midnight so his official day of death is May 23. My mom, my sister and I held his hands and told him we would be okay. He finally let go. He was out of pain. I didn’t want him to go but it was heartbreaking seeing him him in so much pain.

all 4 of us

My sister was pregnant at the time, and I know my dad wanted nothing more than to be a grandpa. Although he didn’t get to see my niece here on Earth I know he watches down on her from Heaven. I know he is so proud of his two grandchildren. I am sure he sees himself in both of them. They got his sense of adventure, his determination, his hard work ethic, and his sweet smile.

If you have ever been in the same room with someone when they pass onto the next life, you know what it is like. Even though it’s been 11 years, I can still picture the exact moments we shared as a family for those final days. I am grateful that all four of us could be together. It must have been how my father wanted to go.

It still stings every May even after 11 years. If I let myself think about it I could cry on and on. I could be angry and upset that his life was taken at the young age of 60. I could be upset that he didn’t get to enjoy retirement or be the most amazing grandpa. I could be bitter that he didn’t get to walk me down the aisle to My Prince. And honestly some days I am all of that, but I know I need to be grateful. I need to be thankful for the 36 years I had with him. I need to be conscious of how I live my life, and I need to not take life for granted. Life is short, my friends. Don’t wait for something to happen. Make it happen. Be you. Be inspired. Be strong. Be adventurous!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy