This quote is so true. I learned in my educational leadership classes that you will never be able to make everyone happy. Someone out there will ALWAYS criticize you for your actions. Stay true to your heart and don’t let what others say bother you one bit!
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right―for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
―Eleanor Roosevelt
Photo by Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash
What are you made of? What circumstances do you face and what are your reactions? Many people can face the same things but have very different reactions and outcomes to those circumstances. Don’t be afraid of boiling water. Be who you are meant to be no matter what you face.
“The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s what you’re made of. Not the circumstances.”
—Unknown
Photo by René Porter on Unsplash
There is so much to learn every single day. Be smart and take the opportunity to learn something new from those around you. What can you learn? What does someone else do that can make your life easier? Why pretend you have all the answers? Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride and learn from those around you.
“Smart people learn from everything and everyone, average people from their experiences, stupid people already have all the answers.” —Socrates
Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash
I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day this past weekend. It was a time to remember and honor your mother as well as be honored yourself and celebrate all the different types of mothers in your life. I hope you had some time to reflect and celebrate those that mean so much to you. But even if your Mother’s Day didn’t end up being picture-perfect like in the movies, I hope you found a ray of sunshine in your weekend.
This past weekend I was alone. As you know, I am a Pilot’s Wife, and my hubby is on a very LONG trip. I spent much of my time binge-watching the show “Firefly Lane” on Netflix. It’s based on a book by Kristin Hannah. If you’ve read the book then you know the plot and the outcome. If you haven’t watched the series, I highly recommend it. I thought it was fantastic. I cried my eyes out and was pretty emotional for a few days, but I thought it was really well done.
I don’t want to spoil it for you, but I am going to if you keep reading. The book is about two best friends who go through 30 years of friendship together. They go through all of the ups and downs of middle school, high school, college, first jobs, boyfriends, break-ups, marriages, divorces, kids, work, etc. They go through it all yet their friendship remains the rock they both need until the end when one passes away.
This movie brought up so many thoughts in my head. It showed the two girls’ relationship with their mothers. It made me think about mine. It made me think how you see these relationships on television but it’s just not the same in real life. My sister and I were always close to my mom but we were also teenage girls. Seeing this show made me realize how difficult mother-daughter relationships are. There is so much emotion and expectation on both sides. We say things we don’t mean. We don’t understand each other. We are too much alike but we can’t see it, and we battle each other instead of truly trying to understand each other.
I couldn’t help but think about all of my girlfriends, and how lucky I am to have such special memories with each and every one of them. But it especially made me think of my best friend. She has been there with me through thick and thin since I was in seventh grade. Even though we haven’t lived in the same town since 1994 we have managed to stay close. We may not get there for all of the big things but we are there for each other. She gets me and I feel like she may know me better than I know myself. Last fall, I was blessed to be in the same city as her for a month. It was a month of reminiscing about old times and creating new memories. The month was absolutely amazing. I felt like we should have been in the movies because we danced and sang just like the Firefly Lane girls (but to Taylor Swift instead of Abba).
In the series, one of the friends gets an aggressive cancer. It hit too close to home and of course, made me think of my sister. I know it’s a show but it made me wonder what I could have done differently in real life. What could I have said differently? Could I have squeezed her more times more often? Could I have moved in with her or at least moved back to the same city? I wondered why I didn’t write her a letter or take her on a trip. It made me feel like I wasn’t there, and it crushed me. It made me want to go back in time and spend the night at her house. It made me want to go for a walk with her and sit on the back deck and take it all in. Why can’t we do that??
Therefore, the movie wasn’t really great for my emotional well-being, especially with my husband being gone. But I need to remember that it was just that, a movie and a book. The lines are already made up. Everyone knows what to say in difficult times. Everyone knows what to do and it all works out in the end because that’s how movies and books are made.
So I am sad and I miss her and I wish she was here to celebrate Mother’s Day and to help me support our mother. But she’s not and all I can do is cry when I need to cry. All I can do is look at her pictures and tell her I love her. All I can do is remember that through my session with the Medium, she has no regrets, and she is happy in the spiritual world. And she will be there waiting when I get there. Then we will dance and laugh and all the memories will come flying back to me. And I will know exactly what to say just like in the movies.
Until then little sis, please send Signs from Heaven, I could use a few right now. Please know that I love you and will do my best to be the best Aunt Stacy to your little ones that I can be.
The way you feel around people means a lot. What is the energy like? Do you feel motivated? Comfortable? Positive? Negative? Deflated? Uncomfortable? Angry? Make sure you pay attention to how you feel. Your energy never lies.
Pay attention to the way you feel around people. Energy never lies.
~ Joker Theory
Photo by Eléonore Kemmel on Unsplash
I just enjoyed my second trip to Hawaii! The first time I spent two days in Maui-one with friends and one with my hubby- and three days in Honolulu with my Prince. This time My Rock and I spent three days in Maui and two in Honolulu.
On our first trip together we did many touristy activities. He took me to Pearl Harbor and a Luau. We went to Waikiki Beach and the Royal Hawaiin Hotel. We hiked 13 Crossings as well as another trail. We saw sea turtles, beautiful beaches, and amazing sunsets.
Jeff is getting more senior in his job so he is able to hold some amazing trips. The Hawaii trips are some of the best. They stay oceanside at a great hotel called the Andaz in Maui. Although it’s a long day of flying for me for just a few days, it’s totally worth it!
This is only the fourth time I’ve been able to meet him on a layover in the six years we have been together. Many times the layovers are too short or too far away. Even though we had to cancel some plans which I feel terrible about, we decided to have a mini belated Birthday adventure together in Hawaii. I flew on Delta from Fort Myers to Atlanta to Los Angeles to Kahului. I arrived in Maui around 9 pm. I was exhausted after a long travel day but was able to check in and get some sleep.
We woke up the next day and decided to take a walk along the beach. It’s so beautiful there. We had a little bite to eat and decided to make Friday a day of rest and lounging by the pool. That afternoon we went to Maui Brewing Company for a few beers. What a great brewery that is! I highly recommend it. We came home early and went to bed.
The next day we worked out and decided to borrow a truck from our friends who live in Hawaii. We started driving on the Road to Hana. I was nervous at first but we didn’t go all the way to Hana and although the road was windy and single lane at some points, it was fine. We stopped a few times and hiked. We did the Waikamoi Ridge Trail, Twin Falls, and one other in Ko’olau-West Makaiwa. The bamboo in the forests was awesome and the waterfalls are beautiful. What a wonderful place.
On our way back we stopped at Mama’s Fish House. Jeff’s aunt recommended it, and we read that it can take 6 months to get a reservation. Someone told us to ask to sit at the bar. We pulled in and even though the sign said “Bar Full”, the valet said there are some spaces, come on in. We were so excited. The restaurant is right on the water. It has amazing woodwork throughout and is welcoming and quaint. The food was absolutely delicious. I had Kanpachi and Jeff had toothfish. Sooooo good!
Then we stopped in a little town called Paia. Ululani’s was another recommended spot for Hawaiian shave ice. It was good but not sure shave ice is my thing. I think I like soft-serve custard like Hank’s Frozen Custard in Northwest Pennsylvania much better. We came back to the hotel and had planned to sit out by the pool but we were so exhausted we fell asleep right away.
Sunday we had a lazy morning of coffee on our patio. We did a CrossFit workout full of pull-ups, push-ups, and squats. Then we went for a walk into Kihei and had Thai food for breakfast. Then we walked back. We headed for the pool and had some delicious Polomas. We then went out for another delicious dinner at Monkeypod Kitchen. It was another early night because my love had to get up for work early that next morning.
I also was getting up early and getting on a Southwest flight from Maui to Honolulu. The flight was quick and easy. Jeff ended up getting delayed and didn’t make it to Honolulu until the early afternoon. The great thing was that two ski club friends were also on a layover so I had some people to hang out with. I did a quick workout and met up with them at the Cream Pot. We had a great breakfast and could bring our own champagne for mimosas. We then walked around a bit and went to the Harbor Pub. Eventually, we made it back to the hotel and met up with my hubby.
We went back to Waikiki Beach and enjoyed the warm weather. After a few hours, we headed back to the hotel so we could get ready and be on time for the amazing happy hour upstairs on the 36th floor of Ala Moana Hotel. There was already a line when we got back but we could go from our rooms and that we did. Our friends got a table, and we enjoyed some great steaks and meals.
Our friends had to go to bed early but Jeff and I managed to get two seats at the piano. We chatted with the piano player and listened to some great music. It was the perfect ending to our trip. Jeff had to leave the next morning but we had some Starbucks together. I enjoyed a few more hours by the pool, had a quick cold shower, and walked around the Ala Moana Center for some last-minute shopping.
All in all, my two trips to Hawaii have been pretty amazing. Even though we live in Florida and it’s like going from one paradise to another, it’s a different kind of paradise. The water is a beautiful blue, the scenery is breathtaking, and the food is delicious.
As the years go on we realize we can’t go back. We’ve made choices. We now have to live with those choices. We may not be able to change the outcome of the choice we made but we can choose to make the next choice one we won’t regret.
“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.”
—Bonnie Prudden
Photo by Dmitry Mashkin on Unsplash
I am blessed with an array of wonderful girlfriends in my life. Many of them I have known since elementary school. We keep in touch regularly and see each other often. Even though our lives took very different paths after high school graduation, we managed to keep in touch over the years. After I moved back home to take care of Gram, my friendship with them have become stronger. Yes, there are periods of time when we talk or text every day, but then there are weeks and even months when we don’t. Yet we pick right up where we left off every time. Over the past seven years, we have made every effort to spend time together over the summer and now we are planning trips with and without our husbands. Our girls’ weekends are some of the best!
When I went to college, I found another group of amazing women. There were about 14 of us who connected right away during our freshmen year. There are about six to eight of us that still keep in touch and try to see each other as often as possible. I have been able to connect with four of them on a regular basis who are still around my hometown and one who I reconnected with just last summer! I am hoping one of these days we can take the trip that we always talked about and more of us can get together. I know it will instantly be like the good ole days of college when we do.
When I moved back home to take care of Gram and started CrossFit, I met more amazing women at the gym. Most of these women are badasses. They lift heavy but have the kindest hearts. Although this girlfriend group is newer, I feel very close to all of them but especially about six to eight of them. We see each other every summer and many of them come to visit us in Florida. Some of us have children and some do not but we all manage to make time for each other.
I also have many friends whom I met in Virginia. Many I still get to see when I go to visit my family while others have moved away, and I get to connect with them in other states. These women were with me through thick and thin during the 16 years I was in RVA. Even though I don’t always get to see these girlfriends when I am in town, they know they are always on my mind and will always be in my heart.
I also have been very lucky to meet amazing women through my husband and his friends. I get to see these girls a few times a year on our ski trips. We ski, we dance, we laugh, we vent on the ski lift, and share our stories and our doubts. We are from all over the United States yet we share many things in common. So many of us in this group share our self-doubt of just learning how to ski and not being comfortable on the mountain. Many of us share our desire to travel and see other ski resorts and other places in the world. Many of us share our stories of being involved in the airline industry. Even though I met these women in my forties, I feel we have a bond and have connected in a way that will last a very long time even when our ski trips are over.
I have also been blessed in meeting women through my marriage. Even though I lost my sister almost five years ago, I have gained three sisters and two cousins (who I consider sisters:)) on Jeff’s side of the family. Although we don’t live in the same states and don’t always get together for holidays we get together as often as possible, usually when Jeff and I are traveling up and down the east coast. When we do get together, we laugh until all hours of the night. I know that I can call any of them if something is on my mind, and they will offer their best advice. It’s also nice to vent to these girlfriends about my Prince because they know his quirks sometimes better than I do.
These groups of girlfriends are just the tip of the iceberg. Somehow Jeff and I have wonderful friend groups and through those groups, I have been blessed to develop amazing friendships with the ladies. These few groups are just portions of the amazing girlfriends I have met over the years. Through my closest friends, I have met their girlfriends and through them other girlfriends. And even if you are not in these pictures you are in my heart.
I tell you these things because these women are like family to me, especially my best friend who has been with me through it all. These girlfriends have been there for me when my dad died, when my sister passed, and when sweet gram left us. They helped take care of Gram so that I could have time off. They send me messages of encouragement when they know I might be having a hard day. They lift me up when I am down.
These women are my heart and soul. They always say you can pick your friends although you can’t pick your family. I am beyond blessed with having picked these women in my life and them choosing me back. I hope that if you don’t have supportive family members or if you have lost your support system, you have friends who you consider family. I hope you have amazing girlfriends in your life you can rely on. And I hope you know it’s never too late to develop a meaningful bond with a great friend.
Here on Earth, we learn about all different kinds of love. Brotherly love, maternal love, romantic love, and love for pets and nature. If you let your heart burst with love, the ride may be more meaningful.
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
—Franklin P. Jones
Photo by Alistair MacRobert on Unsplash
This Easter season I hope you spend time with your family and friends. I hope you find love and peace all around you. I hope you realize Easter is the time of new beginnings and whatever has been done in the past is done. Time to break out of that shell and spring ahead in the direction you want your life to go.
“The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we’ve surrounded ourselves with.”
– Siobhan Shaw
HAPPY EASTER!
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash