Tag

blessed

Browsing
little boy in shock
In Family

People

No Comments

Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.

For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.

two little girls telling secrets

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.

Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.

It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.

So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?

saying with a lady on the beach

What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.

It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.

I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.

It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!

Sign says do what you love

Photo by Millo Lin on Unsplash

For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.

Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

 

by
Keep Reading
us
In Pilot's Wife

Relationships

No Comments

I have written a few posts about my husband, My Prince, My Rock, and My Valentine. As you know relationships, especially marriages are not perfect. They take work and communication, and sometimes therapy. But relationships are what make the world go round. They are what makes this life worth living. They are how we learn about love, compromise, and decision-making. Relationships are how we grow and learn throughout our lives. Even though our marriage is not perfect, Jeff and I are dedicated to making it the most adventurous, beautiful ride we can. We believe we need to grow and learn together. We need to support each other on whatever adventures come our way!

us having fun

This Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to tell someone you love how much they mean to you. Whether it’s a spouse, a significant other, a best friend, or just someone who once meant something to you. Take a few moments to send them a message about how much you care.

Valentine’s Day can be lonely for many people. It can make people who are single feel sad because they are alone and don’t have a Valentine. It can make couples feel pressure to go to dinner or spend too much money on roses that are overpriced. It can make people in relationships disappointed if their loved one doesn’t remember the holiday. Whatever this Day means to you, try to remember you don’t need to be sad, lonely, or disappointed. Love is all around you. And the first person you should love is yourself.

Maybe today you take some time to pamper yourself. Maybe you take a nice, hot bubble bath. Maybe you get dressed up and treat yourself to a nice dinner out. Maybe you go to your garden and pick yourself a bouquet of flowers. Maybe you draw or paint a picture. Whatever your passion, do something for yourself.

If you are in a relationship, spend some quality time with your loved one. Turn off the TV. Turn off the phone. Spend some time focusing on each other with no distractions. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or do anything fancy. Maybe play cards or play a game. Maybe read to each other or take a walk in a park. Whatever you do make time for one another.

Maybe today you get together with your friends. Maybe you go see a movie or watch a movie on Netlflix. Maybe you and a friend go for a walk or make dinner together. Maybe you aren’t in the same town so take a moment to FaceTime each other or talk on the phone.

Today, I will be at the top of a mountain in Steamboat Springs with my love and my ski friends. We will enjoy the beauty of this world from high on the hilltop. Even though it will be cold and snowy, we will appreciate the view, and we will thank God that we are physically able to ski down a mountain.

us on the moutain

Whatever you decide to do today, let your heart be filled with love. Love yourself, love your partner, and love this life. We are only here for a little while so enjoy yourself!

Happy Valentine’s Day my friends!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

by
Keep Reading
grandfather and his players
In Family

My Grandfather

No Comments

This past Saturday marked seven years since my grandfather took his last breath. My mom, gram, and I were there by his side. He had been on the decline for a while but it really showed the last month of his life and that last week.  He couldn’t eat or drink. He quit talking, and anyone who knows him knows that he was a talker! We asked the priest from our hometown to come to deliver the anointing of the sick per our Catholic traditions. Even though she couldn’t be there in person, my sister was able to participate by phone. It seemed the end was near.

I couldn’t believe we were going to lose him. He had just turned 90 and seemed so full of life. He loved spending Christmas with all of us in Virginia, and he loved going to Fort Myers afterward. Many of my favorite memories with them are driving them to and from Florida. Gram would be in the passenger seat with the Atlas on her lap and my grandfather in the backseat snoring.

stacy, gram, gramps and sister

He loved going to the condo in Fort Myers. He loved sitting out on the lanai eating breakfast and reading his newspaper. Their best friends lived in the condo across the street. Both couples were getting older and traveling was getting harder. My grandfather also loved calling people on his cell phone. He was always so loud. He would usually start every conversation with some kind of joke and then just start laughing hysterically. He loved to laugh. He also loved to eat which is why he had congestive heart failure and diabetes which ultimately led to his end.

I came home from Thailand on December 18, 2015. I wanted to see my newborn nephew as well as spend time with my grandparents that Christmas. We had a great few weeks together, making pierogies and getting ready for Christmas. The day after Christmas I was supposed to drive my grandparents to Fort Myers for the winter. But Christmas evening my grandfather didn’t look well, and my sister suggested he go to the emergency room. This was not good. I was supposed to leave on New Year’s Eve to head back to my teaching position. Those first few days I was so torn and it didn’t appear that Gramps was getting out of the hospital any time soon. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but after some discussion, I decided I had done enough traveling for the time being and would stay home and see where the journey led.

After a month in the hospital, visits from family, and time in rehab, Gram and I took my grandfather home to Pennsylvania in Hospice care. He wanted more than anything to go to Fort Myers, but I just couldn’t fathom driving with him for 16 hours by myself. He couldn’t even hold himself up let alone walk into rest areas or restaurants. How could I get him there and then get him into the condo? Against his wishes, we decided to take him seven hours home to PA. My cousin had to help me get him into the house. Boy, was that a fiasco! Thanks, cuz! But we got him in. Hospice came that afternoon, and they told us he would be ok. But a few days later, it seemed the end was inevitable.

grandfather and family

I can’t believe it’s been seven years. How has so much time passed already? My grandfather was right there by my side for the first 40 years of my life. I am beyond blessed that during my childhood he and Gram lived two blocks from us. My grandfather would take my sister and me everywhere. My parents both worked as did Gramps but he was the one who had the flexibility in his schedule to pick us up from school. Once he scooped us, he would take us up to the gym, and we would mess around in the weight room or watch as his players practiced as he was the basketball coach at Alliance College. When it was nice out we would go on the field and throw the softball around. He was all about sports, and he didn’t care that we were girls. He was going to turn us into the best athletes possible.

He wasn’t always the gentle teddy bear, especially when it came to athletics. He would push us and demand we do better. He would even swear under his breath when we got it wrong or messed around. And as much pressure, as you may think that put on us, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. He was the guy you didn’t want to disappoint. He was the guy you wanted to prove yourself to. He was the guy who would eventually tell you how proud he was of you.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t think about my grandfather a lot. I am not sure why. Maybe because I feel guilty for not taking him to Fort Myers. Maybe because I remember so many good times with him that it hurts to think about them. Maybe because I started caregiving for Sweet Gram right away and need to be strong for her. I don’t know. Or maybe he is just always right there that I don’t have to consciously think about him.

But always, I will cherish the memories of you, Gramps. I will look for all the signs from heaven that you are here and around me every day. I will celebrate the wonderful life you lived, and I will thank God this life had you for 90 wonderful years. Miss you much!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

by
Keep Reading
camp aunt stacy
In Family

Camp Aunt Stacy

No Comments

I write a lot about my sister’s children because I feel so close to them and they are such an important part of my life. Sometimes I forget that we have five more nieces and nephews on my husband’s side of the family. Three of them are beginning adulthood and making lives for themselves, as are our sons. They are starting their careers and continuing their education. Some have significant others in their lives and some don’t. They are talented young people, and although they don’t call me Aunt Stacy, I am proud to be just that.

camp aunt stacy older nieces and nephews

We also have two younger nieces. They are the most beautiful little girls inside and out. They are talented, smart, funny, and full of curiosity. We love spending time with them just as much as we love spending time with my sister’s children. I love hearing them call me Aunt Stacy, and I love watching their eyes light up when they tell a joke, and we laugh out loud. I also love braiding their hair and getting their gifts of love such as drawings and notes.

camp aunt stacy

These two are seven and nine. They love spending time with their grandparents in the summer, and they do a week-long stay called “Camp Mo Mo”. During this “camp”, they spend time at the beach, do art projects, go to the pier, and eat too much ice cream (which was one of my favorite things to do with Sweet Gram!). Their parents get a little break and the girls get to spend some valuable time with their grandparents. I am thinking I need to start a “Camp Aunt Stacy.”

Because I never had children of my own, I get attached to these little people. I love their energy and their amazing spirit. I love how all of my younger nieces and nephews laugh with such innocence. They have no cares or worries. They are just happy being happy. They don’t need anything material. Just love.

camp aunt stacy

Over the summer, we spent some time with our nieces at the beach. We walked through a cute little beach town and did some shopping. Their mom teaches them how to stay healthy by eating well. We showed them how to stay active by participating in a little workout on their grandparents’ deck. They were full of energy and loved doing burpees (I mean what child wouldn’t lol). They called me Aunt Stacy the whole time. They rode on my shoulders as well as my husband’s. They couldn’t get enough of us, and we couldn’t get enough of them.

I assume my sister-in-law and my brother-in-law as well as their significant others would really enjoy some time off from parenting and responsibility. I hope I can get these four little people together this year and host a “Camp Aunt Stacy” at our home in Florida. We will do crafts, play card games like “kings on the corner”, swim in the pool, and hopefully get Uncle Jeff to take us out on the boat.

Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy can become a yearly tradition. Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy will be a traveling camp of different experiences for these little people in different places. Maybe Camp Aunt Stacy will be as memorable for them as I know it will be for me.  So, keep your fingers crossed, and let’s get Camp Aunt Stacy started!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

by
Keep Reading
lady on golf cart
In Family

Women and Golf

No Comments

Even though I grew up around the game of golf, I was never much interested in playing the sport. My whole family golfed including the women. I felt like the day was too long, it was too hard, and there wasn’t enough action for me. My grandfather ran a golf tournament all of my life. I got involved in selling candy bars at the tournament when I was in second grade. Then my sister and I became the beer girls and eventually, I ran the thing when he passed away.

Last month, I had a wonderful experience. I went to a networking group in Florida called #LEGS (Ladies Executive Golf Society). It’s all about women meeting women and learning a new skill, golf! My friend, Karen, introduced me to this group, and I felt like I was exactly in the right place at the right time. Tonight, we meet again, and we are learning how to putt before we socialize and learn more about each other. I can’t wait! The last time I went I left feeling excited and hopeful. I hope this organization continues to grow in the Fort Myers area. And I hope I can attend many more of these events!

#LEGS was started for women by women. Its vision is to empower women to try new things, build relationships, foster growth in communities, and have fun! If you think about it, many men develop business relationships and networking connections on the golf course whether they are any good at the sport or not. As women, we don’t always take that step to try something new, especially something as challenging and overwhelming as golf. #LEGS is trying to change that by giving us the confidence to step on the golf course and support other women in the community. Let’s get more women out on the golf course!

Whether you are into golf and whether you work or not, I highly suggest coming to at least one event. The events are posted on the website and occur once a month. Golf is just a tiny piece of what the group is all about and part of the event registration fee goes to a local charity. The one in Fort Myers is called Valerie’s House which is a nonprofit dedicated to helping children on their journey of grief after losing a parent or sibling.

There are #LEGS chapters in six cities in Florida, but the founder is always looking to expand. If you are willing to start a chapter in your area contact Jillian Foss at ladiesexecutivegolfsociety@gmail.com. If you are in the Fort Myers area, please sign up and take a chance at this event. Come meet other women and learn a new skill. There is still time to sign up for tonight’s event at Eastwood Country Club. See you there!

Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

by
Keep Reading
summer shining on winter trees
In Weekly Wednesday Words

Marvel

No Comments

Most people love summer more than winter but I truly believe every season has such beauty. The summer sun is amazing and that’s why my Rock and I are pretty much Sunbirds. We chase the sun all year. But we also find time to marvel at the beauty of the mountains, the lakes, and the snow when we go skiing.

“He who marvels at the beauty of the world in summer will find equal cause for wonder and admiration in winter.”

— John Burroughs

Photo by Hert Niks on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

by
Keep Reading
letter with a pen
In Family

Grief and a Letter

No Comments

Last year I wrote a post called “Letter from Above.” A friend told me I should republish it every year around the holidays so I thought I would remind you to check it out. Click on the link above and it will take you back to my letter. I hope it gives you a sense of peace as we embark on this holiday season. Even though the holidays are a beautiful time of year, they also can be very painful for some people who have suffered severe loss. I hope that you have the support you need to get through this season with a smile on your beautiful face and a light of hope in your heart.

As I was wasting time on Facebook the other day, I saw this letter that someone else shared. I also kept the links that will take you to their pages. I thought both of these women were very inspirational. I hope you take some time to scroll through their pages. Just reading a few of their posts made me feel better about myself, my journey, and the losses I have suffered. I hope they do the same for you.

The Soul Journey with Sarah Moussa

A love letter from those who have passed on…
Take the love you have for me
And radiate it outwards
Allowing it to touch and impact others
Take the memory you have of me
And use it as a source of inspiration
To live fully, meaningfully and intentionally
Take the image you have of me in your mind
And allow it to fuel you
To take action
Seize the day
And be reminded of what is most important in life
Take the care you have for me
And let it remind you
To care for yourself fully
And shower yourself with your own love
And take the pain and grief you feel
Following my loss
And alchemize it into
Love, compassion and beauty
Build a castle
From the wreckage of my passing
And allow it to unlock your greatness and potential
And empower you to become more than you ever thought you were capable of being
And know that I can never truly leave you
And will always remain beside you
Watching over you in spirit
And that the love I have for you lives on
Through the connections you form
The kindness and compassion you share
And the future relationships and friendships you cultivate.
And until we are one day reunited
I will remain with you
Through the storms and chaos of life
And am always beside you
Walking with you, laughing with you, crying with you and smiling with you
And I am proud of you for being strong
I am proud of you for being brave
And I am proud of you for being you.
Words by Tahlia Hunter

I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a very Happy, Happy New Year!

Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy
by
Keep Reading