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Take the Leap

August 25, 2020 No Comments

As you read in “How Did I Get Here?” I went to Thailand in 2015 to teach English to Thai students. I remember having that feeling that I just needed to take the leap and get out of my mundane routine. I figured since I was going halfway around the world I might as well leave a month early and visit a few European countries along the way. So I made plans, reserved flights, got documents together, resigned from my job, and put my house up for rent. I was ready…or so I thought. But when my mom, sister, and niece took me to the Washington, D.C. airport, I was so scared, had a few moments of hesitation, and had a fleeting thought of not even going at all.

My sister was seven months pregnant, my grandparents were elderly, and my mom didn’t want me to go. I didn’t want to miss my grandpa’s 90th birthday which was coming up, and I didn’t want to miss the birth of my nephew. But I also knew no matter when I went (because I was determined to go), I would miss something. So, in the end, I cried, hugged them super tightly, took the leap and got on the plane.

I was on my way. I was nervous, but I was also confident because I knew I wasn’t totally on my own. I was meeting up with new friends, old friends, and friends I hadn’t seen in over 10 years. I love that friendships span the distance of years and oceans and pick up right where they left off.

I flew from D.C. to Zurich, Switzerland with a brief stop in Iceland. I landed in Zurich and somehow found my way from the airport to the hotel where I was meeting my friend Samm. My friends, Samm and Nate, were a couple I knew from Richmond, VA. They had been living in Switzerland for a couple of years. Nate worked in Lausanne, and Samm worked in Zurich. Because I was meeting up with them in a few weeks, she did me a huge favor and took my big suitcase with her to Lausanne so I was left with just my backpack for the next three weeks. We had a nice dinner, some wine and went to bed early. The next day she took me to the train station and helped me catch the correct train to Munich.

I loved the train ride and felt so strong. I was actually doing it! I had taken the leap and was in Europe all by myself! It was beautiful, exciting, and overwhelming. I was meeting up with Katherine in Munich for Oktoberfest. Katherine was the one from Richmond who introduced me to Greenheart Travel and inspired me to take the leap to teach in Thailand.

Although many people think Oktoberfest is in October, it actually starts in mid-September and ends the beginning of October. Neither one of us had been so we were super excited to go. Oktoberfest was completely different than I imagined it. I don’t know what I thought it would be, but it was like a big carnival with tons of beer tents and rides. We walked around, tasted different beer and food, and sampled some great desserts!

The next day, we did a walking tour through Munich. The churches were breath-taking and the cathedrals were amazing. We explored the English gardens, went up in the tower to see the city from above, saw some breathtaking views, watched river surfing, and explored Residenz Palace. Check out more pictures of our German adventure here.

We found the walking tour through an app called Triposo. If you are traveling to another country I highly suggest this app. It has wonderful travel tips, suggestions for sites to see as well as offline maps that help you to navigate the city without cell service. Also, if you are interested, The Blond Abroad has a great post about Oktoberfest as well as other travel destinations!

We had a great time! Germany was a fabulous country. The bus system was easy to use and people were there to celebrate and have fun. At the end of the third day, Katherine and I went our separate ways. She found her way to the train station, and I found my way to the airport. Next stop, Helsinki, Finland. Only four days in, and I was so thankful I had taken the leap of faith.

In Adventures with Gram

How Many Dogs Do You Have?

August 18, 2020 3 Comments

On one of our summer road trips, we stopped at my sister-in-law’s house in West Virginia. They have four dogs, three of which probably weigh more than Gram. Although Gram loves dogs, she gets a little anxious around them, especially if they jump, bark, or lick. When we walked up to the house, the dogs came running 🙂 Wide-eyed Gram said, “I don’t need your kisses. No no no.” Then she asked my sister-in-law, “how many dogs do you have?” She seemed to be in disbelief at the number of dogs around her. Gram doesn’t usually say too much, but when she does talk, she is pretty funny and delightful. Usually…

For the next three hours, all we heard over and over was, “How many dogs do you have?” We would say four. Then, she would count them. Then, five minutes later she would ask again, “How many dogs do you have?” She would count them again. It was funny but also sad and slightly frustrating that she just couldn’t remember how many dogs were around. Then every third time, she would say, “They have four dogs and you won’t even let me have one” with a sad look on her face. I see how parents get roped into buying things and getting pets. I mean, how can you say no to such a sweet face?

The next morning as she was sitting eating her egg and toast, she counted three dogs and she said, “Hmm, one is missing.” We were the ones now in disbelief that she finally knew how many dogs they had!

We have learned to accept the fact that her dementia brain isn’t going to remember the short term. She’s going to ask the same questions again and again and again. Yes, we could and sometimes do get very frustrated, and we could make her feel bad by saying, “Can’t you remember, you just asked that question.” But we try to roll our eyes, laugh, and just answer the question again hoping it will sink in eventually. Sometimes, we try to make her laugh as well by giving her some off the wall answer to her repetitive question. Then, she is the one rolling her eyes at us.

I have tried to rely on the strategies I used as a special education teacher for being a good caregiver. Gram has definitely tried my patience and those around us. I mean how many times can you answer the question “How many dogs do you have?” But she’s so cute 🙂 and I have also learned I need to find and celebrate what she can do. It really doesn’t do any good to dwell on what she can’t do anymore.

If you are a caregiver or know someone with Dementia or Alzheimer’s, Teepa Snow is a fabulous resource. She is a psychologist, and she has several helpful videos about being a good caretaker. She explains how to handle stressful situations, how to understand the person with dementia, and how to diffuse aggressive situations.

I am just thankful we have amazing family and friends who understand her and just keep answering the question “how many dogs do you have?”

In Family

Why I Launched on August 8

August 11, 2020 No Comments

On August 8^th, when I was three years old, I got the gift of a little sister. I am sure I only picked on her a few times throughout our childhood. Needless to say, although we were a few years apart, we got along very well and became best friends. She went with me wherever I went. Maybe I was made to take her, but I enjoyed every minute with her.

We grew up in a town where many of the kids in my grade had younger siblings in her grade. We grew up in a town where most of the parents were in the same social class and made about the same amount of money. We grew up in a town where there wasn’t a lot of diversity, but no one was cultural bias either. We grew up in a town where kindergarten students rode the bus with seniors in high school and it wasn’t a big deal because everyone had an older cousin to keep an eye on them. We grew up in a town where we walked home safely from school. We grew up in a town where we played outside until dark. We grew up in a town where most parents knew each other and a lot of them even went to school together.

As you read in “How Did I Get Here“, my sister and I grew up close to our grandparents. We took family trips together. We took Catholic school classes together. She was my best friend. I went off to college and even though I was only 30 minutes away, I think she felt left behind.

After college, I moved away. After a few months in California, I ended up in Virginia. I begged her to follow me after she graduated, and three years later, she did. I told her you can always go back but if you don’t take the plunge and move away after college, you may never go.

We played sports together through River City Sports and Social Club and Richmond Volleyball Club. She eventually got a job teaching in the same county where I was working. She coached volleyball, I coached basketball, and we coached JV softball together. She was an inspiration to the girls, and we both had a “work hard, be respectful, make good grades” coaching style. We enjoyed the girls, and I think they enjoyed us.

Our dad was fighting lung cancer at the time and after five years of teaching, she decided she wanted to go back to our hometown in Northwestern Pennsylvania to get her nursing degree. She moved back home and helped with Dad for almost two years. After she finished her nursing degree, she decided to come back to Virginia.

She got a job at one of the local hospitals. It was there where she met her husband, who was a frequent visitor because his mother was there battling Crohn’s Disease. After three years of dating, they got married. My dad made it to her wedding day and had enough strength to walk her down the aisle without his cumbersome oxygen tank. In May 2012, he took his last breath. My mom, sister, and I were there to hold his hand as he rose into the afterlife. Although he didn’t get to see his first grandchild, he knew my sister was pregnant. A few months later, she gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl. Three years later, my nephew was born.

In December 2016, we got the most horrifying news. My sister had a cyst. When they removed it, they found out it was malignant. We couldn’t believe it and didn’t want to go through another battle with cancer.

I was so sure she would beat it. Our father fought lung cancer for eight years and even lived another year with a collapsed lung. I had no doubt she would have at least nine more years here on Earth.

But I was wrong. In May 2018, we (my mom, brother-in-law, and myself) surrounded her as she took her last breath at the young age of 38. I am not sure why God took her. It makes me so sad, mad, and upset. I don’t understand his plan. Her body was ravaged by a cancer that could never be pinpointed. It spread like wildfire. It was devastating. I am thankful she is no longer suffering, but I miss my best friend every day. I miss her advice. I miss her kind heart. I miss her smile. I miss her for the children, her husband, and our mother.

I launched on August 8th, my sister’s birthday, in her honor and memory. She will forever live in my heart, giving me strength and inspiring me every time I look at her pictures and those two little children of hers.

In Family

How Did I Get Here?

August 8, 2020 No Comments

So who am I? How did I get here? And why am I writing a blog?

WHO AM I?

I am from a tiny town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. I went to a small college and graduated with an education degree. Then, I moved to California to teach first grade. Six months later, I moved to Richmond, Virginia. There, I taught special education for eight years, earned my Master’s degree, and became a special education coordinator for another eight years.

Something happened in 2015, and I just wanted out. I needed a change of pace. A friend recommended the Greenheart Travel program, and I decided to go to Thailand to teach English as a second language. I was super excited. I had a friend to travel with and tons of opportunities to meet others.

After months of debate and discussion, I left a 16-year career in education where I was making $70,000 a year and had 14 weeks of sick time built up. I wasn’t sure how things would turn out, and many people thought I was making the wrong decision, but I decided to take a leap of faith and jump. Looking back now, I can’t be more thankful that I did.

In the fall of 2015, I left for what would end up being an amazing adventure. Because I am a Travel Junkie, I contacted friends I had around Europe and visited eight countries along the way (Germany, Switzerland, Finland, Sweden, Italy, The Netherlands, France, and Spain).

Then, my friend Katherine and I headed to Thailand where we would end up spending two months working with children and exploring the Thai culture. I remember when we arrived in Bangkok, we met about 30 people who were also there for training. We had a couple of days in Bangkok where we visited Thai markets, ate some interesting foods, and went to a Thai cooking class. Then, we headed to Hua Hin where we had classroom activities. We learned a bit of the Thai language and that was my first introduction to Sabai Sabai [pron. suh-BYE suh-BYE] which means “no worries, no problem, just relax”. After three weeks of training, Katherine and I were placed at an international school. We were only there for three weeks and then it was Christmas break and we had a month off, so we traveled around Thailand a bit and then I decided to go home to Virginia for Christmas.

HOW DID I GET HERE?

It was Christmas 2015. Our whole family was together including Grandma and Grandpa. We had a great time making pierogies as per our (Polish) Christmas tradition but, I also made mango sticky rice, which was my new favorite dessert from Thailand. We had a wonderful time until Christmas evening when my 90-year-old grandfather ended up in the hospital. He had fluid built up around his lungs and was having trouble breathing. He was in the hospital for several days. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I felt I needed to stay in the United States and be with him and my family. Therefore, I canceled my trip back to Thailand. After a week in the hospital, they sent him to rehab.

About a month later, in February 2016, our family was at a loss. He wasn’t getting better, he seemed to have lost all hope and wasn’t trying. After several discussions about different options, it was decided I would drive my grandparents home to Pennsylvania. We arranged for Hospice care so that I would have some help. Even though physically he had deteriorated, mentally, he had every desire in the world to go to Fort Myers, Florida to their winter condo like they did every year, but Gram won out, and we headed north.

He was a large, stubborn man and he was very upset that we went north instead of south, but we made it. He was very weak and couldn’t even walk to the door. His heart failure won out because we weren’t even home a week and the good Lord called him to heaven. My grandparents were together just two weeks shy of 66 years. What an inspiring marriage!

Since I didn’t have a job and my house in Virginia was rented for the year, I decided to stay and take care of my grandmother. She needed company, and I needed a place to live. I didn’t know if my grandmother would live for two days, two weeks, or two months without my grandfather, but I decided to stay.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS BLOG?

This blog is a collection of stories from September 2015 to the present day. It is meant to make you want to live life to the fullest, laugh often, love with your whole heart, and constantly learn to be better. It is to share the stories of my Adventures with Gram and my family. It is to show you to never give up on your dreams by sharing my travel adventures, my fitness journey, and my journey in finding love. Hopefully, some of my stories will inspire you to take chances that you’re too scared to take right now. Hopefully, it will inspire you to start a fitness journey of your own. It may inspire you to go see your grandparents or parents. Whatever it is, I hope this blog at least warms your heart and makes you smile.

In Adventures with Gram

Life Changes

August 8, 2020 No Comments

When I quit my job in the fall of 2015, I wasn’t sure where life would lead. I just knew I wasn’t happy, and I wanted to see the world. I also wanted to find love, and I wasn’t having any success in Virginia. As you read in the post “How Did I Get Here?“, I left a wonderful career in education to go to Thailand to teach English. I came back. I didn’t have a job and my house was rented.

Those life changes led me back to my hometown. It was winter. It was snowing. It was cold, but I decided to make the best of it. Gram and I made fires in the fireplace, and we didn’t really have anywhere to go so winter wasn’t too bad 🙂

As time went on, I hung out with old friends from high school. Many of their children were in high school so, I went to local sporting events to watch them. Every time I went to a game, it was like a high school reunion! It was great to see everyone and their mini me’s.

Finally, spring arrived and my high school friends talked me into helping coach my old high school softball team. Also, to fill some time because Gram was fairly self-sufficient, I started working at J’s Ice Cream and Hot Dog Shop where I learned to make ice cream cones. It is definitely a lot harder than it looks! I felt comfortable leaving her for half the day because she would get herself up and dressed, read the paper, and make breakfast. I would work and then pick her up for the softball games. She loved seeing me coach and watching the girls play.

Spring was long, cold, and muddy but, we made it. Finally, summertime. Long, warm summer days and cool summer nights came upon us which was great for sleeping with no air conditioning. That summer, I hung out with one of my high school friend’s daughter. I couldn’t believe she was 21. We had the best time. I introduced her to some amazing 80’s music, and she taught me the names of some of the back roads in town that I didn’t know.

That fall, I worked with her at a chiropractor’s office. When we weren’t working, we were out drinking a lot together, and I was drinking a lot on my own. I decided I needed a detox. I set the goal to quit drinking for a month. With the support of family and friends, I made it 34 days without one drink!!

That fall, someone suggested that I try CrossFit Meadville. I was doing workouts at home, but I really missed going to a gym. After the first week, I was hooked! I was sore, tired, and exhausted, but the workouts were awesome and always different. I had a great trainer and the support of other CrossFitters was motivating. I was easy to coach and eager to learn. Bill, the owner of the gym, talked a lot about nutrition and eating right, and I was interested in making those changes. He definitely inspired me to challenge myself.

That year was full of life changes. I went from being a professional educator to becoming a caregiver with minimum wage part-time jobs. I moved from a big city back to my small rural home town. My social life went from hanging out with a variety of friends to hanging out with Gram, but we had some great adventures. We went to Pirates games. We traveled a lot to Virginia to see family. We ate a lot of ice cream. We took a lot of Sunday drives.

She went to bingo every other Monday, which gave me a night free of responsibility. At first, she could get herself ready and would proudly pack her “bingo bag” with her markers and lucky charms. As time went on, she needed a little extra help but, she still was determined to go. Those Mondays off were very important to me as a caregiver, and I cherished the time off. Even though I felt a little lost, I knew I was on the right journey. Then one rainy, chilly night in December 2016 as she was leaving bingo, she fell and broke her hip. And once again, new life changes were upon me.

In Adventures with Gram

In the Bathroom with Gram

August 8, 2020 5 Comments

I have had over four years of Adventures with Gram. When I started taking care of her in February 2016 after my grandfather passed, I didn’t know how long she would last. I also didn’t know that 90% of our conversations would take place in the bathroom! But here I am. Another Friday night …in the bathroom with Gram.

My husband and our friends are outside sitting by the pool enjoying a beautiful night, good friendship, and some adult beverages. And here I am …in the bathroom with Gram. And it’s fine. But then I ask myself “is it?” Is this where I am supposed to be? Is there where I pictured myself being …in the bathroom with Gram? Of course not, but this is where I am and this is my journey. Sabai Sabai

In the bathroom with Gram is where I am more often than I imagined. Sometimes I get down about missing certain things because I am in the bathroom with Gram, but then I try to remind myself it’s kind of like being a mom and having to put the kiddos to bed. You may miss out on what’s going on in your living room, but sometimes you have amazing, special experiences on your own when you are tucking them in tight.

Some of my favorite conversations are in the bathroom with Gram. A lot of times she repeats the same phrases. Most of the time I hear “take me behind the barn and shoot me” or “I look like death warmed over… two times” or “starość nie jest radością” which is Polish and she tells me it means “it’s hell getting old”. The formal translation means “old age is not joy”. She will talk about how she misses my grandpa. She talks about how she’s a burden and to just put her away. She tells me not to let her sit around and eat candy all day. She is really funny sometimes especially when she cracks herself up. She talks about how I am spending too much time with her and how I need to get back out to my husband. I am thankful that she is considerate of me. Of course, it’s not like she is setting any speed records but she tries. So, I spend my time in the bathroom with Gram, enjoying our conversations and hoping my ice doesn’t melt by the time I get back to my drink.

In Travel Junkie

Yes WoMan

August 8, 2020 No Comments

Although I have never seen it, there is a movie called “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey (2008). There have been a few people over the years who have made reference to it saying I was a Yes Woman just like Carl in the movie because I would always say Yes. Anyone who knows me, knows I have a hard time saying no, and I do not like missing out on things. Therefore, I say Yes to almost everything. Because I have said Yes to weddings, birthdays, and family occasions, I have seen beautiful parts of the United States and the world. I must say I have really enjoyed most of the experiences, and I am glad I am a Yes Woman!

I’ve always loved traveling. Being a teacher allowed me to have a lot of time off, but not necessarily a lot of money to do the traveling. So, I chose to give up a lot of “stuff” that way I could say Yes to the next big trip. If traveling is your passion, then you do what you have to do to make it happen.

Because I am a Yes Woman, I have had amazing road trips across the United States and beautiful Mexican, European and Caribbean vacations for which I am so grateful. As you read this blog, you will see many fun Adventures with Gram and some great trips without her.

Being a Yes Woman sometimes can get you in trouble. At times saying Yes can be overwhelming, tiring, and stressful, I am learning that I don’t have to say Yes to everything. I am learning to value my time and to evaluate opportunities before saying Yes. I am learning to say no and to have time to recover and relax. I am getting better at it 🙂 Although it is overwhelming, tiring, and exhausting, saying Yes to becoming Gram’s caregiver has been one of the most inspiring and amazing experiences I have had.

Being a caregiver has thrown a curve ball into my traveling game, but I do what I have to do to continue to make it happen. I am also beyond blessed that I found a Yes Man who loves traveling and loves Gram as much as I do. One of the best things I have said Yes to was to his proposal made to me in Chicago on his 50^th birthday. So far, we have been to six countries and 15 states together. Whatever arrangements need to be made to continue our adventures, we make them. As caregivers, we know in order to be the best caregivers, it is extremely important to take care of ourselves first. We know that getting a break makes all the difference in the world.

Over the past few years, I have learned that life changes on a dime so make the best of every day. The thing is, life is short and we only get one shot. Take the time off and take that trip with your friends or loved ones. Having and making memories is so much better than having “stuff”. So, take a chance and be a Yes WoMan!

featured

Take the Leap

How Many Dogs Do You Have?

Why I Launched on August 8

How Did I Get Here?

So who am I? How did I get here? And why am I writing a blog?

Life Changes

In the Bathroom with Gram

Yes WoMan

Missing Gram

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Letter to Gram

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