feelingblessed Archives - Page 10 of 18 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

My Rock

August 23, 2022 No Comments

I know I have written about my Prince a few times, but these past few months have been extremely hard for us, and Jeff has been my rock. I don’t know what I would do without him. He is always there to listen, to love me, to tell me I am being too sensitive, and to support me when I need to scream. He picks me up when I am down. He squeezes me when all I need is a huge bear hug. I honestly don’t think I could have found a better match for myself. And I thank Sweet Gram every day for breaking her hip (the first time) which led us to Fort Myers so our path would cross with Jeff’s path.

Since March we have been dealing with a few different family situations. Some with his and some with mine. We have had to make some difficult decisions. We have had to make excessive travel plans. We have had to move things more than we have wanted to. And in doing this Jeff has been my rock. It has been a challenge to our relationship because we are dealing with so many outside factors. We know that all we can control is our attitude, our effort, and our actions. We know within all the chaos, we need to make time for ourselves. We need to put each other first (which at times we both forget) and work on solving problems together. Sometimes we need to consciously stop and check in with each other, which we do.

I think the hardest thing for us is that we both care a lot about our family. I think we both want that family like Blue Bloods where they sit down for their Sunday dinner and have difficult conversations but always support each other. We want everyone there. His family. My family. Even our family-in-law. We always want to be in two places at one time. (Probably more me than him because I have FOMO but….)

Jeff and I are finally realizing that if people want to spend time with us, they will make time for us. They will look for a way to get there to see us whether it’s to drive, fly, or meet us somewhere. Those that care will find a way and will make plans with us. And those that don’t, well we have learned it is their loss, not ours. And we realize that sometimes travel plans are hard to make but we also know where there is a will, there is a way.

Jeff and I are social beings. We love spending time with family and friends. We love being a part of a group and having a bond with others. When others welcome us with open arms, it makes us feel like we are on top of the world. We love spending time with people who love to laugh, who love to give, and who are interested in us and what we are doing or have done in our lives. We love those who love to live life to the fullest.

Although we have had some rough times we also have been very blessed to have some really amazing times with some really wonderful and amazing people. It’s sometimes hard to believe we have such wonderful friends and family we have in our lives. And it seems we just keep meeting more and more wonderful human beings. I cannot thank everyone enough who have welcomed us with open arms. You make our hearts happy!

In Family

Hometown Heroes

August 16, 2022 No Comments

About four months ago, our small town decided to honor our hometown heroes with military banners that would be hung all around our town. My mom and I decided to donate to the cause. My dad was in the Army and my grandfather was in the Navy. In our travels up and down the east coast, Jeff and I had seen banners in other small towns. His uncle Larry was honored in his hometown of Follansbee, WV. I was so excited our town decided to become a part of this wonderful experience.

The banners started being hung around town in June. We weren’t back in town yet but one of our friends sent us a picture and told us where they were. They looked amazing! Once we got home we drove downtown, and there they were! Gramps and Dad hanging high. Our community leader spent hours on these banners. She was hoping for 50 flags and our town ended up with 217, one even representing the Civil War. How amazing!

Our community leader strategically hung the flags near the family or near the route the families were most likely to take. Ours is located at the bottom of our road. Every time we head into town, we get to see them. I know it’s weird but I usually say, “there they are,” or “hi guys” every time. Eventually, it will probably get old but for now, it makes me extremely happy and proud to see them up there high above the town.

This program seems to be spreading through many towns throughout the United States. The banners honor past and present military members. Families usually donate towards the cost of the banner and the brackets to hold the banner. I think it’s wonderful, and if your town hasn’t started this program I hope they do soon.

Although we don’t know all of the 217 people who are honored in our community, we feel such a sense of pride every time we drive around town. I just love that so many families decided to donate and get their banners hung. It means so much. I think Gramps and Dad would be honored to see their faces flying high above our town.

In Weekly Wednesday Words

One Person

August 10, 2022 No Comments

As you read in Jealousy, according to the book “Compete Every Day” by Jake Thompson we are in control of three things in life…our attitude, our effort, and our emotion. If you want to change your life, it needs to start with you. Commit to the change.

If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.

-unknown

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Destiny

July 20, 2022 No Comments

Life is short. Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? Once you decide, take action to be that person.

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Photo by Amanda Jones on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Passion

July 13, 2022 No Comments

Rather than sit idly by in fear, find your passion and strive for it.

I would rather die of passion than of boredom.

— Vincent van Gogh

Photo by Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Freedom

July 6, 2022 No Comments

I hope you had a great July 4th weekend celebrating our freedoms and independence. Don’t take them for granted. All of the soldiers and their sacrifices who fought for our freedom should not go unnoticed. We live in the best country in the world. We need to celebrate that and not take it for granted.

The preservation of freedom is not the task of soldiers alone. The whole nation has to be strong.

– Lal Bahadur Shastri

Photo by Tom Dahm on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Teamwork

June 29, 2022 No Comments

I am not sure if it was because my grandpa was so involved in sports or if it was in my DNA, but I love being a part of a team. I enjoy camaraderie and fighting for a common goal. The people I have met at different sports camps and along the way will forever have a place in my heart. Sports instilled in me the willingness to work with other people. That has helped me throughout my career as a teacher as well as a caregiver and a wife.

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision, the ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.

— Andrew Carnegie

Photo from Unsplash

In Family

PNA Golf

June 21, 2022 2 Comments

This past weekend at the Venango Valley Inn and Golf Course we had the annual Polish National Alliance (PNA) Golf Tournament. This has recently been renamed the “Thaddeus Haluch Memorial Golf Tournament” in honor of my grandfather. Grandpa ran the tournament for at least 37 years. and it has been held on Friday and Saturday of Father’s Day Weekend every year since I can remember. He passed away in 2016 so I decided I needed to keep up the tradition. I ran it for another five years with help from our Lodge 1540 and the West End Lodge in Pittsburgh. It become difficult for me to run from Florida, therefore, I asked the guys from the West End Lodge to take it over. Even though my family still helps with the logistics, Jeff, mom, and I get to golf if we want to!

Last year was my first time golfing. I had taken three lessons prior to the outing, and I thought I was going to be GOOD! Haha! Little did I know that golf is a very complicated game. I had a wonderful time and loved being a part of this tournament and actually golfing in it. But I won “high score”. In golf, the goal is to get the lowest score! My grandpa would have just shaken his head and said, “You need to keep your head down.” This year, I did improve my game and did not come in last place! Definitely, something to celebrate! On the opposite end of the spectrum, my mom won the tournament for the ladies (as she has at various times over the years).

Since I was a little girl I have been helping with this golf tournament. Grandpa would start getting stressed in May when the golfers would turn in their registration forms late or cancel at the last minute. My gram took the brunt of the frustration, but we all saw it. He would stress himself to the max letting 130-150 golfers play in this thing. But he loved it. He loved seeing all of the guys from the different lodges throughout Pennsylvania. He loved being the big guy and speaking at the awards banquet. And everyone loved seeing him, too.

It really is a great tournament with years of tradition. You get two days of golf, snacks throughout the day, the best Polish kielbasa, pop, beer, a gift, and dinner on Saturday. Plus, if you happen to be good enough you can win money and a trophy for first, second, and third place (if you are a part of the PNA by having a life insurance or annuity policy). My grandpa arranged the golfers by Flights depending on their scores from the previous year. If you never golfed in this tournament before you were not eligible to win a prize. But if you win your flight you move up to the next one the next year.

Our family has been involved in this tournament for over 40 years. When we were little, my sister and I would volunteer to take the most candy bars we could get that we had to sell for our softball teams. We knew Gramps would tell the golfers he needed a $1 for the 50/50 and $1 for a candy bar. They had to buy the candy whether they wanted to eat it or not! As we got older we drove around on the beer cart. We would have a boat load of cash tips at the end of the day. We thought it was the greatest thing. Even as adults we would man the beer cart and make some money.

My grandpa was old school so of course everything was done by hand. He also didn’t trust the guys so we needed to add up the scores. Then we needed to break any ties. Then we needed to write down their names, lodges, and scores in two places. It took us HOURS to do this. Most of the time we missed dinner and all the golfers just sat there waiting.

Eventually, gramps gave in to the computer, and I would sit on the course and take scores. That way they were added up correctly, and we could sort them and decide the next day’s pairings more quickly. It made it quicker but still, Friday was a long, long day that turned into a long, long night. On Saturday, we had to be down there at 6:30 am to get everything ready for the 8:00 am tee time. Many guys wouldn’t show up because they had too much fun the night before.

Once my sister and I were old enough to drink we would hang out in the bar with the golfers on Friday night. Of course, we didn’t pay for one drink. Grandpa was always worried about the drinking but he loved this weekend and looked forward to it every year. By Saturday evening, he was grinning ear to ear. He loved this tournament.

The past two years have been emotional for me. They were the first two years without gram or gramps. We had 20 new players this year and it hit me that they didn’t get the pleasure of meeting either one of my grandparents. It makes me sad that people won’t get to know them and what they meant to this golf tournament and what the tournament meant to them.

It’s hard to explain especially if you didn’t have a chance to meet my grandparents. It’s hard to understand what a golf tournament can mean to a family. I love that my grandparents knew so many people and that I get to hear their stories. I hope that those who knew my grandparents continue to pass along stories of them to the younger generations. I hope that they appreciate all that they were.

If you are interested in joining the PNA by buying a life insurance policy or annuity, please contact me.

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Mindset

June 15, 2022 No Comments

Our mental health is so important. The way we look at life and our journey determine our happiness and our world. Hopefully, your mind is set to look at all the beautiful things there are in this life.

If you change your mindset, you have the ability to change your whole world.

– Damien Thomas

Photo by kylie De Guia on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

Letter to Gram III (Frustration)

June 14, 2022 No Comments

This is post III of my letter to Gram. I told you it was LONG!! If you are just joining us, head on back to check out Letters to Gram I and II (Change). Writing this letter was very therapeutic for me and maybe writing a letter to your lost loved one will help you, too. Reading these letters again as I edit this post about Gram and my frustration just brings tears to my eyes. I miss that little lady so much.

Last week, my husband and I were blessed to have one of my Gramps‘ former basketball players and his wife at our house for an overnight stay. They were so close to my grandparents that they called them “Mama and Papa”. Hearing their stories of my grandparents and seeing the love in their eyes just touches my heart. My grandparents were the most amazing people and influenced so many lives. Even though I had over 40 years with them I wish I had more. I wish I would have had the pleasure of knowing my grandparents as young adults.

And now to continue on with my Letter to Gram….

Dear Gram,

After our trip to Florida where we met Jeff and Virginia to visit the family, we settled in for the northwest PA spring. That summer, I started working at Bill Lawrence Personal Fitness and took you with me many times. Everyone loved saying hi and chatting with you. You were such an inspiration because you had to climb up two flights of stairs to get to the gym every time we went. Thank you for letting me drag you along. I know it must have been more difficult and frustrating than you led on, but I think you enjoyed being around people even if they were 40 years younger than you.

Over the next three years, we had many great adventures. Jeff and I got more serious, and he asked us to move to Florida for most of the year. We became Sunbirds and started going to Florida for the winter and Pennsylvania in the summer. We flew more times those last five years of your life than you did the whole 91 years before. Even though you were becoming forgetful and on medication for dementia, you still remembered all of the family members and all of the former Alliance students as well. You were happy and willing to do almost anything we asked of you. Rarely did you show any frustration or anger.

In 2018, we lost my sister to cancer. You were upset that it was her and not you. You didn’t understand how or why these things were happening. We vowed to spend more time with the kids and mom in Virginia so we traveled up and down the highway even more.

Soon, you became less independent. I couldn’t leave you for an extended period of time. You started falling from time to time and once even had to get seven stitches put in your head. Jeff and I got engaged, and although we loved taking you with us, we wanted some time for just us. I remember starting to feel a bit resentful and frustrated about having to stay home with you (and boy, do I regret that now) when we couldn’t find anyone to relieve us of our caretaking duties. What I wouldn’t give to spend another beautiful day with you just chilling by the pool.

Even though we had many great talks in the bathroom, I was starting to get down. I wanted to travel more. I wanted to be able to pick up and go and not worry about finding someone to stay with you. I didn’t feel like I had any help except for my Prince, my cousin across the street, a wonderful friend from elementary school, and some amazing, caring teenagers. My caregiving job was getting harder and harder, and I felt like I was not being fair to you.

I feel terrible about how frustrated I would get sometimes with you. I didn’t know how to stop and breathe and just let it go. I didn’t know how to not be selfish. I didn’t want to resent my husband for getting to go while I had to stay home with you. And I didn’t want to resent you for having to stay home. And yes, I know there are worse things than having to sit and watch Wheel of Fortune with you. Honestly now, I wish you were here so we could relax by the pool while Jeff ran around like a gypsy!

I just wanted help. I wanted a granny nanny who could be on call when we needed her and who would treat you like we did. I know plenty of families who had nannies. Could it be that hard to find someone to stay with you? I didn’t think it would be.

We searched Care.com and interviewed tons of people. We found one lady who actually worked with you for about two weeks. I was so happy to have help and to have someone we could trust when we wanted to take a trip. But then she quit. We interviewed more people but no one seemed right for the job. I guess the task is different from asking someone to care for a child and asking someone to care for an elderly woman.

After discussions with mom and Jeff and after you fell again when I was on the other side of the pool, we decided that a senior living center was probably our only option. We wrote you a letter and you agreed that it was time to go. We told you that you would have your own apartment and you seemed really excited about it. We dropped you off and when we left you were all smiles. It was such a relief. I really hoped you would enjoy being in a place where you could relax and not be drug around with us. I was hoping you would make new friends and thrive in your new living environment. But the next three months were some of the most difficult for me and probably for you, too. Please know that leaving you in the senior living center was one of the hardest things I have had to do.

Deciding when to be a caregiver and when to give it up is a very personal and difficult decision. As a caregiver, you do need to put yourself and your relationships first. That way you can be the best caregiver to those you are caring for. There are many decisions to weigh and lots of options out there. Do what is best for you!

There is still one more letter…the story continues.