life changes Archives - Page 4 of 16 - Inspired & Strong | Making the Best of Every Day with Stacy

Dead Duck

October 1, 2024 No Comments

We got to Florida about a month ago. Jeff only had a few hours but I was planning on staying for the week. We wanted to go down and do some yard work and get a head start on the “post summer” cleanup. And, of course I was planning on writing and laying by the pool. Well, as we have learned and as all we all know “the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry” (by Robert Burns).

…so instead of having a few hours to relax and enjoy our Florida home we ended up spending the next three days busting our ass cleaning.

Why you say? Well, A Dead Duck I say!!?? Yep. A Dead Freaking Duck. We have no idea how it got into our house or how long it had been there. Our best guess is it came through the chimney flu. Our friends say animals can only live 24-48 hours without food or water. So, it appears he was probably in the house a couple of days. He did some damage in the hours he was alive. He searched for a way out as we observed by the marks against the sliding glass doors. He definitely wasn’t happy that he was trapped. He knocked over a few things and relieved himself on our beautiful white couch.

It makes me sick to think about it. In 2022, we came home to a hurricane-flooded garage and entryway. Everyone helped each other in the neighborhood. We had the best of friends help us, and we were able to help our neighbors whose houses were flooded three times as much as ours was. I was so grateful that our damage was contained to the garage.

Even though this dead duck made a mess of the house, I was thankful that he didn’t ruin everything in our game room, knock over lamps, or break a window. It also made me appreciate My Rock even more. Even though he only had about six hours to help me, he was calm. He said let’s concentrate on the master bedroom and the kitchen. You need to eat and you need to sleep.

Therefore, we got to work. We called Terminix to see if they would get the dead duck but they said their next appointment was on Thursday! Thursday?? That was four days away!! Are you kidding me? What in the world is your service for? Anyway, My Valentine saved the day by scooping up the duck and tossing him in to the trash. Thank goodness it was trash day. We started with spots on the floor and worked on mopping it together. Then disinfecting the counters and washing anything we could take off beds, couches, etc. We used bleach, vinegar, and the hottest of water. Even if there were not spots we scrubbed it anyway.

I searched for how to clean and disinfect the house. I didn’t want to ruin our couches so we called our homeowners insurance to see if there was anything they could do. We also had a warranty on one of our couches so we submitted paperwork.

After six hours of cleaning, I had to take Jeff to the airport. There was a huge storm so we sat in the car for a few minutes until it subsided. He hated leaving me with the mess of that dead duck but he knew I would handle it as best I could.

I continued cleaning a bit when I got home and then I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about was another animal somehow getting into our home. I felt disgusting and wondered how toxic having a duck in your house could be. I learned that people keep birds as pets and even let them run free all over the house. They gave great advice on cleaning up after them and it gave me some relief that maybe the house wasn’t completely ruined by this random bird. The next day I had our very good friends come over and close the chimney flu. A word to the wise, CLOSE THAT THING whenever you are not having a fire!!

Everyone was very efficient. Insurance adjusters and rug cleaners came the next day. I continued cleaning and disinfecting. I worked nonstop for the next three days. Once I had the inside in a good spot I worked on the outside. During Hurricane Debby in August of 2024, we had about two inches of flooding in our garage. So, I wanted to get it swept out and make sure things were dried out. It rained on my car so I wanted to get it washed as well. And lastly, the weeds and ivy were out of control so I needed to do some yardwork, too.

Needless to say, by Friday evening I was exhausted and sore. I went to a friends’ house to rehash the insanity of the week and to drink a few old fashions. The next day I boarded a flight to Denver. I couldn’t wait for a week of hanging out with friends and my husband. I was so ready to have all the fun and try to forget about that dead duck.

My takeaways after this experience are:

1. Close the chimney flu

2. Be grateful for what you have.

3. Nothing is as terrible as it seems.

4. Be calm.

5. Make a plan.

6. Help each other out.

Furthermore, I Googled what a dead duck means and it said it’s a sign to move on and let go of the past. I am taking this as just that. Be grateful for what I have and look forward to the future. I don’t need to live up to my ideals of the past or anyone else’s ideas about me. I need to have a purpose in life and my purpose is writing to you. I need to experience life and I experience life by traveling. I need meaningful opportunities and I do that by volunteering for Valerie’s House and playing in a ladies’ golf league. Remember, folks, when life throws you lemons make lemonade! (and maybe mix it with vodka).

Photo by Freysteinn G. Jonsson on Unsplash

In Travel Junkie

Ireland

September 17, 2024 No Comments

It appears we like to travel on my husband’s birthday. My Prince and I celebrated his 50th birthday in the Windy City five years ago. We had an amazing time exploring Chicago and enjoying a Cubs baseball game from a rooftop across from the stadium. We had a delicious steak dinner at The Chophouse, where My Heart proposed to me in front of about 40 of our closest friends and family. It was unforgettable. This year, we celebrated double nickels in Ireland with close friends and their Irish family. It was an Irish vacation unlike any other.

We flew into Dublin and discovered they have Ubers which are taxis you can get right from the airport. They speak English with a hefty Irish accent, but being surrounded by other English-speaking folks was nice. One major difference is they drive on the left-hand side of the road, which can take some getting used to, especially as a pedestrian. You definitely need to go back to your years of youth where your mom told you to look both ways before crossing the street.

My Valentine started an “old man” push-up challenge on March 1 with a goal of doing 100 push-ups on his 55th birthday. March first started with one push-up. Then two the next day. Then three and so on. We landed on June 6th therefore he had 98 pushups to do, and I had 98 lunges to do (issues with my neck and shoulder). We did them right there in the lobby of the Dublin Skylon because our room was not available yet. We washed up as best we could after our all-nighter and changed clothes before heading out and getting accustomed to the new time zone.

We walked around and got a bite to eat. Then headed to the Guinness Brewery for our tour. We made a few stops along the way, including the iconic Temple Bar to sightsee and have a beer. I never really wanted to try Guinness beer in the United States but I had to in Ireland. I think the dark color scared me but after the tour and some tastings, I decided I liked it. They also had an apple cider I liked a lot as well.

Dublin was great. It was a Thursday afternoon and everyone was in the bar singing along and happy. Live music was everywhere. It was a bit chilly and a little drizzly but still a great day.

Our friends picked us up at the Guinness brewery later that afternoon, and we went back to the hotel to check in and freshen up. We met across the street at a bar called the Ivy House for a beer and then walked to Fagan’s Pub. It was really cute and we had some great food. Little did we know, most beef in Ireland is raised there on the island and is of high quality, unlike “pub food” in the US. I expected to have a delicious reuben but they weren’t even on the menu. Crazy. But they had other Irish food to try. Afterward, we ended up at The Cobblestone. We randomly ran into another friend from ski weeks who happened to be in Dublin for the weekend. After a few shots and beers (as sweet Gram always wanted), we decided to call it a night.

The next day we had breakfast at Restaurant 104 and headed up to Drumkeeran which is about a two-hour drive. We went there because our friend’s grandfather was a famous flutist, and they have a music festival every year in his honor. We met a cousin of our dear friend Ellen and a few other distant relatives. Everyone in the town knew her grandfather’s story and was excited to have his American family in town to celebrate.

We spent two days in Drumkeeran in a beautiful lodge resort called the Drumhiery Woodland Hideaway. If you need a relaxing, peaceful getaway this is the place to go. It was beautiful. I wish we would have had more time there. It would have been the perfect place to sit out by the fire, listen to nature, and enjoy each other’s company.

We hit all four of the pubs that are in Drumkeeran (a couple of times) and the one restaurant called Laura’s Cafe. We celebrated Jeff’s birthday with baby Guinness shots at midnight on Friday and then with a cake the next day at the family home. We had breakfast at the Drumshambo Gin Distillery which was beautiful and delicious. The festival was great. We listened to a lot of fun Irish music. Instead of having a stage, musicians sit in the corner of the bar and have what they call “a session”. Anyone can join the band, and they play songs everyone knows. The talent of the young children and families was astonishing. It made me wish my family had a few more Polish traditions especially those that involved music or playing instruments.

We then returned to Dublin where my hubby and I continued our tour around Dublin. We stayed at the Wren Urban Nest, which was a cute boutique hotel. The room was pretty tiny but it was really nice and the staff was friendly. Even though it was raining, we explored some more of Dublin. We had to see more of the pubs including The Brazen Head (Ireland’s oldest pub est 1198), The Norseman, and the Temple Bar again. We also picked up a few souvenirs.

Overall, we had an amazing time in Ireland. It was so green because of all the rain. We will most likely go back to check out some castles and the Irish coastline. I believe there is much more to do and see in Ireland and I don’t want to miss it! And yes, Jeff did finish his “challenge” and completed 99 pushups on the 7th and 100 pushups on his 55th birthday (for a total of 5050 for the 100 previous days).

In Weekly Wednesday Words

A World

September 11, 2024 No Comments

We often go through life meeting different people at airports, on trains, at parties, or work. No matter how brief our meeting may be, that person may open a world in us we never knew existed. They may open our eyes to a new way of thinking, a different outlook on life or inspiration to be more.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.

~ Anaïs Nin

Photo by Christine Roy on Unsplash

In Family

Getting Old

September 3, 2024 No Comments

My Rock and I were on a standby flight from Aruba to the United States. We were the last people on but the flight attendant gave us the perk of sitting in the front row with her as she had it saved because her seat belt was broken in the flight attendant jump seat. Across the way was an elderly man with what appeared to be his daughter and granddaughter. It made me think of getting old.

He walked with a cane and was slow moving. I can’t tell age but he seemed older or at least his body did. He went to use the restroom and when he returned you could tell he went. I felt terrible for him and for those of us around him.

But it reminded me of Gram who always said “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” in Polish. And wow isn’t it? Our bodies slow down, we don’t remember as much, we are sore and tired all the time, we get grumpy, and we lose control of some of our bodily functions. The little things we took for granted when we were younger are missed so much as we get older.

When we are kids we wish the time away and we can’t wait to be adults. Then at some point in adulthood, we wish time would slow down, and we wish we could go back to those youthful days when there was no fear, no anxiety, and no cracking when we got out of bed.

Even though I still have almost two years, the big 5-0 is coming soon! It’s crazy to think how old I thought 50 was as a kid. Now it’s so young. I feel like our friends are the same as they always have been. We are still going non-stop and in my mind, I feel like I can do anything now that I did 25 years ago. However, my body and the bulging disks in my neck tell me otherwise.

Anyway, back to the plane and getting old. My mind wandered to my father and others who didn’t have the chance to get old. His body was ravaged by cancer and the treatments but at 60 he was still so very young. I am glad that he didn’t have to go through the stages of old age but he barely got to go through the good old days of retirement because he was fighting cancer for nine years.

So then I have to ask myself, which way is better? Growing old and losing control of your body or dying young and not knowing what you’ve missed? Is it better to know a loved one is going to die as sometimes we do with disease or is it better to lose your loved one in a freak accident that you never saw coming?

I have decided it doesn’t matter. They both suck. Losing a loved one to cancer, disease, or an accident can be unbearable. There is always something you wanted to say. There is always something left undone. There is always a hole in your heart. It can’t be replaced, and you can do nothing to not feel the hurt.

Therefore, my friends, all we can do is support one another. No one’s grief is more or less than another’s. We all grieve in different ways and it all hurts no matter what. Let’s not compare our lives or our grief to others. Let’s help each other by lifting each other up as best we can. Let’s support each other and bring each other out of the dark places we can sometimes get ourselves into.

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Forgive Yourself

August 21, 2024 No Comments

I love this quote and have been saying it over and over to myself. All we can do is react with the knowledge that we have at the time and move forward with what we know. We can’t regret the decisions we’ve made in the past.

You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Don’t let new wisdom lead you to condemn yourself over old struggles. Forgive yourself and move forward.

~ Morgan Richard Olivier

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash

In Family

Toxic Relationships

August 20, 2024 No Comments

Why is it that people keep going back to toxic relationships? If a significant other, family member, or friend treats you with disrespect and/or rage, then why stay in that relationship? Why keep interacting with that person when the same thing keeps happening? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?

My Valentine and I try to live our lives with the least amount of stress and the most amount of fun. Yes, sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. We stay up too late when we know we have important things to do in the morning, travel too much, and therefore sometimes don’t foster the relationships we have in one area, and are too much alike to stop each other from making some not-so-good decisions. But we usually do these things because we are having so much fun at the moment. In the end, we rarely regret the late nights and the fun we have with our amazing friends and family. And maybe some people would call that toxic, while we call it life.

But I guess I am talking about how when other people are not happy in their own lives, or within themselves, they take it out on you. Because they are in a sad state because of a situation and their negative reaction to it, they find you an easy target. They know they can disrespect you and you will keep on taking it. You will call them back. You will forgive and forget. You will move on like nothing happened. And half the time they don’t even admit they were wrong. And why? Because you understand that they were in a bad space and that it truly wasn’t personal against you. You know they didn’t mean what they said or did. So you are able to move on because you have learned through your own self-help articles and therapy that many people lash out because of what is going on inside of them. You know it rarely has anything to do with you. And even though you know all of this in your head it still can make you sad sometimes.

Toxic people are tough. They are your family or very good friends. They have been with you through thick and thin. You have good times with them. You laugh with them. You find hope that finally the situation will turn around. But somehow something happens that triggers the negative response. And because you are a healthy person inside you understand their toxic ways. But because you understand them and try not to take their rudeness to heart, does that mean you need to continue to put up with it? Because they are in a bad place does not give them the right to take it out on you when you have done nothing wrong.

It’s hard because many times these toxic relationships start with jealousy and envy. Their lives didn’t turn out the way they had planned or were hoping and because you have some of what they don’t, they feel like they can be angry with you. Instead of taking responsibility, helping themselves, and figuring out how to improve their lives, they want everyone around them to feel worse. Toxic people have a way of seeing the world negatively and they believe their life sucks. (Please read this article.) They can’t seem to figure out that:

“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”

— Hal Elrod

I know it’s tough, and I give credit to those of you who have cut the toxic relationships out of your life. You are very strong people! To those of you living with toxic relationships, I hope you know it isn’t about you. I hope you can see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful person your loved one is (if only they could see it in themselves). I hope you can lift yourself up, and I hope you don’t pass the toxicity on to other happy people in your life.

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Work On It

August 14, 2024 No Comments

Many times in relationships we are this is me, take it or leave it. Although I believe that is true to an extent, I also believe that we can change for each other if we are willing to let go of our toxic traits, hear each other out, and change together to make the relationship stronger.

My current relationship has taught me that there’s no such thing as “this is who I am, take it or leave it”. When you truly love a person, you work on your toxic traits, you learn to communicate, you LISTEN when your partner expresses their feelings.

~unknown

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

In Weekly Wednesday Words

Heavy

August 7, 2024 No Comments

So many times we carry the weight of heavy burdens and important decisions. The anxiety and fear of making those decisions sometimes is heavier than when we just make the decision. We have to trust our gut and make the best decision we can with the information we have at that time.

It is only heavy because you are deciding over and over again to carry it. Embrace change, and loosen up your sense of identity. Let yourself walk a new path. You do not have to ignore or erase the past. You just have to wholeheartedly embrace the present and move on.

~ Yung Pueblo

Photo by Gabriel Benois on Unsplash

In Family

Transformation

August 6, 2024 No Comments

As you know I am a Yes Woman. Therefore, I get myself into all kinds of jobs and I have yet to figure out how to make any supplemental income doing them. So here we go again. Another transformation. I decided to work with a friend, Taylor Beckett, as a travel agent. I have had my travel agent number for a while, but I am hoping, under his leadership, I can figure out how to earn trips for my hubby and me and discover some great deals for my family and friends. So follow me on Instagram and email me if you need help planning your next trip!

(Here is a link to his new book about becoming a travel advisor if you are interested.)

Because of this new opportunity, I started updating my LinkedIn profile, which has not been updated in about six years. I started following a page that gives daily inspiration. I read a post the other day, and I had to share parts of it with you. If you’d like to read the whole article click here.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Your journey, your story, is uniquely yours. When you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you are the author of your own narrative. The words of others are like the wind – they can push you back or propel you forward, but only if you raise your sails. Choose to raise them towards positivity, towards growth and self-belief. Let the winds of opinions swirl around you, but never let them steer your course. You are stronger than you realize, capable of weathering any storm with resilience and courage. Stand tall, dear reader, and know that in the vast landscape of life, your voice, your choices, and your actions are what truly define you. Embrace this truth, and watch as you transform not just your own life, but also become a beacon of inspiration for those around you. Let’s embark on this journey together, with hearts full of hope and minds brimming with the power of choice. (Taken from the Leadership-Daily Inspiration post).”

I thought this article was amazing. We are so filled with self-doubt, and we let the words of others impact our self-perception. But we need to remember we do not need to listen to those opinions. There is a difference between constructive criticism and making yourself better, and hurtful words and opinions that can tear you down. Choose what you listen to and choose your transformation.

I’ve said it over and over: we cannot control the words or actions of others. All we can control is our reaction to those words or actions. We can hear them and tuck them away or we can let it destroy us. We can move on from the person’s actions, or we can let it pull us down a deep dark tunnel.

Let’s learn to make that transformation from seeing the negative to believing the positive. We have a choice each morning. Are we going to wake up and thank God for what we have: a roof over our heads, a loving family, great friends, a working automobile, and our ability to walk, to talk, to move? Or are we going to wake up pissed off because there are clouds outside our window, the dog needs to be taken out, and our friend didn’t call us back?

Seriously, my friends, life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. We all could list the negative things we’ve been through every day. We can rehash the past events of loss, death, cruel words, insecurities, and self-doubt. Or we can dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening (which is how I sing Dreams!) and count our blessings. Let’s remember we only have one life (that we know of). And it is short. How do we want to live it?

What we need to do is stop comparing our lives to others. Life is too short to be upset that your friend has a nicer car or a bigger house or more money. Does it really matter? None of this materialistic stuff is going with us at the end. So live within your means, take the trips, make the memories, and live your best life for YOU!

Photo by SOULSANA on Unsplash

In Pilot's Wife

My Perfect Life

July 2, 2024 No Comments

As you read in one of my recent posts, several people have said they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures, and they can’t wait to see where we will be going next. Most people wonder where we get the energy. And sometimes I wonder that myself!

At my #LEGS Christmas party a friend of mine said, “I love seeing all your pictures. You have the “perfect” life.” I was flattered, but I hope everyone knows our life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. And what is perfect anyway?

I do have to say that our life is “perfect” for us. We are lucky because we both love the crazy, gypsy, never-home lifestyle we lead. If one of us was a homebody, it wouldn’t work. If one of us was an introvert, it wouldn’t work. But we love being on the go. We love seeing new places and trying new things. We love our homes that we are blessed to have. We also have amazing friends and family that make the places we visit feel like “home.”

I am flattered that people have told me they love our lives, and they are happy for us. We work hard to be able to play hard. We work hard at our marriage to make it work. We communicate with each other to make sure we are on the same page. Of course, we have disagreements and sometimes we lose patience and get annoyed with one another. But we know that marriage is hard, and we want to make sure each other’s buckets are full (Read the post “The Five Love Languages” if you don’t know what I am talking about). Therefore, we need to check in and make sure both of us are enjoying where we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. Unpacking and repacking a few days later can strain a marriage. Being out of our workout and eating routine can also be frustrating. We realize our eating habits must be on point while we are running around.

My Valentine and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Every year we have been together, I have made an 8×8 photo book of our year in review from Snapfish. Usually, the books are about 50 pages long. This year we had so many adventures and so much fun it was almost 90 pages!! I guess I took a lot of pictures and didn’t want to leave anything out. Going through the photographs of the past year was eye-opening. Remembering all the good times and the special memories with the people we love was amazing. I enjoy making these books because they make me go back and review our year. What did we do? Who did we meet? Who did we spend time with? Where did we go? It’s wonderful to look at all the pictures and live it again vicariously.

Our life is not for everyone. Yes, it may look amazing on Facebook and other social media as do a lot of people’s lives. But remember social media isn’t always true. Most of the time, people are putting on a front. They want others to think their life is “perfect“. They want others to believe they are happy and have no problems. We don’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives so give people grace. And PLEASE DON’T COMPARE your life to theirs. Everyone is on their own journey.

As I said our life is “perfect” for us. It’s what we have chosen. Some people don’t want to unpack and repack in the same week. Some people hate packing altogether. Some people don’t want to race from gate to gate to try to catch a standby flight. Some people don’t want to be away from the gym or their home for an extended period. Some people don’t want to go out of their comfort zone or out of their hometown. And guess what? That is okay. Our life is not for everyone. Whatever you choose for your life, make it perfect for YOU!

life changes

Dead Duck

Ireland

A World

Getting Old

Forgive Yourself

Toxic Relationships

Work On It

Heavy

Transformation

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

My Perfect Life

Missing Gram

Letter to Gram