Mindset by definition: is a habitual or characteristic mental attitude that determines how you will interpret and respond to situations.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about mindset and how it can impact our lives. I feel like two people can look at the same situation and have two completely different thoughts about it. Some look up at a beautiful blue sky and only see the sun while the person standing right beside them sees the one cloud in the sky and can only worry about when it is going to rain. It is very intriguing. I believe it comes down to our state of mind and how we view the events in our lives.

Depending on the circumstances thrown at us and the lessons we’ve learned, we have different ways of viewing and reacting to life’s circumstances. I think many times, we as humans, tend to lean towards the negative. Our brains seem to remember the bad times more than the good times. Why do we do that? According to the article below, psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. It’s easier to see and remember the negative because it has more of an impact on us. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort to stay positive.

My husband says it all the time… life is about making choices (and living with the consequences of those choices). We are thrown into many circumstances in life. We have hundreds of choices to make every day. Are we washing our hair? Going to the gym? Drinking beer? Smoking cigarettes? Using sugar in our coffee or almond milk? Are we trying to eat healthy or stopping at the fast food restaurant? These are all choices, and they all have consequences that go with them. If you decide to eat out at a fast food restaurant every day for lunch and you get a double cheeseburger and fries then most likely you are going to gain weight and health problems may occur. On the flip side, if you have an important test coming up and you study and understand the material, the consequence is likely a good grade. This is your choice, and we are all free to make them. So what is your mindset? What are your goals? What do you want out of life? And are you happy with the choices you are making?

A positive mindset isn’t just for those day-to-day decisions. It also determines how we will react to those bigger life circumstances. Remember, we cannot control the circumstances around us (the event) but we can control our REACTIONS to the situations. We may lose a loved one. We may get laid off from a job. We may have our car broken into. The question is how do we react to these situations? What is our mindset?

If we have a negative mindset then we can get down, be depressed, blame others, and not take responsibility for our own lives. Yes, it’s ok to be sad sometimes. But we need to pick ourselves up. If we lose our job we can blame our employer, our family, or the economy. We can believe it is the worst thing that ever happened to us. We can sit at home and sulk about how terrible life is. OR we can take responsibility, change our mindset, and we can say wow this is a wonderful opportunity to go back to school, learn a new skill, or start our own business.

Having a positive mindset can be challenging. Sometimes it takes therapy. Maybe it takes good friends to help you realize life is not all bad. It definitely takes a conscious effort and hard work. The thing we need to realize is we cannot blame others for our situations, and we cannot compare our lives to others. Every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, death, disappointment, and sadness. And every single one of us has a different reaction to those experiences. Some of us have done the work and are striving for the silver lining. We cannot blame them. It does not mean they haven’t forgotten or that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It just means they are consciously reframing the negative thoughts in their head and striving for positive outcomes. We need to look within ourselves and see if we are stuck in a negative mindset. Then we need to decide what WE can do individually to help ourselves.

Just because “bad” things happen, doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. It just means there a different road is ahead and now we have a choice. Are we going to be strong and recover from the setback or are we going to continue letting circumstances control us? If we believe our life sucks then it will. If we see the world in a negative way we need to try to turn our thinking around as this helpful article suggests. Remember:

“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”

— Hal Elrod

Our mindset is the most critical piece of the puzzle. How we view our life and its’ circumstances is under our control. Believing in ourselves and trying to find the silver lining is well within us. We just need to do the work and change the way we see things.

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash