As we start this new year let us remember we don’t need to stay where we are. If we are unhappy with our present circumstances we just need to change our mindset and figure out a plan to get where we want to be.
Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go. They merely determine where you start.”
—Nido Qubein
Today is December 31. The last day of the year 2023. It is New Year’s Eve. It is a time of reflection. It is a time of resolutions. Many people want to lose weight, travel, or complete that project they have been putting off. These are all wonderful and it is healthy to set goals and have aspirations. The problem is very, very few of us follow through with our New Year’s Resolutions.
A couple of years ago, my Heart recommended that we do a year in review instead of New Year resolutions as he read in a blog written by Tim Ferris. It was called, ” Forget New Year’s Resolutions and Conduct a ‘Past Year Review’ Instead“. It’s very short so please read. The idea of it is to make two columns. One Negative and one Positive. Then look back on your year one week at a time. He says, “For each week, jot down on the pad any people or activities or commitments that triggered peak positive or negative emotions for that month. Put them in their respective columns.” What was positive? What gave you negative feelings? What went well in 2023? What can you list in the positive column? What accomplishments can you celebrate this year? What activities did you enjoy? What activities gave you anxiety? What trips did you love? What commitments did you wish you didn’t need to make? What people gave you joy? What people left you feeling empty?
As you enter the new year and have completed your year in review Tim suggests you should schedule more of the events that gave you positive feelings. Schedule more time with those “things” or people that gave you joy. On the flip side, work your way out of those activities or people who were on top of your negative leaderboard. Don’t do those “things” that made you miserable. This is a great way to look at the past year whether you are a single or married person. If you are married, please talk about the positives and negatives with your loved one, and move forward to an amazing new year. Discuss how you can work together to squash the negative and invite more of the positive into your life?
“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
—Hal Borland
I hope you take the time and choose to do this simple task. Look at your year in review and discover what gave you joy. Then it is up to you to schedule more of those events with the people and events you love. I wish you a safe and Happy New Year’s Eve and a wonderful New Year! Live life to the fullest!
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
A friend told me I should publish this letter every year so I thought I would share it again for those who missed it the first time or for those who may need to read it again at this time of year. Even though many of us have family or friends who are no longer in our lives for a variety of reasons, I hope we can rejoice and celebrate those who are. Celebrate each other and your relationships whether it’s someone you talk to once a day, once a month or once a year. If they bring joy and light to your world, tell them how much you appreciate them. For those who shed a shadow of darkness on your light, let them go. Live this life that’s meant to be lived this holiday season and the upcoming new year.
The Holidays. We all seem to love them. We have many expectations for them. Some of us have a lot of anxiety for them. Some of us have lost loved ones through the years, and we seem to miss them the most during the holidays. Let us try to rejoice and be happy this holiday season. Let’s honor our lost loved ones by keeping their spirit alive with love and laughter. To try to deal with loss and anxiety I decided to write a letter from above. Imagine this letter being sent to you by your lost loved one.
Dear loved one on Earth,
I know this is a difficult time for you. You want me to be there in person and not just in spirit. You want to hear me laugh and give me a big squeeze. I, too, want that more than anything. But I also want you to understand how much I want you to be happy even though I am gone.
I feel like you are holding yourself back. Maybe you are afraid that you will disappoint me if you are too happy without me down there. Maybe you feel I will be disappointed if you have too much fun. Maybe you are scared that my memory will fade if you enjoy yourself and other people around you. Please know that is the furthest thing from the truth.
The way you can honor me the most is by living your best life!! As you know time on Earth is limited and you never know when your time will be up. I am at peace. I am happy. I am having the best time reuniting with all of our lost loved ones. I am no longer in pain. I am free. I am young. I am waiting for you. You, too, will see when your time comes how wonderful it is here in Heaven.
Please know I have not forgotten about you, and I still hold you tight whenever I get the chance. I am by your side every day. I hold your hand when you are lonely, and I pick you up when you have fallen. I send you signs from Heaven. But I see your struggles, and I know it is my fault you are so sad, and I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to live! I need you to search your soul and find yourself. Who are you now? Who can you become? How can you honor me and my spirit?
Even though it may be hard, please know that I am ok. And now I want you to be ok. I want you to find a companion or partner to make you happy. I want you to find friends where you can laugh and giggle until all hours of the night. I want you to take chances and travel. Go on a wild adventure. And when you think of me, think of me and smile. Don’t feel guilty. Life is meant to be lived and you need to start living again.
So for the upcoming holidays, give yourself grace. You are not alone. I am by your side and I love you. Talk about me, smile about the amazing memories we shared, and start this new year by living your best life… without me.
Love,
Your Loved One in Heaven
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
Sometimes it’s hard not to give up and say goodbye to family members who make things difficult. It can be very tempting especially if they are toxic. And maybe the relationship needs to change and that’s ok. But family is family. Don’t give up on each other.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.”
~ Rick Riordan
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash
Autumn is such a beautiful time of year. The vibrant colors on the trees show us how magical nature is. Then it reminds us that you have to let things go. Don’t hold on to grudges. Don’t fixate on the past. Each year show your beautiful colors then let the things go that are holding you back.
“Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.”
-unknown
Picture of Autumn in Park City downloaded from a Facebook post.
💙 Remembering My Dad 💙
Today, I want to take a moment to honor and celebrate my dad. He would have been 72 years old today. Happy heavenly birthday! Words cannot express how much I love and miss him every day.
My dad was my biggest cheerleader. He was at every sporting event I competed in when he could be. He worked different shifts so sometimes he could only be there for his 30-minute lunch break. But he was there. He taught me the importance of kindness, compassion, and integrity through his own actions. His unwavering support and belief in me gave me the confidence to chase my dreams and overcome any obstacles that came my way.
I cherish the memories we shared, from the simple moments of laughter to camping at Kinzua Dam or boating on Edinboro Lake. He never said too much but the conversations we did have shaped my perspective on life. Whether it was playing catch in the backyard, shooting hoops out the back door, or teaching me to drive a stick shift, his presence always brought comfort and reassurance.
His love was unconditional, and he never hesitated to put his family’s needs before his own. He worked tirelessly to provide for us, sacrificing his own desires to ensure we had everything we needed. Even during his nine-year battle with lung cancer, he continued to drive hours to and from work. He never showed us that he was in any pain or uncomfortable in any way. His strength was beyond measure. His selflessness and dedication continue to inspire me to be a better person every day.
Losing my dad was undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences I’ve ever faced. But even in his absence, his spirit lives on within me. I carry his values, his wisdom, and his love in my heart, and I strive to make him proud in everything I do.
Today, I encourage you all to take a moment to appreciate the special bond you share with your own fathers. Let them know how much they mean to you, for time is fleeting, and we never know what tomorrow may bring. If you have lost your father I hope you see signs from Heaven that he may be sending you every day.
Dad, I hope you can feel the love and gratitude that surrounds you. I hope the family gets together up there for a great heavenly birthday dinner. Tell everyone hello. Thank you for being my hero. You will forever hold a special place in my heart. I miss you more than words can express, but I find peace in knowing that your love will forever be with me.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about mindset and how it can impact our lives. I feel like two people can look at the same situation and have two completely different thoughts about it. Some look up at a beautiful blue sky and only see the sun while the person standing right beside them sees the one cloud in the sky and can only worry about when it is going to rain. It is very intriguing. I believe it comes down to our state of mind and how we view the events in our lives.
Depending on the circumstances thrown at us and the lessons we’ve learned, we have different ways of viewing and reacting to life’s circumstances. I think many times, we as humans, tend to lean towards the negative. Our brains seem to remember the bad times more than the good times. Why do we do that? According to the article below, psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. It’s easier to see and remember the negative because it has more of an impact on us. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort to stay positive.
My husband says it all the time… life is about making choices (and living with the consequences of those choices). We are thrown into many circumstances in life. We have hundreds of choices to make every day. Are we washing our hair? Going to the gym? Drinking beer? Smoking cigarettes? Using sugar in our coffee or almond milk? Are we trying to eat healthy or stopping at the fast food restaurant? These are all choices, and they all have consequences that go with them. If you decide to eat out at a fast food restaurant every day for lunch and you get a double cheeseburger and fries then most likely you are going to gain weight and health problems may occur. On the flip side, if you have an important test coming up and you study and understand the material, the consequence is likely a good grade. This is your choice, and we are all free to make them. So what is your mindset? What are your goals? What do you want out of life? And are you happy with the choices you are making?
A positive mindset isn’t just for those day-to-day decisions. It also determines how we will react to those bigger life circumstances. Remember, we cannot control the circumstances around us (the event) but we can control our REACTIONS to the situations. We may lose a loved one. We may get laid off from a job. We may have our car broken into. The question is how do we react to these situations? What is our mindset?
If we have a negative mindset then we can get down, be depressed, blame others, and not take responsibility for our own lives. Yes, it’s ok to be sad sometimes. But we need to pick ourselves up. If we lose our job we can blame our employer, our family, or the economy. We can believe it is the worst thing that ever happened to us. We can sit at home and sulk about how terrible life is. OR we can take responsibility, change our mindset, and we can say wow this is a wonderful opportunity to go back to school, learn a new skill, or start our own business.
Having a positive mindset can be challenging. Sometimes it takes therapy. Maybe it takes good friends to help you realize life is not all bad. It definitely takes a conscious effort and hard work. The thing we need to realize is we cannot blame others for our situations, and we cannot compare our lives to others. Every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, death, disappointment, and sadness. And every single one of us has a different reaction to those experiences. Some of us have done the work and are striving for the silver lining. We cannot blame them. It does not mean they haven’t forgotten or that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It just means they are consciously reframing the negative thoughts in their head and striving for positive outcomes. We need to look within ourselves and see if we are stuck in a negative mindset. Then we need to decide what WE can do individually to help ourselves.
Just because “bad” things happen, doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. It just means there a different road is ahead and now we have a choice. Are we going to be strong and recover from the setback or are we going to continue letting circumstances control us? If we believe our life sucks then it will. If we see the world in a negative way we need to try to turn our thinking around as this helpful article suggests. Remember:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
Our mindset is the most critical piece of the puzzle. How we view our life and its’ circumstances is under our control. Believing in ourselves and trying to find the silver lining is well within us. We just need to do the work and change the way we see things.
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash
I try to write inspiring and uplifting posts, but sometimes I need to write about the sad stuff. Life is too short to hold grudges, be mad, sad, or down on yourself. But sometimes you can get in a funk and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out of it. That’s why it’s important to have a sound support system. Sometimes you need some positive reinforcement from your friends or family.
It’s hard to be positive especially when you’ve been hit with tragic events over and over. Losing a loved one, losing your job, losing your partner to divorce or separation, becoming distant from your family, or not hearing from your best friend can be huge downers. These are life circumstances. They are sad, and no one ever said it would be easy.
Yes, we can get down on ourselves. We can feel left out. We can feel depressed or pissed off. And yes, sometimes you need to sit in your private space, be sad, and have a good cry. Let it all out. Scream. Shout. Tell the world it’s not fair. Tell God you are upset. But then you need to pull yourself together and search deep within your soul. What has got you down? What has caused the feelings inside of you? Remember, we can only control our reactions to the circumstances that are thrown at us.
Over the years, I have lost several of my family members. I could be down and mad at the world. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I wonder why our family? Why did my sister have to go? Why isn’t my dad here with us anymore? And that’s okay. I am allowed to be sad sometimes. But I have to realize I cannot control their death. I cannot bring them back. I can only control how I react to the situation. I can only learn from their death that life is so very short and that one day I will reconnect with them. Until then why shouldn’t I try to be positive and spread kindness in this world? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the days I have left on this Earth? Why shouldn’t I try to experience all this world has to offer?
And maybe my circumstances are different than others. I don’t have to work full-time or stay in one place for an extended period. And for me, that is what I enjoy. I love living the gypsy life! Even if you have a job or need to stay in one place you can make it an adventure. Treat your city as if you are a tourist. What can you explore on your days off? Can you rent a bike and take a ride? Can you take a Sunday drive and head out into the country or to a park to enjoy the peacefulness? There are ways to make the world around you a wonderful place. You just need to start with you. What do you enjoy?
Remember, you have to do what makes you happy and what you have control over. Waiting for your best friend to call isn’t something you can control. You need to reach out or you need to move on. You cannot control your best friend. Waiting for the man of your dreams to show up on your doorstep isn’t going to happen either. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. It’s scary and intimidating, but taking that first step is the hardest. But I promise it will be worth it!
It is also important to have friends that inspire you. It is important to have friends that are there for you through the good and bad times. It is important to have a friend you can call when you are down. Hopefully, your friends can pick you up when you are sad. Sometimes friends can be more understanding and supportive than your family. That’s why it’s important to choose friends who lift you up. My Prince and I are blessed with the best of friends.
In the end, it is okay to be sad sometimes, but please don’t let that sadness ruin your life. Life is too short, my friends. Turn your circumstances around. Find a powerful, uplifting song! Find a better, happier place for you within you. Take control of your life and make it the best life it can be! Take the Leap of Faith and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do!
Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
Some people choose to live life muddled, scared, and defeated. Life does not have to be that way. Life is messy but YOU have a choice of how you want to live. Don’t let life beat you down. Stand up and live it your way.
“You make a choice: continue living your life feeling muddled in this abyss of self-misunderstanding, or you find your identity independent of it. You draw your own box.”
— Duchess Meghan
Photo by Andrey Trush on Unsplash
Sometimes we get wrapped up in what others think we should be doing with our lives. We lose sight of what we really want to do. Through love and inspiration, you can do anything you put your mind to.
“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”
— Ella Fitzgerald
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash