Why do we find it so easy to blame others? We blame others for our unhappiness. We blame them for our broken hearts. We blame them for our empty bank accounts. We determine it must be someone else’s fault because it can’t be our own. It’s so easy to say they didn’t visit so I am sad. They didn’t call me to say I’m sorry, so now I am upset. They didn’t ask me to come to the party so they must not like me, so now I am disappointed.
Yes, it is very easy to blame others when things don’t go our way. But let’s stop and take responsibility for our actions. Let’s ask ourselves about our behavior. Why am I unhappy? Why is my bank account empty? Why don’t people want to be around me? Am I a person who brings light and happiness into the room? Or do I walk in with a dark cloud over me like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh? Let’s ask ourselves which type of person we are and if others want to be around that type of person. Everyone is dealing with their own personal demons. Let’s be a light for each other.
Depression is a very real disease, and I am not discounting those feelings. But steps can be taken. We can ask for help. We can try therapy. We can read uplifting books. We can search for helpful articles to change our Mindset. We can work hard to change our negative view into a positive one. I believe we can take steps to pull ourselves out of the darkness and into the light. I know it’s hard to see it when you are down but you have to push through.
When bad things happen we immediately want to find someone to blame. We are upset and mad and need someone to take it out on. When most of the time it is not anyone’s fault. It is a bad thing that happened and we cannot go back and undo that action. All we can do is control OUR reaction to it.
I understand how we react with our hearts and emotions instead of with a deep breath and logic. We fly off the handle and usually make the terrible situation worse. Life happens. And sometimes we need to try to remember that it really is no one’s fault. Accidents happen. I don’t believe that people mean for others to get hurt. But does blaming others help? The incident happened. The action has been done. There is no one to blame. Let’s try to take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one. And let’s move on.
Many times we feel hurt because of what is going on inside of us. And many times we project things also because of what is going on inside of us. We need to fix ourselves first instead of blaming others.
When bad things happen let’s take a deep breath. Let’s think is this going to matter in five years? How much of an impact will it have on my life? Is it my situation to get involved in? If I were on the other side of the situation, how would I want that person to react? I think back to when I was single and dating, I would get so upset if a guy didn’t like me. I was crushed and thought I would never find someone. After an emotional breakdown, I had some amazing friends who would help me to think positively (Thank you LP, JW, and MA!). They would help me to see that we were two good people but not good together. They helped me see that God had a plan and that all these missteps would lead me to some bigger and better love. (And it took 10 years but it happened!) Sometimes we need to talk ourselves through bad situations. Sometimes we need some amazing friends who support us. And sometimes we need to let go of the hate and the blame.
Let’s ask ourselves if the hate we pour onto someone else is worth it. Do they deserve it? Is it really hurting them or are we just hurting ourselves with these pent-up negative emotions? If we let go of that person and the blame then can we feel better? Can we logically get past the situation? Can we learn to love this person or let them go? So many times a terrible situation can lead to something bigger and better. It is just very hard to see when we are in the middle of it. Let’s try to look forward and not backward.
It is hard. It is extremely hard not to react with emotion. But we need to try to take the situation and say the incident happened. Now what? How do I get through it? How do I make it better? Is there anything positive to see? Let’s stop the blame game and take responsibility for our actions and our situations. Let’s let go of the hate. I don’t believe it hurts anyone but ourselves.
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
