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In Pilot's Wife

Spirit of NAASF

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As you have read, My Rock and I go skiing once a month from December through April. On these ski weeks, most of the airlines compete by racing down the mountain on skis or a snowboard. Although our team does not race, we enjoy the spirit of friendship and fun that occurs throughout the week. We like to ski together and relax on the mountain.

Each week NAASF gives awards to the racers in different levels and spirit trophy events. At the end of every season, they give the most important and prestigious award called the “Spirit of NAASF Award”. This award goes to someone who exemplifies the passion for skiing as well as the spirit of friendship and camaraderie. The winner gets a plague as well as a HUGE trophy to display for the year. My Valentine received over 13 nominations for the award and was given the award at Palisades in March 2022. Here are just a few excerpts from those nominations.

  1. In 2013, Jeff, our team president, took over the reins of this club and made it his personal goal to expand the club’s presence at the NAASF events. Although we may not take the racing events too seriously, we all love the snow, camaraderie, happy hour, and costume parties at these events. It takes an extreme amount of his personal time to coordinate events, members, lodging, dues, etc. He has grown the group from 1 participant to a huge mailing list, and many active participants (142 on the mailing list!!!).  We even now have a logo, team flag, team uniforms, and patches.
  2. team uniforms
  3. I nominate Jeff for having grown his club from one person in 2013 to now 120 members on the email roster and usually 20 to 30 showing up at each event. They are now rocking their second club gear and look awesome all thanks to Jeff. Jeff promotes friendship across the airline clubs like no other. Always invites, never excludes. Jeff has shown time and again how to act like a gentleman and sets a great example for all of us to follow.
  4. I would like to nominate Jeff, President of the Ski and Snowboard Team, for the Spirit of NAASF Award. Jeff has put an incredible amount of time into building the team and is always trying to increase our presence at NAASF events. He also has put out quite a lot of his personal cash to put together a team uniform recently, and now we finally have a team “look”. For our newer members, Jeff puts a lot of time into increasing awareness of all the NAASF events and is always working increase participation. He also shows a lot of energy and team spirit toward trying to be very creative and involved in the costume parties, which I believe is one of the best events at NAASF events. He truly embodies the Spirit of NAASF with his dedication to the team, love of snow, and the joy he takes in our events, friendship, and memories.
  5. costume parties
  6. I would like to Nominate Jeff for the Spirit Award. Jeff has been an amazing leader and friend to the ski club.  He has made our club a family.  He works tirelessly to plan the logistics of our wonderful experiences. Please accept my highest recommendation for Captain Jeff for this award.
  7. I’d like to take a minute to nominate Jeff for the Spirit of NAASF award.  This is my first year with the Ski/Ride Team, however, I spent several years riding with another airline. In the short time I’ve known Jeff, I’ve been beyond impressed with the time and energy he puts into his position as the President of the team. From coordinating our new gear, coordinating lodging, promoting the theme parties, supporting us newcomers in our first races, etc. The list goes on and on. Starting out basically by himself to growing our club to where it is now is very admirable. He loves NAASF, his teammates, and all of our other airline colleagues.  I couldn’t think of somebody more deserving of this award.
  8. Jeff is always looking for ways to bring people together, planning enthusiastically with United and Delta club captains for coaching and team-building at Copper before the season begins, and bringing his club with full force and high style once NAASF starts (remember the Dallas Cowboys and the Jamaican bobsledders?) Jeff’s love of camaraderie and fellowship at the apres-ski is legendary – he’s quick to include a newcomer in a circle of seasoned friends at a table, or bridge the gap of years away by recounting a great story about a returning member.  A true sportsman, Jeff often roots for the underdog, and under his leadership, the racing squad is starting to grow, in turn enriching the racing experience for everyone.  His work to develop new uniforms has raised our club’s visibility on the mountain and fostered team spirit.  Maybe the easiest way to see how Jeff exemplifies the Spirit of NAASF is to ask who’s ever had a terrific time skiing, sharing some laughs, or hitting a dance floor with him, and watch the whole room’s hands shoot up.

blankAs you can see, this guy is one of a kind. If you don’t know him well, I hope that you would open your hearts to his spirit of fun and friendship. He will support you in everything you do. This award means so much to him. Last year was the first time he was nominated, and he won! He has taken such pride in growing his ski and snowboard club from one member to over 142 on the email list. Each month there are new members as well as members who decide to come who haven’t been in years as well as the regulars who come every season. It is such a great mix of people.

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I have only been a member of the ski club for five years, but I have met some amazing people and made some lasting friendships. I also look to see who my flight crew is when we travel, hoping to see one of them in the air instead of on the mountain, but that hasn’t happened yet.

This group of people is amazing. Yes, they all talk a lot and you have to interrupt to get your turn, but they are some of the most fun, laid-back, and generous people I know. Everyone gets along and there is no judgment on how you ski or board. Everyone just wants to enjoy the beauty around them and appreciate that they have the skill and physical ability to make it down the mountain.

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This week my sweet love will have to give up his trophy to the next Spirit of NAASF award winner. Although we won’t be able to make the ski week, we wish the best of luck to all nominees, and we hope everyone has so much fun!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Weekly Wednesday Words

Make the Time

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I don’t know how many times to say it but life is short. Why live a life you don’t enjoy? Make the time to make changes and make the life you want. Reinvent yourself to make your dreams a reality.

If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you are eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want.

~ Kevin Ngo

Photo by Brooke Campbell on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Adventures with Gram

The Medium

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About two months ago, I had my very first session with a medium. I had never really thought about talking to one or trying to connect with my lost loved ones, but after two different people mentioned the word medium to me in a week, I figured it was time to try.

According to Wikipedia, Mediumship is “the practice of purportedly mediating communication between familiar spirits or spirits of the dead and living human beings.” I have heard of mediums before but I guess I wasn’t really sure if they could truly connect. Even though I believe in spirits and angels and that there are signs from Heaven, I thought many mediums were scammers who took advantage of others, especially those in deep grief.

But it all started the first week of January 2023. We stopped by a friend’s house, and she was telling me how she reconnected with an old friend who was a medium. I was intrigued and for the first time, I wondered if she would be able to connect with my family.

my family

The next week, at my volunteer training at Valerie’s House, I met a wonderful woman. She told me she and her mother were having difficulty with the passing of her brother. They contacted a medium named Jake Samoyedny. My friend said he performed the session via Zoom and it was awesome. She said it was totally worth it and helped both of them so much on their grief journey.

After hearing of this experience, I decided I needed to give it a try. I wanted my mother and me to do it together because, like most mothers who have lost a child, she continues to struggle with the loss of my sister. I scheduled a session for the last week in January when my mom would be in Florida, and we could do it together.

A couple of days later I started thinking, and I decided I wanted a session by myself before ours together. We were out on a ski trip in Taos, NM so one morning I decided to skip skiing and have a Zoom call with this medium in New York.

Honestly, I was blown away. He was able to connect with most of my family. Gram came first. She said she was very grateful to Jeff and me for taking care of her. She said she never wanted to be a burden and that we didn’t make her feel like one. The interesting thing is burden is a word Gram used all the time. So it had to be her! The medium said Gram was in the spiritual world just bragging about me. That made me feel so happy. She also said that she was ready to go at the end, and that I didn’t need to feel any guilt. She and grandpa were happy and singing up in Heaven. My heart was relieved.

jeff and gram

Next, my sister came into the call. She too had faced the fact that her time here on Earth was done. Her job in the spiritual world is meeting babies who have passed too early and don’t have anyone up there to “receive them”. She puts her arms around these young spirits and welcomes them into the spiritual world until their families are found. I expected nothing less from my gentle-hearted sister.

sis and baby

My dad was there too because he kept flashing the Steelers logo, but at the time I didn’t realize it. He was always quiet so I wasn’t surprised that he let my gram and sister do all the talking. Just his presence was enough for me.

dad and sis

Some of the things Jake, the medium, knew I couldn’t believe. I know much of my life is an open book and there is a lot of information on my blog. Now he had a week to Google me and learn all about me but does he do that for every person? And what if you don’t have an online presence? He didn’t ask me for any information, but he knew so many things. It seems the spirits portrayed information to him such as Gram and Gramp’s dates of death, my ex-husband’s name, a guy who passed in our 20s, my sister as Wonder Woman, my uncle’s Polish name which was Stasiu and that Jeff was right by my side supporting me in this life. I just can’t believe that he could have found some of that information.

gram jeff and stacy

Towards the end of the session, the medium gave me a bit of much-needed therapy. He told me that I need to be a Yes, Woman which is hard to believe that I should say yes to more! But it seems I am clearly on the right path. He also told me to keep writing. He says I may even be able to write a book! Therefore, one of these days look for me on the bookshelves.

After my session with the medium I felt like I was flying! I felt amazing and unstoppable. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. My family was happy and at peace. They had no regrets and didn’t feel I needed to regret any actions I took or didn’t take. I needed to believe that I did the absolute best I could for them. Now I need to believe that I need to do the best for myself and my family. Jeff and I try to live our lives to the fullest and it gave me encouragement to continue our path. It also made me feel like I really could write a book that people might buy. Honestly, I have always wanted to be an author. It must have been my Honors English teacher, Mrs. Erdos, who put the love of writing into my brain. I couldn’t wait to start.

Whether you all believe there is something out there or not, I have to believe I will see my family again. I have to believe they are happy and content and having the best time wherever they are. I have to believe that even though the process of dying may be devasting, death itself is instant and the soul is lifted up into a state of unconditional love and peace in the blink of an eye.

If you have a lost loved one and would like to see if you can connect, I highly suggest using Jake. He records the session for you so you can listen to it over and over. He seems to understand the spiritual world and can help if you are struggling with the loss of your loved one. He says there are signs that they send us. Make sure you look for signs of your lost loved one. They truly are all around us.

Photo by Omkar Jadhav on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Family

People

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Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.

For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.

two little girls telling secrets

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I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.

Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.

It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.

So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?

saying with a lady on the beach

What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.

It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.

I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.

It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!

Sign says do what you love

Photo by Millo Lin on Unsplash

For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.

Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

 

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In Adventures with Gram

Letter From Gram

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Today marks two years since we lost Sweet Gram. I miss her and her beautiful smile so much. If you have been following my blog you know that I posted a letter to Gram that ended up being spread out over four different posts. I guess I had a lot to say to her! That was my way to help myself on my grief journey. My therapist also suggested that I write a letter to myself as if it were written by Gram. My therapist thought it would be helpful for me to hear what Gram might have to say. So here goes. My version of a letter from Gram and what it may be like there in Heaven.

My Dearest Stacy,

I am beyond devastated to hear these words in your letter. I am so sorry that you are struggling to this extent. As much as I wish I was there with you on Earth, I am having the most magical time here in Heaven.

You see in Heaven I am young again, just like when I always told you I felt 22. My body has no aches or pains. My skin is wrinkle-free and my hair is blond and beautiful as it always was. I have reconnected with all of my lost loved ones. Both of my brothers and my parents are here. I visit them on the old family farm from time to time, and we lay on hay bails and look at the clouds in the sky.

My best friend, Dorothy, is here. So many nights we have sat up laughing and reminiscing about all of the mischiefs we used to get into. We talk about the nights we drove to Pittsburgh and all of the young men we were enamored with before we met the “ones”.

My son, Stanley, is here. He looks so good. He, too, is happy. He is sorry that he didn’t get a chance to tell us all goodbye because the aneurysm took him so quickly. But much to my relief, it happened so fast that he didn’t feel any pain. He wants to thank you for making the effort to spend time with your cousin, his daughter, and my granddaughter while we traveled up and down the east coast. He hopes you will see more of her in the future. She is a great mother, and he is so proud of his grandchildren and what wonderful young people they are becoming.

Your grandpa is here. He can’t believe everything you made me do but he knew deep down that I could keep up. He wants me to pass along the message that he is so proud of you. He is proud of you for sticking in the education field. He is proud of you for sticking it out until you met the man of your dreams. He is proud of you for doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. He is proud of you for everything that you did for me even though he was terrified the day you took me to hike Cooper’s Rock!

Your grandpa and I go dancing every Saturday night. We sing in the choir on Sunday mornings and at various events here in Heaven. We eat dinner with your dad and sister every Sunday like we used to. We have seats saved for all of you at the table but we know you have a purpose to fulfill there on Earth so we wait. We get to see what you are doing every day hence we don’t miss a thing. And if you look closely we send you signs that we are right there by your side.

Your sister is struggling the most. Although her body is not ravaged by cancer anymore, she misses being there with her kiddos. She is glad that you visit them as much as you can and thinks you are a good influence on them. Keep sharing your life with them. They are growing up into the most precious little beings. She is proud of how athletic and smart they are. Although she hates not being there by their side, she is glad that everyone is so happy. She sees joy in the kids’ eyes and is glad the kids have so many supportive people in their lives who love them so much. She is happy that her husband has found someone to share his life with. It is good for the kids to see their dad happy. Your sister is beyond grateful that your mom has been there to watch them grow up and to help them with any daily struggles.

Your dad, Marvin, and Patty are acting like the foolish party animals they were in high school. They are having a ball. They sit around campfires and talk about the good ole days. Marvin realizes that he made a few mistakes and wishes things would have been different. He is proud of his three boys and the men they have become. Patty, like your sister, struggles that she had to go to Heaven when she was so young. How she wishes she was there when her boys hit all of their milestones. She sees their struggles and hopes they feel her presence because she is right beside them every day. How she wishes things were different but she understands it wasn’t meant to be.

Stacy, please do not beat yourself up about the last few months of my life. My body was tired. My mind was getting frail. I enjoyed those last five years with you and Jeff more than you could ever know. Traveling up and down the east coast with you was the best time of my life. I actually think I flew with you more in my last 5 years than in my first 91.  I loved how we got to see family and friends. Thank you for taking me along with you. You have amazing people in your life. The fact that ALL of them welcomed me into their homes was a blessing. I never wanted to be a burden on you or your friends. I know many times I didn’t want to stay but it was only because I didn’t want to embarrass you or myself. I’ve told you time and time again “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old!”

In conclusion, please know that I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will wait to see you until your work on Earth is done. Family is very important and you have so much to give, but always remember you need to take care of yourself first. Life is short even if you do get to turn 96 so smile, laugh, inspire, and live the life you are meant to live.

Love, Gram

There you have it. My version of what Gram might say. Remember life is short so LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE with all you have. Fill your heart and your time with those people who fulfill you and fill your spirit. Let go of those who bring you down and deflate you. Life is meant to be lived so live it to the fullest!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Pilot's Wife

Relationships

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I have written a few posts about my husband, My Prince, My Rock, and My Valentine. As you know relationships, especially marriages are not perfect. They take work and communication, and sometimes therapy. But relationships are what make the world go round. They are what makes this life worth living. They are how we learn about love, compromise, and decision-making. Relationships are how we grow and learn throughout our lives. Even though our marriage is not perfect, Jeff and I are dedicated to making it the most adventurous, beautiful ride we can. We believe we need to grow and learn together. We need to support each other on whatever adventures come our way!

us having fun

This Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to tell someone you love how much they mean to you. Whether it’s a spouse, a significant other, a best friend, or just someone who once meant something to you. Take a few moments to send them a message about how much you care.

Valentine’s Day can be lonely for many people. It can make people who are single feel sad because they are alone and don’t have a Valentine. It can make couples feel pressure to go to dinner or spend too much money on roses that are overpriced. It can make people in relationships disappointed if their loved one doesn’t remember the holiday. Whatever this Day means to you, try to remember you don’t need to be sad, lonely, or disappointed. Love is all around you. And the first person you should love is yourself.

Maybe today you take some time to pamper yourself. Maybe you take a nice, hot bubble bath. Maybe you get dressed up and treat yourself to a nice dinner out. Maybe you go to your garden and pick yourself a bouquet of flowers. Maybe you draw or paint a picture. Whatever your passion, do something for yourself.

If you are in a relationship, spend some quality time with your loved one. Turn off the TV. Turn off the phone. Spend some time focusing on each other with no distractions. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or do anything fancy. Maybe play cards or play a game. Maybe read to each other or take a walk in a park. Whatever you do make time for one another.

Maybe today you get together with your friends. Maybe you go see a movie or watch a movie on Netlflix. Maybe you and a friend go for a walk or make dinner together. Maybe you aren’t in the same town so take a moment to FaceTime each other or talk on the phone.

Today, I will be at the top of a mountain in Steamboat Springs with my love and my ski friends. We will enjoy the beauty of this world from high on the hilltop. Even though it will be cold and snowy, we will appreciate the view, and we will thank God that we are physically able to ski down a mountain.

us on the moutain

Whatever you decide to do today, let your heart be filled with love. Love yourself, love your partner, and love this life. We are only here for a little while so enjoy yourself!

Happy Valentine’s Day my friends!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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