I know sometimes it’s hard to just be happy, but being mad, holding grudges, and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t the way to live. Life is so short. Do your best to live this life as happily as you can.
It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive.
~ Power of Positivity
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Isn’t it interesting how people act? I have always loved people watching, but I guess I never really thought about why they act the way they do or say the things they say. Lately, I have been more intrigued by the why of people’s actions. Through therapy, I have learned that many times when people say or do hurtful things, it has more to do with them and their internal struggles than actually with me. It is hard at times, but I have learned that their words and actions cannot hurt me if I don’t let them.
For example, I heard the other day someone say my husband and I were not good caregivers to Gram. Wow. Can you believe that? It’s actually pretty comical. I guess it did stop me in my tracks for a second. I had a few responses forming in my head of what I really wanted to say to this person. But I took a deep breath and decided if that person is that unhappy that she has to tell tall tales then she doesn’t deserve a reaction from me. I decided her words can’t hurt me. I know that we took the best care of Gram and that Gram was grateful for every minute. Honestly, I feel sad for this person. To be so miserable that you need to talk behind someone’s back must be an awful way to live. I hope she can find peace and happiness somehow.
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I have another friend who has had some family issues in the past and the last straw was when her sibling went to jail. She has a good job and the family has asked for money, which she has given in the past but it did not help. It was not spent in the way it was asked. She has decided to try to help in other ways. Just sending money doesn’t really do anyone any good, especially when they have used that money in the past for ill intent. Her family disagrees with this decision and doesn’t appreciate the other actions she is taking. The other thing that hurts is the family members calling and asking for money is the only communication my friend receives. Does the family call to see how she is doing? Does the family call just to chat? Does the family call to check on her kids or grandkids? Well, the answer is no.
Does this hurt my friend’s feelings? Of course, it does. But should it? No. My friend is a wonderful, loving, and generous person. She wants to be more than a bank but for some reason, her family does not see her that way. It is not my friend’s fault, and even though it’s hard she needs to realize she is doing what is best for her (and probably for the family). If her family cannot see that she cares about them without giving them money then that is their loss. Yes, it is easier said than done, especially with family. You want to be a part of your family. You want to smile and laugh with them. You want to have a great relationship with them. But if you don’t act the way they demand or request, they make you out to be “the bad guy”, which is so sad.
It can be hard when some family members make more money than others. Some people feel that the one that makes more needs to give more to the others. Hmm, is this true? Is this the way it should be? Because you worked hard and sacrificed to achieve a great career you need to support others who made different choices, sometimes poor choices. We all have free will. Yes, maybe some people’s career choices are more lucrative than others, and that’s what makes the world go round. I chose the education field as my profession. Did I think I would get rich from teaching? Not in the money sense. But I made good choices with the money I made. I had a stable job and great benefits. I was able to own my own house and car and was able to do the activities I wanted to do. I didn’t live beyond my means, and yes, sometimes I made the choice to give up a few luxuries. But in the end that allowed me to save money to spend on travel which was my true passion.
So why is it that if you don’t behave the way your family wants you to they talk behind your back? Why do they try to get everyone on their side because of something you did or didn’t do? And why if they are hurt can’t they pick up the phone and have an adult conversation about their feelings with you? I don’t quite understand why people feel it is ok to say terrible things behind someone’s back but then smile at them the next time they see them and pretend nothing is wrong. And why just pretend? Why not have a real conversation? Don’t people want to know both sides of the story?
What I think might be happening is that my friend and I are happy. We have great relationships with our husbands, wonderful kids, and great friends. We live life, and we have fun. I think others see this on social media, and then they get jealous because they themselves are not happy. They don’t have a happy life or marriage. They don’t have good friends surrounding them. So, therefore, instead of being supportive and happy they spew hate and hurtful words. I am not sure why. Why not be happy for and proud of that family member who has found success and happiness? I understand being envious but why write that person off instead of enjoying them and their success? I just don’t understand.
It is funny when people make assumptions based on social media. Some people put all their drama on there, positive or negative. Whatever you do, it is your choice. I would think most people know that social media isn’t the whole story. Yes, my friend and I have amazing times together and with other friends, but do we have days when we are down? Do we have stress at work or with other family members? Do we have difficult decisions to make? Of course! We don’t post every feeling we have every day. EVERYONE has struggles. EVERYONE deals with those struggles differently. Decide how you want to react.
I understand some people get caught up in addiction whether it be drugs or alcohol. Therefore, it is hard to make good life choices. They spend their money on the addiction instead of getting a better car, taking a trip or even paying their bills. Life is all about making choices. And with those choices come consequences. I can make the choice to drink and drive, or I can make the choice to drink and take an Uber. If I decided to drink and drive and got pulled over then I would need to suffer the consequences of those actions. It would be nobody’s fault but my own.
It is not fair to lay blame on others because you are unhappy. What you need to do is reevaluate your life. Reinvent yourself. Make better choices. Make choices that make you happy. You cannot rely on anyone else anything for happiness. Happiness is within you. You have the opportunity to spread kindness. You can spread good karma and that karma will come back around on you. Make good choices and spread the love!
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For those who are in this position with ungrateful friends or family members, keep your head up. Live life to the fullest and don’t let others deflate your balloon. Hopefully, they will find their way. If not, let them live in their sad, depressed world. You be You.
Cover photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Today marks two years since we lost Sweet Gram. I miss her and her beautiful smile so much. If you have been following my blog you know that I posted a letter to Gram that ended up being spread out over four different posts. I guess I had a lot to say to her! That was my way to help myself on my grief journey. My therapist also suggested that I write a letter to myself as if it were written by Gram. My therapist thought it would be helpful for me to hear what Gram might have to say. So here goes. My version of a letter from Gram and what it may be like there in Heaven.
My Dearest Stacy,
I am beyond devastated to hear these words in your letter. I am so sorry that you are struggling to this extent. As much as I wish I was there with you on Earth, I am having the most magical time here in Heaven.
You see in Heaven I am young again, just like when I always told you I felt 22. My body has no aches or pains. My skin is wrinkle-free and my hair is blond and beautiful as it always was. I have reconnected with all of my lost loved ones. Both of my brothers and my parents are here. I visit them on the old family farm from time to time, and we lay on hay bails and look at the clouds in the sky.
My best friend, Dorothy, is here. So many nights we have sat up laughing and reminiscing about all of the mischiefs we used to get into. We talk about the nights we drove to Pittsburgh and all of the young men we were enamored with before we met the “ones”.
My son, Stanley, is here. He looks so good. He, too, is happy. He is sorry that he didn’t get a chance to tell us all goodbye because the aneurysm took him so quickly. But much to my relief, it happened so fast that he didn’t feel any pain. He wants to thank you for making the effort to spend time with your cousin, his daughter, and my granddaughter while we traveled up and down the east coast. He hopes you will see more of her in the future. She is a great mother, and he is so proud of his grandchildren and what wonderful young people they are becoming.
Your grandpa is here. He can’t believe everything you made me do but he knew deep down that I could keep up. He wants me to pass along the message that he is so proud of you. He is proud of you for sticking in the education field. He is proud of you for sticking it out until you met the man of your dreams. He is proud of you for doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. He is proud of you for everything that you did for me even though he was terrified the day you took me to hike Cooper’s Rock!
Your grandpa and I go dancing every Saturday night. We sing in the choir on Sunday mornings and at various events here in Heaven. We eat dinner with your dad and sister every Sunday like we used to. We have seats saved for all of you at the table but we know you have a purpose to fulfill there on Earth so we wait. We get to see what you are doing every day hence we don’t miss a thing. And if you look closely we send you signs that we are right there by your side.
Your sister is struggling the most. Although her body is not ravaged by cancer anymore, she misses being there with her kiddos. She is glad that you visit them as much as you can and thinks you are a good influence on them. Keep sharing your life with them. They are growing up into the most precious little beings. She is proud of how athletic and smart they are. Although she hates not being there by their side, she is glad that everyone is so happy. She sees joy in the kids’ eyes and is glad the kids have so many supportive people in their lives who love them so much. She is happy that her husband has found someone to share his life with. It is good for the kids to see their dad happy. Your sister is beyond grateful that your mom has been there to watch them grow up and to help them with any daily struggles.
Your dad, Marvin, and Patty are acting like the foolish party animals they were in high school. They are having a ball. They sit around campfires and talk about the good ole days. Marvin realizes that he made a few mistakes and wishes things would have been different. He is proud of his three boys and the men they have become. Patty, like your sister, struggles that she had to go to Heaven when she was so young. How she wishes she was there when her boys hit all of their milestones. She sees their struggles and hopes they feel her presence because she is right beside them every day. How she wishes things were different but she understands it wasn’t meant to be.
Stacy, please do not beat yourself up about the last few months of my life. My body was tired. My mind was getting frail. I enjoyed those last five years with you and Jeff more than you could ever know. Traveling up and down the east coast with you was the best time of my life. I actually think I flew with you more in my last 5 years than in my first 91. I loved how we got to see family and friends. Thank you for taking me along with you. You have amazing people in your life. The fact that ALL of them welcomed me into their homes was a blessing. I never wanted to be a burden on you or your friends. I know many times I didn’t want to stay but it was only because I didn’t want to embarrass you or myself. I’ve told you time and time again “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old!”
In conclusion, please know that I love and miss you more than words can say, but I will wait to see you until your work on Earth is done. Family is very important and you have so much to give, but always remember you need to take care of yourself first. Life is short even if you do get to turn 96 so smile, laugh, inspire, and live the life you are meant to live.
Love, Gram
There you have it. My version of what Gram might say. Remember life is short so LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE with all you have. Fill your heart and your time with those people who fulfill you and fill your spirit. Let go of those who bring you down and deflate you. Life is meant to be lived so live it to the fullest!
Yes, change can be scary but put your fears away and take that chance. Learn to embrace change and evolve into a new you.
“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.”
—Mandy Hale
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
I have written a few posts about my husband, My Prince, My Rock, and My Valentine. As you know relationships, especially marriages are not perfect. They take work and communication, and sometimes therapy. But relationships are what make the world go round. They are what makes this life worth living. They are how we learn about love, compromise, and decision-making. Relationships are how we grow and learn throughout our lives. Even though our marriage is not perfect, Jeff and I are dedicated to making it the most adventurous, beautiful ride we can. We believe we need to grow and learn together. We need to support each other on whatever adventures come our way!
This Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to tell someone you love how much they mean to you. Whether it’s a spouse, a significant other, a best friend, or just someone who once meant something to you. Take a few moments to send them a message about how much you care.
Valentine’s Day can be lonely for many people. It can make people who are single feel sad because they are alone and don’t have a Valentine. It can make couples feel pressure to go to dinner or spend too much money on roses that are overpriced. It can make people in relationships disappointed if their loved one doesn’t remember the holiday. Whatever this Day means to you, try to remember you don’t need to be sad, lonely, or disappointed. Love is all around you. And the first person you should love is yourself.
Maybe today you take some time to pamper yourself. Maybe you take a nice, hot bubble bath. Maybe you get dressed up and treat yourself to a nice dinner out. Maybe you go to your garden and pick yourself a bouquet of flowers. Maybe you draw or paint a picture. Whatever your passion, do something for yourself.
If you are in a relationship, spend some quality time with your loved one. Turn off the TV. Turn off the phone. Spend some time focusing on each other with no distractions. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or do anything fancy. Maybe play cards or play a game. Maybe read to each other or take a walk in a park. Whatever you do make time for one another.
Maybe today you get together with your friends. Maybe you go see a movie or watch a movie on Netlflix. Maybe you and a friend go for a walk or make dinner together. Maybe you aren’t in the same town so take a moment to FaceTime each other or talk on the phone.
Today, I will be at the top of a mountain in Steamboat Springs with my love and my ski friends. We will enjoy the beauty of this world from high on the hilltop. Even though it will be cold and snowy, we will appreciate the view, and we will thank God that we are physically able to ski down a mountain.
Whatever you decide to do today, let your heart be filled with love. Love yourself, love your partner, and love this life. We are only here for a little while so enjoy yourself!
Life is meant to be lived so live it! Don’t do the same thing over and over. Go on an adventure! Take chances! Take the leap and do something different! Life is short. Live it!
“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”
—Robin Sharma
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Life is a crazy ride and you are driving. Where do you want to go? How do you want to live? You have the power to decide and make the necessary changes to get you there.
“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.”
―Germany Kent
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It’s a new year. What do you want yours to look like? Are you happy where you are? Would you like to try something new? Then take the chance, make the changes, and change your story.
“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”
—Alex Morritt
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash
Even though I grew up around the game of golf, I was never much interested in playing the sport. My whole family golfed including the women. I felt like the day was too long, it was too hard, and there wasn’t enough action for me. My grandfather ran a golf tournament all of my life. I got involved in selling candy bars at the tournament when I was in second grade. Then my sister and I became the beer girls and eventually, I ran the thing when he passed away.
Last month, I had a wonderful experience. I went to a networking group in Florida called #LEGS (Ladies Executive Golf Society). It’s all about women meeting women and learning a new skill, golf! My friend, Karen, introduced me to this group, and I felt like I was exactly in the right place at the right time. Tonight, we meet again, and we are learning how to putt before we socialize and learn more about each other. I can’t wait! The last time I went I left feeling excited and hopeful. I hope this organization continues to grow in the Fort Myers area. And I hope I can attend many more of these events!
#LEGS was started for women by women. Its vision is to empower women to try new things, build relationships, foster growth in communities, and have fun! If you think about it, many men develop business relationships and networking connections on the golf course whether they are any good at the sport or not. As women, we don’t always take that step to try something new, especially something as challenging and overwhelming as golf. #LEGS is trying to change that by giving us the confidence to step on the golf course and support other women in the community. Let’s get more women out on the golf course!
Whether you are into golf and whether you work or not, I highly suggest coming to at least one event. The events are posted on the website and occur once a month. Golf is just a tiny piece of what the group is all about and part of the event registration fee goes to a local charity. The one in Fort Myers is called Valerie’s House which is a nonprofit dedicated to helping children on their journey of grief after losing a parent or sibling.
There are #LEGS chapters in six cities in Florida, but the founder is always looking to expand. If you are willing to start a chapter in your area contact Jillian Foss at ladiesexecutivegolfsociety@gmail.com. If you are in the Fort Myers area, please sign up and take a chance at this event. Come meet other women and learn a new skill. There is still time to sign up for tonight’s event at Eastwood Country Club. See you there!
Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash
Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! My message to you is to get out there, start living, and make things happen! Jeff and I celebrated our three-year anniversary New Year’s Eve. As we take a few moments to look back on our years together, we realize that we have had a lot of fun, we have supported each other through good and bad times, we have lost some family members, and we have gained new ones. We realize that each new year is it healthy to get rid of toxic relationships and even though it’s hard, sometimes it has to be done.
This year we are concentrating on our physical and mental health. As healthy decisions as we make there are always ways to make better, healthier choices. We need to realize that no matter what we do we are not going to make everyone happy. Someone is always going to have something negative to say about us. And as much as we want people to be happy, we realize that people have to create their own happiness and it is not up to us.
“Stop doing things that don’t fulfill you, stop blaming others for your problems and stop thinking life owes you something because it doesn’t. If you want your life to get better than start living like it.”
This past weekend my husband left for a two-week trip. When he’s gone I have a bit more time to work on my blog. Before he left I realized my computer was getting full. I don’t know what I do with electronics like my phone and computer but somehow they get full, and I don’t know what to delete to create some space.
After he left the first thing on my agenda was to try to create some room on my computer. I started with my Gmail account. I had over 800 emails in my inbox. Most of them read but still sat there. About 400 of them had my sister’s name attached so I felt like I needed to keep them.
As I went through I found a few quotes for my Weekly Wednesday Words. I also deleted many of them and then put hundreds more into a folder. At least I would still have my sister’s words when I wanted them. I got down to about 80 in my inbox. What an accomplishment! I found this article by Becca Martin that I sent to myself in March 2017.
This article is so inspiring. I love everything that she says. Our lives are meant to be lived to the fullest. If you want to sit there and make excuses then you will never meet any of your goals. You need to work hard and you need to take chances. Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your own actions.
If you think the world is out to get you it’s because you have a shit attitude towards life – you’re looking at everything the wrong way. You’re using the negatives to fuel you instead of the positives. You’re letting the negatives control your mind and in turn you’re allowing them control of your life. You’re letting the bad things win.
She says so many things that I feel my blog is all about. If you aren’t happy with your life, take the chance and change it. If you want to travel, buy the ticket and go. Quit making excuses and quit blaming others.
Life doesn’t owe you or anyone else anything, so don’t expect it to. Don’t expect a million dollars to show up at your door, don’t expect to wake up with a rocking body, don’t expect to get your dream job if you don’t ever put work into it.
Read this article over and over again. It’s a new year and can be a new you! Don’t ever give up on your hopes and dreams but you are the one who needs to make them happen.
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