It’s a new year. What do you want yours to look like? Are you happy where you are? Would you like to try something new? Then take the chance, make the changes, and change your story.
“New year—a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.”
—Alex Morritt
Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash
Even though I grew up around the game of golf, I was never much interested in playing the sport. My whole family golfed including the women. I felt like the day was too long, it was too hard, and there wasn’t enough action for me. My grandfather ran a golf tournament all of my life. I got involved in selling candy bars at the tournament when I was in second grade. Then my sister and I became the beer girls and eventually, I ran the thing when he passed away.
Last month, I had a wonderful experience. I went to a networking group in Florida called #LEGS (Ladies Executive Golf Society). It’s all about women meeting women and learning a new skill, golf! My friend, Karen, introduced me to this group, and I felt like I was exactly in the right place at the right time. Tonight, we meet again, and we are learning how to putt before we socialize and learn more about each other. I can’t wait! The last time I went I left feeling excited and hopeful. I hope this organization continues to grow in the Fort Myers area. And I hope I can attend many more of these events!
#LEGS was started for women by women. Its vision is to empower women to try new things, build relationships, foster growth in communities, and have fun! If you think about it, many men develop business relationships and networking connections on the golf course whether they are any good at the sport or not. As women, we don’t always take that step to try something new, especially something as challenging and overwhelming as golf. #LEGS is trying to change that by giving us the confidence to step on the golf course and support other women in the community. Let’s get more women out on the golf course!
Whether you are into golf and whether you work or not, I highly suggest coming to at least one event. The events are posted on the website and occur once a month. Golf is just a tiny piece of what the group is all about and part of the event registration fee goes to a local charity. The one in Fort Myers is called Valerie’s House which is a nonprofit dedicated to helping children on their journey of grief after losing a parent or sibling.
There are #LEGS chapters in six cities in Florida, but the founder is always looking to expand. If you are willing to start a chapter in your area contact Jillian Foss at ladiesexecutivegolfsociety@gmail.com. If you are in the Fort Myers area, please sign up and take a chance at this event. Come meet other women and learn a new skill. There is still time to sign up for tonight’s event at Eastwood Country Club. See you there!
Photo by Courtney Cook on Unsplash
Happy New Year and welcome to 2023! My message to you is to get out there, start living, and make things happen! Jeff and I celebrated our three-year anniversary New Year’s Eve. As we take a few moments to look back on our years together, we realize that we have had a lot of fun, we have supported each other through good and bad times, we have lost some family members, and we have gained new ones. We realize that each new year is it healthy to get rid of toxic relationships and even though it’s hard, sometimes it has to be done.
This year we are concentrating on our physical and mental health. As healthy decisions as we make there are always ways to make better, healthier choices. We need to realize that no matter what we do we are not going to make everyone happy. Someone is always going to have something negative to say about us. And as much as we want people to be happy, we realize that people have to create their own happiness and it is not up to us.
“Stop doing things that don’t fulfill you, stop blaming others for your problems and stop thinking life owes you something because it doesn’t. If you want your life to get better than start living like it.”
This past weekend my husband left for a two-week trip. When he’s gone I have a bit more time to work on my blog. Before he left I realized my computer was getting full. I don’t know what I do with electronics like my phone and computer but somehow they get full, and I don’t know what to delete to create some space.
After he left the first thing on my agenda was to try to create some room on my computer. I started with my Gmail account. I had over 800 emails in my inbox. Most of them read but still sat there. About 400 of them had my sister’s name attached so I felt like I needed to keep them.
As I went through I found a few quotes for my Weekly Wednesday Words. I also deleted many of them and then put hundreds more into a folder. At least I would still have my sister’s words when I wanted them. I got down to about 80 in my inbox. What an accomplishment! I found this article by Becca Martin that I sent to myself in March 2017.
This article is so inspiring. I love everything that she says. Our lives are meant to be lived to the fullest. If you want to sit there and make excuses then you will never meet any of your goals. You need to work hard and you need to take chances. Quit blaming others and take responsibility for your own actions.
If you think the world is out to get you it’s because you have a shit attitude towards life – you’re looking at everything the wrong way. You’re using the negatives to fuel you instead of the positives. You’re letting the negatives control your mind and in turn you’re allowing them control of your life. You’re letting the bad things win.
She says so many things that I feel my blog is all about. If you aren’t happy with your life, take the chance and change it. If you want to travel, buy the ticket and go. Quit making excuses and quit blaming others.
Life doesn’t owe you or anyone else anything, so don’t expect it to. Don’t expect a million dollars to show up at your door, don’t expect to wake up with a rocking body, don’t expect to get your dream job if you don’t ever put work into it.
Read this article over and over again. It’s a new year and can be a new you! Don’t ever give up on your hopes and dreams but you are the one who needs to make them happen.
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Last year I wrote a post called “Letter from Above.” A friend told me I should republish it every year around the holidays so I thought I would remind you to check it out. Click on the link above and it will take you back to my letter. I hope it gives you a sense of peace as we embark on this holiday season. Even though the holidays are a beautiful time of year, they also can be very painful for some people who have suffered severe loss. I hope that you have the support you need to get through this season with a smile on your beautiful face and a light of hope in your heart.
As I was wasting time on Facebook the other day, I saw this letter that someone else shared. I also kept the links that will take you to their pages. I thought both of these women were very inspirational. I hope you take some time to scroll through their pages. Just reading a few of their posts made me feel better about myself, my journey, and the losses I have suffered. I hope they do the same for you.
Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash
What is about a high five that makes you feel so good? The high five is a hand gesture where two people raise their hands and slap palms, usually in regard to a celebration or congratulations.
When playing sports and your teammate scores or makes a great play you give them a high five. I played basketball and softball and getting a high five when I made a basket or scored a run was so rewarding. It gives you such a good feeling. One because you did something great for your team and two you get some recognition from your coach or teammates. Even sometimes when things go wrong, getting high five can give you a little pick me up to get motivated to do something better.
I grew up in a family that loved playing and watching sports. As you know, my grandfather was the coach for our local college team. He also coached my friends and me growing up. He was so passionate about the local sports team and all of the Pittsburgh professional teams but especially the Steelers. Therefore, I learned at a very young age about celebrations and letdowns when our team won or lost. I also learned very early how sports fans are very superstitious. If my grandparents gave their Steelers tickets away to someone else, he said the rule was if they lost you weren’t allowed to go back to another game! If they were on the road, Gramps spent a lot of time in his bedroom NOT watching the game because he felt every time he watched they played terribly. Isn’t it funny how much we believe in these things?? Like do they really have any impact on the outcome of a game?
This past Sunday, we watched the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the New Orleans Saints. It was a big day for high fives because our team was playing really well which made us Steelers fans very happy. My prince and I are spending a month in Wilmington, NC. We are enjoying the beach, the breweries, and quality time with my best friend and her family. Even though she is a Browns fan, her husband is a huge Steelers fan. Therefore, we were very happy to high-five each other during the game as the Steelers made great plays!
Even though the Browns and Broncos lost (my husband’s team), the Steelers fans enjoyed the evening giving high fives and relishing the win in our 3-7 season. And you better believe that as true Steelers fans we still think we can win out the season and make the playoffs. I mean why not?
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Yesterday my dad would have turned 71. He has been gone 10 years meaning he was only 60 years old when cancer took him from us. It is hard to believe he’s been gone that long. We miss him every day and wish he was here to spend time with us and his grandchildren. He would have such a blast watching them play softball and baseball.
My dad fought lung cancer for 9 years. Again, it’s hard to believe that he was only 51 years old when his battle began. I was in my twenties when it started. He wasn’t old but it seemed he had lived a lot of life. Now that I am four years away from being 50 I realize how young he was and how much of life there was still to live.
I have said it before but the lesson learned from him passing away so young was that I promised myself I would live life to the fullest. I was going to be a Yes Girl! I was going to be responsible with my money but also spend what was needed to travel and see the world as much as I could. I was going to enjoy myself and be as happy as possible. Back in my twenties and thirties, I was probably also a little more daring about how risky I was going to live this life! Oh, how times have changed.
Now in my forties, I have much more freedom from a work schedule to live life to the fullest, but my mind and fear also get in the way of doing things that 10 years ago I wouldn’t have thought twice about doing. I also met my Rock who enjoys life as much as I do. Sometimes I think we have too much fun but I think that’s better than not enjoying life at all.
So today I just wanted to give a shout-out to my dad up there in Heaven. I hope you all celebrated with a nice big campfire. I hope you had a shot and beer. And I hope you keep looking down on all of us and know we are living our lives to the fullest because of you. Love and miss you, Dad.
Two weeks ago, I went to one of my best friend’s daughter’s wedding at the beach. It’s hard to believe my friends’ children are now old enough to be getting married. But I guess the older they get the older we get. How can it be??
There are four of us from my home town who are very close. We have known each other since Kindergarten, and we have kept in touch throughout the years. Even though our paths have gone different ways when we get together it’s like nothing has changed. And honestly, even though it’s been 28 years since we graduated high school I still feel like we all look and act the same! So how any of us have young adult children is beyond me.
When I moved back to my hometown in 2016 I had the pleasure of coaching two of my best friends’ daughters in softball. It was a lot of fun to get to know my friends again and to get to know their mini me’s. I am so proud of them for raising such wonderful kids. Their children are happy, confident, and funny. I know they had hard times and probably thought they would lose it now and again, but I hope they feel a sense of accomplishment and hope for their little ones. I feel like their children are some of the sweetest, smartest, and most compassionate people I know. And hopefully, my friends know it’s because of the hard work they put in. And I like that the kids like to hang out with us! (Even if we embarrass them a time or two!)
It’s amazing how fast time goes! I remember when they were born! And now they are growing up and starting their adult lives. I am beyond happy for all of them.
The wedding was in Sandbridge, Virginia. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend. The sky was breathtaking and the pictures were amazing. The bridal party and families stayed in a huge house right on the beach. We stayed in another one called the “Stupa.” A few other family members stayed close by. It was such a nice relaxing weekend. (For us anyway:))
I also realized as old as we get, we will probably never grow up. We had so much fun at the reception around the pool that evening. We sang we danced, we laughed, we gasped when the “kids” played some songs with some very shocking lyrics, and we even shed some tears. One of my friends and I sang one of our favorites by the Jets called “Crush on You“. Everyone must have been a little tipsy because no one told us how awful we sounded! We knew every word by heart and decided we need to repeat the performance at the hometown reception later in October. We might even add some dance moves.
I can’t say enough how much I appreciate these friendships with these amazing women. We have been there for each other through thick and thin. We have suffered loss, had health scares, had weddings, and been through divorces. There is no one I would rather do it with than these three. Love you, ladies!
Do you ever wonder why some people seem to thrive on drama? They want to be in the middle of it ALL THE TIME! Why? Drama, according to the Urban Dictionary means “creating unnecessary stress about unimportant things. Making a mountain of a mole hill to get attention.” So why do people do this?
It seems people create unnecessary drama to make their lives more exciting. People feel lonely, and they want to be involved, even when it’s none of their business. They feel they can share their experiences even if they have never experienced the situation before. They want to give their advice or have people feel sorry for them when things don’t quite go their way. I feel this quote sums it up pretty well.
It seems that people who love and create drama are never quite happy with things around them. And even when there are reasons to be happy, they sabotage and self-sabotage until the relationship, the workplace, the circumstance looks like the preferred environment of chaos they have in their head.
The biggest problem with drama kings and queens is they want to pull everyone, including you into their drama. They need others involved to feel the excitement. It’s like a drug. They need the rush. They also don’t want others to be happy. They want it to be about them. They have no interest in appreciating others or what they are going through.
So what can you do when you have friends or family members who LOVE drama? The first rule of advice is to stay calm. And at first, that family member may resent you. They may say you don’t care because you aren’t getting involved. But for your own physical and mental health, it’s better to be criticized and stay out of the situation. Eventually, they will not involve you in the drama anymore. Here are 8 Strategies to Avoid Other People’s Drama by Sharon Martin.
Although it is difficult to remain drama-free, there are steps you can take to minimize the drama in your life. Stay positive. Everyone is on a different journey. Embrace your journey and if you don’t like the path you are on, then change it. Isn’t it easier to support each other than to tear each other down?
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Grief although lessens with time it never truly goes away. You just have to learn to continue to live. And live life to the fullest because you never know when the gift of life will be taken away.
Grief is like glitter. You can throw a handful of glitter into the air, but when you try to clean it up, you’ll never get it all. Even long after the event, you will still find glitter tucked into corners, it will always be there – somewhere.
~ unknown
My sister has been gone a little over four years now. A few months ago, my mom ordered a headstone for her to lie next to that of my dad, uncle and grandparents . My mom still struggles as you can imagine. She wanted the headstone to be placed in the cemetary in our small town in Northwestern Pennsylvania. She wanted a resting spot for her little girl near her when she is laid to rest. And she wanted to have a little memorial to honor her.
After a few design ideas, my mom ordered a headstone. She put my sister’s husband’s name on it as well since they were married when she passed. Whether their children will bury any of his ashes there beside my sister is up to them. But for now, there is a piece of her where people can go and say hello.
The headstone was placed this summer. My mom lives in Virginia so she decided to have a little memorial in August (my sister’s birthday month) to bury some of her ashes at the gravesite. That weekend she also decided to organize a golf outing for my dad’s side of the family.
The weekend ended up being absolutely wonderful. My mom came in Thursday, and we had some fun times together shopping and getting things ready for the weekend. On Friday, my hubby came home, and we went up to the gravesite to dig holes and clean the graves. I kept asking my mom if she was ready for the memorial and knew what she was going to say. She said, “I am just winging it!” I said, “Ok.” I am not good at speaking in front of people so I knew I needed to write some thoughts down.
Later that evening my mom’s best friend since first grade come to the house and spent the night. We also had some family friends over for a campfire. We shared many memories of my sister, my dad, my mom’s best friend’s cousin, and of course sweet Gram. It was a wonderful night of friendship, laughter, and maybe even a tear or two.
The next morning, a lot of my dad’s side of the family and friends of my sister came to the house for brunch. We had eggs, bacon, and French toast casserole. Of course, since it was my dad’s side of the family we also had mimosas and Bloody Marys. I did a slideshow of my sister and had it playing on the TV. One of my sister’s best friends brought her yearbooks and some old pictures of her. It was wonderful to see her cute little face.
After brunch, we all headed to the cemetery. In front of family and the very best of friends, my mom gave her tribute. She talked about why she needed to do this and what it all meant for her. Along with burying some of my sister’s ashes, she also buried Kuma, the cat, near Gram, and our other family cat, Ciaty, near my dad. She thought she would lose it as she talked about her daughter and how much she misses her every day. But she held it together for the most part and gave a wonderful speech.
I spoke next, and I am not sure I kept it together very well. But I said what I wanted to. My sister’s godmother went next and then some other friends and family shared a few memories of my little sis. There were tears and there was laughter.
My sister had the biggest heart and the most heart-warming smile. Hearing the memories of others made my heart happy. Being surrounded by our wonderful family and friends made me realize how many people’s lives she touched. I also realized even though she isn’t here anymore she will never be forgotten.
Up on the hill that Saturday morning, although sad, it was peaceful. It left me with hope for our family. Just look at the pictures that were taken on that beautiful morning. It truly shows there are so many signs from heaven and that ALL of our heavenly family was there with us that beautiful Saturday morning.
Thank you, mom, for putting this wonderful memorial weekend together. Although you will never forget and some of the pain will never go away, I hope you find some peace and closure knowing your little girl is reunited with the family and will be there waiting for you when God decides he needs you, too.