Life is all about making choices. Each day, we can decide if we want to look at the positive aspect or dwell on the negative. Choose wisely.
The life you’re living is the result of decisions you made years ago. The life you’ll live five years from now is being decided by today’s choices. Connect the dots. Today is both a consequence and a cause. Make it count.
~ Positive Vibes
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Happy New Year, my friends! I know it’s been a loooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time since I last posted. I do apologize. Life has been crazy busy but super fun, which hasn’t given me much downtime to write. My New Year’s resolution is to do better.
Speaking of Resolutions, I hope yours are going well if you have started any. Instead of resolutions, My Heart and I go through our year in review as Tim Ferris suggests in his “5 Bullet Fridays“. We go through our calendar and review the events of the past year. What did we do? What trips did we go on? What people did we spend time with? What activities did we do? Did we take care of our health and well-being? What did we enjoy? Would we do it again? What was good and bad? Then we continue down each event and each friend or family member we interacted with. We discuss how we felt about the experience and put it in the positive, negative, or neutral column. Then we try to put the positive things on our calendar for the new year. I think this is a great way to review your year, to open communication with your partner about your likes and dislikes, and determine how you want to move forward together.
If your goal is to be healthier this new year, reread this post from 2022 and take a look under my tab Healthy Habits for easy workouts you can do at home under How We Move, and check out How We Eat for recipes.
If you want to travel, then look at different websites and find great deals, and go where you have always wanted to go. Get your passport, get that airline ticket, go on that cruise. Life is short. Get it on the calendar. Make the sacrifices to save the money so you can go on that Dream Vacation.
If your goal is to spend more quality time at home and with the people you love, then again, make those plans. Figure out how you can meet up with them if you aren’t in the same town. As a family, figure out how you can spend more quality time together. Take one day each week and turn off technology. No phones, no video games, just family time. Make it a game night where you can interact with each other. Movie nights are fun, and there is a time and place for them, but for solid quality time, turn off technology and interact. Ask each other questions, build a puzzle, or play a game. I know we all have a hard time without our phones, but we need to start making an effort to put them away for a day, a night, or an afternoon. Show the kids it’s ok to be out of reach for a few hours.
Well, this post is short and sweet. I wish you a Happy, Healthy New Year and a year full of gratitude. Try to remember life is a blessing. We never know when it will be taken away. Live life to the fullest, tell people you love them, and pass on a smile to a stranger because they may need it.
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Death is not a pretty subject and one not to be taken lightly. I believe my experiences have influenced my life and my thoughts about death; therefore, My Rock and I talk about it quite frequently.
Some people don’t talk about it at all. Some people don’t set up wills or trusts or even have a sheet of paper to help their loved ones maneuver their assets when they die. Although we are young, we understand that death has no time limit and most times no warning. Death comes when your time on Earth is up. It could be a long process or could happen in the blink of an eye. It shows no favoritism.
Therefore, in my opinion, it is important to talk about what you would like to happen when you pass on to Heaven. Do you want a funeral? Do you want to be cremated? Do you want to have a celebration of life? And it may not matter to you, but if you want to make it easier on your loved ones who will be grieving, then start talking about Death to them.
My dad fought lung cancer for nine years. When his lung collapsed, which was about one year before he passed, he said, “Let’s go down to the funeral home.” He planned his own funeral. We knew he wanted to be buried in a Steelers’ sweatshirt, we knew the casket he wanted displayed in, and we knew he wanted to be cremated with some of his ashes made into jewelry so that we could take him with us wherever we went. Therefore, when death came to get him in May of 2012, we were able to grieve. We didn’t have to think or plan. It was already done. We didn’t have to feel guilty that we didn’t know what he wanted. We knew, and for the most part, everything was already done.
Whether or not you have kids. Whether or not you are married or single. Whether or not you have a lot of assets or just a few. My suggestion is to have a person you trust and make sure they know what you want and what you have. Have an envelope or a document with your account numbers and passwords in it so that someone can access your accounts. We live in a digital world now, and everything has a password. Someone needs to know how to get into your phone, your computers, your bills, and your checking accounts. I understand you want your independence and your privacy, but your spouse should really know your passwords and which accounts are where. If you don’t want them to know, then seal it up and make sure they know where the sealed envelope is. If not, it’s going to be a mess. Your family or friends need to be able to get in to help you and get your “stuff” where you want it to go.
My Heart and I went to a concert this summer. I am not sure why it was emotional for me, except for maybe the losses in my life (and maybe menopause?)? Menospause perimenospause, whatever IT is, is CRAZY. And there is nothing you can do.
Anyway, Chris Janson sang a song called Bye Mom. And the woman he called on stage had it played at her mom’s funeral. It made me think of my mom and how small our family is. It made me think of how wasteful it is to disagree and fight with family. It made me think how lucky people are who still have both parents alive. Many of my friends have lost one if not both, and it makes me sad. Even if my mom and I don’t live in the same town, we are still close. I know a lot of what she’d like when her time comes but I don’t know it all. Although the subject may be hard to broach, it is a subject that needs explored. What does your loved one want and how do they want to be remembered?
Even though my husband and I talk about Death frequently and what we want, we also know that as a loved one gets older, it seems the subject is harder to talk about because you assume the older we are, the closer to death we are. Therefore, it is hard to talk about it as you get older and it’s harder to think about as you get older.
It also made me think of my funeral. I don’t have kids, but I have an amazing husband, two wonderful stepsons, a beautiful niece, and a crazy nephew. My Valentine knows what I want. But what if something happens to us together? Is there anyone else who knows? It also made me wonder, what mark do I leave? What songs will be played? Who will spread my ashes to all the countries I haven’t been to yet?
Very often, we don’t think and by all means we don’t talk about it, but what do you want your last party to be?? And if you want something specific, you’d better start telling people about it. Because if they don’t know, who knows what you will end up with??
So if I should go before you, I want my organs donated. I want to be cremated and my ashes spread to every state and country I didn’t get to. I want my family to have the money they need, and then I want it given to my friends and donated to a beautiful cause (if there is any money to be had). I would like people to gather and have a grand old time. Talk about the good old days and the amazing freaking times we had. I hope that is a celebration and not a sad event. And you can cry, but I hope you cry because you are laughing so hard at all the fantastic memories we had together. I want some of my ashes to be buried by my sister (my dad, my uncle, and my grandparents) in our little town of Cambridge Springs. So there you have it, folks, and like Big E Smalls says, if you don’t know, now you know 🙂
I hope that you see that life is short. And when someone’s life is taken too soon and too quickly, it is terribly awful and sad. And yes, if you are close to that person, it can pull you down a long, sad rabbit hole. But if you believe, then you know that that person lived their best life on Earth and that person is about to live the most amazing eternal life in heaven. I am not sure why you would doubt it, but they want you to continue to live your best life on Earth after they are gone.
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I saw this chart on social media and had to share. It’s such a true statement and something to live by. Our trainer at our gym in Pennsylvania always says that nutrition is so much more important than the exercise. You need to find something you like to do to stay active but if you truly want to lose weight you need to focus on nutrition. When I saw the rest of the list, it hit home that the 80/20 rule can be applied to many aspects of life and I think the rule will make your life that much better!
80% Nutrition, 20% exercise
80% listening, 20% talking
80% action, 20% vision
80% giving, 20% receiving
80% effort, 20% ideas
Master the 80%. The 20% will follow.
Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash
This past weekend, My Heart and I spent a few days on a ranch in Norwood, CO, which is just outside Telluride. We were invited by a couple we have known for a few years, but have gotten closer with since our summer, and then move to Park City. They always have a gathering of friends for the July Fourth holiday.
Although My Prince had been away at work, and came home for a day, we decided to pack up the Harley and make the six-hour drive from Park City to Norwood for the Fourth of July instead of staying home. We knew we needed to pack for warm days and cool nights.
Although it was a bit chilly, it was a beautiful ride. We did get rained on for the last 30 minutes, which was a bit miserable. But we made it.
When we got there, everyone was hanging out in the house waiting for the raindrops to go away. Our hosts were welcoming and showed us to our camper. We changed out of our rain gear and started meeting the wonderful people who were there for this Fourth of July celebration.
Finally, the rain stopped, and we were able to hang out by the cabin and the fire. The kids made s’mores and roasted marshmallows. The adults chatted the night away. Finally, it was bedtime.
The next morning, we headed to downtown Telluride for the Fourth of July Parade down Main Street. My Valentine and I rode the bike to town and again saw some amazing views. The town is quaint and straight out of a movie. People lined each side of the road waiting for the parade to start. The highlight that everyone was waiting for would come at noon when the Colorado Air National Guard would do a flyby in their F-16’s. And let me tell you, those jets came out of nowhere! They flew right over Main Street, then up the side of the mountain. It was awesome.
After the parade was over, we headed to the park to find some food and listen to a few bands. It ended up being a beautiful sunny Fourth of July day.
That afternoon, we packed up and headed back to the ranch. We had dinner and gathered around the Cabin again. I was exhausted and soon headed to bed. My need for sleep outweighed my FOMO.
The next morning, we said our goodbyes and headed out on the motorcycle. Our friends suggested a beautiful ride through Rico, CO. It added almost two hours to our trip, but was well worth it. We stopped at the cutest cafe, called Fireweed, which is owned by the daughter of one of our friends. We had a delicious breakfast and continued our journey home through Moab. The views were breathtaking.
Our friends who own the ranch, as well as most of the people we spent the Holiday with, are in the airline industry. What is amazing is how small the airline industry is. We met a woman from Arizona who invited us to her house. We met two more couples from Park City, whom we hope to play golf with and spend more time together this summer. It is amazing how you can meet people and just click.
Although most of these people have had beautiful friendships for 20 years, they welcomed us right in. They made us feel at home. We all shared stories around the campfire as we got to know each other better. We laughed and made memories for years to come.
I hope you realize it’s never too late to meet new friends. It’s never too late to come out of your comfort zone and meet new people. It’s never too late to make new memories. I hope your Independence Day was as special as ours.
Today marks seven years since we lost my sister. I can’t believe she’s been gone that long. Sometimes it’s hard to believe she’s gone at all. I look back at the pictures of the kids, and they are so tiny. How did this happen?
Seven years. So much has changed. And to anyone who has lost someone, time keeps moving on, but sometimes you feel stuck in the same place. Sometimes you can’t get past the hurt and the grief. Sometimes you are just going through the motions, but you’ve lost all sense of feeling and purpose.
Yes, death is a gut punch. It hurts like hell, and you can’t breathe. But somehow you have to work through that grief and live a life your loved one would be proud of.
Seven years. Some days it hurts more than others, and some days you realize that they are right there by your side no matter what. This past weekend, I was in Pennsylvania hanging out in the kitchen with my cousin and some friends. You know you always end up in the kitchen, even though there are plenty of other, more comfortable places to go! But throughout the weekend, there was a parade of cardinals. I believe three females and a male or two. My whole family stopped by to say hello! I couldn’t believe it. Usually, there is one or two that will stop by, but this was amazing!
Even yesterday in Florida, I looked out my window and a red blur flew by. My people are everywhere, and I have to believe they are saying, I may be gone, but I am flying. It is peaceful. It’s time for you to be peaceful, too.
So, little sis, it’s been seven years, and I miss you like crazy. I am so proud to be an aunt, and I love your children like they were my own. They are the best little people, and I know you are guiding them as they grow. Tell everyone hello from us and keep on visiting. It’s my favorite thing.
Friendship. What does it mean to you? My Rock and I have amazing friends as I have stated time and time again. I am not sure why we are so lucky, but we are blessed with the best of friends from our childhood, college years, and adulthood. Even the new people we have met have become the best of friends. We are forever grateful for our amazing friendships.
I am not sure what friendship means to you or if you keep score in your friendships. I hope not. It doesn’t matter who called last or whose turn it is to visit. Just make it work. To me, it is a feeling I get as I meet and get to know people. Maybe I am different but when I make a bond with someone, I feel like it is forever. Even if I don’t talk, text, or communicate with that person on a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis, it is a bond that stands the test of time. I believe we all know that everyone’s lives are super busy. And as friendships grow we need to understand that circumstances change. We can’t expect that person to be there every minute of every day but what we can expect is that each person will make an effort to keep that friendship going in whatever way they can.
According to the Internet and Wikipedia, the following is the definition of friendship. Friendship is a hard concept to put into words and each relationship is like a snowflake…unique and different in its own special way.
“If you look in the dictionary it will tell you that the definition of friendship is a state of being friends; friendly relation, or attachment, to a person, or between persons; affection arising from mutual esteem and goodwill; friendliness; amity; goodwill. That all sounds nice, but it doesn’t cover the fact that a true friendship is a relationship that can survive the test of time and remain unconditional.”
“Friendship for most people is a combination of affection, loyalty, love, respect, and trust. The general traits of a friendship include similar interests, mutual respect, and an attachment to each other, and in order to experience friendship, you need to have true friends. The emotional safety provided by friendship means not having to weigh your thoughts and measure words. True friendship is when someone knows you better than yourself and takes a position in your best interests in a crisis. Friendship goes beyond just sharing time together, and it is long-lasting.”
As we continue on this journey we call life, we need to realize how important friendships are. In my single days, my friends were there to help fill the void of a significant other. I had friends I could count on to go to church with, to play sports with, and to go shopping with. As a single person, you do have to learn to do a lot of life on your own, but with good friends, some tasks can be made easier by sharing them with another human being.
When I met My Pilot, I didn’t know what I was getting into. I knew that I had the best of friends. I didn’t realize that he also had the best of friends. We both keep in touch with friends we have known since elementary school. We keep in touch with friends from college. We keep in touch with friends we met at ski weeks. We keep in touch with people all over the country and the world.
Sometimes it is overwhelming. Sometimes I need a break from all these friendships. Sometimes our social life is too much. But honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love that our friends understand that we may not remember all the life events or their kids’ life events or even names sometimes:) but we love them and will do our best. But when we get together, it will be like no time has passed. I love that we can call friends up at the last minute (and they can call us) and say hey we are coming to town. Are you around? And usually, we are welcome with open arms.
A little over a month ago, we had our Fifth Anniversary Party on New Year’s Eve. We had a weeklong party celebrating with friends from all walks of both of our lives. Sometimes people like to keep their friends separate, but My Love and I both don’t believe that at all. All of our friends are so awesome that they should meet each other and love each other like we love them.
What we found was true. Our friends truly had a wonderful time getting to know each other and spending time together. We even got a note from one of our single flight attendant friends and she said this:
“You attract amazing friends! That’s saying something as I don’t usually enjoy “all couple parties” but yours was absolutely AMAZING!”
We cannot be more appreciative of our beautiful friends. We love and cherish you and your friendships. Count your blessings if you have amazing friends and foster those relationships. If you don’t, then it’s time to let them go and make new amazing friends!
I love being around people who are all there to have a good time. I love not having to worry about what I say. When you are around people who aren’t uptight and don’t take offense to the little things, that’s how you know you’ve found the right people. Surround yourself with these people who make you comfortable enough to be you.
I like when I don’t have to be careful with what I say. That’s when you know you’re with the right people.
Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash
Recently, I had a conversation with a girlfriend about marriage. She told me she wasn’t happy and that she and her husband were having trouble as many couples do. I always feel sad when people are not happy, and I want to figure out how to help them make it better. Life is too short, and I want everyone to enjoy this one shot that we have at it.
I know life is not all sunshine and roses. Life is hard. Things happen and times can suck. We must realize that we can make a difference in our lives. We have control of our careers, where we live, what we do, and who we do it with. If you haven’t already, sit down with your partner and look at your year in review. What did you enjoy doing and who did you enjoy doing those things with? This is also a perfect time to review your relationship. What went well and what can you make better? It’s not a time to point fingers, but a time to reflect and build.
Because you are unhappy, I don’t think you should give up on your partner. Relationships are hard. You fell in love at some point. You enjoyed each other’s company in the past. The question is, how do you get back into the “love bubble?”
I was unhappy in a previous marriage and decided to get divorced. I believe we both tried, but in the end, we were good people who weren’t good together. We didn’t know how to communicate, and we hurt each other with broken promises.
Although nothing is perfect, I do believe I found the perfect person for me. He stole my heart with his love for Sweet Gram. He makes our partnership amazing by doing the little things like making me coffee every morning. He also knows relationships take work, and we agree that we want ours to be 100 percent amazing. And we have fun together. We focus on the positive. We look out for each other.
I’ve written in the past about how people say opposites attract and many marriages work on that principle. My Rock and I are anything but opposite. And it works for us. Sometimes we both get overwhelmed with our Never Home lifestyle but usually, we just need a day or two of downtime or a “therapy session” (as I like to call it), and we are back at it. We also have had our issues, but we have been able to talk them out and make it better. I finally learned that I needed to quit bringing up old issues. We would talk about them then I would continue on my rant weeks or months later. It wasn’t fair to him or to me to keep bringing up the same old issue. Finally, we both realized the best way to handle it was to be honest about our feelings and to put the issue to rest.
I do believe there are things you can do to make your marriage better if you are struggling. I also believe it takes two people and 100 percent effort. It takes complete honesty to make a marriage better.
If you are struggling in your relationship, please have a sit-down, uninterrupted, no cell phones, no TV, eye-to-eye honest conversation. Decide if you want to move forward, make it better, and have fun in life. Decide what you have to do to get there. Decide what compromises you EACH have to make to bring your relationship back to a happy one. I think the best thing for our relationship was that we started with a long-distance courtship. We had to communicate our feelings through email, phone calls, and text messages. We used the love language of words of affirmation for the first year of our relationship and would email each other “why we liked each other”. We also would state whether or not we wanted to continue our relationship. We would write what we liked or didn’t like about our relationship at the time. It was a great foundation that we continue to use every new year to check in. We talk about what we like, what we don’t like, and how we can make our marriage better.
Again, I am no expert but I believe these are a few things you can try before you let the relationship go:
Relationships take work, commitment, honesty, and effort. Work on yourself first. Admit your faults. Then work on lifting up your partner. There are enough people in this world who will put you down. Work on making your relationship the best it can be. Work on making it a relationship that people look up to. Work on making it the happiest relationship you can have where both of your needs are being met. And don’t forget to check in with each from time to time and figure out how to make it better! And how to make it fun!
I saw this post on Facebook the other day and had to repost it on my blog. Sometimes I think we wait too long. We wait for someone to invite us to the party. We wait for someone to go with us to the concert. We wait for someone to make us happy. We need to stop waiting and make things happen for ourselves. Take the trip, go to the concert, explore the world alone, and create your own happiness.
Stop waiting. Travel solo, go to the concert alone, take yourself out to dinner, explore your own city. and stop waiting for other people to give you permission to do the things you want to do.
Photo by Stephen Harlan on Unsplash