We need to always do our best. Whatever our task is give it your best effort. Why go through tasks halfway? Put your best effort into everything you do. When you know what to expect than you can always do 1% better every day.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”
— Maya Angelou
Friendships come in all shapes and sizes. They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. As you have read, my husband and I are truly blessed with amazing friends and family. We love all of you, but today, I want to talk about one special couple who inspired me to take chances.
“True friendship resists time, distance and silence”
A few weeks ago My Rock and I made our annual road trip from Pennsylvania back to Florida. We stayed with a couple that we usually stay with up and down the coast. I have known him since I was five years old and her since I was in sixth grade. My Prince just met them in 2017 and luckily everyone gets along very well, probably too well (lol). Even though we live 5 hours away from each other, and only get together a few times a year, when we get together it is so easy. I leave every weekend with them with my cheeks hurting from the smiling, laughter, and shenanigans we end up getting into. These weekends are absolutely some of my favorite times.
I reconnected with the couple after a pretty long hiatus because we both moved away from our small town. The story is one of randomness and chance happenings. My mom was driving my grandparents home from their condo in Fort Myers to Pennsylvania when their car broke down in northern Florida. They decided to rent a car in Florida and drive to my sister and me in Virginia. Once the repairs were done, someone had to go back to Florida to get the car.
Even though I hadn’t talked to my childhood friends in a long time, we were from the same small town. We had been good friends back then because our parents were friends, too. To me, we had a bond and it didn’t matter how long it had been since we had talked. I asked if we could stay with them for a night to break up the trip while my mom and I headed back to Florida to get this car. They kindly opened their house to us.
We reconnected as if no time had passed. We learned about each other as adults and reminisced about our childhoods. It was one of my favorite nights.
I learned they were selling their house and most of their possessions and buying an RV. They were huge mountain biking enthusiasts and in their mid 30’s they felt they needed to go. They had saved money and made a plan. They were leaving from Florida, traveling up the east coast then heading out west. I thought it sounded amazing even if I wasn’t into camping or mountain biking. I was so proud of them for taking the Leap of Faith and going on their adventure. Most people wait for retirement to do all the things they’ve ever wanted to do. And sometimes, like my Dad, retirement is too late.
On their way up the coast, they stopped to see us in Richmond. We had a fire and had a great time catching up. They visited our houses, and we spent some time at their campground. I have to say they were part of the inspiration that lead me to quit my job that fall and go to Thailand to teach English. If my grandparents’ car hadn’t broken down and my mom wouldn’t have left it in Florida or if I didn’t have the guts to give them a call, I wonder where I would be and where our friendship would be today. What opportunities would I have missed out on? Things happen for a reason, my friends.
Since that phone call in the spring of 2015, we have stayed in touch and seen each other two to three times per year. They have welcomed us into their house each time we drive up and down the east coast. They were even generous enough to open their home to Sweet Gram and the cat! We don’t need to call each other every day or check in every weekend. We send texts when we miss each other, and we make plans when we want to get together.
I am truly blessed to have this couple in my life, along with so many others that make friendships and life easy. I believe our small-town childhood created deep bonds within us. I believe that friendships should bring you joy. Friendships should make you laugh. We need to remember that we are all busy. We may not hear from our friends as much as we want to at any given moment but we need to not take it personally. We can’t make assumptions unless we are assuming our friend loves us and just can’t get back to us right now.
Anyway, I hope you are blessed with a few easy friendships where you can catch up and laugh your face off until all hours in the morning. I hope you have people in your life that make it easy, that support you, and that love you. So Happy Halloween, my friends! Although we aren’t dressing up, we are off to Las Vegas to spend another weekend with these amazing friends.
As you read in Secret to Life, Sweet Gram would have been 100 years old on September 13. Since her passing in 2021, I have been on the path of trying to find my “new” identity. I spent my life being an independent woman educator who made her own money, bought her own cars, owned her house, and paid her bills on time. I wanted to be an independent woman.
I studied hard and graduated college with an elementary and special education degree. Then I received my Masters Degree in 2007 and became a Coordinator of Special Education. I was in the education field for 16 years. In 2015, I quit to go to Thailand (to teach English) and then became Gram’s caregiver until 2021 when she passed. I even did some remote work from 2020 until 2022. All of my jobs were rewarding and satisfying especially, caregiving for Gram. I enjoyed them and all the people I worked with.
Since Gram passed, I have been searching for something, my “new identity”. Although I don’t need to make money I felt like I needed a career or a job. Everyone always asks “what do you do?” I am stuck with no answer. I have tried to find something that I love to do. Something to stick. But it appears the only thing I am good at is running meetings and being organized. Since leaving the field of education, I have become a realtor, a travel agent, a NuSkin consultant, and a Blogger. Nothing seems to come easy or natural, and nothing seems to make me any money. I feel like the only thing I am good at is being a retired educator and a professional gypsy. And of course I do love writing.
I don’t know how to be a travel agent or a salesperson. I haven’t had real training in these fields therefore, it is frustrating and makes me feel inept. I feel like I owe it to my old self to have a job. But I am trying to let go of the past and open my eyes and my heart to my new self.
I love my new self and the life that My Heart and I lead. We are Never Home, and I am blessed to have the opportunity to do and see so many things that I always dreamed of seeing. If I had a job I would miss out on these opportunities. So, I finally have decided that I don’t need a “job” that makes money. I need a “job” where I feel I have a purpose. I feel that purpose in my Blog. I enjoy writing my posts and hopefully passing on inspiring messages and posts to people who may need some encouragement. I also enjoy volunteering at Valerie’s House in Fort Myers.
As you have read, life is about making changes. And this is another season of change in my life. I think we need to always be willing to change and be present in our lives. I have been reading a lot about being in the moment like three-year-olds are. They are not worried about the past. They bring no baggage with them. They aren’t worried about the future, and they have no fear. They are just wiggling around, smiling, exploring, and discovering the world around them. Maybe we shouldn’t act like three-year-olds as far as maturity but maybe we take a life lesson and be free in our lives like they are. Let’s live in the moment and enjoy each moment.
Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash
I saw this article about the secret to life through an email subscription I get for free called “1440” which is a daily newsletter. It is a great email with the day’s news with unbiased reporting which is rare to get these days. It takes five minutes to read and there are links if you’d like to continue reading further into some articles. Please check it out.
I didn’t know why it was called 1440 but after reading their introduction I found out they named it that because the printing press was invented around the year 1440, spreading knowledge to the masses and changing the course of history. Also, in every day, there are 1,440 minutes. Now we know.
Here is a snippet from the article. “Maria Branyas Morera, the world’s oldest known person, died at the age of 117 on August 19, 2024. Born on March 4, 1907, in San Francisco, she moved to Catalonia, Spain, at age 8. Morera witnessed major historical events, including two world wars and the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, and she became the oldest known survivor of COVID-19 at age 113. She was active on social media as “Super Àvia Catalana” (or Super Catalan Grandma), amassing nearly 19,000 followers.
There are approximately 722,000 centenarians—those aged 100 and older—globally, with 108,000 in the US. Supercentenarians—those aged 110 and older—are rare, with about 250-300 worldwide and roughly 60-70 known in the US. Morera credited her longevity to enjoying nature, good company, avoiding toxic people, luck, and genetics.
Some studies suggest the maximum human lifespan could be between 120 and 150 years. The oldest verified person to have ever lived died in 1997 at 122. The current oldest living person is now 116-year-old Tomiko Itooka from Japan.”
What an amazing life! To have lived through all of that is a beautiful accomplishment. Congratulations to Maria and her family!
Gram would have been 100 years old today! Unbelievable that we had someone in our family who was three and a half years away from making it to be a centenarian. I wish she would have been able to see the day. And I wish she would have told me her secret to life although after spending my entire life and five years living with her I have a pretty good guess at what her secret might have been.
Unlike many of us who are getting old, Gram seemed to be ageless. I feel like she looked the same at age 95 as she did when she was 62. Same white hair, same cute smile, same personality. She was ALWAYS smiling. She loved sitting outside with the sunshine on her face. She loved sitting in her recliner and looking out the window at the snow. She seemed to appreciate whatever it was that was thrown at her.
I remember Gram always dressing nice and doing her hair and putting rouge on her cheeks. She cared about what she looked like. But I don’t think she cared what other people thought of her if they had bad thoughts. She said what was on her mind (sometimes a little too loud!).
I do have to admit the last six months of her life we could see a decline. She was getting thinner and more frail. She was sleeping 16 hours a day. She was grumpier and the dementia seemed to have more of an impact on her. But all the same, she was my Gram and I loved her.
I love the advice Maria gives to us in the article. We need to enjoy nature and good company, avoid toxic people, have some luck, and hope for good genetics. I believe this is why Gram lived as long as he did. I believe Gram’s secret to life was her personality. She loved sitting outside, she didn’t put up with toxic people in her life, and she was happy and appreciative. She didn’t take much for granted. She was generous and concerned about the well-being of others. I admire her strength and her heart. She was my biggest inspiration. I mean who else would sit on a plant cart 🙂
Happy 100 years in Heaven, Gram! I hope you made a vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust (my favorite) and your delicious spaghetti and meatballs. Enjoy a beautiful family dinner with all of those up there filled with love, laughter, and memories. Until we meet again…
My Rock and I were on a standby flight from Aruba to the United States. We were the last people on but the flight attendant gave us the perk of sitting in the front row with her as she had it saved because her seat belt was broken in the flight attendant jump seat. Across the way was an elderly man with what appeared to be his daughter and granddaughter. It made me think of getting old.
He walked with a cane and was slow moving. I can’t tell age but he seemed older or at least his body did. He went to use the restroom and when he returned you could tell he went. I felt terrible for him and for those of us around him.
But it reminded me of Gram who always said “starość to nie radość” which means “it’s hell getting old” in Polish. And wow isn’t it? Our bodies slow down, we don’t remember as much, we are sore and tired all the time, we get grumpy, and we lose control of some of our bodily functions. The little things we took for granted when we were younger are missed so much as we get older.
When we are kids we wish the time away and we can’t wait to be adults. Then at some point in adulthood, we wish time would slow down, and we wish we could go back to those youthful days when there was no fear, no anxiety, and no cracking when we got out of bed.
Even though I still have almost two years, the big 5-0 is coming soon! It’s crazy to think how old I thought 50 was as a kid. Now it’s so young. I feel like our friends are the same as they always have been. We are still going non-stop and in my mind, I feel like I can do anything now that I did 25 years ago. However, my body and the bulging disks in my neck tell me otherwise.
Anyway, back to the plane and getting old. My mind wandered to my father and others who didn’t have the chance to get old. His body was ravaged by cancer and the treatments but at 60 he was still so very young. I am glad that he didn’t have to go through the stages of old age but he barely got to go through the good old days of retirement because he was fighting cancer for nine years.
So then I have to ask myself, which way is better? Growing old and losing control of your body or dying young and not knowing what you’ve missed? Is it better to know a loved one is going to die as sometimes we do with disease or is it better to lose your loved one in a freak accident that you never saw coming?
I have decided it doesn’t matter. They both suck. Losing a loved one to cancer, disease, or an accident can be unbearable. There is always something you wanted to say. There is always something left undone. There is always a hole in your heart. It can’t be replaced, and you can do nothing to not feel the hurt.
Therefore, my friends, all we can do is support one another. No one’s grief is more or less than another’s. We all grieve in different ways and it all hurts no matter what. Let’s not compare our lives or our grief to others. Let’s help each other by lifting each other up as best we can. Let’s support each other and bring each other out of the dark places we can sometimes get ourselves into.
Why is it that people keep going back to toxic relationships? If a significant other, family member, or friend treats you with disrespect and/or rage, then why stay in that relationship? Why keep interacting with that person when the same thing keeps happening? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?
My Valentine and I try to live our lives with the least amount of stress and the most amount of fun. Yes, sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. We stay up too late when we know we have important things to do in the morning, travel too much, and therefore sometimes don’t foster the relationships we have in one area, and are too much alike to stop each other from making some not-so-good decisions. But we usually do these things because we are having so much fun at the moment. In the end, we rarely regret the late nights and the fun we have with our amazing friends and family. And maybe some people would call that toxic, while we call it life.
But I guess I am talking about how when other people are not happy in their own lives, or within themselves, they take it out on you. Because they are in a sad state because of a situation and their negative reaction to it, they find you an easy target. They know they can disrespect you and you will keep on taking it. You will call them back. You will forgive and forget. You will move on like nothing happened. And half the time they don’t even admit they were wrong. And why? Because you understand that they were in a bad space and that it truly wasn’t personal against you. You know they didn’t mean what they said or did. So you are able to move on because you have learned through your own self-help articles and therapy that many people lash out because of what is going on inside of them. You know it rarely has anything to do with you. And even though you know all of this in your head it still can make you sad sometimes.
Toxic people are tough. They are your family or very good friends. They have been with you through thick and thin. You have good times with them. You laugh with them. You find hope that finally the situation will turn around. But somehow something happens that triggers the negative response. And because you are a healthy person inside you understand their toxic ways. But because you understand them and try not to take their rudeness to heart, does that mean you need to continue to put up with it? Because they are in a bad place does not give them the right to take it out on you when you have done nothing wrong.
It’s hard because many times these toxic relationships start with jealousy and envy. Their lives didn’t turn out the way they had planned or were hoping and because you have some of what they don’t, they feel like they can be angry with you. Instead of taking responsibility, helping themselves, and figuring out how to improve their lives, they want everyone around them to feel worse. Toxic people have a way of seeing the world negatively and they believe their life sucks. (Please read this article.) They can’t seem to figure out that:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
I know it’s tough, and I give credit to those of you who have cut the toxic relationships out of your life. You are very strong people! To those of you living with toxic relationships, I hope you know it isn’t about you. I hope you can see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful person your loved one is (if only they could see it in themselves). I hope you can lift yourself up, and I hope you don’t pass the toxicity on to other happy people in your life.
Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash
I have said it many times. Love this life. It’s the only one you have. Choose to live it well.
“Love the life you live. Live the life you love.”
– Bob Marley
As you read in one of my recent posts, several people have said they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures, and they can’t wait to see where we will be going next. Most people wonder where we get the energy. And sometimes I wonder that myself!
At my #LEGS Christmas party a friend of mine said, “I love seeing all your pictures. You have the “perfect” life.” I was flattered, but I hope everyone knows our life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. And what is perfect anyway?
I do have to say that our life is “perfect” for us. We are lucky because we both love the crazy, gypsy, never-home lifestyle we lead. If one of us was a homebody, it wouldn’t work. If one of us was an introvert, it wouldn’t work. But we love being on the go. We love seeing new places and trying new things. We love our homes that we are blessed to have. We also have amazing friends and family that make the places we visit feel like “home.”
I am flattered that people have told me they love our lives, and they are happy for us. We work hard to be able to play hard. We work hard at our marriage to make it work. We communicate with each other to make sure we are on the same page. Of course, we have disagreements and sometimes we lose patience and get annoyed with one another. But we know that marriage is hard, and we want to make sure each other’s buckets are full (Read the post “The Five Love Languages” if you don’t know what I am talking about). Therefore, we need to check in and make sure both of us are enjoying where we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. Unpacking and repacking a few days later can strain a marriage. Being out of our workout and eating routine can also be frustrating. We realize our eating habits must be on point while we are running around.
My Valentine and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Every year we have been together, I have made an 8×8 photo book of our year in review from Snapfish. Usually, the books are about 50 pages long. This year we had so many adventures and so much fun it was almost 90 pages!! I guess I took a lot of pictures and didn’t want to leave anything out. Going through the photographs of the past year was eye-opening. Remembering all the good times and the special memories with the people we love was amazing. I enjoy making these books because they make me go back and review our year. What did we do? Who did we meet? Who did we spend time with? Where did we go? It’s wonderful to look at all the pictures and live it again vicariously.
Our life is not for everyone. Yes, it may look amazing on Facebook and other social media as do a lot of people’s lives. But remember social media isn’t always true. Most of the time, people are putting on a front. They want others to think their life is “perfect“. They want others to believe they are happy and have no problems. We don’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives so give people grace. And PLEASE DON’T COMPARE your life to theirs. Everyone is on their own journey.
As I said our life is “perfect” for us. It’s what we have chosen. Some people don’t want to unpack and repack in the same week. Some people hate packing altogether. Some people don’t want to race from gate to gate to try to catch a standby flight. Some people don’t want to be away from the gym or their home for an extended period. Some people don’t want to go out of their comfort zone or out of their hometown. And guess what? That is okay. Our life is not for everyone. Whatever you choose for your life, make it perfect for YOU!
As you read in Sad Sometimes, I get sad sometimes. Today is one of those days. I am missing my sister, my gram, and my dad. And sometimes it just really sucks. As you know, I try to write uplifting, inspiring posts, and I try to be strong. But sometimes I need to let my guard down and be vulnerable.
May is a tough month for our family. In 2012, we lost my dad on the night of May 22 and in 2018 we lost my sister on May 7. Therefore, this month can be difficult, especially for my mother who misses a piece of herself on Mother’s Day.
Death is tough. You want to convince yourself that it is good because the person you love is no longer in pain, especially if they have been fighting a terminal illness. And yes, death is amazing for the person who has died because they have moved on to eternal life. They are enjoying all the glory of God and in the best and most peaceful place ever.
But here we are down here. Missing them. Suffering. Making ourselves miserable. Why? I think it is because we feel guilty for one reason or another. We are sad that we didn’t get a chance to tell our person one more thing. Or maybe we feel guilty because we feel we should have spent more time with them. Or maybe we feel guilty because we hadn’t talked to that person in a long time. Whatever it is we need to STOP. We cannot keep living with guilt. We made the best decisions for ourselves at the time with the information we had. We did not know our person would be gone. And even if we did, we did what we felt we needed to do with the time we had left.
I can almost guarantee that the person in Heaven is not holding a grudge against you. They are not worried one bit about how much time you did or didn’t spend with them because they know when your time comes you will be spending eternity together. And they are not upset about words that were spoken. So give yourself some grace. Let the guilt go. Your person does not want you down here being miserable or making others miserable. What they want for you is to live your life to the fullest. They want you to find someone to share life with. They want you to be happy and share happiness with others. They want you to honor them by sharing the amazing times you had and being happy.
Some days it is hard and some days it’s ok to be missing them. But let’s quit feeling sorry for ourselves and let’s be happy. Life is way too short to dwell on unhappy times. It’s also too short to try to control situations and people that we cannot.
So, Dad, please know I am missing you more than anything today. I wish you were here to call when my tire light comes on or when the pilot light goes out. I wish you were here to help us with projects and come relax by the pool. We’d love to take you out on the boat. I know you would love it. But you are gone. Therefore, the only thing I can do is try to live a life that I can be proud of and that I feel would make you proud. I know you are watching over us and smiling down in your quiet way. I can picture your face and it brings me peace. (Can you believe I started to like playing golf after all those years of bitching about it!!?? I am hoping to beat mom in the upcoming PNA Tourney…don’t tell her :))
Life is too short, my friends, for pettiness and jealousy. We need to remember death is inevitable for all of us. Therefore, if today were your last day on Earth, can you go with no regrets? If not, then take steps to complete your tasks so you can go with a clean conscience. Maybe write a letter to someone you need to make peace with (even if you just put it in an envelope for them to find later). Maybe write a thank you note to someone who made a difference in your life. Maybe give someone a call and tell them you love them. Whatever it is, get it done because we never know when it will be our time.
Remember, we are only here for a short time. Live a life full of adventure, kindness, and happiness. And let’s spread joy to one another. If you are missing someone take a moment to say hello and look for those Signs from Heaven. Hopefully, that will make you smile.
Life is short. Be sure to live it to the fullest. Love with all your heart. Find happiness in all you do. Find beauty in the world around you. Because we can’t get this time back.
“A life without love is like a year without spring.”
~ Octavian Paler
Photo by Mark Tegethoff on Unsplash