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Why is it that people keep going back to toxic relationships? If a significant other, family member, or friend treats you with disrespect and/or rage, then why stay in that relationship? Why keep interacting with that person when the same thing keeps happening? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?

My Valentine and I try to live our lives with the least amount of stress and the most amount of fun. Yes, sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. We stay up too late when we know we have important things to do in the morning, travel too much, and therefore sometimes don’t foster the relationships we have in one area, and are too much alike to stop each other from making some not-so-good decisions. But we usually do these things because we are having so much fun at the moment. In the end, we rarely regret the late nights and the fun we have with our amazing friends and family. And maybe some people would call that toxic, while we call it life.

But I guess I am talking about how when other people are not happy in their own lives, or within themselves, they take it out on you. Because they are in a sad state because of a situation and their negative reaction to it, they find you an easy target. They know they can disrespect you and you will keep on taking it. You will call them back. You will forgive and forget. You will move on like nothing happened. And half the time they don’t even admit they were wrong. And why? Because you understand that they were in a bad space and that it truly wasn’t personal against you. You know they didn’t mean what they said or did. So you are able to move on because you have learned through your own self-help articles and therapy that many people lash out because of what is going on inside of them. You know it rarely has anything to do with you. And even though you know all of this in your head it still can make you sad sometimes.

Toxic people are tough. They are your family or very good friends. They have been with you through thick and thin. You have good times with them. You laugh with them. You find hope that finally the situation will turn around. But somehow something happens that triggers the negative response. And because you are a healthy person inside you understand their toxic ways. But because you understand them and try not to take their rudeness to heart, does that mean you need to continue to put up with it? Because they are in a bad place does not give them the right to take it out on you when you have done nothing wrong.

It’s hard because many times these toxic relationships start with jealousy and envy. Their lives didn’t turn out the way they had planned or were hoping and because you have some of what they don’t, they feel like they can be angry with you. Instead of taking responsibility, helping themselves, and figuring out how to improve their lives, they want everyone around them to feel worse. Toxic people have a way of seeing the world negatively and they believe their life sucks. (Please read this article.) They can’t seem to figure out that:

“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”

— Hal Elrod

I know it’s tough, and I give credit to those of you who have cut the toxic relationships out of your life. You are very strong people! To those of you living with toxic relationships, I hope you know it isn’t about you. I hope you can see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful person your loved one is (if only they could see it in themselves). I hope you can lift yourself up, and I hope you don’t pass the toxicity on to other happy people in your life.

Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

As you read in one of my recent posts, several people have said they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures, and they can’t wait to see where we will be going next. Most people wonder where we get the energy. And sometimes I wonder that myself!

on the boat

At my #LEGS Christmas party a friend of mine said, “I love seeing all your pictures. You have the “perfect” life.” I was flattered, but I hope everyone knows our life is not perfect. No one’s life is perfect. And what is perfect anyway?

I do have to say that our life is “perfect” for us. We are lucky because we both love the crazy, gypsy, never-home lifestyle we lead. If one of us was a homebody, it wouldn’t work. If one of us was an introvert, it wouldn’t work. But we love being on the go. We love seeing new places and trying new things. We love our homes that we are blessed to have. We also have amazing friends and family that make the places we visit feel like “home.”

I am flattered that people have told me they love our lives, and they are happy for us. We work hard to be able to play hard. We work hard at our marriage to make it work. We communicate with each other to make sure we are on the same page. Of course, we have disagreements and sometimes we lose patience and get annoyed with one another. But we know that marriage is hard, and we want to make sure each other’s buckets are full (Read the post “The Five Love Languages” if you don’t know what I am talking about). Therefore, we need to check in and make sure both of us are enjoying where we are, what we are doing, and where we are going. Unpacking and repacking a few days later can strain a marriage. Being out of our workout and eating routine can also be frustrating. We realize our eating habits must be on point while we are running around.

My Valentine and I just celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. Every year we have been together, I have made an 8×8 photo book of our year in review from Snapfish. Usually, the books are about 50 pages long. This year we had so many adventures and so much fun it was almost 90 pages!! I guess I took a lot of pictures and didn’t want to leave anything out. Going through the photographs of the past year was eye-opening. Remembering all the good times and the special memories with the people we love was amazing. I enjoy making these books because they make me go back and review our year. What did we do? Who did we meet? Who did we spend time with? Where did we go? It’s wonderful to look at all the pictures and live it again vicariously.

Our life is not for everyone. Yes, it may look amazing on Facebook and other social media as do a lot of people’s lives. But remember social media isn’t always true. Most of the time, people are putting on a front. They want others to think their life is “perfect“. They want others to believe they are happy and have no problems. We don’t truly know what’s going on in other people’s lives so give people grace. And PLEASE DON’T COMPARE your life to theirs. Everyone is on their own journey.

on the plane

As I said our life is “perfect” for us. It’s what we have chosen. Some people don’t want to unpack and repack in the same week. Some people hate packing altogether. Some people don’t want to race from gate to gate to try to catch a standby flight. Some people don’t want to be away from the gym or their home for an extended period. Some people don’t want to go out of their comfort zone or out of their hometown. And guess what? That is okay. Our life is not for everyone. Whatever you choose for your life, make it perfect for YOU!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As you read in Sad Sometimes, I get sad sometimes. Today is one of those days. I am missing my sister, my gram, and my dad. And sometimes it just really sucks. As you know, I try to write uplifting, inspiring posts, and I try to be strong. But sometimes I need to let my guard down and be vulnerable.

stacy and gram

May is a tough month for our family. In 2012, we lost my dad on the night of May 22 and in 2018 we lost my sister on May 7. Therefore, this month can be difficult, especially for my mother who misses a piece of herself on Mother’s Day.

gram and mom

Death is tough. You want to convince yourself that it is good because the person you love is no longer in pain, especially if they have been fighting a terminal illness. And yes, death is amazing for the person who has died because they have moved on to eternal life. They are enjoying all the glory of God and in the best and most peaceful place ever.

But here we are down here. Missing them. Suffering. Making ourselves miserable. Why? I think it is because we feel guilty for one reason or another. We are sad that we didn’t get a chance to tell our person one more thing. Or maybe we feel guilty because we feel we should have spent more time with them. Or maybe we feel guilty because we hadn’t talked to that person in a long time. Whatever it is we need to STOP. We cannot keep living with guilt. We made the best decisions for ourselves at the time with the information we had. We did not know our person would be gone. And even if we did, we did what we felt we needed to do with the time we had left.

I can almost guarantee that the person in Heaven is not holding a grudge against you. They are not worried one bit about how much time you did or didn’t spend with them because they know when your time comes you will be spending eternity together. And they are not upset about words that were spoken. So give yourself some grace. Let the guilt go. Your person does not want you down here being miserable or making others miserable. What they want for you is to live your life to the fullest. They want you to find someone to share life with. They want you to be happy and share happiness with others. They want you to honor them by sharing the amazing times you had and being happy.

Some days it is hard and some days it’s ok to be missing them. But let’s quit feeling sorry for ourselves and let’s be happy. Life is way too short to dwell on unhappy times. It’s also too short to try to control situations and people that we cannot.

So, Dad, please know I am missing you more than anything today. I wish you were here to call when my tire light comes on or when the pilot light goes out. I wish you were here to help us with projects and come relax by the pool. We’d love to take you out on the boat. I know you would love it. But you are gone. Therefore, the only thing I can do is try to live a life that I can be proud of and that I feel would make you proud. I know you are watching over us and smiling down in your quiet way. I can picture your face and it brings me peace. (Can you believe I started to like playing golf after all those years of bitching about it!!?? I am hoping to beat mom in the upcoming PNA Tourney…don’t tell her :))

stacy and dad

Life is too short, my friends, for pettiness and jealousy. We need to remember death is inevitable for all of us. Therefore, if today were your last day on Earth, can you go with no regrets? If not, then take steps to complete your tasks so you can go with a clean conscience. Maybe write a letter to someone you need to make peace with (even if you just put it in an envelope for them to find later). Maybe write a thank you note to someone who made a difference in your life. Maybe give someone a call and tell them you love them. Whatever it is, get it done because we never know when it will be our time.

Remember, we are only here for a short time. Live a life full of adventure, kindness, and happiness. And let’s spread joy to one another. If you are missing someone take a moment to say hello and look for those Signs from Heaven. Hopefully, that will make you smile.

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

Monday, April 1, was my birthday which always happens to be April Fools’ Day! And I love it. Many people would find being born on April 1 annoying, but I have always found it so much fun. My mom tried to get me out on March 31, but I am glad my little body decided to stay in there until 12:06 midnight 48 years ago.

stacy and hubby at winery

April has always been the best time for a birthday. It’s springtime and the weather starts getting better. It doesn’t fall around Christmas or Back to School Time so you get presents throughout the whole year for all the special occasions 🙂 Sometimes it falls around Easter, but that just makes it more special.

But here we are, another trip around the sun for me. Some people fret about getting older, but I think what I have learned from my dear family members who have passed away at the young ages of 38, 60, and 63 is that celebrating a birthday is a magical thing that you should feel blessed to be celebrating.

Although it is hard to believe that I am TWO years away from turning the BIG 5-0, I am excited about it. I hope I make it, and I hope I get to celebrate. My goal has always been to make it to all 50 states by my 50th birthday. If I haven’t made it to all 50 states by 50 (I’ll be close), my birthday party may end up in Arkansas! I am not sure what there is to do in Arkansas, but I will have to think of something if that happens to be the last state on my list.

This year, I was blessed that my late sister’s family was in town for Easter AND my birthday for the second year in a row. I hope the Spring Break tradition continues. I was so excited to spend time with my brother-in-law, his girlfriend, my niece and nephew, and my bonus niece and nephews. It was a packed few days with nine of us running around the house. We made it to church, had a delicious brunch, afternoon pool time, and an Easter dinner on the pool deck. The next few days were filled with boating and spending time on Fort Myers Beach. If you have visited us in Fort Myers then you probably know of our favorite ice cream place called Love BoatMy Prince and I continue to follow the tradition of my late grandfather which started over 20 years ago.  Just like he did, we take all of our visitors to the Love Boat for ice cream! And I haven’t found one person who doesn’t love it! The rest of our time together was spent playing pool, ping pong, and games around the fire.

kids going to church

Anyway, as I get older I try to look at the positives. I don’t need anything materialistic for my birthday, just a few good wishes and some time with family and friends. I also realize that birthdays don’t need to be celebrated on the exact day which is perfect for me because I love celebrating ANYTIME around my birthday with ANYONE willing to celebrate!!

So the next birthday you have, live it up and be proud of whatever age you are celebrating! Celebrate YOU and YOUR day! You made it and deserve to be proud of your age, accomplishments, and life. Cheers to you!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

 

 

P.S.

If you do want to try to reverse time, check out my new health and wellness business at www.skinlikestacy.mynuskin.com, and let’s get rid of some of those fine lines and wrinkles together!

As you all know My Prince and I travel A LOT! It seems we are Never Home, and if we are home, we have company. Some people think it’s amazing while others are exhausted just looking at our pictures and reading my posts. Other people don’t understand why we can’t stay in one place for any length of time. Sometimes we feel like we are being pulled in so many different directions. It seems that everything seems to happen on the same day. Having the FOMO (fear of missing out) that I have, I wish there was a way to be in about three places at one time!

We have had several people say they live vicariously through us. They love seeing our pictures and our adventures. They are always looking forward to see where we are going next. Some say they don’t have to travel because we do it for them. Many are excited that they get to see different places without going anywhere.

park city

My Rock and I love traveling. We love our experiences, the people we meet, and the sites we get to see. We travel at least once a month if not more. Sometimes to Virginia to visit family and sometimes to different destinations to go skiing. Even though my hubby flies for work he still enjoys the personal adventure of the places we get to go. We are blessed to have flight benefits through his work, therefore, we can travel for less money. The problem is sometimes we have to run from one gate to another to try to catch that flight home. Or we have to stay an extra day because the flights are full. These are the frustrating things people don’t see. And sometimes it can make for a very long day. I just try to see it as an added adventure. It’s always fun to see where we will end up 🙂

Over the Christmas holiday, My Valentine and I were talking with his brother. We were talking about the new virtual reality glasses and how real they make everything look and feel. I am not sure how I feel about this new phenomenon. Yes, you can travel vicariously to the Eiffel Tower without ever leaving your couch, but is it the same as actually climbing those steps to the top? I guess I like the idea of the glasses for those who are limited by physical or mental impairments and cannot travel. To see them would probably be very cool. But I am nervous about the impact it will have on our society. Will people quit traveling? Will people quit interacting with others? Will people lose their desire to see the world? If you wear these glasses you don’t have to go anywhere, walk anywhere, or do anything. You just feel like you are wherever you want to be. I would rather see things with my own eyes, be there in my own spirit, and feel the real world around me, but maybe I am different.

My husband and I just spent 18 days in Europe. We went skiing in Chamonix, France, Zermatt, and  Lenzerheide, Switzerland, and then ended with three days in Zurich, Switzerland. We were amazed by the wondrous mountains and the amazing views. We skied for 10 days with beautiful scenic drives in between ski towns. What a beautiful countryside. Once in Zurich, we walked thousands of steps, trying different shops, and going to different restaurants. I couldn’t imagine doing this vicariously through some virtual reality glasses and not being there in person.

us in Zermatt

I know living vicariously through other people or glasses can be fun. I love seeing pictures from other people’s travels. But I grew up with a desire to see the world. I want to BE in as many places as  I can and EXPERIENCE as many different worlds and cultures as possible. I hope if you have a place you would like to go to you find a way to take that trip. Don’t wait for the right time or wait to have the right amount of money. Where there is a will there is a way. Make it happen and turn the vicarious into reality!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As you know My Rock and I travel A LOT. And many people wonder how we stay in shape while we are almost always on the go. We can’t always work out so we need to make a conscious effort to eat healthy while we are running around.

Depending on how you travel there are many options. If you drive, you can pack a cooler and stop at different restaurants along the way. We love looking up local restaurants and sitting down for a nice meal when we drive. If you fly, which airport you are flying into and how much time you have can make a difference in what you choose to eat. Many people go for the fast food chains they know and love in the airport. I believe this is for several reasons. One, they think it’s cheaper than any other option. Two, they know what is available and how it will taste. Three, many people are afraid of trying different foods.

airport line at restaurantIf you have a little bit of time, look for different restaurants. There are some very cool and different restaurants in the airport terminal. There are several options from Asian, Belgian, English, Irish, and American. If you are adventurous, try something new! Many times the lines here are shorter as you see here at Garbanzo Mediterranean Fresh (in the Denver airport, which was packed).

Fast food restaurants in airports can often be tempting, but it’s important to make better nutritional choices to maintain a healthy diet. Jersey Mike’s has healthier options than fried foods. Chipotle is a healthier option. Some of them even have cauliflower rice. Most airports have some type of Asian restaurant where you can get a poke bowl or sushi. Most airports have a Tropical Smoothie where you can get a smoothie and add protein to it. They even have some good sandwiches you can try. You can even make good choices at Starbucks by getting a black coffee or putting honey or almond milk in it for a sweetener. The egg bites are the best choice there or an egg sandwich with no bread. Again, eating is all about making choices. As you can see the line at Chick-fil-A is super long!
airport line at chick-fil-a
Here are some tips for making healthier choices at restaurants in airports (or on the Road) in the United States:
  1. Look for healthier options: Many fast food restaurants now offer healthier menu items. Look for options that are lower in calories, saturated fat, and sodium. Choose grilled or baked options instead of fried, and opt for salads or vegetable-based dishes instead of fries or onion rings.
  2. Avoid sugary drinks: Instead of reaching for a soda or sugary beverage, choose water, unsweetened tea, or a low-calorie drink option. Sugary drinks can add unnecessary calories and contribute to weight gain.
  3. Control portion sizes: Fast food restaurants often serve large portions, which can lead to overeating. Try to choose smaller portion sizes or share a meal with a travel companion to avoid consuming excess calories. Or eat half and save the other half for later. You can take it on the plane or put it in your cooler.
  4. Add more vegetables: If possible, ask for extra vegetables or a side salad with your meal. Adding more vegetables to your meal can increase the nutritional value and help you feel more satisfied.
  5. Limit condiments and dressings: Condiments and dressings can be high in calories, fat, and sodium. Opt for lighter options such as mustard, salsa, or vinegar-based dressings, and use them sparingly. If possible stick with olive oil based dressings.
  6. Plan: If you know you’ll be traveling through an airport with limited healthy options, consider packing your own snacks or meals. This way, you can ensure you have nutritious options available. It’s easy to pack protein powder and a water bottle. Apples, nuts, and protein bars are easy snacks to take along.
If you don’t travel often you may not know what you can bring a water bottle through security. You can empty it before going through TSA. After you are through you can fill it back up at the water fountain. Most airports have water bottle refilling stations now. Something else you can do is bring food and snacks. Most food is security friendly. Just be careful with hummus, yogurt, or liquidy-type foods if over the three-ounce limit.
Again, traveling can be tricky but making a conscious effort can help you keep your calories down. Here is a list of some of our favorite snacks when we travel:
  • Quest or Barbella protein bars
  • Homemade chicken or turkey apple sausage
  • Hard-boiled eggs
  • Rotisserie chicken
  • Salt and vinegar pistachios or mixed nuts
  • Carrots and cucumbers
  • Protein powder you can add to water
  • Apples
Remember, making healthier choices at any restaurant is all about balance. It’s okay to indulge occasionally but try to make the majority of your choices focused on nutritious options.
Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

As many of you probably know, after I quit my job as a Coordinator of Special Education in Virginia, I moved to Thailand to teach English as a second language. Since coming back to the United States in 2015, I have had many new ventures. Life Changes have thrown me many curves so I have not had a true full-time job since 2015.

When I returned to my hometown in 2016, I worked in my friend’s ice cream and hot dog shop. The hours were 11-3, and they were perfect. I could have breakfast with Sweet Gram and then go to work. Then I’d pick her up, and we’d head to a softball game as I also started coaching for my High School Alma mater.

At the end of that summer, I worked in a chiropractor‘s office. It was a fun job, and I got to see many different people I knew. Then Gram broke her hip. I had to be more available so I quit the office job and worked on getting my real estate license. I felt being a realtor would provide me with a good income and the flexibility needed to take care of Gram. I sold a million dollars of property that first year and enjoyed being a real estate agent. The paperwork was very similar to writing an IEP for my students in special education. I worked for ERA Real Estate in Pennsylvania for two years.

When Gram and I moved to Florida in 2018, I wasn’t sure what I could do since we would be traveling back and forth and living in two different states. My Rock introduced me to some of the neighbors and one of them owned a travel business. I teamed up with them and became a Travel Advisor (which I still do so let me know if you need me to plan you a trip!). Then I worked remotely for my former school system off and on for three years from 2021-2023.

It was not feasible for me to have a “normal” job due to my Prince’s schedule, therefore I just kept trying new ventures to keep my mind busy while I was taking care of Gram. I was home more and my ventures kept me from being bored when my Valentine was gone and Gram was asleep by the pool.

Now I barely have time to be bored let alone have a “job!” But what can I say? I am a Yes WoMan so I said yes to starting another new venture.

Ever since I was a little girl I was intrigued with my grandmother’s makeup bag. She always used Clinique, and they usually had some type of free samples and a cute bag that she would bring home. I loved playing with her lipstick and eye cream.

Throughout the years I have tried several different skincare routines. Recently I started using NuSkin. A former colleague of mine is always posting about the great results. And I like the way it works and feels. I have not tried all of the products but I have a few favorites.

Well, she convinced me to become a brand affiliate so now I can sell the products. I am not sure I am a good salesperson but I figured I’d try. Check out my NuSkin website and let me know if you’re interested or have any questions!

As we get older our skin loses collagen and we develop those wonderful laugh lines. NuSkin has several products that can help reduce those fine lines and wrinkles. I like the Tru Face Line Corrector and the Uplifting Cream. They also have a firming cream to use on your whole body that tightens and firms. For all my friends up north as well as those who don’t want to spend too much time in the sun, they have a great self-tanning lotion. A new product that is coming out is the RenuSpa. It is a little device that tightens and firms your arms, and tummy, and even helps get rid of cellulite! The results people are posting are amazing! Just look at this!

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So here we go again! Another venture! Maybe this one will stick and I can do it from wherever our adventures take us! Also, check out my new Facebook Page and hit the Like button!

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy