“Be faithful to that which exists within yourself.”
– André Gide
I can’t express to you how amazing my friends are. Family is one thing, and I am blessed with a small, close immediate family and a huge, wonderful extended family. But my friends’ network is beyond words. They always say quality over quantity, but I believe that somehow I got both. I have friends that I have had since birth (literally our moms were in the same hospital room), since elementary school, since high school, since college, since California, since Virginia, since Thailand, since back to Pennsylvania when I started caring for Gram, and now since Florida. It seems that the older I get and different life circumstances occur, it seems the more wonderful people I meet.
From elementary school, I have a core group of friends. Although our paths took different turns, we managed to stay in touch. It didn’t matter if we saw each other every month or once a year, we would get together and it was as if no time had passed. We support each other through beautiful weddings and some heartbreaks. Some of us had children and some were lucky enough to inherit stepchildren. Some of us stayed in the small town where we grew up and others decided to leave. But these women and men have been there for me through good and bad times. And I can’t say enough about their support of gram and me over the past five years. I also have a boxful of notes from some of them from fifth grade forward. I can’t wait for us to get together to read through some of these over some wine one of these days.
Then I was off to college. There I met another group of fantastic ladies. We were from all different states and even though we are now spread all over the globe, and we don’t keep in touch as often as we should, we have a bond that remains. When we do get together or do a Zoom call, it brings my heart so much joy to see their beautiful faces and talk about their children and careers. Again, some decided to have children, some didn’t, some have been married, some have suffered the loss of a husband, some have been divorced and some have long-time partners. Although the differences in paths mean some loss of communication and closeness, we continue to cheer each other on from afar. And when we can meet up, it’s like we go back to those days sitting outside our apartment in college having coffee talk about the night before.
I have another group of friends that I met in Virginia through my education career and by participating in social sports. Richmond has some great adult league social sports you can play such as kickball, football, and wiffleball. We had so much fun playing these sports especially when we won a few championships! Although we don’t stay in touch as often as we should, these folks are always willing to help each other out. Receiving a text out of the blue from one of these special people always makes my heart happy. We may not talk or see each other often, but they all pass through my mind and my heart more often than they probably know.
When I went to Thailand, I met two very special ladies in Richmond before we left. We bonded right away because of our sense of adventure and the fear of the unknown. Once we got to Thailand, we met 30 more people who all had similar interests in traveling and teaching children. I am Facebook friends with many of these people, and recently I reconnected with one wonderful woman who can bring a smile to anyone’s face with her cuteness.
When I moved back to my hometown to provide care and companionship to Gram, I was excited to see my hometown girlfriends and their families. Whenever I would go to our small town sporting events, it was like a high school reunion. It was so much fun! We all had many things going on, but we got together as often as we could. Then I joined CrossFit Meadville and made another group of fantastic friends. I love that there are so many badass women in this gym. Most of these women are married, but in the beginning, they took me on as the odd wheel, and I loved it. When I introduced them to Jeff, they embraced him just as well. This crew enjoys Sunday Fun Days and brewery tours. They also love coming to Florida in the winter to visit. And we love spending our summers in Pennsylvania near them.
Once Gram and I started spending winters in Florida, we met more married couples that Jeff has been friends with for years. Friends he has met through his work or through his sons’ school or sporting events. I love these couples, and although I am still working on developing woman relationships in this area, I enjoy hanging out with them and going to dinner.
Another group of friends I adore is our ski club friends. Jeff started taking me skiing in 2018, and I met some very amazing people while skiing. Most of these friends are in the airline industry which is very intriguing to me. These friends come to ski weeks from all over the United States, and now I have friends to visit all over the country. It is amazing to me to keep meeting such generous and fun-loving people. It truly makes me so happy and makes me believe in the good of this world.
Lastly, I have a group of friends that I have met because of my grandparents. Many of my grandfather’s past basketball players send cards, messages, letters and through these, I have tried to keep the relationship going with Gram. Every time we meet up with someone from the old college, she has the biggest smile on her face. She always knows where they live and usually what they are doing. It amazes me. My husband and I love hearing the stories about my grandpa and how much he meant to them as a coach as well as the life lessons they learned through him. We miss him so much, and I love that he had such an impact on these gentlemen and their families.
This post is for you, my friends. You all know who you are and please know that I love and cherish each one of you. You made my transitions in each area of my life bearable and enjoyable. I am so blessed to be able to count on so many of you for anything, and I hope you feel the same about us. It makes my heart so warm to know that you are all out there. And it makes my heart happy to know how much you love and care about sweet Gram.
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.”
– John Barrymore
“Make each day your masterpiece.”
– John Wooden
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups quick oats
- 1/4 cup nut butter (peanut, almond, cashew)
- 1/2 tsp vanilla
- 1/4 cup vegan butter or coconut oil
- 1 cup coconut sugar
- 1/4 cup water
- pinch of salt
Stacy’s Suggestions and Preparation
- In a large bowl, combine oats, nut butter, vanilla, and salt.
- In a small saucepan, combine butter, sugar, and water.
- As soon as the edges start bubbling all the way around the pan, set the timer for 2:30 (2 minutes 30 seconds).
- Let boil until the timer goes off.
- When the timer goes off, remove and pour the mixture over the oats in the bowl.
- Stir well.
- Scoop unto wax paper/parchment paper and let cool.
- If you want regular no-bake cookies, use this recipe. When I make these I use 1/3 cup peanut/almond butter. I put the butter, milk, cocoa, and sugar into a saucepan and boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat. Then add vanilla and nut butter. Lastly, add the 3 cups of oats. Stir well to combine. Scoop onto wax paper onto the counter.
- Enjoy!
Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.
– Hafez
Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.
–Kevin Kruse
Equipment Needed
- resistance band or
- dumbbells
- check out Our Favorite Tools to check out equipment needed
Weekly Wednesday Workout
In this Tabata style workout, you will do four different movements. You will repeat the movement four times before moving on to the next one. You will work hard for 45 seconds and then have a 15 second rest.
45 seconds on, 15 seconds rest of:
- shoulder to overhead
- bicep curls
- tricep extensions
- shoulder raise
How to Do the Moves
For video click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. You can always add weight to make the movements more challenging. Don’t forget to warm-up. Make this workout work for you!
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
-Mother Teresa
It’s been about three months since we decided to put Gram into Senior Living. We tried to get extra help for her in our home but the lady quit after four days 🙁 She said it was too hard physically. Hmm…not sure that walking a few steps from the bedroom to the kitchen to the pool at a snail’s pace is all that tough but….whatever… it didn’t work out. So here I am three months later missing Gram.
After lots of discussions, pros, cons, tears and a few falls we determined that senior living was the best place for Gram. Jeff and I loved taking care of Gram, and we loved having her in our home. I definitely got more frustrated at times than he did but he also got more breaks from Gram than I did. Needless to say, after caring for Gram for just about five years, I was burned out and exhausted. I couldn’t keep an eye on her every minute she was awake, and I felt like I wasn’t being a good caregiver or granddaughter. We couldn’t go to the store without taking her or getting someone to stay with her. She fell a few times over the past year and even once when I was right across the pool. We didn’t want to take the chance that she would fall, get hurt, or break her hip again.
We found a wonderful facility and together with my mom, we wrote Gram a note about why we felt she would be safer there. She read, smiled, and agreed. The next day she hopped right out of bed, ate breakfast, asked my mom if we would be ok without her money, and asked questions about her new “apartment”. We were in shock. I took her to get her nails and hair done, and we took her to her new place. When it was time for us to leave she was sitting with some ladies, drinking a milkshake, and smiling a big smile. It made my heart happy even though I knew I would be missing Gram.
We were sad that she didn’t seem to care that we were leaving, but we had hope in our hearts that she would adjust well and possibly fall in love with her new home and her new friends. The house felt differently without her, and we kept looking over our shoulders to see what she was doing. We were definitely missing Gram.
Three months later, she has adjusted pretty well, but she still asks to come home. She still asks where she is. Because of her dementia, she doesn’t realize this is her new permanent place. She still has hope that she is coming home. The beautiful thing about putting her in a facility in Fort Myers is that we can visit as often as we want. We can take her out to lunch if we want as well. We also were so blessed to be able to take her to Virginia for Christmas. Although she was very confused about where we were going the first day, she enjoyed being with the family for the holidays. She also enjoyed helping us make pierogies. It broke my heart to put her back in at the end of our trip but the next day she seemed ok.
Things seemed to be heading in a positive direction. She was walking better than she did in our home so we were very happy about that. She seemed to be maintaining her weight. She was socializing with the other ladies more often. I took her out for lunch once and out for ice cream another time. I was trying to show her that she could come and go. We started talking about places we could take her and getting excited about having more adventures with Gram, especially since she was soon going to be vaccinated against the Covid virus.
Then it happened. Last Wednesday, she got her second Covid vaccine shot. Personally, I think Gram is so strong that she would have fought off the Covid without it, but you never know. Well, that evening, she tried to stand up, got dizzy, and lost her balance. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the vaccine or not. But she fell, hit her head on a side table, tore her skin on her elbow, and landed on her right hip (the hip she broke in 2016). Thankfully, we were in town, and I was able to meet her at the Emergency Room. She was so scared and in so much pain. The emergency room nurses were wonderful. They got her head cleaned up and thankfully she didn’t need any stitches. They did the x-rays and yep, her right femur is broken again. Because she already had a replacement, the doctor said there was nothing they could do. He recommended lots of pain meds and to keep her moving as much as she can tolerate.
So here we are six days later, and I am missing Gram. I am missing the Gram I had who made me laugh, who made me a better person, who told me to take care of my husband, who in her nineties had so many adventures, and who was so cute you couldn’t stand it. I am missing Gram because right now she can’t walk (although she is able to sit in her wheelchair relatively comfortably). I am missing Gram because she isn’t talking to me, and she can’t move her right hand. I am missing Gram because she is not eating and not taking her medications consistently. She has been such an inspiration and positive influence on me. She has shown me how to be strong. How to love wholeheartedly. How to laugh. How to enjoy life. How to support your family. How to keep traditions alive. I am not sure what the next few weeks will bring for us. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. If you are in the Fort Myers area and would like to visit Gram or if you would like to send her a card, contact me for the information.