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Pilot’s Wife

March 29, 2022 No Comments

As you know I am a Pilot’s Wife. Many of you may think that being a Pilot’s Wife is a glamourous lifestyle full of travel and adventure. And yes, I must admit that is true most of the time. But if you marry a pilot like mine you are never home! And you have to be independent, flexible, and confident.

When we travel, many times we travel on standby. And some of you think that means we fly for free. That is not the case. Even with standby, there are costs involved. And it varies depending on the airline and how long of a flight we are trying to get on. Yes, it is less expensive but you are not guaranteed a seat. Many times that means hours in the airport or running from one terminal to another to try to catch another flight to get you where you want to go.

I have learned that if you fly standby and you are offered a seat you take it. This also means that sometimes I get a seat and Jeff doesn’t. Or Jeff gets a seat and I don’t. Then you have to resort to backup plans and running from one gate to another. The other thing it means is that we don’t usually get to sit together on a flight. Sometimes I am in the back, and he is in the cockpit. Or he is on one side of the plane, and I am on the other. When you fly standby, you take any seat you can get! And you have to be okay flying next to strangers and not your partner. If possible, the gate agents will try to seat us together but sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

Since becoming a Pilot’s Wife, I have become better at reading departure screens and using travel apps. Our favorite travel app is FlightView. You can see nonstop flights between cities. You can also track flights to see their arrival and departure times. It really is a great app. Another app I like is Kayak. It searches for low fares between destinations. I like to look on Kayak first then book on the specific airline website.

Another thing you need to get used to becoming a Pilot’s Wife is being alone. As you read before there are single people and there are relationship people. You are better at being lonely or better at being annoyed. Jeff and I make a great team because I am better at being lonely and he is better at being annoyed! I was a single, independent woman for 10 years before I met Jeff and became a Pilot’s Wife. I think those years prepared me for my role as a Pilot’s Wife. Jeff will go on trips for work. He may be gone two days. He may be gone for two weeks. And I am home… alone… since Sweet Gram is gone. I am responsible for the many possible mini disasters that usually occur the second he walks out the door. Sometimes the A/C goes out. Sometimes a cockroach scurries across the floor. Sometimes a big ass spider or a little black snake invades my space. And in these instances, I am the one responsible for getting that little creature out.

Being a Pilot’s Wife is a great adventure. I am grateful for the 11 different ski resorts, 20 states, and 6 different countries we have been able to go to over the past five years. I am grateful for the new friends and family members I have met along the way who have become some of my very best friends.

I wouldn’t give up being a Pilot’s Wife for anything. But if being a gypsy, being a big bad bug killer, a game-time decision-maker, a traveler of the world, and a woman of no routine is not your thing, then being a Pilot’s Wife is not for you.

In Travel Junkie

Palisades at Tahoe

March 22, 2022 No Comments

This past week, we enjoyed another beautiful ski week in Lake Tahoe. We started with a weekend at a friend’s house on the south end of Lake Tahoe and ended up on the northside at Palisades at Tahoe, formerly known as Squaw Valley.

Jeff and I, along with two other friends skied a very fun mountain resort called Kirkwood on Saturday. The resort was selling minimal tickets to give pass holders a less busy day on the mountain. It was awesome. Out of the four of us, I was the least experienced skier. It seems they all started when they were four years old, and I didn’t get started until 41! Our friend led us around the mountain and for some reason I was feeling really comfortable and confident. I even went through some shoots and was going up and down the sides of the mountain. It was so much fun! I was keeping up with the group and it felt so good.

The next day we took a 45-minute drive and headed to Palisades. We passed Emerald Bay on our way and had to stop for pictures. We got to Palisades in the early afternoon so we decided to ski for about an hour. It was a beautiful mountain. From several peaks, you can see Lake Tahoe which is absolutely breathtaking. The mountain is huge and there are many ski runs and chair lifts which makes the mountain less busy. My first experience at Palisades was terrible, to say the least. The snow was slushy and hard to get through. As a newer skier, it made such a difference in my confidence and skiing. I felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and my legs were burning. I felt so defeated after my great day at Kirkwood.

The rest of the week was a mix of ice, slush, amazing snow, sunshine, and rain, however, my initial reaction changed. Overall, it was an amazing experience and Palisades became one of my favorite mountains. I skied several black diamond runs! I couldn’t believe it. I was going down the steepest peaks I had ever skied and went the fastest I had ever gone. I ended up loving Tahoe and the experience.

It seems that after about 40 days of skiing in my life something started to click. I believe any sport takes practice and maybe my practice is paying off. Something seems to be working. I am gaining confidence in my ability to stop and turn. I am learning that the more I lean forward the easier it is to control my skies. I am learning that the faster I go sometimes the more control I have as well. I also learned that this may be the one sport where you can semi-blame the equipment and the snow conditions. My skies are used skies, and I think if I get better skies and bindings I may even become a better skier!!

If you are planning a ski trip, I highly recommend Palisades at Tahoe. We stayed at the Resort at Squaw Creek. Even if you don’t ski, there was plenty to do. There was an ice skating rink, a spa, a few shops, and restaurants. There was also a free shuttle over to the village where there were more restaurants, bars, and shops. So get out there and go see the majestic mountain views!

In Inspiration

7 Rounds of 7 Shoulders

March 16, 2022 No Comments

Equipment Needed

dumbbells (optional)

Weekly Wednesday Workout

In today’s workout, you will do three rounds of 7 rounds of 7 reps of 3 shoulder movements. Rest as needed in between each round.

Movements for each round:

7 lateral raises (together or each arm)
7 front raises (together or each arm)
7 shoulder to overhead (together or each arm)

How to Do the Moves

For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!

Photo by Simone Pellegrini on Unsplash

In Adventures with Gram

Letter to Gram

March 8, 2022 No Comments

As you have read, I took care of Gram for five years before she passed away on February 24, 2021. I have been receiving grief therapy through Hope Hospice since then, and it has been very beneficial to have someone to talk to, not only about Gram but about my sister and dad plus just everyday life. I continue to struggle with the loss of Sweet Gram. I am not sure if it’s because I was raised Catholic, and I tend to feel the “Catholic Guilt” from putting her into senior living for the last three months of her life and not bringing her home when she broke her hip the second time or what. I know healing takes time and there will always be ups and downs when it comes to grief, but I just feel an overwhelming sense of loss when it comes to Gram.

My therapist sent me a video about letter writing. The video has to do with expressing gratitude and increasing happiness but she says the same benefits apply to grief letter writing. She suggested how writing a letter to Gram may help me.

Therefore, I decided to sit down and write a letter to Gram. It is sooooooo long, but I had 45 years of time to write to her about. For some reason, I felt compelled to share it with you. I won’t share all of it at once but here is the beginning. I will continue to share over the next few weeks.

Dear Gram,

I have been meaning to write a letter to you. And I wish I would have said all of this before you left this Earth, but I am telling you now. Ever since I was a little girl you were there for me. You told me several times you were the one who carried me home from the hospital after I was born. We lived with you for a period of time while dad was away in Korea. Throughout my childhood, you only lived three blocks away from me and worked right up the hill from our house. I remember walking home from school and heading straight to the college to see you and mom at work.

Although you didn’t play sports or jump around with us, you were always there to cheer us on and to cheer Gramps on, too. His life revolved around sports…Sports on TV, coaching sports and watching sports. You always said if you had a penny for every bleacher you sat on you’d be one rich lady, and I agree!! As far as I can remember, you were at every one of my basketball and softball games. Even in college when I received very little playing time, you and Gramps were always there.

As a little kid, all I can remember is how positive you were. You wanted us to succeed and you were always very proud of us. You and Gramps were the kindest, loving, and most generous people I have ever known. I remember you always making room for people at the dinner table or lending people a hand when they needed it. The more people that I meet that knew you, the more I see what an impact you had on our hometown community and the students who ventured into the area.

Although you were the small, quiet one, you were always so strong. I remember you getting sick and going to the hospital ONE TIME before you were in your 90s. You never went to the doctor. You just made yourself a Hot Toddy and moved on. Even as you got older you never wanted to go to the doctor and you always said you were fine. You were so strong, but also stubborn.

While I did my student teaching I had the wonderful opportunity to live with you and Gramps. Mom and Dad were hosting Marja from Finland so you let me move in with you. When I came home late and a little tipsy, you never lectured me. You listened to my stories and told me there were leftovers in the fridge for my midnight snack. You were usually up watching the 11 o’clock news and then some black and white film after while Gramps was asleep on the couch. It seemed late at night was the only time Gramps would let you have the remote control! The rest of the day the television was on some sporting event.

After I graduated from college in December, I moved to California. You supported my move and even lent me money to get me started. It took me years before trying to pay you back, which you didn’t accept, of course, but I tried because I appreciated all that you did for me.

Even though I was in California for just a short six months, you, Gramps, and Marja came out to visit. We drove to L.A. to see the Hollywood sign and the stars of fame on the sidewalk. And yes, we even took in another sporting event and went to see the L.A. Dodgers play.

After my six-month adventure in Cali, I settled in Richmond, Virginia for 16 years. We both traveled up and down the interstates more times than we can count. I came home a lot when Dad was battling cancer and got to spend extra time with you, too. The eight-hour drive seemed like nothing compared to being all the way across the country.

When we started worrying about you and Grandpa driving to Florida by yourselves for your winter stay at your condo, I volunteered for the job. Thankfully I was in a position in the school system where I could take the time off to drive you down after Christmas and then pick you back up around Easter. You were sometimes hesitant about going to Florida but you always ended up having a great time and you knew how much it meant to Gramps so you went. You loved Fort Myers but you also loved being in your home in Pennsylvania.

Driving with you was always an adventure. You would sit beside me in the passenger seat and get out your Rand McNally Road Atlas. You would follow along as we crossed state lines and tell me who lived where along the way. You and grandpa remembered so much about so many people. I honestly don’t know how you kept it straight.

Your positive attitude and the love you shared for those around you are what make me miss you so much. I could never repay all the love and support you both offered to me over the years, but I hope I can express to you how much it (and you) meant to me.

(To be continued…)

If you have lost someone special in your life, maybe you will find the strength to pick up a pen and paper and write them a little note about how much of an impact they had on your life. I know it has helped me.

In How We Move

7 Rounds of 7 Legs

March 2, 2022 No Comments

Equipment Needed

a light set of dumbbells (optional)

Weekly Wednesday Workout

Here is the second set of our 7 Rounds series. In today’s workout, you will do seven rounds of 7 reps of four leg movements. Rest as needed in between each round.

Movements for each round:

7 squats
7 lunges (each leg)
7 calf raises
7 straight leg deadlift

How to Do the Moves

For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!

Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash

In Family

Vegas Baby

March 1, 2022 No Comments

For Christmas, we bought Jeff’s two sons concert tickets to see Metallica and Greta Van Fleet in Las Vegas. We like to give them memories rather than material things from time to time. It was going to be a three-day family trip to Vegas to see Jeff’s favorite band.

This concert was the second time all three guys have seen Metallica together. Jeff took them for the first time when they were just nine and eleven. Now look at them, all grown up!

When Jeff was buying tickets, he asked me if I wanted to go. I am not a huge Metallica fan but I am a Yes Woman so, of course, I said yes to Vegas and the show! Needless to say, all of us were excited about the trip.

Although we had some difficulties with our flights being delayed and canceled, we all made it to Vegas by midnight on Thursday. We stayed at one of the newest casinos called Resorts World. The hotel and casino were beautiful! They had about five pools which would have been awesome had it been summertime or the weather just a bit warmer!

Both boys are over 21 now so we had a few beverages at the hotel bar when we all got in. Not much gambling took place the first night as we just scouted the hotel and casino and took a little stroll down the Strip. Friday, after breakfast in the hotel, we decided to walk down the Strip to a few of the casinos. We spent a lot of time in Caesar’s Palace enjoying the shopping and people watching. We also walked through the Venetian. It was like we were in a different world and very similar to my time in Venice. I loved the canals and someday maybe we will have enough time for a gondola ride in Italy. Treasure Island was also very cool.

Once back at the hotel, we hit a few slot machines and roulette tables then got ready for the show. We went down to the House of Blues in Mandalay Bay. Blackened Whiskey sponsored the concert pre-party, and we were only a short walk to Allegiant Stadium. Everyone was excited and ready for the show. We missed the first opening band but got there right in time for Greta Van Fleet. They are a young band but the lead singer has a very distinctive voice similar to the lead singer of Led Zepplin. They put on a great show.

Next up Metallica. The crowd went wild! Even though I didn’t know many of the songs they were great performers, and it was an amazing show. They played all of their classics and a few of their newer songs. It seemed everyone knew all of the words except for me. We were up in the back corner and you could feel the heat from the fire near the stage. I really enjoyed the show and am so glad I am a yes girl.

After the show, we walked back to House of Blues and then got a car to our hotel. We gambled a few dollars away, saw the amazing Luke Bryan at the Craps table, and went to bed. Luke also had played that night at Resorts World. Maybe we will see him again in concert someday.

On Saturday, we made our way to the airport to all go our separate ways back to Florida. It was a memorable weekend with the boys, and I was glad to spend some quality with them. It’s crazy to think I am technically their stepmom. I came into their lives when they were already adults so they did not need another mother or anyone else telling them what to do. Now at 21 and 23, I am excited to be their adult friend and maybe a bit of a mentor should they ever want or need my advice.

I think it’s hard to go into a relationship at any point when there are children involved. I am thankful that we all get along, and that we can spend time together as a family. Although I have only known the boys for a short five years, I am really proud of the wonderful young men they are becoming. They have so much to look forward to in life and are at such a fun age. I remember being 23 and wondering where my life’s journey would take me. They now are trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives and who they want to become.

Even though they probably don’t even think of me as a stepmom, I do hope when they find their significant others, and if they choose to have babies that I get to become Gram, Babcia, Nana, or some type of Grandma-figure. I really can’t wait to spoil the little ones!

All in all, I am counting my blessings that Sweet Gram led me to My Prince which led me to two amazing stepsons. I look forward to spending more time together with them, getting to know them better, and creating more memories together as we take on more family adventures.

In Adventures with Gram

Sweet Gram

February 22, 2022 3 Comments

Can you believe Sweet Gram has been gone almost one year?? On one hand, it feels like it just happened. On the other, it feels like she’s been gone so long. People say time heals all wounds, and maybe that is true but losing Gram has been a real struggle for me.

It’s true our family has been through a lot of loss this past decade. It’s hard to believe that we lost my sister four years ago May 7th, my Dad 10 years ago May 23rd, my Gramps six years ago on February 4th, and my sweet Gram one year ago on February 24th.

All of these losses have taken a toll on my heart. Sometimes out of the blue something happens and it just hits me hard as a rock. A song that my sister and I used to listen to will come on the radio or my dad’s cologne will drift by me in the store. It’s amazing how hard something so little can hit you so hard.

This past year has been very difficult for me. I am not sure why the loss of Gram has hit me so hard but it has, and I still struggle. Maybe because I feel guilty about putting her into the senior living home for her final 3 months. Maybe because I took care of her for five years. Maybe because she was almost like a child to me and also at times my best friend. Maybe because she was a part of my life for 45 years. I miss her little laugh and her loving smile. I miss her advice, her thoughts, and her funny sayings. She was my partner-in-crime. I miss going to get ice cream with her. I am not sure there is anyone else in the world who loved ice cream as much as she did.

The littlest things made sweet Gram so happy. She never complained. And she rarely said a bad word about anyone. She had the most inspiring outlook on life. And that positive, optimistic little lady is what I miss so much. I am not sure there will ever be another one like her.

I guess that is why this past year has been so hard. That little lady carried me home from the hospital when I was born. That little lady was by my side almost every day for the last five years of her life. That little lady was there for every holiday and supported me at all of my sporting events in high school and college. That little lady was my idol. I can only strive to be half as good as my little lady was. I love and miss you sweet Gram.

In Family

Therapy

February 15, 2022 2 Comments

Therapy “is the treatment of a physical, cognitive, or behavioral disorder or illness.” People go to physical therapy all of the time to help with functional mobility. Many people participate in some form of physical fitness to keep their bodies healthy. Yet, people are afraid or feel there is a stigma around going to a psychologist, social worker, or counselor to get help with their mental health.

I am so blessed that I grew up in a generation and had friends who are open to therapy. Many people I know want to be the best person they can be both physically and mentally. And sometimes therapy is needed to become that person.

Seeing a professional isn’t the only way to stay healthy mentally. If you do decide to seek extra help you don’t have to stay forever. You can join a church group or participate in an online forum. You can have ladies’ night once a month, you can meditate, or write in a journal. There are many ways to keep your mind healthy. And these things may work for you most of the time, but there may be a time or two when you need a little extra support.

Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash

Although I have many wonderful friends that I can talk to and who help me work through things I struggle with, there is nothing like a good therapist. That person is there to listen only to you. She or he may give advice and help you work through the issues by asking leading questions, but they are there for YOU and to support YOU. Therapy for me is my time to be me. To cry if I want to. To laugh. To be mad at someone. It gives me the opportunity to evaluate my feelings by actually saying them aloud. Then I can determine if my feelings are really fair or if I need to change my perspective.

It is hard sometimes to go to therapy, and it may be scary. Sometimes you realize you are projecting your feelings and insecurities onto others. Sometimes you over-evaluate a situation that another person hasn’t thought about since it happened. Sometimes in your head, it may sound rationale but as soon as you say it aloud to someone else, it sounds completely different. Personally, I love having someone to talk through situations with and evaluate how I should be reacting to them. Because honestly although it hurts your heart sometimes you just gotta shake it off!

Whether you believe in therapy or not, I hope you take a little time each day, week, or month to give yourself a little grace and to take a moment to work on yourself and your mental health. Read a motivating passage, write in a journal, or take a walk and feel some sunshine on your face. Do something for yourself and just be.

Photo by Marcel Strauß on Unsplash

In Family

My Valentine

February 8, 2022 No Comments

February. A month of love. A time to celebrate those around you who mean so much to you. A month to start looking forward to spring and getting out of the dark cold winter months. A time to celebrate your Valentine.

It’s hard to believe that I met my Valentine and his wingwoman five years ago on February 11th. I was the new girl at CrossFit Thoroughbreds as you read in our three-part series of How We Met.

When I think back to how it all happened, it was just meant to be. All of the stars had to align for us to meet. If all of those circumstances didn’t line up, I don’t know how or if Jeff and I would have met. And where would we both be today?

The problem with fate is that we don’t even know what is happening until all the cards fall into place. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we need to do and achieve that we don’t take time to enjoy the ride. We get caught up in what we want to strive for next. And sometimes we just need to relax and let what’s meant to be, happen.

I, of course, do not know how Jeff and I would have met had Gram not broken her hip, had we not picked that week to go to Florida, had I not picked that CrossFit gym. What I do know is how grateful I am for the opportunity to go to Thailand, to take care of Gram, to spend the last five years of her life with her, and how grateful I am that she led me to my Valentine.

My Valentine. How I got so lucky I will never know. This guy treated Gram like his own. He loved her with all of his heart and was so patient with her. He persuaded her to do so many things when she wanted to be stubborn and just stay at home. He cared so deeply for her and for me. He tried to do whatever he could to make my job easier and make Gram happier and more comfortable.

If you have spent time with my Valentine you know he is really just about enjoying life. He will fly all night at work then come home, sleep a few hours and be ready for the company arriving the next day. He enjoys celebrating any occasion with others and can’t wait to see his friends at ski week or anywhere else.

Have a wonderful Valentine’s Day. Take this month to celebrate you, your loved one, your friends, and your family!

In Family

Grow Up

February 1, 2022 No Comments

My husband sent me an article called “3 Signs You Are Growing Old Instead of Growing Up” from one of the subscriptions he gets from All Pro Dad. All Pro Dad is a great website for inspiration on how to deal with different situations with your children. Although the website focuses more on men (and dads in particular), I think it can be read by all. We are all growing older, every day. So what do we want to do with our lives going forward? What are our goals for the remainder of our lives? And once we achieve them do we just stop or chase another dream or goal? Or are we satisfied and become complacent? How can we grow up instead of just growing old?

“A good way to grow up instead of growing old is to get out of your comfort zone.”

The quote above says it all. No matter how old or young you are, get out of your comfort zone. Try something new or scary. Be willing to take the leap of faith. Do what you are passionate about. Show your children, your family, or your friends that you are willing to try something that may make you uncomfortable. Grow your soul.

I have a friend who cannot swim. She is afraid of the water but she has put herself out of her comfort zone several times. She enjoys being on the water on a boat and even has a trip planned to spend six days on a catamaran sailing the British Virgin Islands. I am so proud and excited for her. If she wasn’t willing to put herself out there (with a lifejacket of course), she would miss out on the most beautiful waters and sites of the islands. How fun is that?

Jeff and I try to keep our relationship alive and young by complementing each other, staying active, and eating healthy. We want to stay sexy for each other, stay active and athletic so we can leap out of our comfort zone as we get older. We want to be able to try new things like skiing (for me), scuba diving (for us both), or hiking no matter how old we are in years. The more active we stay, the more active we can be as we age. If we become complacent in our lifestyle, those things may not be as easy, and we may not be as motivated to try new things. And anyone who knows me knows I have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), so I definitely don’t want to grow old!

Wherever you are in your life, don’t be afraid to try new things. Pray on it. Make a list of pros and cons. Get out there and live. Life is too short. Be an inspiration for your partner. Be an inspiration for your children and grandchildren. Get out there and grow up, not old!

Photo by Razvan Chisu on Unsplash