believe in yourself Archives - Page 26 of 27 - Inspired & Strong

Honestly, I know it should be somewhat of a relief. I should be excited to have no responsibility, but I feel lost without Gram. She has always been a huge part of my life. It all started the day I was born. My Dad was not able to be there because he was in the Army and deployed to Korea. Therefore, Gram was the one with my mom at the hospital, and she was the one who carried me home. Gram was a constant in my life. She lived three blocks away, she was at most of my athletic events, and she was there for all the important dates like Prom and Homecoming.

My Grandparents supported my move to California when I felt I needed to get out of my small town. They came all the way out to visit me with our foreign exchange student Marja. Gramps was so excited to go to Dodger Stadium for a baseball game and Dodger Dog. I showed them around Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and San Bernandino.

Once I moved to Richmond, my grandparents again made many trips up and down the interstate to visit. We saw each other for holidays, birthdays, and random times in between. When I decided to quit my job and move to Thailand, Gram was sad to see me leave but was one of my biggest supporters.

Even though she was my grandmother and had been a part of my life since I was born, these past five years were different. Our relationship became so much more. At first, when she was more independent, she was my partner in crime. We did everything together. It was nice to have someone to keep me company. We went shopping, we traveled up and down the East Coast, and of course, we drove to the nearest ice cream shop. We weren’t in a hurry and we weren’t trying to meet deadlines or set any records. We just went where we wanted to go when we wanted to go. Gram rarely complained. She was always up for a ride in the car. She loved my little convertible EOS. And I usually loved her by my side except when she would say some embarrassingly loud comment about the “geezer” getting gas at the pump next to us in his fancy convertible. Oh, gram.

After a while, she became a little more dependent on me, and then it seemed she became more like the child I never had. I got to know her really well. I knew what she liked to eat, what she was about to say, when she had to go to the bathroom, and what color she wanted on her nails. I imagine this is what having a three-year-old is like 🙂 But I loved having this little lady by my side. She smiled, she laughed, and she just went with the flow. She never had a whole lot to say but every now and again that little lady would make me laugh so hard. Some of my fondest memories and best pieces of advice came In the Bathroom with Gram. Because my grandmother knew me almost as well as I knew her, she would tell my mom and my friends that we can’t tell Stacy how much we like Jeff or she won’t like him. She was his biggest fan and of course, I became his biggest fan, too.

So six weeks after her passing, here I am, lost without Gram. I miss her advice. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss my sidekick.

For five years, I worked odd jobs even though my biggest job was caring for Gram. I just felt like I needed to do something. I needed to have a “job”. I don’t know why I felt defined by my “job” but for some reason, it has always mattered to me. It’s the first question people ask when you meet them. I realized how lost without Gram I was at our last ski week. We met new friends on the mountain and everyone had a job. Some were in real estate, some in film and of course, most of mine were pilots. Then someone asked me, “What do you do?”. Hmmm, what was I going to say? I wasn’t an educator anymore, I wasn’t a caregiver anymore, I wasn’t a realtor anymore. Who was I? I felt like I didn’t have an identity. I was just a pilot’s wife being a ski bum on a beautiful mountain.

I know I am a strong, independent woman with the most amazing husband. I know I am an aunt and I love those little ones so much. I know I am a travel junkie and can’t wait for more amazing adventures. But what do I say? What do I do now? I guess it’s ok to take the time to figure that out, but it’s hard, and it honestly has me a little lost without Gram. One wonderful friend of mine suggested I say something like “After five years of caregiving, I am taking some time to enjoy my husband and my marriage while I figure out my next adventure.” And that is amazing advice but it’s so hard to be patient and to not feel a little lost.

I know I am on a new journey and right now even though I am lost without Gram, I do believe something exciting and meaningful will come my way. I will never forget my time with Gram or the memories I made with her. She left me on this Earth a better person than I was five years ago and for that, I will forever be grateful. I am excited to see what this next chapter of my life will bring and maybe my husband and I won’t feel so lost without Gram. Maybe we will be led by Gram to new adventures, new memories together, and new times to cherish. I am surrounded by one amazing, loving, supportive husband and several wonderful friends and family members. Whatever will be is meant to be, and I have to have faith that all my angels above will lead us in the right direction.

In Inspiration

Unique

April 1, 2021 No Comments

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

–Margaret Mead

In Inspiration

Life

March 31, 2021 No Comments

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

–John Lennon

In Inspiration

Time is Limited

March 29, 2021 No Comments

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.”

–Steve Jobs

In Inspiration

Get Started

March 26, 2021 No Comments

“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”

–Walt Disney

In Inspiration

Greatest Glory

March 25, 2021 No Comments

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

–Nelson Mandela

In Inspiration

Rest

March 24, 2021 No Comments

“How sweet is rest after fatigue! How sweet will heaven be when our journey is ended.”

– George Whitefield

In Pilot's Wife

Dreams

March 16, 2021 No Comments

My husband is a huge Sammy Hagar fan. He’s seen him several times in concert over the years and has taken me a few times. The first time I saw Sammy was in California on the beach. We met up with Jeff’s cousins and had a blast! The weather was perfect. We also found our way into the VIP area for some free drinks and food, which was a great treat.

The next time I saw Sammy was in Cabo San Lucas at his annual birthday bash. We went to meet up with one of Jeff’s buddies there. We enjoyed some time by the pool and the all-inclusive resort. Jeff and I did some dancing in the evenings and saw Sammy play at Cabo Wabo. It was a small intimate venue.

Once I realized Sammy used to be the lead singer for Van Halen I found several songs I knew and loved. Therefore, before the concert, I downloaded some Van Halen songs and started listening. My favorite song became “Dreams.” I don’t know why, but I love that song. I love the words, the meaning, and especially the ending which goes like this…. “So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you’ve cried, ohh, that’s what dreams are made of, Ohh, baby we belong in a world that must be strong, ohh, that’s what dreams are made of, and in the end on dreams we will depend, cause that’s what love is made of”

Even though I am the worst singer in the world, I LOVE singing. When we first installed the Sonos system in our house, I turned the music on from my bed and turned it up soooo loud and sang along. Yep, you guessed it, the very first song ever played on our system was “Dreams.” I was so happy to have it playing throughout the house. When I have a few adult beverages, the tunes become louder and higher as does my voice!

It really is quite awful but for some reason, I go into my own little world when this song comes on, and I pretend I am a Rockstar. I feel bad for my poor husband and friends who have to endure this performance over and over. But I am extremely grateful for some of my girlfriends who come into my world and rock out with me! One friend, we can call her “Fun Amy”, and I dance our faces off giggling, laughing, and singing at the top of our lungs. Fun Amy is my karaoke partner, my dance on the bar partner, my dance in the middle of the Key West Express partner, and my dance on the kitchen island then jump into the pool partner.

My other girlfriend, Kelly, also enjoys singing Dreams with me. We have sung on a barstool together, in her husband’s truck, and at ski week. This song and these friendships mean the world to me. Yes, when I truly think about it, I know I should be embarrassed and should never open my mouth to sing (or dance for that matter) again, but every once in a while you need to realize life is too short, be wild, be happy, and have some fun!

In Pilot's Wife

How We Met- Part 1

February 8, 2021 No Comments

As you read in, The Broken Hip, Gram broke her hip in December 2016 but by February she was making great strides. We left the snow for the sun and ended up at her condo in Fort Myers.

Since I had just started CrossFit, I googled CrossFit gyms near the condo. I found a few and decided on CrossFit Thoroughbreds. I took a few CrossFit classes and met some great people and instructors. It was my first time dropping into other boxes, and I fell in love with the CrossFit community. On Saturday, February 11, 2017, I decided to try Boot Camp. After class, I met two amazing people who would significantly impact my life. One would later become my husband and the other one gave me the tools and the support to start this blog. (Their stories of “how we met” will be published this week. Stay Tuned!)

I arrived at Boot Camp a little early and was stretching and warming up. I observed a man and woman having a conversation about what seemed to be some kitchen renovations and possibly an ex. They both talked fairly loud so it was easy to eavesdrop 🙂 They seemed to be very good friends who had a history of being there for each other. I was intrigued by their conversation and wanted to know more about both of them. The guy was good looking, and he seemed like he was about my age, but I can never tell. Plus, he had on a hat and you never know what’s underneath that! They both had great figures and looked like they were dedicated athletes.

During the workout, they were partners while I was in another group. I remember it being a pretty tough workout with push-ups and running. I also remember looking out of the corner of my eye to see how good of an athlete this guy was. I found they both worked hard and were impressive in their moves.

After class, the woman, who was sitting next to the man, said hi to me and asked if I was new to town. I explained I was only there for about two weeks and was taking care of my grandmother. I told them I had friends coming to town that night so they gave me some suggestions on where to take them. The guy mentioned he had some time off from work and wanted to know if I wanted to meet him the next day and go to the beach. Because I am a Yes Woman I didn’t hesitate to say it sounded like a fabulous idea. We chatted a few more minutes and before we parted ways, Eleina, the amazing wing woman, said how can he contact you without your number. I laughed and probably rolled my eyes. In the end, we exchanged numbers and the rest is history 🙂

I still find it hard to believe that quitting my job in 2015 led me back to my hometown which led me to caregiving for Gram which led me to CrossFit which in turn led me to my prince. I would not have met my husband if I hadn’t taken that leap of faith. And I wouldn’t have found him if God hadn’t placed me right where I needed to be at that moment.

This week is dedicated to our story of how we met four years ago this week. No, it wasn’t love at first sight and no, we didn’t start dating right away because we were in two different states. But we met and that was just the beginning.

Jeff, my husband, and Eleina, the wing woman will be writing posts Tuesday and Thursday of how our first meeting went from their perspectives. Check them out!

In Pilot's Wife

My Prince

January 26, 2021 4 Comments

My Prince… Finally! After All Those Frogs

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Stacy. Her mom read her princess stories like Cinderella and Snow White. She watched movies like 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club. She believed in love and believed one day she would find her Prince.

The High School Years

Stacy “liked” boys in grade school, but it was grade school so it wasn’t anything serious. In 7^thgrade, she was swept away by an older guy, and they were together for three years. While she had a great experience with him, she missed out on dances and a lot of girly things during those middle school years. During high school, she dated on and off but was more interested in hanging with her friends, especially her best friend, Missy, than anything else. She wanted to be free to discover and experience all high school had to offer.

The College Years

In college, Stacy thought for sure she would find “her prince”. She dated a guy for about a year, but it just didn’t work out. After that, she continued to enjoy her friends and all the experiences college had to offer.

After college, she moved to California and then to Virginia. Stacy dated here and there, but she was one of those girls who would rather do what she wanted to do rather than be in a relationship and have to compromise. She just couldn’t be with someone who annoyed her within the first month. So she stayed single and enjoyed life.

The Richmond Years

When she was 23, she met a guy and thought maybe this was her prince. They spent a couple of years together, got married, then got divorced. Nope, just another frog. After that, Stacy started reading a blog called “The Spinsterlicious Life” because that clearly seemed to be the path she was on. In one of the posts, Eleonore Wells wrote about how there are relationship people and there are single people. She said you are either better at being annoyed (in relationships) or you are better at being lonely (single).

That post rang true to Stacy. She discovered she definitely was a single person. She realized all this time of dating that she was just better at being lonely than being annoyed. It made so much sense! Therefore, she played sports, she traveled, and she spent time with friends and family. She was still on her journey to find her prince, but she wasn’t sure he was going to find her.

The Best Years

Once she started caregiving for Gram, she really wondered if there was anyone out there. Who would take on her, let alone her, her grandmother, and a cat? She decided there probably wasn’t a lot of hope so she made a commitment to enjoy herself, the opportunities that presented themselves, and her time with Gram.

Then it happened. She met him. Instead of pushing things too hard or worrying too much, she tried to have the motto “if it’s meant to be it will be”. She hoped it would be, but she also knew her life circumstances may prevent that.

Funny how just the opposite happened. Her life circumstances led her to him. And enabled her to spend more time with him than her previous life circumstances would have allowed. She found a guy who was willing AND able to make the distance between them short. She found a guy who was willing to love her, her grandmother, and the cat(mostly)! She found a guy who somehow loved her for her. She didn’t pretend to be anyone else. She found a guy who was willing to listen. She found someone who loved many of the same things she did…traveling, working out, eating right, being outside, boating, trying new things, and striving to be better every day. She found her Prince!

Stacy is so blessed to be where she is today. To be with a man who loves her with his whole heart and who tries every day to make her life a little easier. To be able to care for her Grandmother who makes her day brighter by making some funny comments in the bathroom. To be able to live in two different states and have amazing friends and family in both. To be able to pursue her dream and write this blog. To be able to tell you, you might have to kiss a lot of frogs but someday you WILL find your Prince.