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In Family

Mothers

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Mothers. Mothers. Mothers. They come in all shapes and sizes. Biological mothers, adoptive mothers, stepmothers, fur baby mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers. Some people have wonderful relationships with their mothers and some have no relationship at all.

The definition of a mother starts with one who gives birth, adopts, or raises a child. But being a mother is more than just giving birth or raising a child. It is teaching your children right from wrong. It is giving them opportunities to explore their own wants and needs. It is letting them experience a little bit of life on their own while they are young so that when they grow up they have the tools needed to succeed.

Now the definition of success may mean different things to different people. And sometimes what you want your child to succeed in doesn’t meet your expectations. Maybe you wanted your child to have babies so you could be a grandma but that didn’t happen. Maybe you wanted your child to go to college and they didn’t. Maybe you wanted them to build a house on the same farm you grew up on and they moved away. When expectations are not met, it can be very hard on relationships. And disappointment can set in.

Most mothers want more for their children than they do for themselves. They want to see their children happy. They want to see their children reaching for and achieving their dreams. They are the cheerleaders behind their children. They are there to pick them up and brush them off when they fall. They are there to tell them everything is going to be alright. And sometimes the mothers need to tell themselves that from time to time. And most importantly, mothers need to take care of themselves first so they can be the best caretakers to others.

In any situation, we need to embrace the positive. Check out these 21 Characteristics of a Good Mother. Take a moment to click on the link. Not only can it help you in motherhood but just overall in being a good human being.

“If we are not happy, then we can’t expect them to be either. A good mom is one who is always positive and looks on the bright side of things. This doesn’t mean that she is always happy, but she can find something good in every situation.”

Find your positives and embrace them in every situation. Happy Tuesday and Happy Mother’s Day Week!

Photo by Xavier Mouton Photographie on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

 

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In Fitness and Nutrition

Alcohol

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“I’ve influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I’ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

‘Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I’m medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You’ll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol”

The lyrics above are from Brad Paisley’s song “Alcohol“.  Alcohol can definitely make you do some crazy things. It also can do some destruction to your body. Eight weeks ago I decided to quit drinking alcohol. My body needed a break. I felt bloated. My eyes looked tired. I didn’t feel good. My body hurt. I felt lazy. I felt like I had been on a drinking binge for over three months. Most people enjoy having a few drinks with their friends. Our problem is our friends and social life never end. Therefore, neither does the alcohol. We go skiing, so we drink. We have friends in town, so we drink. We go out on the boat, so we drink. Most people take breaks between big events but most times we have a new set of friends in town so the fun (and alcohol) keeps flowing.

This year it started in December. Jeff took some vacation time so we went on a ski week to Copper Mountain. Then we had Christmas and friends in town for New Year’s Eve. Then we had another ski week in Taos and when we returned to town more friends were here. February was filled with friends visiting from out of town throughout the whole month with the last week spent with four friends in the Keys with the Harley. As I look back on the year, I realize that between vacations, Jeff’s work schedule, and friends in town Jeff and I only had about eight days alone in our home.

It was March 2 which happened to be Ash Wednesday. I figured it was the old Catholic in me and a sign from Heaven that told me, “Stacy, it’s the perfect time to give something up”. And.Just.Like.That. I decided I needed to take a break from drinking. I also realized there were eight more weeks of Dream Team left. If you have been following my blog then you know that when I was living in Pennsylvania I became involved in the Dream Team contest which happens every year. It’s 16 weeks of dialing in your eating and becoming a little more strict with your lifestyle. Since 2017, I have been following the nutrition plan that I learned from Bill Lawrence’s Personal Fitness. Personally, I follow the program year-round. There are times I just become a little more strict than others. I decided to do my own eight-week dream team which would take me right at the May 1 weekend when we would be leaving for vacation to the British Virgin Islands.

The first week wasn’t too bad of a challenge. We had two concerts. I decided to just take it one day at a time. On the fourth day, I made it through the Sammy Hagar concert that we attended with one of Jeff’s high school buddies and his fiance. That night my husband told me he was so proud of me for not drinking. It really hit me and gave me increased motivation to keep going.

I was pretty nervous about the upcoming ski week. I have been attending ski weeks for over four years and not one of them has been sober. Everyone ended up being really supportive. It definitely was a different experience with no alcohol, but it was really fun all the same! I skied well, went to the gym a few times, felt great at night, and even sneaked in a dessert for dinner 🙂 I ended up having a few non-alcoholic beers on the mountain and felt just as much a part of the group as if I had a regular beer in my hand.

Once I made it through ski week, I knew I could make it through anything! I realized I didn’t NEED alcohol to have a good time or to be out and about. I realized drinking is a social thing for us. The problem is we are SOOOO social that drinking becomes an almost everyday thing.

My husband was the most supportive being. It meant the world to me to have his support and encouragement. Halfway through my experiment, he could see the changes in my face, my energy, and my body. Therefore, he decided to quit too, and even though he only gave up drinking for 30 days, he felt better about his workouts, body, and energy level. We did this together and it means the world to me. We both can see a few abs, and we love it!

alcohol us

Over the last eight weeks, I realized I can do things without alcohol. I went on a ski week and had a great time. I even tried a few non-alcoholic beers. I never understood why people drank those until I quit drinking. During social events, everyone has a drink in their hand. And most times water just isn’t going to cut it. When you have that can or bottle in your hand you feel a part of the group. It’s definitely a mental thing but just having a “beer” in my hand made me feel ok.

Everyone was so supportive over my eight-week journey. I found that no one really cares whether or not I drank alcohol. I found that I still laugh, I still enjoy my friends, and I am more aware of what is going on around me! My workouts were better and I felt great overall. I lost 5.4 pounds and .8% body fat.

alcohol body pics

Over the eight weeks, I ate as we normally eat in our lifestyle. I did sneak in a few desserts and ice cream the first few weeks. But then I decided to get a little more strict because I knew I wanted to look good in that bikini in the British Virgin Islands in May.

So if you are struggling with alcohol and feel like you need a break, just take it one day at a time. It actually became really fun for me. Some people didn’t think I could do it so I had to prove them wrong! And I am so glad I did. I had to prove to myself I didn’t need the alcohol. So now the challenge becomes pacing myself!

Featured photo by Adam Wilson on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In Family

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

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Mitchell Tenpenny’s new song called Horseshoes and Hand Grenades is the inspiration for this post. The first time I heard the chorus it brought tears to my eyes. Jeff and I were driving, and I just wanted to burst into tears. Instead of letting my tears fall, I held back. I am not sure why. I guess I felt like Jeff wouldn’t understand. He would be confused as to why I just started crying for apparently no reason. He never met my dad so he wouldn’t know that one of my dad’s favorite sayings was  “close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” Therefore, the song brought back memories of him and all the hurt I feel that he is gone.

I am not sure why my dad liked that saying so much. Maybe because we played sports, and we would say “that was close.” And he would say “close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.” And it wouldn’t count. What he meant is it doesn’t matter if you are “close” to hitting your target or “close” to winning the game. In the end, you still missed or lost. Therefore, “close” doesn’t count except in the game of horseshoes, which I have never played so I am not sure I truly understand! But what my dad wanted from us was to work harder and be better.

dad in army gearI miss my dad so much. Next month it will be 10 years since he left this Earth. He was one of the most amazing people that I know. He was the baby of six children and from what I understand, he didn’t have the best childhood. I was told he was a great basketball player, but also a bit of a rebel. I think he got into drinking and smoking at a pretty young age. My mom fell for him, and they got married shortly after high school. She must have seen his true heart through his tough exterior. One of my dad’s best friends recruited him into the Army, and like many in that generation he went. I was born two years later. After serving four years and being stationed in various places, we returned to our small hometown. My parents made a wonderful life for my sister and me. We grew up in a small rural town where we still have the strongest ties to amazing family and friends, which is why Jeff and I decided to buy Gram’s House.

I guess every little girl thinks their dad can do no wrong, especially when they lose them at 36 years old. After surviving his childhood, building a life for his family, and working two careers after the plant in our town shut down, he got diagnosed with lung cancer at age 51. My dad was so strong and possibly so stubborn that he fought that damn cancer for nine years. He continued to work and drive for hours a day. He went to chemo and radiation and fought so hard that he was able to walk my sister down the aisle even after his lung collapsed. How he did it I will never know. He never seemed to get down, and he never showed us that he was scared. He was so strong. Some days it seems so unfair. It seems he fought his whole life and then his sweet life ended at 60.

horsehoes dad and sister

So, when the Horseshoes and Hand Grenades song came on it took me back to my childhood. It took me back to all the amazing memories of my dad. Even though it brought tears to my eyes and made me sad that he isn’t here to share my life with now, I am grateful that that song made me think of him. I am thankful to have the memories and that those memories came back to me for a little while that day and almost every day.

As you know I love therapy and thinking back to that moment in the car, I do wish I would have let my emotions go. We are so accustomed to hiding our feelings, especially sadness from other people. We are taught by society that we need to be strong and not cry. Sometimes holding back can make your pain worse. We do need to give in to the tears and sometimes we just need to have a really good cry.

When something triggers an emotional memory for you, try to take the time to recognize the pain. Let the tears flow if you can. I have attached an article on how not crying can be harmful to your physical and mental health. Sometimes you need to postpone a cry. Pull yourself together for the moment but then let yourself go when you feel comfortable. We also need to recognize that even if triggers make us sad for a moment, don’t let them pull us down the emotional rabbit hole. We do need to pull ourselves back together. If we can’t then professional help may be needed.

In the end, thank God for the trigger and for the memories. Be thankful that for a moment in this fast-paced life of ours you took a few minutes to stop and remember your loved one. Then wipe the tears from your eyes and live your life to the fullest like your loved one would want you to.

Photo by Jeff Smith on Unsplash

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In Family

Easter

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I hope you had an amazing Easter weekend. It seems to be a holiday that some people just pass over. It has become the time when schools, kids, and parents are looking forward to spring break instead of celebrating the true meaning of Easter.

Easter is the day that Jesus rose from the dead after his burial three days before. We celebrate in the Christian Church and growing up Catholic meant we spent a lot of time in Church. In our area, we only had three days off from school around Easter weekend. The days were Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Monday. Most schools now give a week around Easter for Spring Break. And I think it’s great that families can take the time to travel to visit other family members and celebrate together.

easter jesus on stained glass

Photo by Paul Zoetemeijer on Unsplash

Easter is really a beautiful time of reflection and peace. It means that the weather is turning and Spring is coming (depending on where you live!). When I was younger, we colored Easter eggs with Gram and Gramps and had a wonderful Easter dinner on Sunday. My parents hid our Easter baskets so we had to search the house high and low to find the Pulakos chocolate bunny. I always started with the ears and then went to the tail. Of course, I had to dip my bunny in peanut butter. It was soooooo good! I would just eat a little piece every day so it would last as long as possible. It was the best treat! We also got little chocolate eggs that were the perfect size to pop in your mouth. As I got older and moved away from the Erie area I came to love Cadbury mini eggs with the hard shell, and my parents would get me a bag whenever we got together around the holiday.

Many of our adult Easters were spent in Virginia. My sister and I both lived there, therefore, my parents would come down from northwest Pennsylvania. Because we had a week off, I would go get the grandparents from the condo in Fort Myers, and we would all meet in Virginia to go to church and have Easter dinner. Once my sister had children, we would go to her house to watch the kids go on egg hunts in their backyard. They were so excited.

It’s hard to believe that five years ago was my last Easter with my sister. On one hand, it seems like so long ago. On the other, it seems like just yesterday. That Easter I would never have imagined it would be her last. She was strong. She was happy. I didn’t see it coming just a short month later. I was blindsided.

easter with sis and family in RVA

So now even though Easter is a wonderful time of year it’s also a sad one for our family. April was the last month we had with her. Easter was our last holiday together. Spring, a time of new beginnings, is a time when we lost so much. I miss her every day, but the holidays are the worst. Oh how much I wish she was still here.

Many times we are so disheartened and saddened by the passing of a loved one that it’s hard to move on. And I suppose I could let myself cry every day. But I need to realize life must go on. There was some reason she was needed in Heaven. I have to believe that we will see her again someday, and we will have an eternity together. Until then, I need to count the blessings that I do have on this Earth.

This year Jeff and I were together in Fort Myers. And as soon as we woke up and walked into the kitchen a cardinal flew in and sat on one of our lounge chairs across the pool. It was a beautiful red bird, and I felt so loved and blessed. I said, “Jeff, look someone came to say Happy Easter.” It made me feel amazing for the rest of the day. I am not sure which family member it was, but it made my heart so happy. You may not believe in signs from Heaven but I do. It gives me a sense that they are still here and watching over us.

Jeff’s friend from college and his wife were in town for the weekend. We took them boating on Saturday. Then we had brunch on Sunday and sat by the pool as we listened to mass on our Sonos sound system. It was a beautiful day in Fort Myers and such a nice relaxing day. We called and talked to the kids (our niece and nephew) as they were just getting back from church and eating breakfast. They were so excited for Easter Day. Our eldest son was working so he could not come home. For our Easter dinner, we had salmon, salad, and stuffed mushrooms with our youngest son, who was home from college for the last time before graduating. Then the three of us watched the Tampa Bay Rays baseball game and finished with a little treat of ice cream from Rita’s Ice. It was the perfect ending to a beautiful Easter day.

easter with our son

I hope you had a wonderful weekend with your families and/or friends. I hope you had a chance to give some praise to God for his only son. I hope you set aside some time to call your family and friends and tell them how much they mean to you. I hope even if you have lost loved ones you can see the beauty in all the blessings around you.

Featured Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

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In Weekly Wednesday Words

Weekly Wednesday Words

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Hello, my Wednesday Warriors! I have decided that there are enough Weekly Wednesday Workouts on the blog for you to get started on your fitness journey. If you need a workout or ideas, please email, call, text, Facebook message, or Instagram me for ideas. I would be happy to come up with a workout to fit your needs.

Therefore, Wednesday will now be devoted to Weekly Wednesday Words. It may be a quote for the week to inspire you in the work environment, as a parent, or in fitness. It may be a devotion giving you the strength to make it through the rest of the week. Anyway, instead of daily inspirations, there will be one per week.

Again, if you follow and love my blog, please make sure you are following me on social media. Also, please share it with your friends. I’d love to inspire more people with your help.

Today’s quote is one of my absolute favorites, and we need to remember this as we journey through our lives together. All in all, just be kind.

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
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In Adventures with Gram

Letter to Gram II (Change)

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Today’s post is a continuation of my Letter to Gram. If you are jumping in, head on back to that first post about how writing a letter to your loved one can be therapeutic. This letter is the second part of my letter to Gram and about how much changed that first year I had the opportunity to take care of her.

Dear Gram,

Our journey continues. After 16 years in Richmond, I needed a change. I was not happy with my job or the dating scene. I met a friend of a friend who was moving to Thailand to teach English. It sounded like something that I just needed to do. I had the same feeling in my stomach as when I moved to California. I just knew I had to go.

As I was considering moving to Thailand, Grandpa voiced his opinion and didn’t really want me to go. He was about to turn 90, and I think he was scared he wouldn’t make it until my return. Maybe he knew his health was failing. He had been in and out of the hospital the year prior with his congestive heart failure, but he always bounced back. I don’t remember you telling me not to go. I only remember your support and you probably told me Gary and Shar used to live there, too! I think you were excited for me to go on a crazy adventure, and I couldn’t wait to see the world.

Even though I was only gone three months, I did miss Grandpa’s 90th birthday bash, and I am really sorry that I did. He was so happy and many of his old players and students came back for the occasion. Mom did FaceTime me so I did get to see you dancing with the toy soldier and got to be a part of some of the celebration.

letter to gram, nephew in a car seatI also missed the beautiful birth of my nephew. I knew there would never be a time that I wouldn’t miss something so I will never regret going to Thailand and gaining all that I experienced. But I also wish I could have been in two places at the same time. (of course! I am a Yes, Woman!)

I ended up coming back from Thailand for Christmas to see the family and my new nephew who was only 19 days old. That Christmas of 2015, Gramps got sick. My sister asked him if he wanted to go to the emergency room and he said yes. So off we went. He had fluid built up around his lungs and ended up having a longer stay than any of us wanted. I remember you not wanting to leave his side, and I wish I would have talked the staff into letting us both stay to be with him. I didn’t realize how much you felt the need to be there until I was the one who wanted to stay with you in the hospital room. I am sorry that we didn’t let you stay. I know the staff said it was a liability, and we didn’t want you to fall and get hurt either, but I finally realized how much you truly wanted to be there. And how lonely the hospital room can be.

After a week of Gramps being in the hospital, we all decided I wasn’t going back to Thailand. I had some wonderful adventures and saw nine new countries including Germany, Finland, Sweden, and The Netherlands so I decided I would stay home and spend time with you and Gramps. My house in Richmond was rented until September, and I was unemployed. Gramps spent a month in rehab while you and I stayed with mom. Finally, we decided to take Grandpa back home to Pennsylvania with Hospice Care. It was going to be a big change, but I would move in and be there for you both.

We made it home and my cousin across the street helped me get Gramps in the house. It was not an easy task, and I am not sure how we did it. Grandpa was so upset that we weren’t in your condo in Florida and once he saw the hospital bed in the living room, he seemed deflated. I think maybe it was his last wish to be in sunny Florida before he passed on.

My mom came up a few days later but after a week, Grandpa’s body couldn’t fight anymore. We called the priest in for the anointing of the sick and all prayed together with my sister on the phone. The next morning, he faded out and was gone. I am sorry, Grandpa, that I was not there to hold your hand as you headed toward the light. And I am sorry, Gram, that you barely made it to tell him you loved him one more time. It seemed to happen so fast, and I hate that we were not all there for him in those final moments.

That week was full of preparations. We planned with the funeral home and family started arriving in town. Although it was great to see everyone, it was sad, sad circumstances. After the dust settled, it was just you and me. I wasn’t sure if you would last two days, two months, or two years, without him. You just lost your best friend, and I wasn’t sure you knew what to do next.

It was February 2016. We just lost Gramps. It was snowing. I didn’t have a job yet therefore, letter to gram 2 stacy and gram in eoswe made fires, watched the snowfall, and watched black and white movies all day. We didn’t go out in the cold if we didn’t have to. About a month later, my high school girlfriends talked me into volunteer coaching for the high school softball team. Then one of my college girlfriends offered me a job at a local dairy isle. What a change from the field of education! We had a wonderful summer once the weather turned. We zoomed around town in my little convertible EOS, watching softball games, eating ice cream, drinking wine, and going out to eat at our favorite restaurant, Venango Valley. I reconnected with high school and college friends and was enjoying being with you and being back in my hometown.

Then December came and you broke your hip (the first time). I couldn’t let what happened to Gramps happen to you so I vowed to be with you 24/7 and I broke you loose from the rehab center. Once you were back home, your spirits picked right up, your attitude changed and you were walking around the house with your walker in no time. You became more dependent on me, but I was just happy you were doing well.

That February, after your fall, we both were sad and depressed because of the weather, and we were tired of being cooped up in the house. We needed a change. Therefore, we took off for Florida. It was perfect timing because that is when I met my Prince. You seemed to like him right from the start and that was the beginning of more crazy adventures, but now there was three of us.

letter to gram the three of us

Making the change and being able to take care of you led me to so many wonderful things in life. I reconnected with amazing friends and got to spend more time with them. I also met new friends who grew to love you and your presence. And of course, I met my husband. We all miss you more than you know.

(to be continued…)

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

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In How We Move

7 Rounds of 7 Chest

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Equipment Needed

  • dumbbells

Weekly Wednesday Workout

In today’s workout, you will do three rounds of 7 rounds of 7 reps of three chest exercises. Rest as needed in between each round.

Movements for each round:

  • 7 push-ups
  • 7 bench press(together or each arm)
  • 7 flys (together or each arm)

How to Do the Moves

For the video of movements click here. Remember there are always modifications. Let me know if you need help or suggestions. Don’t forget the warm-up. Make this workout work for you!

Photo by James Barr on Unsplash

Stay Strong & Be Inspired, Stacy

 

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