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The Netherlands

April 13, 2021 No Comments

If you have been following me since the beginning of the blog (August 2020), then you know I left for an amazing adventure in the fall of 2015. I have written about Germany, Finland, and Sweden. Now on to the next leg of my trip. The Netherlands.

I hugged Marja goodbye and boarded the plane in Helsinki and was off to my next stop. I was now headed to the Netherlands to visit my friend Susana, with whom I graduated and who was a foreign exchange student from Spain. Susana, her husband, and her two adorable children were right there waiting for me in Amsterdam.

We had dinner at the airport and then headed back to their house. They lived about an hour from the airport in a cute little townhouse. Although it had been 21 years since we had seen each other, Susana and I stayed up talking for hours just like no time had passed! The next day we went to pick up a friend of mine from Richmond who was meeting us there. Susana showed us all around Amsterdam. The three of us had an amazing day. We tried not to get run over by all the passing bicycles (which is extremely difficult) because the bikers are everywhere!! The bicycle parking by the train stations is just insane and was something I couldn’t even believe. It also made me realize what a wonderful place Amsterdam was that people enjoyed being outside and riding their bikes everywhere.

We ate some wonderful food at open-air restaurants, saw the Amsterdam sign, the oldest wooden house in Amsterdam, and some infamous “coffee shops”. (For more pictures, click here.) It was such a fun day. We had many laughs and just relaxed as we toured around the city. We weren’t on a time schedule, and we all enjoyed each other’s company. Susana was a great tour guide! It was nice to have someone show us around. We took the train home, and I remember just feeling happy and content. I was so blessed to be on this adventure. I was so blessed for my new friend and my old friend to hit it off so well. I was so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

The next day, Susana and her family showed us around Utrecht. It was about halfway to the airport, and she helped us get on the train after our exploring. Utrecht was also an amazing little city. I loved all the canals of the Netherlands. I believe Americans first think of the Red Light District or the coffee shops in Amsterdam, but I am not sure we truly understand the beauty of Amsterdam unless we go there. The canals are amazing. The bridges are fantastic. It is so much more.

Although we only had three days in the Netherlands, it was enough to get a little taste of it, but I also knew there was so much more to explore, and I couldn’t wait to return one day. Little did I know then that I would get to be the tour guide for my husband three years later.

After we hugged Susana and her family goodbye, my friend, Erin and I were off on our next adventure. Italy!

In Adventures with Gram

Lost Without Gram

April 6, 2021 2 Comments

Honestly, I know it should be somewhat of a relief. I should be excited to have no responsibility, but I feel lost without Gram. She has always been a huge part of my life. It all started the day I was born. My Dad was not able to be there because he was in the Army and deployed to Korea. Therefore, Gram was the one with my mom at the hospital, and she was the one who carried me home. Gram was a constant in my life. She lived three blocks away, she was at most of my athletic events, and she was there for all the important dates like Prom and Homecoming.

My Grandparents supported my move to California when I felt I needed to get out of my small town. They came all the way out to visit me with our foreign exchange student Marja. Gramps was so excited to go to Dodger Stadium for a baseball game and Dodger Dog. I showed them around Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and San Bernandino.

Once I moved to Richmond, my grandparents again made many trips up and down the interstate to visit. We saw each other for holidays, birthdays, and random times in between. When I decided to quit my job and move to Thailand, Gram was sad to see me leave but was one of my biggest supporters.

Even though she was my grandmother and had been a part of my life since I was born, these past five years were different. Our relationship became so much more. At first, when she was more independent, she was my partner in crime. We did everything together. It was nice to have someone to keep me company. We went shopping, we traveled up and down the East Coast, and of course, we drove to the nearest ice cream shop. We weren’t in a hurry and we weren’t trying to meet deadlines or set any records. We just went where we wanted to go when we wanted to go. Gram rarely complained. She was always up for a ride in the car. She loved my little convertible EOS. And I usually loved her by my side except when she would say some embarrassingly loud comment about the “geezer” getting gas at the pump next to us in his fancy convertible. Oh, gram.

After a while, she became a little more dependent on me, and then it seemed she became more like the child I never had. I got to know her really well. I knew what she liked to eat, what she was about to say, when she had to go to the bathroom, and what color she wanted on her nails. I imagine this is what having a three-year-old is like 🙂 But I loved having this little lady by my side. She smiled, she laughed, and she just went with the flow. She never had a whole lot to say but every now and again that little lady would make me laugh so hard. Some of my fondest memories and best pieces of advice came In the Bathroom with Gram. Because my grandmother knew me almost as well as I knew her, she would tell my mom and my friends that we can’t tell Stacy how much we like Jeff or she won’t like him. She was his biggest fan and of course, I became his biggest fan, too.

So six weeks after her passing, here I am, lost without Gram. I miss her advice. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss my sidekick.

For five years, I worked odd jobs even though my biggest job was caring for Gram. I just felt like I needed to do something. I needed to have a “job”. I don’t know why I felt defined by my “job” but for some reason, it has always mattered to me. It’s the first question people ask when you meet them. I realized how lost without Gram I was at our last ski week. We met new friends on the mountain and everyone had a job. Some were in real estate, some in film and of course, most of mine were pilots. Then someone asked me, “What do you do?”. Hmmm, what was I going to say? I wasn’t an educator anymore, I wasn’t a caregiver anymore, I wasn’t a realtor anymore. Who was I? I felt like I didn’t have an identity. I was just a pilot’s wife being a ski bum on a beautiful mountain.

I know I am a strong, independent woman with the most amazing husband. I know I am an aunt and I love those little ones so much. I know I am a travel junkie and can’t wait for more amazing adventures. But what do I say? What do I do now? I guess it’s ok to take the time to figure that out, but it’s hard, and it honestly has me a little lost without Gram. One wonderful friend of mine suggested I say something like “After five years of caregiving, I am taking some time to enjoy my husband and my marriage while I figure out my next adventure.” And that is amazing advice but it’s so hard to be patient and to not feel a little lost.

I know I am on a new journey and right now even though I am lost without Gram, I do believe something exciting and meaningful will come my way. I will never forget my time with Gram or the memories I made with her. She left me on this Earth a better person than I was five years ago and for that, I will forever be grateful. I am excited to see what this next chapter of my life will bring and maybe my husband and I won’t feel so lost without Gram. Maybe we will be led by Gram to new adventures, new memories together, and new times to cherish. I am surrounded by one amazing, loving, supportive husband and several wonderful friends and family members. Whatever will be is meant to be, and I have to have faith that all my angels above will lead us in the right direction.

In Travel Junkie

Ski Weeks

March 30, 2021 1 Comment

Skiing. You would think growing up in northwestern Pennsylvania, I would be a skier. But I played basketball and didn’t want to get hurt. Plus, I didn’t really care to be out in the cold for hours. Therefore, I skied a handful of times. Four years ago, my husband introduced me to his ski and snowboard club. Skiing is his passion. He’s been skiing since he was four years old, and he loves it. He also loves going to the snow and going back to warm, sunny Florida. (And now I do, too.)

Every month December through March there is an airline ski week. Most of the airlines race and earn points. I am not sure what the points get them because our ski and snowboard club does not race:) Many resorts give the airlines discounts on lodging and lift tickets. My husband started taking me three years ago. I wasn’t very good or comfortable on the mountain, but I wanted to learn. I wanted to see the beautiful views from mountaintops, and I wanted to be a part of the ski club.

Steamboat Springs

The first ski trip I went on was in Steamboat Springs, Colorado in December 2018. I didn’t have any confidence and really no ski skills. My husband’s friends insisted that he NOT teach me how to ski. So, one of the girls we were with took me to the bunny hill and started with the basics… how to stop, how to get on the lift, how to get out of my skies. She was an amazing instructor. We did some greens (beginner runs) and accidentally a blue (intermediate runs) or two, where I proceeded to yardsale down the mountain. For those of you who don’t ski, yardsale means my poles and skies went flying as I tumbled down the mountain. I enjoyed it though because I was warm, it was fun, and I didn’t get hurt. I especially liked apres ski (happy hour) and the theme party on Wednesday night.

Copper Mountain

The next year, the first airline ski week was at Copper Mountain in Colorado. My husband, against my will, persuaded me to take three ski lessons. This turned out to be very helpful and the instructor took us on greens and blues that we could handle. I started feeling a little better and more confident about skiing. On this trip, we couldn’t find anyone to stay with Gram so we could get a break from Gram therefore we took her with us. My husband and the two guys we stayed with would take turns checking on her while I was in my lesson. They would sit with her for a few minutes, hand her a banana or some Hershey Kisses, and then be back on the slopes. She was relatively steady and comfortable for a few hours on her own and the TV was on for her. She had a wonderful time. We took her into the village and to apres ski. She just laughed and smiled. I didn’t know that Copper was one of the highest mountains in Colorado and that many people get altitude sickness. Not Gram though, she hung right in there doing shot skis and all!

Park City

The next month, we did two days in Park City, Utah before heading to Steamboat Springs again. I love Park City. It is one of my favorite mountains. We skied Park City, the Canyons, and Deer Valley. I loved that the ski resorts were so close together. I absolutely loved Deer Valley. I felt pretty confident on the greens and blues there. After two days there, we went back to Steamboat. It was great to be back on the mountain where I originally learned. It was fun to do the blues and not yard sale down the mountain. I was starting to get the hang of it and really enjoy it.

Then Covid hit and I didn’t get to ski again that season.

In 2020, the ski weeks have been different. As you read in Missing Gram, we put her into senior living in November. Therefore, I was able to go to the first ski week. Usually, it is at Copper Mountain, but because of Covid, it got changed to Steamboat Springs. Since we were going there in January, our ski and snowboard team decided to do our own ski week and go to Park City, Utah. There were about 10 of us, and we have a friend that lives there so she hosted many of us. I was excited to go back to Deer Valley. I was also excited because my husband bought me the Ikon Pass. This is the only way to go if you are going to ski more than four or five times a year. We skied Snowbird, Solitude, and Deer Valley. Deer Valley is my all-time favorite thus far. The greens and blues are absolutely perfect for me. They even have double blues, which I love. Double blue means it’s a little more difficult than the blue but not as difficult as a Black Diamond. It was early in the season so a lot of the more difficult trails were closed so it was nice for all of us to ski together, and I didn’t feel like I was holding anyone back.

First Black Diamond

In January 2021, we decided to head out to Denver early before the airline ski week. We stayed with friends in Silverthorne, Colorado, and we were able to ski for a couple of hours at Copper Mountain. We parked the car at the bottom of a chair lift and got right on the mountain with our Ikon Passes. The hill to get back to the car was a Black Diamond (advanced runs). Our friend was confident I could make it down to the car but I was too nervous and didn’t chance it the first day. But on the second they sneakily took me down. I saw the sign but I told myself to relax and just go slow. I remember looking up at what I had just skied and couldn’t believe it. But once I was down, I was so excited to have skied a black diamond!! I really had no desire to do it, but it was fun and I didn’t fall! Thank you, friends, for pushing me.

Steamboat Springs Take II

We spent the next week in Steamboat Springs. I did a few more black diamonds, but by the end of the week, my legs were so tired. Therefore, I decided to play it safe and stay on the blues. It was a great week but very different. Usually, during ski weeks we have a meet and greet party on Mondays, team dinner on Tuesdays, a theme party on Wednesdays, and an awards dinner on Thursdays for anyone who races. This year, many teams stayed in their condos with the people they were comfortable with or did apres ski outside. There were no parties and only our team went to dinner. It was definitely a different experience, but fun all the same.

Deer Valley Take III

In March, the airlines usually hold an international ski and snowboard week. It bounces between North America and Europe. This year it got canceled because of Covid. Our team decided to have our own ski week in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Other airlines decided to join us so we had a group of about 24 people. My husband and I were going to meet in Denver and ride up with friends from Silverthorne. Well, we had to go to Plan B which entailed me flying to Denver, my girlfriend, Kelly, picking me up at the airport, and us driving eight hours to Park City, Utah. A huge snowstorm was coming and we didn’t want to take the chance of getting caught in it and not making our ski week. Plus, we didn’t really want to try driving in a snowstorm.

Kelly and I had the best time driving. We drove her husband’s truck which is a stick shift. I love driving sticks so I was super excited. We had great weather and Taylor Swift on the radio! It was a long day but we made it and stayed at a friend’s house, which was beautiful. It was extremely generous of them to let us stay, and we really appreciated it. The next day we did a little Workout and then went to Deer Valley to ski. She had never been there, and I had never skied without my husband so it was just the two of us and we had to pay extra attention to where we were and how to get back down the mountain. We had a great time!

The next day my husband flew into Salt Lake City and he and another pilot Ubered up to the house. We all got ready and met other friends on the mountain. We had another beautiful bluebird day at Deer Valley. One of our friends, Lisa, used to be a ski instructor so she gave me a few pointers on how to become a better, more confident skier, which I really appreciate.

Jackson Hole

The next day we drove 5 hours to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was so excited to see a new state and another beautiful mountain resort. The views you see on top of the mountain are breathtaking. Not everyone is willing to dress in cold gear, put on snow pants and skies, and go up the hill to see them. I, for one, am glad my husband pushed me to learn a new skill that enabled me to see such beautiful sights. I am beyond blessed.

Jackson Hole was a great little town. The four of us had lunch at the Million Dollar Cowboy Restaurant and then headed to the resort. We stayed on the mountain at the Alpenhof. Jackson Hole is a steeper mountain and up at the top, there are no greens. The first day our friend had us traversing across Black Diamonds. We were trying to find a blue but I was not ready for this and my whole body was shaking. I was deathly afraid I was going to slip and tumble all the way down the mountain. We eventually got to a spot where I took off my skies and turned around. I could not go any further. My beautiful husband turned around with me as well as another couple. We eventually found a blue and decided to ski there.

The week was wonderful. Great people, great skiers, great times. On St. Patrick’s Day, my husband and two friends, Sean and Lisa, surprised me with t-shirts that said “St. Gram’s Day”. Everyone in our group had the shirt on and unzipped to show bright green and Gram’s beautiful smiling face. It was the most amazing, thoughtful gift. Thank you wonderful friends for thinking of it and participating in it. Some of the skiers didn’t even know Gram but they heard such wonderful things about her that they were blessed to be a part of it. That night in town, several people asked who Gram was, and I shared my blog with them. I am hoping I now have followers in Wyoming!

So here I am on day 28 of skiing. I am learning to love the sport. I love the friends I have made and the people I have met by being a part of the ski club. I love being a woman in my 40’s and learning a new sport and being healthy and athletic enough to participate. So stay young, stay strong, be inspired, and just go for it!

In Adventures with Gram

Goodbye Gram

March 23, 2021 1 Comment

Tomorrow it will be one month since we lost Gram. Three weeks ago, we said goodbye Gram with a wonderful service. I am not sure you can say that funerals are beautiful or that dead bodies look good but it was a beautiful tribute to Gram and as always Gram looked stunning and so sweet in her casket. She was surrounded by blankets from friends, photos of her family, and of course, her rosary.

Although she didn’t have as many visitors as my grandfather did because of Covid and six added years, it was a wonderful turnout of support for our family. We were surrounded by many friends and family. One of her favorite couples, who called her mama, made the 10-hour drive from Tennessee to pay their respects. Gram would have been honored at the goodbye she received.

At the church service, a former student of Alliance College gave one of the most beautiful and amazing tributes I have ever heard. Click here to play the video. His words summed up Gram in a nutshell. Whoever met her felt the same way. Even the priest who never knew her did an amazing job. (Thank you Meghan D. for the videos and pictures). For the final hymn click here.

After the service, we went to the cemetery to lay her body to rest and to say goodbye Gram. It was a chilly day and the streets were ice-covered. We even had some snow flurries in the air, which she would have loved. Before we moved to Florida for the winters, one of Gram’s favorite pastimes was sitting in her chair and watching the snowfall.

Several people came to Venango Valley Inn and Golf Course for a memorial luncheon. The staff was fantastic and the food was amazing. The owners have known my grandparents for years, and we have all become very close. Every time I would take Gram to dinner at the restaurant she would say, “Where’s Kim?” and head straight for the kitchen. She would bust those doors open and sweet Kim would head over to give Gram a great big hug no matter what she was in the middle of doing. Her friendship and love for my grandparents are beyond words, and I cannot thank her enough for everything that Venango Valley has done for us.

We were surrounded by family, former students, colleagues, and friends. One of my oldest friends in life gave the perfect blessing for the food. I asked her to do this about three minutes before it was time. What an amazing friend to be able to come up with something so beautiful on the spot. I think Gram had that way about her to inspire beautiful words and actions in all of those around her.

It was hard to leave the luncheon because that meant it was over. There was nothing more to do but collect the flowers and picture frames from the funeral home. It was the final goodbye Gram. I didn’t want to do it.

Although I know in my head Gram had a long and absolutely wonderful life, it still hurts my heart that I won’t hear her laugh anymore, I won’t be able to put her in the car and take her to the nearest ice cream shop, I won’t get to hear her say “starość to nie radość” which she told means “it’s hell getting old”, which actually means “old age is not joy”, and I won’t hear her say “I look like death warmed over three times!”, her other famous words.

So I have to say goodbye gram to your earthly body, but I know you will visit by way of cardinals and in my dreams. I look forward to those signs from heaven. Please give everyone up there in heaven a great big hug for us. I know you are singing and dancing and having the most beautiful time. Keep an eye on your great-grandchildren for us. Hold them in your arms and make them feel your presence every day. Love and miss you. Goodbye Gram.

In Pilot's Wife

Dreams

March 16, 2021 No Comments

My husband is a huge Sammy Hagar fan. He’s seen him several times in concert over the years and has taken me a few times. The first time I saw Sammy was in California on the beach. We met up with Jeff’s cousins and had a blast! The weather was perfect. We also found our way into the VIP area for some free drinks and food, which was a great treat.

The next time I saw Sammy was in Cabo San Lucas at his annual birthday bash. We went to meet up with one of Jeff’s buddies there. We enjoyed some time by the pool and the all-inclusive resort. Jeff and I did some dancing in the evenings and saw Sammy play at Cabo Wabo. It was a small intimate venue.

Once I realized Sammy used to be the lead singer for Van Halen I found several songs I knew and loved. Therefore, before the concert, I downloaded some Van Halen songs and started listening. My favorite song became “Dreams.” I don’t know why, but I love that song. I love the words, the meaning, and especially the ending which goes like this…. “So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you’ve cried, ohh, that’s what dreams are made of, Ohh, baby we belong in a world that must be strong, ohh, that’s what dreams are made of, and in the end on dreams we will depend, cause that’s what love is made of”

Even though I am the worst singer in the world, I LOVE singing. When we first installed the Sonos system in our house, I turned the music on from my bed and turned it up soooo loud and sang along. Yep, you guessed it, the very first song ever played on our system was “Dreams.” I was so happy to have it playing throughout the house. When I have a few adult beverages, the tunes become louder and higher as does my voice!

It really is quite awful but for some reason, I go into my own little world when this song comes on, and I pretend I am a Rockstar. I feel bad for my poor husband and friends who have to endure this performance over and over. But I am extremely grateful for some of my girlfriends who come into my world and rock out with me! One friend, we can call her “Fun Amy”, and I dance our faces off giggling, laughing, and singing at the top of our lungs. Fun Amy is my karaoke partner, my dance on the bar partner, my dance in the middle of the Key West Express partner, and my dance on the kitchen island then jump into the pool partner.

My other girlfriend, Kelly, also enjoys singing Dreams with me. We have sung on a barstool together, in her husband’s truck, and at ski week. This song and these friendships mean the world to me. Yes, when I truly think about it, I know I should be embarrassed and should never open my mouth to sing (or dance for that matter) again, but every once in a while you need to realize life is too short, be wild, be happy, and have some fun!

In Adventures with Gram

Gram, our Matriarch

March 9, 2021 No Comments

Over the past weekend, we laid Gram, our Matriarch, to rest next to her husband, at a cemetery bordering the campus of the old Alliance College. My grandparents had a profound impact on many of the students at the college as well as many others in the community. This is a tribute from one of my grandpa’s former players.

Mrs. Haluch, our Matriarch.

I had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Haluch over 60 years ago.

In 1957 to be exact…when I was a scared, skinny teenager…with only one suitcase in hand…arriving in Cambridge Springs as a Freshman at Alliance College. She was the first person to make me feel at home. She had two kids of her own, as Stanley and Tusha were young children at the time…yet still had time for me.

I’ve been blessed with over six decades of memories filled with that smile, that giggle…and her voice saying “Bobby, you don’t mind that I still call you Bobby?” I would say without hesitation, “NO Mrs. Haluch…I love that you call me Bobby.”

Many of us associate all of our Cambridge Springs memories with Coach Haluch…but if you really think about it…many of those are linked directly to…Mrs. Haluch. A quiet, gentle, and incredibly strong woman. A leader in her family…her church…and her community.

Remembering those wonderful days playing basketball and baseball for Coach…well…who do you think washed all of those uniforms for so many years? Mrs. Haluch.

All of the Alliance Reunions over the years…there she was making us all feel welcome… making over 500 perogies…yes 500, so when we stopped by over during the weekend, we’d all have something to eat. Always the consummate hostess.

When we would visit on a weekend, we’d go to church before heading back home. You could hear a beautiful voice coming from the choir loft. That’s Mrs. Haluch.

As the years went on…the mentorship continued with Coach and Mrs. Haluch…and a beautiful deeper friendship grew with our family.

Enjoying a Pirate Games at PNC Park…a couple of years ago…the usher giving her a game ball because he couldn’t resist that smile and twinkle in her eye.

Sitting watching a football game at their house…when Mrs. Haluch would blurt out a player’s name, position…and something interesting about them.

Such wonderful sunny days on Ft. Myers Beach. I would sit and talk with Coach and Mrs. Haluch would stroll the beach picking up shells with my wife and daughter. Then we would spend hours laughing…and eating… as we looked out over the Gulf of Mexico. Those are some of my most cherished memories.

At Coach’s 90th Birthday…who do you think stole the show? Mrs. Haluch…dancing with the toy soldier…she looked just like Cinderella.

In more recent years we were blessed to get to know Stacy…she has been an angel to Mrs. Haluch. The two of them…two peas in a pod. Their endless adventures are epic, but what was so special to me…was Stacy’s selfless and tireless dedication to her Gram. That is something that is so rare in today’s society. Stacy…that gift of time with you were given with your Gram…and Matriarch…will remain in your heart forever.

We would try to give Stacy a little break and take Mrs. Haluch on day trips to Waterford and Erie. Our lunches were filled with good food from Carini’s…but of course, it was all about the pie for Mrs. Haluch…the car rides were equally special…when she would tell tales of countless good times her and Coach had over the years.

Our destination was always the Casino, where she would sit at her penny machine having a high old time flanked by my wife and daughter. The best experience…was when she hit the jackpot and thought she broke the machine. We still laugh at the moment when the bells and lights started flashing and ringing and she turned to me and said… “Bobby I think I broke the machine.”

For such a tiny statured woman…she was a Giant…a giant to all of us. Making a Big impact in each of our lives.

Mrs. Haluch was…

The Matriarch of her beloved family – to her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

The Matriarch of Alliance College

The Matriarch of Cambridge Springs

I imagine and smile thinking about…Mrs. Haluch and Coach enjoying endless polkas and perogies…in Heaven…

I love you Mrs. Haluch. Thank you for being a Matriarch in my family too.

Love,

Bobby F.

In Adventures with Gram

Losing Gram

March 2, 2021 No Comments

Last Wednesday we got the call that we had been anticipating, but never wanted to answer. Gram was unresponsive at 4:40 that morning. We had just made arrangements to bring her back to our home. She hadn’t been eating, drinking, or really talking for about a week. On Tuesday, we had decided to bring her home in Hospice care to live out her final days by the pool, her favorite spot. As you read in Missing Gram, we put her into Senior Living in November 2020.

The hospital bed was in place waiting for her, but I guess she didn’t want to be a burden. She always said that to us, which of course we never thought she was. I guess she didn’t want to put us through having to watch her go. When we left Tuesday, I hugged her so tight. I told her we were bringing her home. I told her she could come to sit by the pool and sleep with Kuma, her favorite feline. But I guess she wanted it another way.

It hurts my heart so much that she is gone. I knew the day would come, but over the past few years, she has defied death so many times that we thought she would live forever! This woman…so strong, so mighty, so inspiring. She is in heaven now dancing the polka with her hubby (and possibly giving him a piece of her mind ) It won’t be the same. We are sad about our loss, but we are excited for her reunion with her husband, son, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Gram, please tell them we love and miss them.

I am grateful that the road I took led me to caregiving for Gram. It led me to my husband, wonderful friends, and amazing adventures. I will never regret one moment with her. She told me once I was like the sister she never had, and she was my best friend, always there to listen (whether she wanted to or not).

Although she is gone and I won’t have any new adventures with her, I plan on continuing to write about our past outings. Even though she isn’t on this earth anymore she will forever be in my heart inspiring me and pushing me to do the right thing and live life to the fullest.

Viewing and the funeral will be in Pennsylvania on March 5 and 6. Click here for details. We will also do a celebration of life in Fort Myers, Florida in April.

In Family

Friends

February 23, 2021 2 Comments

I can’t express to you how amazing my friends are. Family is one thing, and I am blessed with a small, close immediate family and a huge, wonderful extended family. But my friends’ network is beyond words. They always say quality over quantity, but I believe that somehow I got both. I have friends that I have had since birth (literally our moms were in the same hospital room), since elementary school, since high school, since college, since California, since Virginia, since Thailand, since back to Pennsylvania when I started caring for Gram, and now since Florida. It seems that the older I get and different life circumstances occur, it seems the more wonderful people I meet.

From elementary school, I have a core group of friends. Although our paths took different turns, we managed to stay in touch. It didn’t matter if we saw each other every month or once a year, we would get together and it was as if no time had passed. We support each other through beautiful weddings and some heartbreaks. Some of us had children and some were lucky enough to inherit stepchildren. Some of us stayed in the small town where we grew up and others decided to leave. But these women and men have been there for me through good and bad times. And I can’t say enough about their support of gram and me over the past five years. I also have a boxful of notes from some of them from fifth grade forward. I can’t wait for us to get together to read through some of these over some wine one of these days.

Then I was off to college. There I met another group of fantastic ladies. We were from all different states and even though we are now spread all over the globe, and we don’t keep in touch as often as we should, we have a bond that remains. When we do get together or do a Zoom call, it brings my heart so much joy to see their beautiful faces and talk about their children and careers. Again, some decided to have children, some didn’t, some have been married, some have suffered the loss of a husband, some have been divorced and some have long-time partners. Although the differences in paths mean some loss of communication and closeness, we continue to cheer each other on from afar. And when we can meet up, it’s like we go back to those days sitting outside our apartment in college having coffee talk about the night before.

I have another group of friends that I met in Virginia through my education career and by participating in social sports. Richmond has some great adult league social sports you can play such as kickball, football, and wiffleball. We had so much fun playing these sports especially when we won a few championships! Although we don’t stay in touch as often as we should, these folks are always willing to help each other out. Receiving a text out of the blue from one of these special people always makes my heart happy. We may not talk or see each other often, but they all pass through my mind and my heart more often than they probably know.

When I went to Thailand, I met two very special ladies in Richmond before we left. We bonded right away because of our sense of adventure and the fear of the unknown. Once we got to Thailand, we met 30 more people who all had similar interests in traveling and teaching children. I am Facebook friends with many of these people, and recently I reconnected with one wonderful woman who can bring a smile to anyone’s face with her cuteness.

When I moved back to my hometown to provide care and companionship to Gram, I was excited to see my hometown girlfriends and their families. Whenever I would go to our small town sporting events, it was like a high school reunion. It was so much fun! We all had many things going on, but we got together as often as we could. Then I joined CrossFit Meadville and made another group of fantastic friends. I love that there are so many badass women in this gym. Most of these women are married, but in the beginning, they took me on as the odd wheel, and I loved it. When I introduced them to Jeff, they embraced him just as well. This crew enjoys Sunday Fun Days and brewery tours. They also love coming to Florida in the winter to visit. And we love spending our summers in Pennsylvania near them.

Once Gram and I started spending winters in Florida, we met more married couples that Jeff has been friends with for years. Friends he has met through his work or through his sons’ school or sporting events. I love these couples, and although I am still working on developing woman relationships in this area, I enjoy hanging out with them and going to dinner.

Another group of friends I adore is our ski club friends. Jeff started taking me skiing in 2018, and I met some very amazing people while skiing. Most of these friends are in the airline industry which is very intriguing to me. These friends come to ski weeks from all over the United States, and now I have friends to visit all over the country. It is amazing to me to keep meeting such generous and fun-loving people. It truly makes me so happy and makes me believe in the good of this world.

Lastly, I have a group of friends that I have met because of my grandparents. Many of my grandfather’s past basketball players send cards, messages, letters and through these, I have tried to keep the relationship going with Gram. Every time we meet up with someone from the old college, she has the biggest smile on her face. She always knows where they live and usually what they are doing. It amazes me. My husband and I love hearing the stories about my grandpa and how much he meant to them as a coach as well as the life lessons they learned through him. We miss him so much, and I love that he had such an impact on these gentlemen and their families.

This post is for you, my friends. You all know who you are and please know that I love and cherish each one of you. You made my transitions in each area of my life bearable and enjoyable. I am so blessed to be able to count on so many of you for anything, and I hope you feel the same about us. It makes my heart so warm to know that you are all out there. And it makes my heart happy to know how much you love and care about sweet Gram.

In Adventures with Gram

Missing Gram

February 16, 2021 7 Comments

It’s been about three months since we decided to put Gram into Senior Living. We tried to get extra help for her in our home but the lady quit after four days 🙁 She said it was too hard physically. Hmm…not sure that walking a few steps from the bedroom to the kitchen to the pool at a snail’s pace is all that tough but….whatever… it didn’t work out. So here I am three months later missing Gram.

After lots of discussions, pros, cons, tears and a few falls we determined that senior living was the best place for Gram. Jeff and I loved taking care of Gram, and we loved having her in our home. I definitely got more frustrated at times than he did but he also got more breaks from Gram than I did. Needless to say, after caring for Gram for just about five years, I was burned out and exhausted. I couldn’t keep an eye on her every minute she was awake, and I felt like I wasn’t being a good caregiver or granddaughter. We couldn’t go to the store without taking her or getting someone to stay with her. She fell a few times over the past year and even once when I was right across the pool. We didn’t want to take the chance that she would fall, get hurt, or break her hip again.

We found a wonderful facility and together with my mom, we wrote Gram a note about why we felt she would be safer there. She read, smiled, and agreed. The next day she hopped right out of bed, ate breakfast, asked my mom if we would be ok without her money, and asked questions about her new “apartment”. We were in shock. I took her to get her nails and hair done, and we took her to her new place. When it was time for us to leave she was sitting with some ladies, drinking a milkshake, and smiling a big smile. It made my heart happy even though I knew I would be missing Gram.

We were sad that she didn’t seem to care that we were leaving, but we had hope in our hearts that she would adjust well and possibly fall in love with her new home and her new friends. The house felt differently without her, and we kept looking over our shoulders to see what she was doing. We were definitely missing Gram.

Three months later, she has adjusted pretty well, but she still asks to come home. She still asks where she is. Because of her dementia, she doesn’t realize this is her new permanent place. She still has hope that she is coming home. The beautiful thing about putting her in a facility in Fort Myers is that we can visit as often as we want. We can take her out to lunch if we want as well. We also were so blessed to be able to take her to Virginia for Christmas. Although she was very confused about where we were going the first day, she enjoyed being with the family for the holidays. She also enjoyed helping us make pierogies. It broke my heart to put her back in at the end of our trip but the next day she seemed ok.

Things seemed to be heading in a positive direction. She was walking better than she did in our home so we were very happy about that. She seemed to be maintaining her weight. She was socializing with the other ladies more often. I took her out for lunch once and out for ice cream another time. I was trying to show her that she could come and go. We started talking about places we could take her and getting excited about having more adventures with Gram, especially since she was soon going to be vaccinated against the Covid virus.

Then it happened. Last Wednesday, she got her second Covid vaccine shot. Personally, I think Gram is so strong that she would have fought off the Covid without it, but you never know. Well, that evening, she tried to stand up, got dizzy, and lost her balance. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the vaccine or not. But she fell, hit her head on a side table, tore her skin on her elbow, and landed on her right hip (the hip she broke in 2016). Thankfully, we were in town, and I was able to meet her at the Emergency Room. She was so scared and in so much pain. The emergency room nurses were wonderful. They got her head cleaned up and thankfully she didn’t need any stitches. They did the x-rays and yep, her right femur is broken again. Because she already had a replacement, the doctor said there was nothing they could do. He recommended lots of pain meds and to keep her moving as much as she can tolerate.

So here we are six days later, and I am missing Gram. I am missing the Gram I had who made me laugh, who made me a better person, who told me to take care of my husband, who in her nineties had so many adventures, and who was so cute you couldn’t stand it. I am missing Gram because right now she can’t walk (although she is able to sit in her wheelchair relatively comfortably). I am missing Gram because she isn’t talking to me, and she can’t move her right hand. I am missing Gram because she is not eating and not taking her medications consistently. She has been such an inspiration and positive influence on me. She has shown me how to be strong. How to love wholeheartedly. How to laugh. How to enjoy life. How to support your family. How to keep traditions alive. I am not sure what the next few weeks will bring for us. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. If you are in the Fort Myers area and would like to visit Gram or if you would like to send her a card, contact me for the information.

In Pilot's Wife

Once I was a Wingman- Part 3

February 11, 2021 No Comments

Everyone wants to be loved. The desire to be loved, to be valued, and to be happy is universal. So when my single guy-friend Jeff was interested in a woman, I felt duty-bound to assist in his effort to get to know her. After all, he was my friend, and I cared about him, so of course, I wanted him to find someone who would love him, who would value him, and who would make him happy.

I met Jeff at the Gym. It happened to be a CrossFit Gym, and anyone who knows CrossFit also knows that it’s not like your typical gym. At CrossFit, you are all performing the same workout, at the same time, and most people go to the gym many times a week, at the same time. So a sense of community and camaraderie develops – you get to know each other.

At the time, Jeff and I were both navigating the dating scene. We had a lot in common, as we were the same age, we were both parents of late-teen or young adult children, had been divorced, and loved Crossfit. Becoming friends was natural. I respected Jeff, too. He was aware, had learned a lot of lessons in his life, was smart and thoughtful about things that mattered, and I began asking his advice when it came to the men I was dating and things that would come up. He, in turn, began sharing what was going on in his life and asking for a female perspective. On occasion, we’d go drink beer and eat chicken wings while we talked it all over.

So if “Wingman” is defined as someone who helps a friend with romantic relationships, then I suppose he was mine and I was his. But Dictionary.com goes on to say “especially one who helps the friend attract a woman…”

Back to the gym, and why I have been forever dubbed Jeff’s “Wingman”. It was February 2017, Jeff and I had made plans to go to a Saturday Boot Camp because it was designed to be a Partner Workout, so we agreed to meet and do it together. As we were warming up as a group, Jeff was admittedly a bit distracted by an unfamiliar athletic female backside in front of us. At the time, I had just met an amazing guy myself and wanted the same for Jeff. I actually thought he might ditch me for this very pretty lady who was visiting our gym, but he remained loyal to his commitment, and I was determined to chat with her after class.

Her name was Stacy, and she was friendly, adorable, and easy to talk to. While we stretched, we talked, and I made every effort to mention my friend, Jeff, and what a cool cat he was. Stacy was visiting from out of town and shared that she was here with her Gram (who she took care of), that they had a condo here, and she came often. I remember thinking at the time that this woman was incredibly unique if she took care of her grandmother full-time. I also remember we talked about local restaurants, and then we exchanged phone numbers.

Of course, I helped Jeff get Stacy’s number, and they took it from here. A couple of days later Jeff told me they went to the beach on Sunday, had some cocktails, had some fun, and he hoped he would see her again.

Some four years later, Jeff and Stacy are married, as am I to that amazing guy I mentioned earlier. Stacy and I have become close friends, and I adore her. What an incredible woman who turned out to be the best person I could ever imagine for Jeff, and he for her.

This story begins and ends with Jeff and Stacy, who now love each other, value each other, and make each other happy every day. And I am no longer a Wingman.

May anyone out there who is single be inspired by Jeff and Stacy’s random meeting and remarkable outcome. Just stay the course, be strong, and know that yours too could be just around the corner.

Guest Post Written by Eleina R.

Eleina is an amazing wingman, crossfitter, entrepreneur, wife, mother, friend, and web designer in the Venice, FL area. Check out her business E’s Website Design for all your website or blogging needs. She and Jeff have been friends since they started doing CrossFit together in 2015. Stacy and she have been friends for four years since they met this day four years ago after Boot Camp in 2017. Both couples remain great friends to this day.

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The Netherlands

Lost Without Gram

Ski Weeks

Steamboat Springs

Copper Mountain

Park City

First Black Diamond

Steamboat Springs Take II

Deer Valley Take III

Jackson Hole

Goodbye Gram

Dreams

Gram, our Matriarch

Losing Gram

Friends

Missing Gram

Once I was a Wingman- Part 3

Guest Post Written by Eleina R.

Missing Gram

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Letter to Gram

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