“Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that men have died to win them.”
– Franklin D. Roosevelt
Every time I hear the song “Hell of a View” by Eric Church, I think of my niece and nephew. They love 
that song and sing every word. I think they like it because it says “I smoked my Bronco tires outta that town” and their Pops has a Bronco. They seem to like songs they can relate to. I hope they embrace the meaning of that song and take chances with their “toes hanging off the ledge with nothing to lose”. I hope they take chances and live life to the fullest every day like they are now.
When we are driving around from playground to playground and that song comes on, the kids sit in the backseat bobbing their heads and singing without a care in the world. Meanwhile, I am trying to fight back tears because I am thinking about how much I want my sister to be there with us. And how mad and sad and pissed I am that she was taken from us and from them. I am so upset that she isn’t here to hear them sing and to squeeze them when they go to bed every night. I know she is here in spirit, but I want to hear her laugh and see her smile.
May 7th, 2018 was when we lost her after her 18-month battle with cancer. It really hasn’t stopped hurting since. I am not sure any of us have truly gotten over it. How can you? But somehow we have to try to find a way to get by, and we have to believe there is something bigger out there. So I guess we are supposed to be grateful that her pain is gone, and that she has a hell of a view up there.
May is a hard month for our family. Nine years ago on May 23, my sister, mom, and I held my dad’s hand as he took his last earthly breath after his nine-year battle with lung cancer. My dad was only 61 years old. I look at my friends and family around me now and think we are not far from 61. It’s unbelievable how young he really was. I am so glad he fought long enough to know my sister was pregnant, and he tried to hold on to see that sweet baby girl but didn’t make it. Days like this make me sad he didn’t get the chance to hold his grandchildren and spoil them. He would have had so much fun with those little ones. In his quiet way, he would have taught them so much. He LOVED music, too, and could have introduced them to some real classics. He could tell you the artist and name of almost any song. I still remember my dad’s face when he got a Bose stereo for Christmas one year. That was a hell of a view.
Because this past Sunday was the 23rd, I went to church. I felt that I needed to hear some kind of message. God must have sent the Pastor a sign because it seemed he knew just what I needed to hear. The message was that we are on a journey. The journey isn’t going to be easy and there are going to be challenges. He said God doesn’t call us to do anything he doesn’t think we can handle. Trials are necessary but God promises unconditional love and everlasting life. Jesus gave it all for us so we need to trust that God will give it all to us if we give it all to him. It is hard to think about the promise of Heaven when we are here on Earth just doing what we think is best. Sometimes it’s hard to see past the trials. Sometimes it’s hard not to question why. Sometimes it’s hard not to be envious of a friend who still has their father or their sibling. But I guess we need to believe, and we need to realize life is precious. Make the best of it and appreciate the view.
This quote from Mother Teresa pretty much sums up how I feel at times. She said,
I guess God thinks I am one strong cookie with all the trials he has sent my way. But maybe we all feel that way. All of us have losses and struggles. Many of us question why. One day we will find out. One day we will be up in Heaven with a Hell of a View. Until then live life with your toes hanging off the ledge.
Featured Photo by Balazs Busznyak on Unsplash
As you read in “The Broken Hip”, Gram and I took off for Florida in February 2017. It was there, at the CrossFit gym, where I met my future husband as you read in our trio blog posts from him, Eleina, and myself. It was also at that time that I had just started my First Dream Team. And we had just learned that my sister had Cancer. But let’s continue on our journey with Gram that summer.
After two weeks in Florida, Gram, the cat, and I made our way to Richmond to see the family. My sister had just undergone surgery and was recovering from having several organs removed. The doctors felt surgery was the best approach to try to rid her body of cancer. She was hopeful and ready to kick cancer’s ass. She was so strong and she didn’t stay long in the hospital bed. She was ready to be home with her little ones. We stayed a couple of weeks to help out and to spend some time with her.
Once she was settled back at home, Gram and I continued on our journey to PA. I decided to start taking classes to get my real estate license. I thought being a realtor would give me flexible hours and a flexible schedule. I could then care for Gram, but also make some money and possibly turn it into a career when my caretaking duties were finished.
Because it was my first Dream Team I also spent a lot of time at the gym. I took my new healthy lifestyle seriously plus I was meeting new friends. I really enjoyed it. Many days, I would take Gram with me to the gym and even put her through a few workouts. She was so inspiring. She would do some squats, lift some dumbbells, and do a weight machine or two. I hoped it would help her with her balance. At that time, the gym was on the second floor so just to get to the gym Gram had to walk up two flights of stairs. And she did it well!
My sister had another surgery in May, and they scraped every inch of her abdomen. She was in the operating room for 20 hours. It was so scary. But, she pulled through and was ready to go home within days. I couldn’t believe how determined she was. We all prayed that the surgery would be the last, and she would start the remission process. But they still wanted her to do chemotherapy and radiation that summer, which she did. She held onto most of her hair until that fall. Then it started getting thin. It eventually fell out by Christmas.
After months of studying, I passed my real estate license test and started selling houses. I really enjoyed it. Gram went with me several times to show houses. Sometimes she would go in and sometimes she would just sit in the car. She was content and happy. We spent that summer riding around in my little convertible EOS, getting ice cream at all of the hot spots, and making our way up and down the highway to and from Richmond. We didn’t have much of a schedule so we just took one day at a time and wanted to spend as much time as we could with the family.
That summer, I was busy with real estate and started doing some personal training at the gym. Jeff and I stayed in touch but only saw each other a few times. I kept thinking ‘if it’s meant to be, it will be.’ I wanted it to work, but I knew the distance could limit the opportunity, especially since his youngest son was still in high school. So I enjoyed my time with Gram and doing my own thing. She was the best companion because she did what I wanted to do and didn’t complain 🙂
As the weather got chillier and fall came upon us, things started to change. Jeff asked me to a few family functions and football games as our relationship started becoming more serious. Gram told my friends and family that she better not say how much she liked Jeff or I would stop dating him. Therefore, she kept it a secret for a while. But every now and again, when I was in the bathroom with Gram, she would let it slip and say, “I like Jeff. Do you like Jeff?” And of course, I liked Jeff but we still lived in different states, and I wasn’t sure where life would lead or what Life Changes would occur.
My sister finished chemo and was feeling pretty good. She was working on gaining muscle and getting her strength back. The kids were getting older and more involved in gymnastics and tee-ball. We all loved watching them play. We were all hopeful. We were looking forward to Christmas and spending more family time together. My sister was so positive and determined. Even as she was battling cancer and going through surgeries, radiation, and chemo, she kept a positive outlook. She laughed, she smiled. She enjoyed all the little things. Little did we know that upcoming Christmas would be her last and more life changes would be upon us.
A few weeks ago, I had the wonderful pleasure of spending 10 days with my niece and nephew while my mom had some free time to go on vacation. I was excited to spend some time in Richmond, and of course, to spend some quality time with the kids.
My niece and nephew are the cutest little people. I love hearing their stories, watching them play together, and laugh. My nephew, who is the youngest, is always trying to do what his older sister can. He has absolutely no fear. So what she does, he wants to do. Although my niece is a little more hesitant she is always ready to swing from the monkey bars or climb high on the jungle gym. She loves being the big sister and showing him what to do. I hope they stay this close as they grow up.
Over the course of my visit, I took the kids to many different playgrounds. They showed me a few of their favorites, and I showed them a new one that they loved. They are little monkeys and climbed all over the obstacles, swings, and monkey bars. They love Ninja Warrior, and I feel like they themselves are little warriors!
We ate dinner as a family almost every night. It is then when we heard the kids’ stories of how their day went at school and what they did. They usually had something to say about school, their teacher, or a friend, and they loved telling their dad about their afternoon at the playground.
It was a perfect vacation for me. It was a little sad not having Babcia there (what they called Gram). The kids loved their great-grandmother so much and loved helping her. Although they thought she was as slow as a turtle, they would always volunteer to take her hand and help her steady herself up the stairs and into the house. In earlier days, they loved going in and waking her up, too. “Babcia, it’s time to get up!” is what they would say. Then they would help make her eggs and a piece of toast. We would all have breakfast together, and they would try to persuade her to eat when she was just sitting there staring into space.
We all missed Babcia and our traditions of waking her up, helping her into the house, and going to get ice cream. My nephew had great insight and just made my heart melt. We talked a little about Babcia, and he said “Did Babcia like dogs?”, I said, “Yes, she did.” He said then she must be up in Heaven playing with Phoenix. (Phoenix was his Pops dog that passed away a few years ago.) He said, “I bet mom is playing with Phoenix, too.” And, “I am glad they can all be together.” Oh, my sweet baby boy. How precious.
I am sure you all have nieces, nephews, sons, daughters, or cousins who say the most precious things at the right time. Or in some cases the most embarrassing thing at the wrong time! But these two kids have the biggest hearts and the sharpest minds. Through all the pain and loss that they have suffered, they have rebounded. They love each other and know they are loved by all around them. They seem to know that life is short and to not take it for granted. They love to laugh and have fun.
Although I want them to stay these ages forever, I am excited to see what is in store for them in the future. What will they become? What passion will they find? How can I influence them to be kind, loving human beings? I try not to stress or worry about the otherworldly influences on them or wonder if they will make the right decisions. For now, I will continue loving them and encouraging them to be strong and inspiring.
After the weekend I had I am feeling more and more blessed. Jeff left a couple of weeks ago for a really long work trip. Before he left, he was sweet enough to ask if I was going to be ok. He knew I would be lonely without him, and he knew I would be thinking about Gram. He checked in on me all the time and encouraged me to ask my best friend to come down for the weekend. I feel so blessed to be married to this amazing man. He thinks of everything I need before I even realize that I need it.
My best friend came to visit, and we had the most amazing time. It took my mind off of Gram. We relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company. We talked about everything from our families, to our love lives to other friends. We laughed and celebrated Gram’s memory as well. We enjoyed our time at the pool and went downtown for dinner. After some drinks, we usually face-timed with my husband and had more laughs. I am not sure how he puts up with me but I am blessed that he does. He doesn’t get upset with me for being a fool and it makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I hope someday you find your Prince, too.
I saw this Bob Marley quote on Facebook a few weeks ago. I loved it and wanted to share it with you. I believe it rings true for both intimate relationships and friendships. Support each other, lift each other up, don’t try to change each other. Love them for who they are. Be blessed to know that person. It also made me think of my favorite Bob Marley song, Three Little Birds because everything is going to be alright.
“You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before she may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She’s not perfect—you aren’t either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her
that she knows you can break—her heart.
So don’t hurt her, don’t change her,
don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she’s not there.
Love with your whole being when you receive love.
Because there are no perfect girls, but there will always be a girl who is perfect for you..”
I was raised Catholic. I went to Sunday School and CCD until I was confirmed in the 11th grade. I continued going to church with my family on Saturday nights and even on weekends through most of my college days.
Being Catholic was part of me. My grandparents were in the choir and very involved in the church. They sang for many weddings, holidays, and funerals. My parents were of the belief system that if we missed church and something “bad” happened it was because we missed church. I believed that for a while as well.
The most significant thing I learned about being Catholic was the Golden Rule, “Do Unto Others as You Would Have them Do Unto You.” I feel this is a very important rule to remember throughout life. Putting yourself in other people’s shoes is one way to feel compassion for others. Treat a situation like you would want to be treated if that person was you.
Once I moved to Richmond I didn’t go as often as I should. When I was in church, I was thinking of 100 different things I had to do or places I wanted to be. Church didn’t hold my attention. Plus, it was the same thing over and over. I could pretty much repeat it in my sleep 🙂
There was one small Catholic church in Richmond that I did enjoy. It seemed to be more like a Southern Baptist church because people were loud and happy and cheerful. The choir was amazing and the songs were upbeat. It was very different than the traditional Catholic Churches I had been to. Because there was a shortage of priests, Sister Cora did the service, which I thought was amazing as well. I actually enjoyed going to church and felt fulfilled.
A few years later, I was kind of lost. I wasn’t going to church. I had been through a divorce. I was a 31-year-old woman but acting like a 21-year-old with no cares in the world. A few people mentioned a church to me that they really enjoyed, but I never went. It was non-denominational, and I just wasn’t really sure. Until one morning, I woke up, late, hungover, and discovered my wallet was missing.
I decided it was time for a change. I decided to try this new church that everyone was raving about. I went to Commonwealth Chapel the next week and fell in love. Everyone was so nice. I felt welcomed, the music was incredible, and they served coffee! I left church feeling really good. I listened to Pastor Brandon’s message and the words of the music without thinking of where I needed to be the rest of the day. It ended up being really emotional for me, which again, was very different than the traditional Catholic Church.
After a few weeks, I was asked to join a Bible study group. I had never been to one, and even though I had gone to church my whole life, I didn’t know much about the Bible. But because I am a Yes, Woman, I said yes. The group was great. It was a wonderful mix of young adults. We talked about the sermon that week or a chapter in the Bible. Then we would just chat about life, socialize, and pray for each other. Throughout the week, we would check up on each other and sometimes do things after church or on another day of the week. I felt really happy and excited to be a part of such a wonderful, kind group of people. At that time, my Dad was fighting cancer and was nearing the end. We prayed for him as a group, and I thought for sure a miracle would happen because of the strong beliefs of this group of people, but in the end, we lost him.
After a few years, people started leaving the church. All of my friends were going in different directions. I tried a few other churches but nothing felt right. Then it was 2015, and I was off to Thailand.
Once I returned and started living with Gram in my hometown, we went to church for a while but then they changed the time, and it was too early for Gram. I went with friends to a few more churches around my hometown but again nothing felt right. My husband and I have tried a few different churches over the years as well but we haven’t found one that we have loved. We don’t believe in going to church just to go. We want to feel fulfilled, blessed, and happy after attending a service. And we know it can be that way so we will keep searching.
As you know, I have been feeling Lost Without Gram. I don’t know what my purpose is. I don’t know what is next. I am not sure who I am anymore or why I am here. I have turned to traveling and being comfortably numb. I have tried to not think about anything.
Until this past weekend, when I was home. Alone. It was the first time since Gram passed. As soon as I dropped my husband off at the airport, I was in tears. I don’t know why. I guess I just needed a good cry. I had such a mix of feelings. I felt guilty for putting Gram in the home. I felt sad for not taking her out when she broke her hip. I felt joy that she lived such a long, wonderful life. I felt happy that so many people got to meet and know her. I felt envious that she lived such a long and beautiful life. I felt relief that she was no longer in pain. I felt blessed that I was able to spend five wonderful years with her. And I felt lost because I wanted her here. I want to see her sweet face and hear her cute laugh.
The next day, I was home alone and listening to music. Two songs came on that reminded me of church, “Watch Over You” and “One Thing Remains.” You may not be into Christian music but please take a quick listen to these two songs. I feel they are really powerful, no matter what you believe, and I think you can relate to it as a parent or a child as well.
I thought maybe I should go back to church. It seemed to help before. I turned to Ecosia (similar to Google but they plant trees for each search!). I found the First Assembly of God Church. Something different from my Catholic upbringing but after perusing the website I was intrigued. I went to the Women’s Ministries page and listened to a video called “Help for Hurting Women: Identity Crisis”. It really hit home. These two prayers really helped me. Again, I apologize if the church thing isn’t for you, but I feel like they are pretty powerful words. I intend to repeat them when I am feeling down. I hope they help you, too.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I need you. I need you to guide my life. I need you to save me. Please forgive me for every way that I have not honored you with my life. Jesus, come into my heart and make me to be the woman that you designed for me to be. Jesus, change in me whatever needs to be changed. And I will trust you all the days of my life with all of my heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
-Linda Dorcey
I am an awesome spirit being of magnificent worth as a person. I am deeply loved by God. I am fully pleasing to God. I am totally accepted by God. I am absolutely complete in Christ. And when my person is expressed through my performance, the reflection is dynamically unique. There has never been another like me in the history of mankind nor will there ever be. I am an original. One of a kind. Really somebody. And so are you.
-Linda Dorcey’s Pastor friend
So in the end, I believe there is something greater than us, and I need to believe that one day I will get to see all of my lost loved ones again. I honestly can’t wait for the reunion. I don’t know what my purpose on Earth is, at this time, but I have faith that God needs me here for some reason and a plan will be revealed eventually. For some reason Gram’s purpose on this Earth was complete, and she was needed in Heaven. One day we will know. Until then, don’t be afraid to take chances. Don’t be afraid to go to a new church or try a new activity. Life is too short. Get out there, be brave, be strong, and LIVE!
If you have been following me since the beginning of the blog (August 2020), then you know I left for an amazing adventure in the fall of 2015. I have written about Germany, Finland, and Sweden. Now on to the next leg of my trip. The Netherlands.
I hugged Marja goodbye and boarded the plane in Helsinki and was off to my next stop. I was now headed to the Netherlands to visit my friend Susana, with whom I graduated and who was a foreign exchange student from Spain. Susana, her husband, and her two adorable children were right there waiting for me in Amsterdam.
We had dinner at the airport and then headed back to their house. They lived about an hour from the airport in a cute little townhouse. Although it had been 21 years since we had seen each other, Susana and I stayed up talking for hours just like no time had passed! The next day we went to pick up a friend of mine from Richmond who was meeting us there. Susana showed us all around Amsterdam. The three of us had an amazing day. We tried not to get run over by all the passing bicycles (which is extremely difficult) because the bikers are everywhere!! The bicycle parking by the train stations is just insane and was something I couldn’t even believe. It also made me realize what a wonderful place Amsterdam was that people enjoyed being outside and riding their bikes everywhere.
We ate some wonderful food at open-air restaurants, saw the Amsterdam sign, the oldest wooden house in Amsterdam, and some infamous “coffee shops”. (For more pictures, click here.) It was such a fun day. We had many laughs and just relaxed as we toured around the city. We weren’t on a time schedule, and we all enjoyed each other’s company. Susana was a great tour guide! It was nice to have someone show us around. We took the train home, and I remember just feeling happy and content. I was so blessed to be on this adventure. I was so blessed for my new friend and my old friend to hit it off so well. I was so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.
The next day, Susana and her family showed us around Utrecht. It was about halfway to the airport, and she helped us get on the train after our exploring. Utrecht was also an amazing little city. I loved all the canals of the Netherlands. I believe Americans first think of the Red Light District or the coffee shops in Amsterdam, but I am not sure we truly understand the beauty of Amsterdam unless we go there. The canals are amazing. The bridges are fantastic. It is so much more.
Although we only had three days in the Netherlands, it was enough to get a little taste of it, but I also knew there was so much more to explore, and I couldn’t wait to return one day. Little did I know then that I would get to be the tour guide for my husband three years later.
After we hugged Susana and her family goodbye, my friend, Erin and I were off on our next adventure. Italy!
Honestly, I know it should be somewhat of a relief. I should be excited to have no responsibility, but I feel lost without Gram. She has always been a huge part of my life. It all started the day I was born. My Dad was not able to be there because he was in the Army and deployed to Korea. Therefore, Gram was the one with my mom at the hospital, and she was the one who carried me home. Gram was a constant in my life. She lived three blocks away, she was at most of my athletic events, and she was there for all the important dates like Prom and Homecoming.
My Grandparents supported my move to California when I felt I needed to get out of my small town. They came all the way out to visit me with our foreign exchange student Marja. Gramps was so excited to go to Dodger Stadium for a baseball game and Dodger Dog. I showed them around Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and San Bernandino.
Once I moved to Richmond, my grandparents again made many trips up and down the interstate to visit. We saw each other for holidays, birthdays, and random times in between. When I decided to quit my job and move to Thailand, Gram was sad to see me leave but was one of my biggest supporters.
Even though she was my grandmother and had been a part of my life since I was born, these past five years were different. Our relationship became so much more. At first, when she was more independent, she was my partner in crime. We did everything together. It was nice to have someone to keep me company. We went shopping, we traveled up and down the East Coast, and of course, we drove to the nearest ice cream shop. We weren’t in a hurry and we weren’t trying to meet deadlines or set any records. We just went where we wanted to go when we wanted to go. Gram rarely complained. She was always up for a ride in the car. She loved my little convertible EOS. And I usually loved her by my side except when she would say some embarrassingly loud comment about the “geezer” getting gas at the pump next to us in his fancy convertible. Oh, gram.
After a while, she became a little more dependent on me, and then it seemed she became more like the child I never had. I got to know her really well. I knew what she liked to eat, what she was about to say, when she had to go to the bathroom, and what color she wanted on her nails. I imagine this is what having a three-year-old is like 🙂 But I loved having this little lady by my side. She smiled, she laughed, and she just went with the flow. She never had a whole lot to say but every now and again that little lady would make me laugh so hard. Some of my fondest memories and best pieces of advice came In the Bathroom with Gram. Because my grandmother knew me almost as well as I knew her, she would tell my mom and my friends that we can’t tell Stacy how much we like Jeff or she won’t like him. She was his biggest fan and of course, I became his biggest fan, too.
So six weeks after her passing, here I am, lost without Gram. I miss her advice. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss my sidekick.
For five years, I worked odd jobs even though my biggest job was caring for Gram. I just felt like I needed to do something. I needed to have a “job”. I don’t know why I felt defined by my “job” but for some reason, it has always mattered to me. It’s the first question people ask when you meet them. I realized how lost without Gram I was at our last ski week. We met new friends on the mountain and everyone had a job. Some were in real estate, some in film and of course, most of mine were pilots. Then someone asked me, “What do you do?”. Hmmm, what was I going to say? I wasn’t an educator anymore, I wasn’t a caregiver anymore, I wasn’t a realtor anymore. Who was I? I felt like I didn’t have an identity. I was just a pilot’s wife being a ski bum on a beautiful mountain.
I know I am a strong, independent woman with the most amazing husband. I know I am an aunt and I love those little ones so much. I know I am a travel junkie and can’t wait for more amazing adventures. But what do I say? What do I do now? I guess it’s ok to take the time to figure that out, but it’s hard, and it honestly has me a little lost without Gram. One wonderful friend of mine suggested I say something like “After five years of caregiving, I am taking some time to enjoy my husband and my marriage while I figure out my next adventure.” And that is amazing advice but it’s so hard to be patient and to not feel a little lost.
I know I am on a new journey and right now even though I am lost without Gram, I do believe something exciting and meaningful will come my way. I will never forget my time with Gram or the memories I made with her. She left me on this Earth a better person than I was five years ago and for that, I will forever be grateful. I am excited to see what this next chapter of my life will bring and maybe my husband and I won’t feel so lost without Gram. Maybe we will be led by Gram to new adventures, new memories together, and new times to cherish. I am surrounded by one amazing, loving, supportive husband and several wonderful friends and family members. Whatever will be is meant to be, and I have to have faith that all my angels above will lead us in the right direction.
Skiing. You would think growing up in northwestern Pennsylvania, I would be a skier. But I played basketball and didn’t want to get hurt. Plus, I didn’t really care to be out in the cold for hours. Therefore, I skied a handful of times. Four years ago, my husband introduced me to his ski and snowboard club. Skiing is his passion. He’s been skiing since he was four years old, and he loves it. He also loves going to the snow and going back to warm, sunny Florida. (And now I do, too.)
Every month December through March there is an airline ski week. Most of the airlines race and earn points. I am not sure what the points get them because our ski and snowboard club does not race:) Many resorts give the airlines discounts on lodging and lift tickets. My husband started taking me three years ago. I wasn’t very good or comfortable on the mountain, but I wanted to learn. I wanted to see the beautiful views from mountaintops, and I wanted to be a part of the ski club.
The first ski trip I went on was in Steamboat Springs, Colorado in December 2018. I didn’t have any confidence and really no ski skills. My husband’s friends insisted that he NOT teach me how to ski. So, one of the girls we were with took me to the bunny hill and started with the basics… how to stop, how to get on the lift, how to get out of my skies. She was an amazing instructor. We did some greens (beginner runs) and accidentally a blue (intermediate runs) or two, where I proceeded to yardsale down the mountain. For those of you who don’t ski, yardsale means my poles and skies went flying as I tumbled down the mountain. I enjoyed it though because I was warm, it was fun, and I didn’t get hurt. I especially liked apres ski (happy hour) and the theme party on Wednesday night.
The next year, the first airline ski week was at Copper Mountain in Colorado. My husband, against my will, persuaded me to take three ski lessons. This turned out to be very helpful and the instructor took us on greens and blues that we could handle. I started feeling a little better and more confident about skiing. On this trip, we couldn’t find anyone to stay with Gram so we could get a break from Gram therefore we took her with us. My husband and the two guys we stayed with would take turns checking on her while I was in my lesson. They would sit with her for a few minutes, hand her a banana or some Hershey Kisses, and then be back on the slopes. She was relatively steady and comfortable for a few hours on her own and the TV was on for her. She had a wonderful time. We took her into the village and to apres ski. She just laughed and smiled. I didn’t know that Copper was one of the highest mountains in Colorado and that many people get altitude sickness. Not Gram though, she hung right in there doing shot skis and all!
The next month, we did two days in Park City, Utah before heading to Steamboat Springs again. I love Park City. It is one of my favorite mountains. We skied Park City, the Canyons, and Deer Valley. I loved that the ski resorts were so close together. I absolutely loved Deer Valley. I felt pretty confident on the greens and blues there. After two days there, we went back to Steamboat. It was great to be back on the mountain where I originally learned. It was fun to do the blues and not yard sale down the mountain. I was starting to get the hang of it and really enjoy it.
Then Covid hit and I didn’t get to ski again that season.
In 2020, the ski weeks have been different. As you read in Missing Gram, we put her into senior living in November. Therefore, I was able to go to the first ski week. Usually, it is at Copper Mountain, but because of Covid, it got changed to Steamboat Springs. Since we were going there in January, our ski and snowboard team decided to do our own ski week and go to Park City, Utah. There were about 10 of us, and we have a friend that lives there so she hosted many of us. I was excited to go back to Deer Valley. I was also excited because my husband bought me the Ikon Pass. This is the only way to go if you are going to ski more than four or five times a year. We skied Snowbird, Solitude, and Deer Valley. Deer Valley is my all-time favorite thus far. The greens and blues are absolutely perfect for me. They even have double blues, which I love. Double blue means it’s a little more difficult than the blue but not as difficult as a Black Diamond. It was early in the season so a lot of the more difficult trails were closed so it was nice for all of us to ski together, and I didn’t feel like I was holding anyone back.
In January 2021, we decided to head out to Denver early before the airline ski week. We stayed with friends in Silverthorne, Colorado, and we were able to ski for a couple of hours at Copper Mountain. We parked the car at the bottom of a chair lift and got right on the mountain with our Ikon Passes. The hill to get back to the car was a Black Diamond (advanced runs). Our friend was confident I could make it down to the car but I was too nervous and didn’t chance it the first day. But on the second they sneakily took me down. I saw the sign but I told myself to relax and just go slow. I remember looking up at what I had just skied and couldn’t believe it. But once I was down, I was so excited to have skied a black diamond!! I really had no desire to do it, but it was fun and I didn’t fall! Thank you, friends, for pushing me.
We spent the next week in Steamboat Springs. I did a few more black diamonds, but by the end of the week, my legs were so tired. Therefore, I decided to play it safe and stay on the blues. It was a great week but very different. Usually, during ski weeks we have a meet and greet party on Mondays, team dinner on Tuesdays, a theme party on Wednesdays, and an awards dinner on Thursdays for anyone who races. This year, many teams stayed in their condos with the people they were comfortable with or did apres ski outside. There were no parties and only our team went to dinner. It was definitely a different experience, but fun all the same.
In March, the airlines usually hold an international ski and snowboard week. It bounces between North America and Europe. This year it got canceled because of Covid. Our team decided to have our own ski week in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Other airlines decided to join us so we had a group of about 24 people. My husband and I were going to meet in Denver and ride up with friends from Silverthorne. Well, we had to go to Plan B which entailed me flying to Denver, my girlfriend, Kelly, picking me up at the airport, and us driving eight hours to Park City, Utah. A huge snowstorm was coming and we didn’t want to take the chance of getting caught in it and not making our ski week. Plus, we didn’t really want to try driving in a snowstorm.
Kelly and I had the best time driving. We drove her husband’s truck which is a stick shift. I love driving sticks so I was super excited. We had great weather and Taylor Swift on the radio! It was a long day but we made it and stayed at a friend’s house, which was beautiful. It was extremely generous of them to let us stay, and we really appreciated it. The next day we did a little Workout and then went to Deer Valley to ski. She had never been there, and I had never skied without my husband so it was just the two of us and we had to pay extra attention to where we were and how to get back down the mountain. We had a great time!
The next day my husband flew into Salt Lake City and he and another pilot Ubered up to the house. We all got ready and met other friends on the mountain. We had another beautiful bluebird day at Deer Valley. One of our friends, Lisa, used to be a ski instructor so she gave me a few pointers on how to become a better, more confident skier, which I really appreciate.
The next day we drove 5 hours to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was so excited to see a new state and another beautiful mountain resort. The views you see on top of the mountain are breathtaking. Not everyone is willing to dress in cold gear, put on snow pants and skies, and go up the hill to see them. I, for one, am glad my husband pushed me to learn a new skill that enabled me to see such beautiful sights. I am beyond blessed.
Jackson Hole was a great little town. The four of us had lunch at the Million Dollar Cowboy Restaurant and then headed to the resort. We stayed on the mountain at the Alpenhof. Jackson Hole is a steeper mountain and up at the top, there are no greens. The first day our friend had us traversing across Black Diamonds. We were trying to find a blue but I was not ready for this and my whole body was shaking. I was deathly afraid I was going to slip and tumble all the way down the mountain. We eventually got to a spot where I took off my skies and turned around. I could not go any further. My beautiful husband turned around with me as well as another couple. We eventually found a blue and decided to ski there.
The week was wonderful. Great people, great skiers, great times. On St. Patrick’s Day, my husband and two friends, Sean and Lisa, surprised me with t-shirts that said “St. Gram’s Day”. Everyone in our group had the shirt on and unzipped to show bright green and Gram’s beautiful smiling face. It was the most amazing, thoughtful gift. Thank you wonderful friends for thinking of it and participating in it. Some of the skiers didn’t even know Gram but they heard such wonderful things about her that they were blessed to be a part of it. That night in town, several people asked who Gram was, and I shared my blog with them. I am hoping I now have followers in Wyoming!
So here I am on day 28 of skiing. I am learning to love the sport. I love the friends I have made and the people I have met by being a part of the ski club. I love being a woman in my 40’s and learning a new sport and being healthy and athletic enough to participate. So stay young, stay strong, be inspired, and just go for it!
“How sweet is rest after fatigue! How sweet will heaven be when our journey is ended.”
– George Whitefield