The saying goes that seeing is believing but that isn’t always the case. As we head into the new year, let’s take the spirit of the holiday season with us and embrace those things we can’t see such as love, kindness, and compassion. Make this new year one of the best!
Seeing is believing, but sometimes the most real things in the world are the things we can’t see.
~ The Polar Express
Photo by Alicia Slough on Unsplash
A friend told me I should publish this letter every year so I thought I would share it again for those who missed it the first time or for those who may need to read it again at this time of year. Even though many of us have family or friends who are no longer in our lives for a variety of reasons, I hope we can rejoice and celebrate those who are. Celebrate each other and your relationships whether it’s someone you talk to once a day, once a month or once a year. If they bring joy and light to your world, tell them how much you appreciate them. For those who shed a shadow of darkness on your light, let them go. Live this life that’s meant to be lived this holiday season and the upcoming new year.
The Holidays. We all seem to love them. We have many expectations for them. Some of us have a lot of anxiety for them. Some of us have lost loved ones through the years, and we seem to miss them the most during the holidays. Let us try to rejoice and be happy this holiday season. Let’s honor our lost loved ones by keeping their spirit alive with love and laughter. To try to deal with loss and anxiety I decided to write a letter from above. Imagine this letter being sent to you by your lost loved one.
Dear loved one on Earth,
I know this is a difficult time for you. You want me to be there in person and not just in spirit. You want to hear me laugh and give me a big squeeze. I, too, want that more than anything. But I also want you to understand how much I want you to be happy even though I am gone.
I feel like you are holding yourself back. Maybe you are afraid that you will disappoint me if you are too happy without me down there. Maybe you feel I will be disappointed if you have too much fun. Maybe you are scared that my memory will fade if you enjoy yourself and other people around you. Please know that is the furthest thing from the truth.
The way you can honor me the most is by living your best life!! As you know time on Earth is limited and you never know when your time will be up. I am at peace. I am happy. I am having the best time reuniting with all of our lost loved ones. I am no longer in pain. I am free. I am young. I am waiting for you. You, too, will see when your time comes how wonderful it is here in Heaven.
Please know I have not forgotten about you, and I still hold you tight whenever I get the chance. I am by your side every day. I hold your hand when you are lonely, and I pick you up when you have fallen. I send you signs from Heaven. But I see your struggles, and I know it is my fault you are so sad, and I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to live! I need you to search your soul and find yourself. Who are you now? Who can you become? How can you honor me and my spirit?
Even though it may be hard, please know that I am ok. And now I want you to be ok. I want you to find a companion or partner to make you happy. I want you to find friends where you can laugh and giggle until all hours of the night. I want you to take chances and travel. Go on a wild adventure. And when you think of me, think of me and smile. Don’t feel guilty. Life is meant to be lived and you need to start living again.
So for the upcoming holidays, give yourself grace. You are not alone. I am by your side and I love you. Talk about me, smile about the amazing memories we shared, and start this new year by living your best life… without me.
Love,
Your Loved One in Heaven
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash
As 2023 comes to its final month, let us remember that endings equal new beginnings. We have another chance to welcome this new year with open arms. The end of the year is usually filled with hustle and bustle. We are all too busy to just relax and take in the holiday season. We are celebrating with office and holiday parties. We are shopping for the next best gift. We are winding down the school year and our kids are getting excited to go on break.
Although I would like to say to pause to sit down and watch a few Christmas movies on Hallmark or Netflix, I know it’s hard. My Heart and I have three days where we will be at our home in Florida where we could sit down and watch a movie or two. I realize that our movie time will probably end because we have tasks to do and the movies will be pushed off. But I am going to commit to taking two hours this holiday season and watching a movie! I hope that you will join me.
The holidays can be difficult for some. Many people have expectations and when those expectations are not met they become disappointed. They become upset that the day or the event didn’t go as they had planned in their mind. Therefore, they get in a mood and nothing can snap them out of it. Let’s try not to have expectations. Let’s try to just be present in the moment. If the fruitcake burns then let it burn. It is not the end of the world. Laugh about it and throw it away. Get some chocolate out of the cabinet and enjoy your dessert. Let the little things go.
Let’s commit to enjoying each other and not trying to outdo each other by buying things. I believe we probably all have enough “stuff”. Maybe volunteer your time to shop for those who don’t have enough. Donate one of your gifts to Toys for Tots. Let’s spread good cheer this holiday season.
The holidays can also be hard for some who have experienced loss. Remember, there are many things out of our control. All we can control is our reactions to them. Even though we miss our lost loved ones, let’s remember that they would want us to live and enjoy the family and friends we have left. Let’s enjoy those people who want to share in the holidays and memory-making with us. Let the others go. This is not the end. It is the beginning.
My wish for you this holiday season is to slow down, be in the moment, and laugh when the little things go wrong. Enjoy this time with your family and friends. Make special memories and take lots of pictures!
Happy Holidays!
Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day. Maybe we all don’t agree on many topics like politics, religion, or clothing styles but I think we can all agree that the Thanksgiving turkey, stuffing, and pies are something we all look forward to every year. I wish you and your family and friends the most blessed Thanksgiving Day and weekend.
“The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we all can agree so vehemently about? I don’t think so.”
~ Nora Ephron
I think for us as humans it’s easy to pass judgment. It’s easy to say they should have done it this way. Or they shouldn’t be doing it that way. But we need to remember we are not here to judge. We are all different and we all make different choices. Sometimes we don’t agree with the choices of others but that’s where understanding comes in. Quit judging and start loving and understanding.
It’s easy to judge. It’s more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience, and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods. Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow.
– Doe Zantamata
Photo by Bermix Studio on Unsplash
I know it’s been a few weeks since I posted and I am sorry. We have been all over the country enjoying the fall weather and spending time with family and friends. I found this quote this morning and needed to post it before we take off for another adventure this weekend. We are so blessed in this life with our family and friends. I hope that every time you get to spend time with loved ones, I hope you feel grateful. I know it’s hard but you can’t take these things for granted. One day you will not be able to call up that person on the phone, dress up in sixties gear to celebrate their birthday, or drop by their house to drink too much beer and stay up too late. Be grateful for the times you get to share together and enjoy the many moments of laughter.
“For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.”
~ Elie Wiesel
Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash
Autumn is such a beautiful time of year. The vibrant colors on the trees show us how magical nature is. Then it reminds us that you have to let things go. Don’t hold on to grudges. Don’t fixate on the past. Each year show your beautiful colors then let the things go that are holding you back.
“Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go.”
-unknown
Picture of Autumn in Park City downloaded from a Facebook post.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about mindset and how it can impact our lives. I feel like two people can look at the same situation and have two completely different thoughts about it. Some look up at a beautiful blue sky and only see the sun while the person standing right beside them sees the one cloud in the sky and can only worry about when it is going to rain. It is very intriguing. I believe it comes down to our state of mind and how we view the events in our lives.
Depending on the circumstances thrown at us and the lessons we’ve learned, we have different ways of viewing and reacting to life’s circumstances. I think many times, we as humans, tend to lean towards the negative. Our brains seem to remember the bad times more than the good times. Why do we do that? According to the article below, psychologists refer to this as negativity bias. It’s easier to see and remember the negative because it has more of an impact on us. Therefore, we need to make a conscious effort to stay positive.
My husband says it all the time… life is about making choices (and living with the consequences of those choices). We are thrown into many circumstances in life. We have hundreds of choices to make every day. Are we washing our hair? Going to the gym? Drinking beer? Smoking cigarettes? Using sugar in our coffee or almond milk? Are we trying to eat healthy or stopping at the fast food restaurant? These are all choices, and they all have consequences that go with them. If you decide to eat out at a fast food restaurant every day for lunch and you get a double cheeseburger and fries then most likely you are going to gain weight and health problems may occur. On the flip side, if you have an important test coming up and you study and understand the material, the consequence is likely a good grade. This is your choice, and we are all free to make them. So what is your mindset? What are your goals? What do you want out of life? And are you happy with the choices you are making?
A positive mindset isn’t just for those day-to-day decisions. It also determines how we will react to those bigger life circumstances. Remember, we cannot control the circumstances around us (the event) but we can control our REACTIONS to the situations. We may lose a loved one. We may get laid off from a job. We may have our car broken into. The question is how do we react to these situations? What is our mindset?
If we have a negative mindset then we can get down, be depressed, blame others, and not take responsibility for our own lives. Yes, it’s ok to be sad sometimes. But we need to pick ourselves up. If we lose our job we can blame our employer, our family, or the economy. We can believe it is the worst thing that ever happened to us. We can sit at home and sulk about how terrible life is. OR we can take responsibility, change our mindset, and we can say wow this is a wonderful opportunity to go back to school, learn a new skill, or start our own business.
Having a positive mindset can be challenging. Sometimes it takes therapy. Maybe it takes good friends to help you realize life is not all bad. It definitely takes a conscious effort and hard work. The thing we need to realize is we cannot blame others for our situations, and we cannot compare our lives to others. Every single one of us has experienced heartbreak, death, disappointment, and sadness. And every single one of us has a different reaction to those experiences. Some of us have done the work and are striving for the silver lining. We cannot blame them. It does not mean they haven’t forgotten or that it doesn’t hurt anymore. It just means they are consciously reframing the negative thoughts in their head and striving for positive outcomes. We need to look within ourselves and see if we are stuck in a negative mindset. Then we need to decide what WE can do individually to help ourselves.
Just because “bad” things happen, doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. It just means there a different road is ahead and now we have a choice. Are we going to be strong and recover from the setback or are we going to continue letting circumstances control us? If we believe our life sucks then it will. If we see the world in a negative way we need to try to turn our thinking around as this helpful article suggests. Remember:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
Our mindset is the most critical piece of the puzzle. How we view our life and its’ circumstances is under our control. Believing in ourselves and trying to find the silver lining is well within us. We just need to do the work and change the way we see things.
Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash
I learned as a caregiver that even though your loved one needs you, you need to take care of yourself, your needs, and your happiness first. Then you will be able to shine brightly for your loved one. We need to learn our internal selves are what we need to prioritize. Everything else after that will fall into place.
“If you make your internal life a priority, then everything else you need on the outside will be given to you and it will be extremely clear what the next step is.”
— Gabrielle Bernstein
Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash
I try to write inspiring and uplifting posts, but sometimes I need to write about the sad stuff. Life is too short to hold grudges, be mad, sad, or down on yourself. But sometimes you can get in a funk and sometimes it’s hard to pull yourself out of it. That’s why it’s important to have a sound support system. Sometimes you need some positive reinforcement from your friends or family.
It’s hard to be positive especially when you’ve been hit with tragic events over and over. Losing a loved one, losing your job, losing your partner to divorce or separation, becoming distant from your family, or not hearing from your best friend can be huge downers. These are life circumstances. They are sad, and no one ever said it would be easy.
Yes, we can get down on ourselves. We can feel left out. We can feel depressed or pissed off. And yes, sometimes you need to sit in your private space, be sad, and have a good cry. Let it all out. Scream. Shout. Tell the world it’s not fair. Tell God you are upset. But then you need to pull yourself together and search deep within your soul. What has got you down? What has caused the feelings inside of you? Remember, we can only control our reactions to the circumstances that are thrown at us.
Over the years, I have lost several of my family members. I could be down and mad at the world. And sometimes I am. Sometimes I wonder why our family? Why did my sister have to go? Why isn’t my dad here with us anymore? And that’s okay. I am allowed to be sad sometimes. But I have to realize I cannot control their death. I cannot bring them back. I can only control how I react to the situation. I can only learn from their death that life is so very short and that one day I will reconnect with them. Until then why shouldn’t I try to be positive and spread kindness in this world? Why shouldn’t I enjoy the days I have left on this Earth? Why shouldn’t I try to experience all this world has to offer?
And maybe my circumstances are different than others. I don’t have to work full-time or stay in one place for an extended period. And for me, that is what I enjoy. I love living the gypsy life! Even if you have a job or need to stay in one place you can make it an adventure. Treat your city as if you are a tourist. What can you explore on your days off? Can you rent a bike and take a ride? Can you take a Sunday drive and head out into the country or to a park to enjoy the peacefulness? There are ways to make the world around you a wonderful place. You just need to start with you. What do you enjoy?
Remember, you have to do what makes you happy and what you have control over. Waiting for your best friend to call isn’t something you can control. You need to reach out or you need to move on. You cannot control your best friend. Waiting for the man of your dreams to show up on your doorstep isn’t going to happen either. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people. It’s scary and intimidating, but taking that first step is the hardest. But I promise it will be worth it!
It is also important to have friends that inspire you. It is important to have friends that are there for you through the good and bad times. It is important to have a friend you can call when you are down. Hopefully, your friends can pick you up when you are sad. Sometimes friends can be more understanding and supportive than your family. That’s why it’s important to choose friends who lift you up. My Prince and I are blessed with the best of friends.
In the end, it is okay to be sad sometimes, but please don’t let that sadness ruin your life. Life is too short, my friends. Turn your circumstances around. Find a powerful, uplifting song! Find a better, happier place for you within you. Take control of your life and make it the best life it can be! Take the Leap of Faith and do all those things you’ve always wanted to do!
Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash