Too often we let yesterday’s regrets interfere with today’s beauty. Let go of the past and concentrate on the beauty in front of us.
“Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.”
—Will Rogers
Photo by @felipepelaquim on Unsplash
There are many pressures from our friends, family, and society that make us want to live up to someone else’s standards. But let’s take a look inside and figure out who we are first. Then stay true to yourself in all situations and circumstances.
“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.”
―Virginia Woolf
Photo by Timur Romanov on Unsplash
I saw this article about the secret to life through an email subscription I get for free called “1440” which is a daily newsletter. It is a great email with the day’s news with unbiased reporting which is rare to get these days. It takes five minutes to read and there are links if you’d like to continue reading further into some articles. Please check it out.
I didn’t know why it was called 1440 but after reading their introduction I found out they named it that because the printing press was invented around the year 1440, spreading knowledge to the masses and changing the course of history. Also, in every day, there are 1,440 minutes. Now we know.
Here is a snippet from the article. “Maria Branyas Morera, the world’s oldest known person, died at the age of 117 on August 19, 2024. Born on March 4, 1907, in San Francisco, she moved to Catalonia, Spain, at age 8. Morera witnessed major historical events, including two world wars and the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, and she became the oldest known survivor of COVID-19 at age 113. She was active on social media as “Super Àvia Catalana” (or Super Catalan Grandma), amassing nearly 19,000 followers.
There are approximately 722,000 centenarians—those aged 100 and older—globally, with 108,000 in the US. Supercentenarians—those aged 110 and older—are rare, with about 250-300 worldwide and roughly 60-70 known in the US. Morera credited her longevity to enjoying nature, good company, avoiding toxic people, luck, and genetics.
Some studies suggest the maximum human lifespan could be between 120 and 150 years. The oldest verified person to have ever lived died in 1997 at 122. The current oldest living person is now 116-year-old Tomiko Itooka from Japan.”
What an amazing life! To have lived through all of that is a beautiful accomplishment. Congratulations to Maria and her family!
Gram would have been 100 years old today! Unbelievable that we had someone in our family who was three and a half years away from making it to be a centenarian. I wish she would have been able to see the day. And I wish she would have told me her secret to life although after spending my entire life and five years living with her I have a pretty good guess at what her secret might have been.
Unlike many of us who are getting old, Gram seemed to be ageless. I feel like she looked the same at age 95 as she did when she was 62. Same white hair, same cute smile, same personality. She was ALWAYS smiling. She loved sitting outside with the sunshine on her face. She loved sitting in her recliner and looking out the window at the snow. She seemed to appreciate whatever it was that was thrown at her.
I remember Gram always dressing nice and doing her hair and putting rouge on her cheeks. She cared about what she looked like. But I don’t think she cared what other people thought of her if they had bad thoughts. She said what was on her mind (sometimes a little too loud!).
I do have to admit the last six months of her life we could see a decline. She was getting thinner and more frail. She was sleeping 16 hours a day. She was grumpier and the dementia seemed to have more of an impact on her. But all the same, she was my Gram and I loved her.
I love the advice Maria gives to us in the article. We need to enjoy nature and good company, avoid toxic people, have some luck, and hope for good genetics. I believe this is why Gram lived as long as he did. I believe Gram’s secret to life was her personality. She loved sitting outside, she didn’t put up with toxic people in her life, and she was happy and appreciative. She didn’t take much for granted. She was generous and concerned about the well-being of others. I admire her strength and her heart. She was my biggest inspiration. I mean who else would sit on a plant cart 🙂
Happy 100 years in Heaven, Gram! I hope you made a vanilla cream pie with a graham cracker crust (my favorite) and your delicious spaghetti and meatballs. Enjoy a beautiful family dinner with all of those up there filled with love, laughter, and memories. Until we meet again…
Whether it be in sports, your career, or your life, we seem to want to brag when we are good at something. But let’s stay humble and remember when we are great at something, people will tell us!
When you’re good at something, you’ll tell people. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you.
~ Walter Payton
Why is it that people keep going back to toxic relationships? If a significant other, family member, or friend treats you with disrespect and/or rage, then why stay in that relationship? Why keep interacting with that person when the same thing keeps happening? Isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome?
My Valentine and I try to live our lives with the least amount of stress and the most amount of fun. Yes, sometimes we don’t make the best decisions. We stay up too late when we know we have important things to do in the morning, travel too much, and therefore sometimes don’t foster the relationships we have in one area, and are too much alike to stop each other from making some not-so-good decisions. But we usually do these things because we are having so much fun at the moment. In the end, we rarely regret the late nights and the fun we have with our amazing friends and family. And maybe some people would call that toxic, while we call it life.
But I guess I am talking about how when other people are not happy in their own lives, or within themselves, they take it out on you. Because they are in a sad state because of a situation and their negative reaction to it, they find you an easy target. They know they can disrespect you and you will keep on taking it. You will call them back. You will forgive and forget. You will move on like nothing happened. And half the time they don’t even admit they were wrong. And why? Because you understand that they were in a bad space and that it truly wasn’t personal against you. You know they didn’t mean what they said or did. So you are able to move on because you have learned through your own self-help articles and therapy that many people lash out because of what is going on inside of them. You know it rarely has anything to do with you. And even though you know all of this in your head it still can make you sad sometimes.
Toxic people are tough. They are your family or very good friends. They have been with you through thick and thin. You have good times with them. You laugh with them. You find hope that finally the situation will turn around. But somehow something happens that triggers the negative response. And because you are a healthy person inside you understand their toxic ways. But because you understand them and try not to take their rudeness to heart, does that mean you need to continue to put up with it? Because they are in a bad place does not give them the right to take it out on you when you have done nothing wrong.
It’s hard because many times these toxic relationships start with jealousy and envy. Their lives didn’t turn out the way they had planned or were hoping and because you have some of what they don’t, they feel like they can be angry with you. Instead of taking responsibility, helping themselves, and figuring out how to improve their lives, they want everyone around them to feel worse. Toxic people have a way of seeing the world negatively and they believe their life sucks. (Please read this article.) They can’t seem to figure out that:
“Life is amazing. Even when it sucks, it is amazing, and we should be grateful for every moment.”
— Hal Elrod
I know it’s tough, and I give credit to those of you who have cut the toxic relationships out of your life. You are very strong people! To those of you living with toxic relationships, I hope you know it isn’t about you. I hope you can see what a wonderful person you are and what a wonderful person your loved one is (if only they could see it in themselves). I hope you can lift yourself up, and I hope you don’t pass the toxicity on to other happy people in your life.
Photo by Obie Fernandez on Unsplash
As you know I am a Yes Woman. Therefore, I get myself into all kinds of jobs and I have yet to figure out how to make any supplemental income doing them. So here we go again. Another transformation. I decided to work with a friend, Taylor Beckett, as a travel agent. I have had my travel agent number for a while, but I am hoping, under his leadership, I can figure out how to earn trips for my hubby and me and discover some great deals for my family and friends. So follow me on Instagram and email me if you need help planning your next trip!
(Here is a link to his new book about becoming a travel advisor if you are interested.)
Because of this new opportunity, I started updating my LinkedIn profile, which has not been updated in about six years. I started following a page that gives daily inspiration. I read a post the other day, and I had to share parts of it with you. If you’d like to read the whole article click here.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“Your journey, your story, is uniquely yours. When you wake up each morning, remind yourself that you are the author of your own narrative. The words of others are like the wind – they can push you back or propel you forward, but only if you raise your sails. Choose to raise them towards positivity, towards growth and self-belief. Let the winds of opinions swirl around you, but never let them steer your course. You are stronger than you realize, capable of weathering any storm with resilience and courage. Stand tall, dear reader, and know that in the vast landscape of life, your voice, your choices, and your actions are what truly define you. Embrace this truth, and watch as you transform not just your own life, but also become a beacon of inspiration for those around you. Let’s embark on this journey together, with hearts full of hope and minds brimming with the power of choice. (Taken from the Leadership-Daily Inspiration post).”
I thought this article was amazing. We are so filled with self-doubt, and we let the words of others impact our self-perception. But we need to remember we do not need to listen to those opinions. There is a difference between constructive criticism and making yourself better, and hurtful words and opinions that can tear you down. Choose what you listen to and choose your transformation.
I’ve said it over and over: we cannot control the words or actions of others. All we can control is our reaction to those words or actions. We can hear them and tuck them away or we can let it destroy us. We can move on from the person’s actions, or we can let it pull us down a deep dark tunnel.
Let’s learn to make that transformation from seeing the negative to believing the positive. We have a choice each morning. Are we going to wake up and thank God for what we have: a roof over our heads, a loving family, great friends, a working automobile, and our ability to walk, to talk, to move? Or are we going to wake up pissed off because there are clouds outside our window, the dog needs to be taken out, and our friend didn’t call us back?
Seriously, my friends, life happens. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. We all could list the negative things we’ve been through every day. We can rehash the past events of loss, death, cruel words, insecurities, and self-doubt. Or we can dance like no one is watching and sing like no one is listening (which is how I sing Dreams!) and count our blessings. Let’s remember we only have one life (that we know of). And it is short. How do we want to live it?
What we need to do is stop comparing our lives to others. Life is too short to be upset that your friend has a nicer car or a bigger house or more money. Does it really matter? None of this materialistic stuff is going with us at the end. So live within your means, take the trips, make the memories, and live your best life for YOU!
I have said it many times. Love this life. It’s the only one you have. Choose to live it well.
“Love the life you live. Live the life you love.”
– Bob Marley
Photo by Federico Fioravanti on Unsplash
I don’t know about you, but I LOVE music. My Rock and I rarely have the TV on but the first thing we do when we get home from the gym is turn on music. We both love it. I am unsure if he hears and feels the words as much as I do, but the lyrics mean so much to me. I’ve always had power songs for different stages of my life.
Maybe you don’t know what I mean by Power Song. To me, it’s any song that makes you feel good about yourself. A song that makes you happy! A song that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. One that makes you dream, one where you can quit your job, give that presentation, ask for that raise, or tell your significant other to hit the road.
When I was younger and dreaming of love, I listened to Janet Jackson and her albums Control and Janet. I felt like I could find a man where I could be a strong independent woman and he would love me for who I am and stand by my side. I remember my best friend and I waiting for the video to come out for her song “Again.” It was just as we pictured it.
How can I be strong?” I’ve asked myself
Time and time I’ve said
That I’ll never fall in love with you again
In college, I listened to the double disk “Living in Clip” by Ani DiFranco. ALL of those songs are power songs. Her albums make me want to learn to play the guitar. Whenever I hear this album I immediately flash back to my college days. I made some of my best friends in college who are all powerful, independent, married women. These songs are more about being yourself and empowering you. Gravel is one of my absolute favorites!
And you’ve been juggling two women like a stupid circus clown, telling us both we are the one. And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy but you’re not going to stop me from having fun!
After college, I moved out to California. I had a 45-minute drive to work every morning. My power song on the drive was Hole’s Malibu. It takes me right back to my wonderful six months of living in California and all the exploring I did. The song and the place felt like summer to me and since I just left northwest PA in the snow in January, it was heaven.
Help me, pleaseBurn the sorrow from your eyesOh, come on be alive againDon’t lay down and die!
As most of you know I moved to Richmond, VA after that, and I was married in my twenties for three years. We separated then got back together. It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to leave. Divorce is a very difficult decision, especially for a Catholic girl, but once I made the decision a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt so much relief. During that time, I listened A LOT to Kelly Clarkson and her song “Since You Been Gone.” Sometimes in a marriage, it is hard to breathe. This song gave me the hope that I could leave and everything would be okay.
Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I’m so movin’ on, yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get what I want. Since you been gone. You had your chance, you blew it.
Then I was single and dating, therefore, I spent a lot of time with my sister. We loved listening to “Cigarettes” by the Wreckers. While you shouldn’t smoke cigarettes 🙂 it’s about being a powerful woman and waiting for the perfect partner who knows your worth.
‘Cause someday maybe somebody will love me like I need and someday I won’t have to prove ’cause somebody will see all my worth. But until then I’ll do just fine on my own.
If I was in a relationship that wasn’t going well or if I couldn’t see myself with that man forever, I would listen to Fergie’s “Big Girls Don’t Cry“. This song reminds me of my sister a lot. We would drive around in my convertible and sing it. It’s so good when you are ready to move on and get back to you and who you are.
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay, I hope you know, I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you, it’s personal, myself and I. We have some straightening out to do. And I’m gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket but I’ve got to get a move on with my life.
Sometimes you might just be having a bad day and sometimes you just need a power song. These are just a few examples of songs to turn on when you need to get out of a funk. As you know, my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE song to sing and to perform is “Dreams” by Van Halen. This song brings a smile to my face every time I hear it. Many of my friends are probably happy that it only makes me want to dance and sing about 95% of the time I hear it!
We’ll get higher and higherStraight up we’ll climbWe’ll get higher and higherLeave it all behind
Recently, Taylor Swift came out with a new album called The Tortured Poets Department. There are so many power songs on it. Some of you may not be T. Swift fans. (I know my niece is not.) But I think if you give the song , (Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me) a chance you may like it and you may feel empowered by it. To me, the song is about people putting you down and trying to stop you from achieving your goals. But you rise above it. You come out on top of everything. You take that doubt from those around you and you use it to empower you. You rise and show everyone what you are made of. It’s also just a fun song.
So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your streetCrash the party like a record scratch as I scream“Who’s afraid of little old me?”You should be
If you don’t like any of my power songs, then please find a song of your own. P!nk has some great power songs as well. If you are getting divorced or recently divorced her song “So What” is amazing. Metallica’s One can also get you into an “I can do anything” kind of mood.
It doesn’t matter what genre you like. Whatever you are going through, just pick a song that picks you up. One that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Pick the perfect song for you! Life is too short, my friends, to stay in a funk or in a place that doesn’t bring you joy. Yes, it is hard as hell to take that “Leap of Faith” but it can be done!
Photo by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash
Too many times we are coerced into visiting family or friends. Sometimes people make you feel guilty that you don’t visit often enough. But let us remember they can visit you, too! Let’s live this life without guilt. Do what you feel is best for you and live a happy life.
Don’t let people guilt you for not visiting them. They’re not visiting you either.
-unknown
Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash
It is hard not to react to words said or events without emotion. We can be hurt by things people say or do. We can be emotional about things that happen. And it’s ok to feel that way for a little bit but then we need to step back, take a deep breath and remember that we cannot control events or other people’s actions. All we can control is OUR reaction to it. React with your head not with your heart. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you.
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.
~ Warren Buffet
Photo by Ethan Sykes on Unsplash